Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
KH826
member
Re: Pregnancy Check-in
I am toeing in a bit, because we are embracing being pregnant today... even if it doesn't stick.
We are 4w6d today and the ivf.ca calculator tells me that the rocky should be getting a neural tube sometime around now. That's good. For some reason, hitting week 6 - and around the time that the rocky gets little t-rex arm buds feels very significant to me --- so my mind is focused on those little t-rex arms for now. I'm feeling anxious and emotional today mostly.
Our midwife, who is also a good friend, came over last night for food, games and to talk logistics. She has saved us a spot in her caseload already, which is good because I don't think I could stomach the idea of calling other practices while dealing with so much uncertainty. Her only real instruction was to immediately start taking 5mg of folic acid/day because the newer research is showing that larger women should be taking considerably more of it in pregnancy.
QOTW: No cravings, aside from being incredibly thirsty lately. My water intake has gone way up without me even trying, mostly because I'm just super thirsty all the time and cold water helps to settle my stomach. I have woken up in the middle of the night a couple times for snacks though, which is totally out of the ordinary for me. I'm learning to embrace that.
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,
Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.
Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>
7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013. Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.
My Love: (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012. Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.
Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos. 1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved. BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255. Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!
We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014. Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies. We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.
25w6d - EDD June 3rd.
I am uncomfy today. Didn't sleep well the last few nights, and my hips hurt from forced side sleeping (or lack of sleeping - HA!). This is likely all my own fault, so I have no right to complain. I have gained too much weight and I have not been exercising, so I deserve the hip pain. Just reporting, not complaining.
Baby also seems to have positioned herself on or right near my bladder in the last 2 days. I am noticing a major difference in the number of times I have to use the bathroom, and I feel pressure on my bladder pretty much constantly (which I didn't feel before), so I think she is hanging out there.
I have had more swelling recently too (mainly in my ankles and lower legs, and mainly at the end of the day and toward the end of the work week - Friday nights are usually rough for swelling). So far no swelling of hands or anything - so I am thankful for that.
Still feeling baby move everyday. Some days are much more active than others, which I know is normal at this stage, but I like the active days much better.
I have my next OB appointment at 3pm today. I am of course nervous to talk weight gain again. Story of my life.
QOTW: In the first tri I just wanted carbs and salty foods. Breads and crackers were the only things that seemed to quiet my nausea. I had a love affair with cheese-its and onion bagels around the holidays. I haven't had either in a while. I usually love sweets, but sweet things always seemed to make my nausea worse, so I avoided them in the first tri, and only really like slightly-to-moderately sweet things now. I would much rather have bread and pasta than cakes and cookies. Mostly I feel like I crave "dinner" -- if that makes any sense. I want real food in the form of a meal/entree, not snacks or random little things. Dinner is now my favorite meal of the day. Meat, potatoes, rice, cooked veggies, bread... those are the things that I seem to always want. With a glass of cold milk.
Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012
5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN
Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer! *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581 *********William George born June 4, 2014*********This weekend we organized some stuff in the attic, which included finding two old toy chests, a rocking horse and a receiving blanket from my/my sisters' childhood that we can use for Mr. Baby. We also finally went through the bags and boxes my SIL gave us a few years ago and realized they contained a swing, a bouncer, a Boppy, a nursing cover, a Beaba, some sort of wedge pillow for the crib (not too sure about that one), and a mei tai. Score! We moved a bookcase out of the nursery and have started organizing the baby clothes collection. We got some tips from a handy friend on wallpaper removal so my wife can start that once we get the nursery emptied out. And we finally cleaned up our office, which has been a dumping ground for the last few months. That one's not baby-related but it was satisfying!
QOTW: Cereal (many kinds, but especially sugary ones, which I try to limit) and milk; Massaman curry; saag paneer; noodles of all kinds (spaghetti, lo mein, ramen, soba, you name it); red-sauce Italian food (especially eggplant or chicken parmesan).
@Mamosey, I've been wondering about you! Glad to hear a plan is in the works.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
We'll go for our next beta on Wednesday. We could have gone today but we are feeling ok right now, so we'd rather wait a little and hopefully have a more telling beta number of Wednesday.
M texted me recently to tell me that she felt like barfing. My response was "Yay!" This is the first distinct nausea she's had (although her sense of smell and gag reflex both have been stronger for a few days).
QOTW: I have had so many pregnancy cravings. Mainly for comfort food. Also I'm not the pregnant person, so they are probably technically stress cravings rather than pregnancy cravings.
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
Today i am 14w5d...we are t-minus 6 days to the day Babykins stopped growing at 15w4d, and we found out at 16w1d...so next week will be a pretty big milestone! Oddly, though, since finding out about lil'mamaz Trisomy X, I've been way more focused on that than loss...not an ideal distraction but a distraction nonetheless!
We got home from our big trip to the south yesterday and I am pooped!! I believe may have peed in every toilet in the tri-state area, walked a zillion miles and hopefully mitigated the zillion calories of southern food. Super fun time. I also had the first semi-stranger touch my belly! Weird! But she was a youngin' who'd had some Mardi Gras drinks so all was fine...but still weird.
QOTW: I am SO grateful to be on the other side of m/s. However during it, I could not eat meat and craved citrus, water/liquids, and of course comfy carbs
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect.
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle
The good news is that you know now, you have time to digest, and make the necessary adjustments for a healthy baby and healthy mom - which is the goal. Of course, not getting the birth experience we want (or in my case, the chromosome count we want), SUCKS and we are all here to support you through your grief/sadness and adjustment time. ((hugs))
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect.
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle
Woke up last night at 3:30am and had a hard time getting back to sleep I keep thinking about all the things we need to do and it has my head spinning. I've decided I need to create a master list today and get organized.
We have an appointment with the midwife tonight which I'm looking forward to. I've had to track my foods for 4 days, I've been pretty good with the exception of eating a Costco muffin for breakfast today. ;-) Last appointment we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat with the fetal stethoscope. It was soooo cool to hear the "real heartbeat" not just the doppler echo (which I love too of course). Again with Kaden's positioning I wasn't able to last time. I love that there have been different "firsts" this time around.
QOTD: I spotted heavily at the start of this pregnancy (I thought it was my period at the time 10dpo and didn't test again until 15-16dpo because my temps were really high). Well I had been so "sure" I was pregnant, in part because in the early days of each of my 3 pregnancies I drank more water, craved spinach and eggs, and the toasted seaweed snacks they sell at TJ's. (Guess my cravings were spot on).
First Trimester I craved carbs and starchy foods and cheese. And grapes. I took grapes with me in the car because I became especially nauseous when we were driving around.
Since then I've crave more salty foods then sweet, with the exception of jelly beans, and sour gummis which I never really eat.
Go Storm!