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Blended Families
nurrieum
member
SS and last names
nurrieum
member
On his last time with his mom, SS told his mom his name is: first name, her last name-our last name. His last name is only his moms. Well BM brings it to us and says SS insists his Dad told him this. Well, no my DH did not and we assured her of this.
He has her name in part because she only has sisters so there wouldn't have been someone to carry on the name.
So, today we Sat, SS down and talked to him about the importance of his name. That it was picked special and while he is a part of our family, he's part of two families and it's good that he shares his moms name. He said he wants to change his name to add our name to his. We told him that that's something for when he's older but that his name is a good name. Our (indicating my husband, myself, and our son) name may be different but we're all a family.
Did I handle this okay? I don't want SS not to feel like a part of our family and have no problem with the idea that he would hyphen his name. However, that's a huge choice that I don't want to foster until he could understand that significance. Also, we want to foster him to accept himself and his name is a part of that. I feel this is a touchy issue.
He has her name in part because she only has sisters so there wouldn't have been someone to carry on the name.
So, today we Sat, SS down and talked to him about the importance of his name. That it was picked special and while he is a part of our family, he's part of two families and it's good that he shares his moms name. He said he wants to change his name to add our name to his. We told him that that's something for when he's older but that his name is a good name. Our (indicating my husband, myself, and our son) name may be different but we're all a family.
Did I handle this okay? I don't want SS not to feel like a part of our family and have no problem with the idea that he would hyphen his name. However, that's a huge choice that I don't want to foster until he could understand that significance. Also, we want to foster him to accept himself and his name is a part of that. I feel this is a touchy issue.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SS and last names
He just turned 5. I struggle with the balance of blended families. His mom has been more involved lately and it's added to confusion for him. There's been varying changes going on.
It was after this we found out SS was about to be thrown out if preschool because BM never took SS to his 4 year check up, she was a year behind because it was time for his 5 year. She lied a whole bunch about all that, I caught her in that and called her on it and we made sure SS got into his appointments.