Abnormal Anatomy Scan- HELP!

Surfvenice · February 2014

I am a first timer and completely freaking out. I am sure I am over reacting, but I am the type of person that over thinks everything.
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momof5sept18 · February 2014

I have no advice, as I haven't been through this before, but some moms on here have so hopefully they can help you out more. I'll be keeping you and your LO in my thoughts and prayers.

Read247 · February 2014

What exactly did they say? I would think if there was something abnormal they would have noticed it and discussed it with you immediately. Maybe they just needed to remeasure? Did you ask any questions? What they think it might be?

JNerd · February 2014

Hope everything turns out okay!

chaysefaith · February 2014

What did they say they thought they saw? Although I understand it's scary to think of your own child having surgery, it's not the end of the world. Take a chill pill, you've either left important details out of your OP or you're freaking out about something and you don't even know what you're freaking out about.

JmeJoLee83 · February 2014

Try not to panic (I know easier said than done). Hang in there. Keep us posted and big hugs to you!!

Abenedict2011 · February 2014

Thoughts and prayers for you this weekend until Monday. Fingers crossed all is well come Monday. Hang in there!

ahopkins0419 · February 2014

I agree with pp.. Just try and keep it together and you will be in my T&Ps

chickpea912 · February 2014

I think you received a lot of good advice here. Waiting is tough. I totally get that - I had to wait about a month and a half before receiving some huge news about this baby and whether or not we had any major chromosomal or structural defect/issues. Whether it is a few days or a month, waiting sucks, so you're going to have to try to find a way to calm down and not freak out. It is understandable to let your mind jump to the worst case scenario, but you're going to have to focus in on what the doctor actually said.

From your post, the doc said they found something "less than normal." That could be anything - a big something, or an absolute nothing. Most of the big somethings they would have seen on the original scan - they check for all sorts of things - they would have looked to see blood flow to the kidneys, they would have seen white spots, that could indicate potential problems.

What I'm saying is that you don't know what the doctor means by "less than normal." You can always call back tomorrow and see if someone can give you information, but you can absolutely make it to Monday. Try to distract yourself. Try to focus in on what you ACTUALLY know and don't borrow trouble that might not be yours to own. It's hard - believe me, I know - but you're going to have to find a way to do it.

Wishing you well - hope everything is just fine with your little one and you get some answers soon.

Mowill59 · February 2014

I agree with PPs, I would definitely call and ask what they thought was abnormal. In the meantime just try to relax. I know it can be hard especially when you feel like you are in the dark and just waiting. You will be in the my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get some answers soon.

ELC252011 · February 2014

I also agree with pp.... Maybe they just need better measurement, or different views of the kidneys. I'm sure if it was serious they wouldn't have you wait till Monday. Keep your head up and stay strong. Keep up posted. FX for a good te scan.

Surfvenice · February 2014

Thank you so much for the support. I have calmed down a lot. It is still all I can think about.

I know that I am lucky. I have amazing things in my life and I feel my baby move where others are in much worse situations. I didn't post to compare myself to the less fortunate. I needed to hear reassurance, for me. Yes, it is selfish, but If I received one positive reply, it would have been relieving. It was to ease my mind. I can only imagine what others in, maybe, worse situations are going through. It is heartbreaking. But, right now, with this new news, for my baby, I need to be selfish.

When the doctor told me- it was over the phone. I was at work. She said it was "less than normal" and other possibilities. So I asked her what the possibilities were and she said she didn't want to scare me before knowing for sure. I should have been more persistent, but I was trying not to cry at work. She said I need to come in ASAP. I have an appt March 5th. I mentioned that to her and she urged me to come in sooner. This is what out me over the edge.
Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.
I wish you all amazing pregnancies and perfect, plump, healthy babies.

Xoxo

chickpea912 · February 2014

Thank you so much for the support. I have calmed down a lot. It is still all I can think about. I know that I am lucky. I have amazing things in my life and I feel my baby move where others are in much worse situations. I didn't post to compare myself to the less fortunate. I needed to hear reassurance, for me. Yes, it is selfish, but If I received one positive reply, it would have been relieving. It was to ease my mind. I can only imagine what others in, maybe, worse situations are going through. It is heartbreaking. But, right now, with this new news, for my baby, I need to be selfish. When the doctor told me- it was over the phone. I was at work. She said it was "less than normal" and other possibilities. So I asked her what the possibilities were and she said she didn't want to scare me before knowing for sure. I should have been more persistent, but I was trying not to cry at work. She said I need to come in ASAP. I have an appt March 5th. I mentioned that to her and she urged me to come in sooner. This is what out me over the edge. Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. I wish you all amazing pregnancies and perfect, plump, healthy babies. Xoxo

Again,I hope they can get you in soon. Try to not worry until you have something to worry about!

