3 y/o narrating thoughts?

chardonnay24 · February 2014

My kid, who has always been challenging and defiant, has had a speech delay since 18 months and recently, his speech has really taken off. He spends the day talking about what he's doing. Sometimes this is helpful because I can hear him from the other room saying, "I putting Mama's keys in the potty..." and I can jump up and take care of it. Most times, I just want to beat him because it is for some reason MORE infuriating when I send him to time out and he says, "No, thanks" and walks casually away or "No time out! I'm running away! I'm hiding in the closet!" He will also mutter naughty things that he wants to do while in time out. "Throw ball at Mama. Say damn it. No say gosh. Damn it. Throw Mama's computer on ground, make Mama so sad."

Please tell me that it's not just my 3 y/o and that it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it. After 2 weeks of this, I'm finding it really hard to keep my cool when he speaks.

Mrs.adambabycakes · February 2014

chardonnay24 said:

My kid, who has always been challenging and defiant, has had a speech delay since 18 months and recently, his speech has really taken off. He spends the day talking about what he's doing. Sometimes this is helpful because I can hear him from the other room saying, "I putting Mama's keys in the potty..." and I can jump up and take care of it. Most times, I just want to beat him because it is for some reason MORE infuriating when I send him to time out and he says, "No, thanks" and walks casually away or "No time out! I'm running away! I'm hiding in the closet!" He will also mutter naughty things that he wants to do while in time out. "Throw ball at Mama. Say damn it. No say gosh. Damn it. Throw Mama's computer on ground, make Mama so sad."

Please tell me that it's not just my 3 y/o and that it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it. After 2 weeks of this, I'm finding it really hard to keep my cool when he speaks.

Say what? Maybe I'm wrong, but wouldn't a major leap in speech be a good thing? 3 year olds are hard all around, but this doesn't seem like a problem.

RondackHiker · February 2014

I get frustration, but I'm not sure about your word choice. Do you really want to beat him? Because then there are more issues.

LinnyAnne10 · February 2014

My 3 year old talks non-stop (as I listen to him sing chevy over and over again, then goes on to muttering other things cars) I just kind of learned to half listen to make sure he's not getting in trouble and keep doing what I can.

chardonnay24 · February 2014

No, I don't actually want to beat him. Jesus. I would think that I've been posting here long enough that people would know that.

Sorry, poor word choice to use over the internet. When I say that IRL, people laugh, because clearly, it's a joke.

And yes, a leap in speech is a good thing. I was just curious if it's normal for 3 y/o to narrate everything they're thinking, and is it's common for them to be so nasty all the time.

wiggyslilsis · February 2014

That is how I am teaching DD the words for things by talking her through what we are doing. I figure at some point she will start immitating me but it will be good because then she will be learning the words for things.

minervacullen · February 2014

I've heard of kids doing that. I don't thinks it's that uncommon, he's probably just happy he can. When DS was 3 and in time outs he'd mutter about being pissed off.

EVA116 · February 2014

Honestly my DD had a speech delay too. I am trying to get her to narrate.

angelashly · February 2014

I never thought she actually wanted to beat her child just like I don't actually want to run away when I say it.

That being said get used to the defiance as 3 is the year they are really learning. Mine is testing so many boundaries. She will look at me and do it and then say sorry. Comes with the age.

EVA116 · February 2014

Plus, I am sure it is just a phase. Is there any way you can contact his old speech therapist and ask her/him?

EVA116 · February 2014

I know our therapist said I could call anytime if I had concerns or wanted to have her re-evaluated.

jorkz821 · February 2014

Does nobody remember OP's backstory? Come on now.

Anyways, my kid is not quite 3 yet but although she does seem to be talking all effing day, she doesn't narrate thoughts like you describe. The closest she's come to that is talking about how people will be proud of her when she goes o the potty.

In your case, it sounds like it might be useful sometimes (about to throw keys in the toilet) but the other ones you described, like planning to throw your computer down and make you sad - I'm not sure that that is a typical 3 yo behaviour. Does he only say those things in retaliation, so to speak, for being sent to time out? Or just randomly?

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated, I would be too. Hugs!

evaazalea · February 2014

DD used to, and to an extent still does some of that, I agree it's actually kind of helpful in many situations when it's almost a warning of what their evil plans are. She has learned to be more sneaky though, hiding when she has accidents of took something she knew she wasn't suppose to have.

angelashly · February 2014

I'll be honest I'm fairly new so I don't know back stories

wesleycrusher · February 2014

I remember the backstory, I won't share it but it's easy enough to get a feel for it if you look at other threads OP has started.

I don't think it's the narration that's concerning so much as the content of it. That plus his history of aggression/behavior problems would make me more concerned- not as a speech issue but a behavioral one. Not sure what services you have, but I would bring it up with his behavioral therapist if he has one. Because maybe next week he won't be narrating out loud, but he'll still have those thoughts and he needs a way to deal with them.