. I have heard so many stories of frightening news and everything is 100% fine in the end. Hope that is the case for you.

Lindsleigh77 · February 2014

Try to stay calm as said in all pp's. It could be something totally manageable or resolvable or turn out to be nothing ...... I know how hard it can be to go to the worst case scenario in your mind. Thoughts and prayers everything turns our fine. Keep us updated

kibean · February 2014

I also agree with PPs. I understand that getting told something is "less than normal" is not what any parent wants to hear about their child, but what your doctor said was very vague and could mean something or nothing at this point. I hope you can take care of yourself and try to keep as relaxed as possible while you are waiting for more info. T&Ps that it is nothing serious.

kks4471 · February 2014

I'm a sonographer, and can think of a few renal problems that are not life threatening. In fact, my baby has dilated renal pelvises at 3mm each, which is so normal, I didn't even mention it on the A/S thread yesterday. I'm not worried about it at all. Like the others said, remain calm and either call you doctor today or see what they say on Monday. Good luck!

mrscbrad · February 2014

With doing birth defects research at my job everyday and being a first time mom myself I can relate to worry all too well. I can tell you though that most of the kidney abnormalities I see in my work are hydronephrosis which can be worrisome and upsetting but usually isn't a big deal. In fact most of the kidney abnormalities I see are incorrectly diagnosed prenatally and the mothers usually have normal, healthy babies. The good news for you is two-fold : the kidneys are there ( agenesis is more serious) and it's the kidneys in question not the heart, lungs or brain, all of which are much more serious. Good luck and stay calm.

Cherylwang · February 2014

At my 20 week ultrasound with my daughter I found out that she had extra fluid in her kidneys which is a soft (controversal) marker for downs. Turned out her kidneys did develop abnormally but function properly. She is a healthy happy 3 year old. My doctor told me that with the new technology with ultrasounds they see everything that they didnt see before. Things you wouldn't have known 15 years ago so sometimes I think the ability to see everything in ultrasound is not always a good thing. It just makes us nervous and stresses us out for no reason.

abastian00 · February 2014

Looks like you've gotten some great advice from some of the wonderful ladies on this board - so all I'll say is good luck! Will keep you in my thoughts! Keep us updated.

BabyCurtiss2014 · February 2014

I hope everything turns out ok! I totally get it and would be worried out of my mind just like you! It's easy for people to give advice to stay calm and not worry but I know, you can't help it! I'm the same way! People did give lots of good advice, and God willing it is going to be something minor, if nothing at all! The new technology is great but it can also cause unnecessary worry! It's hard but try to stay positive!

xo

crestedlady · February 2014

As with some of the previous posters, I can also relate as our son's anatomy scan also showed a kidney abnormality (hydronephrosis). Fortunately for us, our doctor was able to talk to us about it the same day, and was very reassuring. She mentioned that in a lot of cases, it resolves by itself, and we will have another ultrasound in the next trimester to check on it. So now we are in a wait and see mode...hopefully, everything will be normal in the next scan. Just wanted to share this to hopefully give you some reassurance as well as to reaffirm that there are at least a few of us out there going through a similar set of circumstances.

In any case, please know that I will be keeping you and your baby in my thoughts and praying that whatever abnormality your doctor saw in the anatomy scan is relatively minor and either resolves on its own or is easily correctable. Please update us as you are able.

flerlgirl · February 2014

I hope everything is okay with LO. I would also echo PP and encourage you not to borrow trouble. Things might be completely fine. If they aren't, you will learn how to deal. No baby will turn out exactly like you imagined because that's the way it goes. But you will learn to adapt to your situation, whether it is something medical or something like trying to convince LO not to play in the litter box. GL with your appointment.

SecondTimeinMSU · February 2014

When I had DS they has concerns on the ultrasound over the fluid in his brain. I spent about two months of freaking out with follow-up ultrasounds until they finally declared it was holding steady and that he was going to be fine (which he is a healthy almost 3 year old today). They just want to take every precaution so try not to drive yourself crazy until you have any certain answers. I would also try not to fixate on everything being perfect there is no such thing as a perfect person and your child won't be perfect either but that is what makes us all unique and lovable. Hopefully whatever medical concerns they have resolve themselves and he has a 100% healthy life but no matter what you will get through it together.

Just as a side note I'd probably edit out your first paragraph. The majority of people who have complications they are totally random so it could be hurtful to them that you (even unintentionally) implied that they were somehow not caring for themselves in a way that caused their problems. Good luck on your next appointment

chaysefaith · February 2014

SecondTimeinMSU said:
Just as a side note I'd probably edit out your first paragraph. The majority of people who have complications they are totally random so it could be hurtful to them that you (even unintentionally) implied that they were somehow not caring for themselves in a way that caused their problems. Good luck on your next appointment

This. So much of this.

BMaidPlanner · February 2014

SecondTimeinMSU said:
Just as a side note I'd probably edit out your first paragraph. The majority of people who have complications they are totally random so it could be hurtful to them that you (even unintentionally) implied that they were somehow not caring for themselves in a way that caused their problems. Good luck on your next appointment.

This.

Wishing you and everyone here a healthy, safe pregnancy, birth and baby but when I read your post I felt the same as above. I couldn't respond immediately or put words to what made me uncomfortable but this was it.

Surfvenice · February 2014

Thank you so much for the support. It is all so overwhelming. It truly means the world to me right now. For those in my situation, you are in my thoughts as well.
To update, I just returned from the doctor. Again, I asked one thousand questions and got vague answers. The ultra sound tech also had to hold back. I looked over his shoulders at the numbers and what he was doing. They didn't want to tell me it was better or worse than it truly is, which I understand, but it is sill driving me crazy. His kidneys are blocked up with fluid and they are sending me to a specialist. That is basically the extent of the information that I received. I asked if the numbers have changed since the last one, but he don't even get numbers on my first one! Ugh.
As for my first post, I never meant to hurt anyone. It was a post that I posted right after the news when I was so distraught and blaming myself. Just like it is none of the other mothers' faults, it's not mine either, but at that time, that is all I knew how to do, blame myself. So if I offended anyone, which I obviously have, I truly apologize. There are things in life we have no control of. My son will be perfect to me, however he comes out.
This also showed me that I should no longer post on this (except for comments that can benefit others on their posts). Maybe it was something meant for my own private journal. This backlash has truly pushed me away from this site. People love to stir up stuff, all I wanted was support. If you knew me, you would know that I am the most caring, open, accepting person, and it flusters me that I offended anyone. Thank all of you who gave me that support. I appreciate you and wish you all the best in your journeys.
(Also, I use my phone and have no idea how to tag people or see when comments are left without the computer, so I apologize for that as well).

flerlgirl · February 2014

I really thought this was a great example of how June 14 does support their own. Sorry you feel differently, OP. At any rate, best of luck to you and your LO and I hope everyone is happy and healthy in June.

MissBHaven1024 · February 2014

I'm just seeing this post and I want to say that I'm sorry you have received less than great news at yourA/S. As someone who has been told something of concern at every doc appt, I completely understand your worry. I do agree with previous posters that there is nothing you can do but wait, and I know that's hard to do, but that's all you can do. Playing the "what-if" game in your mind will only drive you crazy. I hope everything with your baby boy is okay, and hopefully the rest of your pregnancy will go smoothly!

chickpea912 · February 2014

Tdonatoni said:

@surfvenice We will be sending thoughts and prayers your way for a healthy baby with hopes that the kidneys clear up! Most ultra sound techs can't give you their thoughts on what they are seeing, they have to allow the Dr to do that. Hopefully when you meet with the specialist they will be able to answer every question. I can only imagine the anxiety. In regards to the " backlash" this board is truly supportive and they were exceptionally nice to you in their original responses. They only asked you to consider how you came across. It was all very tame. We would love to have you stick around, but if that made you uncomfortable then perhaps you are right about not posting here.

I love when someone else says exactly what I want to say - makes it so much easier for me! Thank you, @tdonatoni!