RayRay007 · February 2014

DD talks all of the time, narrating, asking a bajillion questions and stating the most obvious things. But she doesn't talk aloud about wanting to be bad and make me mad. I do think it's odd for a 3 y.o. to know and vocalize the intent and desire to make their mother mad.

ASmallWonder · February 2014

I hope when I say "I'm gonna kill him" about, well, any of the men (young and grown) in my house that no one thinks I'm ACTUALLY going to commit murder.

wesleycrusher · February 2014

She has posted many times about aggression/behavior issues. this one jumps out:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12134063/my-kid-beat-up-another-kid-at-the-library-today#latest

wesleycrusher · February 2014

uconnhuskie007 said:
Am I the only one who feels like I'm "snooping" if I look at someone's post history? I don't like it.

I'd rather look at past history than have someone who is not OP explain all that has occurred with her son because I could easily get something wrong. But IIRC, he has been diagnosed with SPD and is in the process of being evaluated for ASD.

wesleycrusher · February 2014

MabelShesABiotch said:

I find the wording even more disturbing given the child has a history of serious aggression/behavior issues. The fact that a three year old beat someone up at the library and his mother uses phrases like wanting to beat her child for talking might not be a total coincidence.

sorry, but no. I don't think serious behavioral issues stem from OP expressing frustration on an internet forum . are you really blaming her for legit medical issues?

ETA: expressing frustration, not making a joke

chardonnay24 · February 2014

For the record, when I say I want to kidney punch my husband, cut my MIL, and kick my cat across the room, I am not actually advocating spousal, elder, or animal abuse.

And yes, I have said all those things at least once in the last 5 years, because that's just the way I talk. And no, as much as I've wanted to, I have never actually punched my husband in any organ, cut my MIL, or kicked my cat, just so we're clear.

jorkz821 · February 2014

MabelShesABiotch said:
I find the wording even more disturbing given the child has a history of serious aggression/behavior issues. The fact that a three year old beat someone up at the library and his mother uses phrases like wanting to beat her child for talking might not be a total coincidence.

Mabel... I'm sorry but not cool. Her DS has actual diagnosed medical/behavioural issues. Are you seriously saying she caused them by her word choice?

Unknown · February 2014

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wesleycrusher · February 2014

MabelShesABiotch said:
MabelShesABiotch said:
I find the wording even more disturbing given the child has a history of serious aggression/behavior issues. The fact that a three year old beat someone up at the library and his mother uses phrases like wanting to beat her child for talking might not be a total coincidence.
sorry, but no. I don't think serious behavioral issues stem from OP making a joke on an internet forum . are you really blaming her for legit medical issues?
There are legitimate genetic links with many emotional problems, anger, anxiety and depression included. It's one reason I so closely watch my own children, they have depression on both sides. Its not "blame" it's science.

not disagreeing with that.

But you're saying OP has anger issues that have been passed onto her child genetically because she's frustrated so used a poor word choice?? what a leap! who hasn't been frustrated as a parent. Being frustrated doesn't even begin to describe the emotions someone goes through parenting, especially with a SN child. Let the woman let off some steam, FFS.

ASmallWonder · February 2014

MabelShesABiotch said:

MabelShesABiotch said:
MabelShesABiotch said:
I find the wording even more disturbing given the child has a history of serious aggression/behavior issues. The fact that a three year old beat someone up at the library and his mother uses phrases like wanting to beat her child for talking might not be a total coincidence.
sorry, but no. I don't think serious behavioral issues stem from OP making a joke on an internet forum . are you really blaming her for legit medical issues?
There are legitimate genetic links with many emotional problems, anger, anxiety and depression included. It's one reason I so closely watch my own children, they have depression on both sides. Its not "blame" it's science.
not disagreeing with that.

But you're saying OP has anger issues that have been passed onto her child genetically because she's frustrated so used a poor word choice?? what a leap! who hasn't been frustrated as a parent. Being frustrated doesn't even begin to describe the emotions someone goes through parenting, especially with a SN child. Let the woman let off some steam, FFS.
OP is entitled to her frustration. You realize I am a single Mom with a special needs child and 2u2 right? My 2.5 yo has diagnosed SPD, severe speech delay, neurological delay with possible ASD. I sympathize with OPs situation. I still think it is very odd to ever say you want to beat a child. I've never thought that or heard of anyone thinking that, I don't think wanting to beat your kid is a normal sentiment. OP- have you considered counseling to help deal with the frustration and stress? Maybe that will help you to understand how you feel and further how your child feels.

Mabel, she doesn't actually want to beat her child, come on. Why are you hell bent on thinking she meant it literally? It was a word choice to express frustration - just like if I were to say "I swear to God, if my kid throw my phone in the toilet one more time, I'm going to kill him." She almost would have been better off taking the wording FURTHER.

shadypines · February 2014

((Hugs)) OP

Hope you find some answers.

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