@surfvenice You and your little boy will be in my thoughts - I hope you are able to get some answers and a plan of action, and if you've decided that this isn't the best source of support for you, I hope you are able to find it elsewhere.

JNerd · February 2014

GBCB over this? Really???!? Despite many women having issues over the initial wording, this was a very, very supportive thread which could have easily gone a much snarkier route.

OP- I think I hear babygaga calling your name.

EmbracingChange · February 2014

My first kid was all perfect relaxed and chill the entire pregnancy. My second one had a heart murmur and they had to do three ultrasounds to finish up the anatomy scan because some heart chambers were hiding and they couldn't find one of his kidneys. This time same story, heart isn't showing well and they can't see parts of his brain. I'm sure he's fine though. Either I'm an unfeeling jerk or it gets easier to be patient with subsequent children. Good luck, try to relax. No one knows what to do right off the bat, you figure it out as you go.

My kid has ear infections every few weeks. He's on antibiotics pretty much constantly. It's not so bad. You learn how to deal.

Surfvenice · February 2014

Thank you. I will always support others on here, I just choose to no longer post original posts. Thank you for the kind words.

colllydon · February 2014

Sorry you feel that way OP. Good luck.

nunzchucks · February 2014

LoHerrim said:
@surfvenice, all I can say is that we all offered support, which you recognized, and told you how your wording hurt us, which you also recognized and apologized for then pretty much negated the apology by saying there was backlash and you don't feel welcome. I am a bit confused by your response.

This. I'm so lost!

ahastin1 · February 2014

OP, I'm very confused by your reaction to this thread. You got great advice from these ladies. I hope things turn out well for you and your little one-it's hard not to stress (and to not redirect that stress toward less than deserving people), but that is truly the best thing you can do. Distract yourself as you wait for news with visions of your beautiful little one and take the news step by step along with the specialists.

kibean · February 2014

I am also confused. Friends and people who support one another should be able to say how they feel as you did-but also as others did in discussing how parts of your post made them feel. That doesn't mean we support one another any less. Communication is over 90 percent nonverbal and sometimes things come across differently than how you mean them when we write rather than seeing each other face to face.

Also, this kind of back and forth could have happened in any thread, not just ones that you post on rather than start yourself.

In any case, my confusion doesn't change that I am hoping and praying for the best for you and LO. Please update us!

MrsAMB07 · February 2014

Seems a little Kels-ish, late night posting, apologizing and vowing not to do original posts, just to support and comment on others ...

MrsAMB07 · February 2014

Kels or not, OP, I hope you get reassuring news at the specialist and that all is well with your little one.

SecondTimeinMSU · February 2014

Wait I really made you stop posting? I only said something because I knew someone would eventually and they might word in a snarky way that could hurt your feelings. I was glad to see that the thread quickly died out after that since there was no need to continue on. I honestly did feel you were just coming from a place of freaking out and had no idea your words were hurtful. I thought my post was really supportive I just added a side note pointing that part out. Just because I wanted to give you a heads up doesn't mean I was supporting you any less. I really do feel bad since I understand what it is like to get scary news at at an ultrasound. You could have just reworded it to say you keep questioning if you did something wrong and we'd tell you that it is 100% not your fault and just totally a random complication.

Edit- I feel so guilty about all of this. I wanted to support everyone by saying something since I didn't want them to feel hurt but I don't like feeling like I made someone GBCB. sigh....

SchoolPsychSteph · February 2014

Yes! I thought it might have been a Kels move! I'm not on this board much anymore due to my less than perfect self, but I can't help but feel happy she doesn't want to stick around. Maybe I'm stirring the pot, but I'm getting a 'it's not me, it's you' vibe. Not J14 material if you ask me. Call me salty, but come on...

SchoolPsychSteph · February 2014

Rachel5130 said:

SchoolPsychSteph said:
Yes! I thought it might have been a Kels move! I'm not on this board much anymore due to my less than perfect self, but I can't help but feel happy she doesn't want to stick around. Maybe I'm stirring the pot, but I'm getting a 'it's not me, it's you' vibe. Not J14 material if you ask me. Call me salty, but come on...
I'm so glad Steph said this. I kept thinking, 'why is everyone asking her to stick around?' Seems like she -and we- are better off.

Hell yeah! @rachel5130 I always knew you had a good head on your shoulders.

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