Pregnancies: planned or unplanned?

missyishere · February 2014

I actually am often asked why we aren't having anymore kids, because I guess it's a big deal in small town America to not have all the kids? Meh

olp920 · February 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:
Oh yes, like I said passive aggressively. If I state I think we are fine with the family we have, it is inevitable that a discussion about denying your LO a sibling can be selfish in a sense WILL occur. It's some people's little way of saying they think we are selfish without actually having to say it directly to me.

So what if it is selfish of me to want to have my body and boobs to myself? I like to have time to myself, my husband and I like to party once in a while, I like not getting up at 4AM with a baby attached to my boob. How is my selfish decision so terrible, but having anther baby just cuz it would be fun to add a sibling is copacetic? Whatev.

I cherish every second of Isla being a baby. I seriously do because it was a different reality than I have now. And #2 isn't ruled out 100%, more like 95%. But for now I'm content.

People are just dumb.

I could have written this myself. People are ballsy about their opinions of others family sizes.

angelashly · February 2014

WhoCanItBeNow said:

angelashly said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

I don't think it's a big deal on TB or IRL. I just hate questions about more babies. Now that's rude.

Really depends on how it is worded. I have yet to have someone try to push us when we state we are done with one.

No one has done that yet, but they find passive aggressive ways to ask. So annoying.

Have you ever considered maybe you are the issue, not them? It seems like everyone you know is a jerk and hates you.

We get asked all the time when we are having a second one. When we say we're not we've been told it's selfish of us to not have another one, told that we must be lying. I had a friend look at me and ask how I could never want to have another one as if I was less woman than her.

It's rude because while we.are perfectly fine being 1and done. It's mostly financial reasons we aren't having one and it bothers me when someone calls it selfish I want my kid to eat instead of give her a sibling.

I'm sorry you know a lot of assholes. (And I don't mean that in a snarky way, that really does suck.)

Sad thing is it's usually family. Funniest person it came from was my aunt who never married or had a boyfriend she brought around or had any children.

Maebb · February 2014

Scromlette said:
First time we definitely were planning/trying . Sadly it resulted in a loss.

4 months later we were "not trying, not preventing." I remeber saying to H that we should stop trying for a bit and wait. 2 weeks later BFP. 《and it was wonderful!》

@Scromlette, this was us exactly, except I got pregnant the next month after the m/c. I told the OBGYN that we weren't really trying but weren't preventing, and he said, "Did you know you were having sex? Were you using protection? Did you know that unprotected sex can result in a baby? Yes? Ok, so you were trying."

aintnoyuppiemom · February 2014

Hi I am on a couple other boards so I hope anyone doesn't take offense to me jumping in here but if anyone wants I will formally intro myself if you'd like.

My DS was planned, funny thing is we talked about it and started trying and next month a BFP. I was super surprised because DH's sibling hasn't been able to have children and we thought we would have a little difficulty with the whole process.

I was asked this IRL which I took offense to but it was because of how they worded it. I am very young looking and after I swelled up my rings didn't fit so a older lady asked me if I was throwing away highschool for that (and she pointed at my stomach.) I laughed and said I was in my mid-twenties and have been married for 3 years. She just walked away after that. My mom had me in high school unplanned and she did a wonderful job all on her own I think. It is all about how you handle your situation and I think all the moms on here crave knowledge and what is best for their babies which is why they are on this site.

Also I think this post is perfectly harmless on here, one thing I love about the bump website is that no one on here seems to judge.

aintnoyuppiemom · February 2014

MrsBadKat said:

Hi I am on a couple other boards so I hope anyone doesn't take offense to me jumping in here but if anyone wants I will formally intro myself if you'd like.
My DS was planned, funny thing is we talked about it and started trying and next month a BFP. I was super surprised because DH's sibling hasn't been able to have children and we thought we would have a little difficulty with the whole process.
I was asked this IRL which I took offense to but it was because of how they worded it. I am very young looking and after I swelled up my rings didn't fit so a older lady asked me if I was throwing away highschool for that (and she pointed at my stomach.) I laughed and said I was in my mid-twenties and have been married for 3 years. She just walked away after that. My mom had me in high school unplanned and she did a wonderful job all on her own I think. It is all about how you handle your situation and I think all the moms on here crave knowledge and what is best for their babies which is why they are on this site.
Also I think this post is perfectly harmless on here, one thing I love about the bump website is that no one on here seems to judge.
I LOL'd at the last line.

Haha well I have only been on here a week or two- is there something I should know?

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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NeneCakies · February 2014

Hold up, am I the only one who was told to her face that not having more kids was a sin? They are all planned by God you know.

/MIL problems

Nita2603 · February 2014

Both were planned, number two just happened a lot faster than we thought it would.

LoveActually4 · February 2014

Our first pregnancy was unplanned, we weren't married (which was our preferred path) and Dh's divorce wasnt finalized (he had been separated for a reallllly long time). It ended in MC.

Our next 3 were planned, all ended in MC.

DS1 was obvs very planned.

Ds2 we decided to stop preventing and see what happened and found out we were pregnant 1 day later. #pullnprayfail

Unknown · February 2014

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colliebabe · February 2014

One unplanned, one planned (I only have one child though)

colliebabe · February 2014

CTGirl30 said:

pobrecita said:
I'm not offended by the are you having more questions, but I wish people would realize that is NOT small talk.
Seriously. It's often not a casual topic. Especially for the woman dealing with secondary IF or repeated losses or the one who wishes for more but circumstances aren't for in her favor or whatever reason.
People just don't get it.

This. I have to drink in social situations, otherwise everyone asks me if I'm pregnant (which is super rude too.)

ByeBabyBunting · February 2014

DS1 = planned

Unprotected sex last night = unplanned

we decided to not do plan B, so maybe in a few weeks I'll be telling you all how i'm preggers.

Spin313 · February 2014

Both planned, now we're done.

angelashly · February 2014

colliebabe said:

CTGirl30 said:

pobrecita said:
I'm not offended by the are you having more questions, but I wish people would realize that is NOT small talk.
Seriously. It's often not a casual topic. Especially for the woman dealing with secondary IF or repeated losses or the one who wishes for more but circumstances aren't for in her favor or whatever reason.
People just don't get it.
This. I have to drink in social situations, otherwise everyone asks me if I'm pregnant (which is super rude too.)

Yep and don't let me not feel well

taggiecb · February 2014

2 unplanned, one planned. I wasn't as careful as I should have been for DS1, but I definitely didn't plan on getting pregnant. DS2 was a complete fluke. DS3 was planned.

I am very frequently asked if we are trying for a girl. I find it annoying, but not offensive. I apparently live in a world where no one respects boundaries.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

People asked me in real life. I didn't care. The answer was unplanned.

I like her though, so it worked out.

It doesn't really make a difference. The reality of it is terrifying whether or not you meant to do it.

billybumbler · February 2014

DD was planned. I do find it very rude when people asked if she was a surprise because I heard it as a judgment in my life, like there's no way you actually planned this baby, your life is so messed up.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

Oh and fuck small talk Edward II style.

randomsalpal · February 2014

My first two unplanned, third planned. I do get annoyed, when people that know me ask if my older two where planned. I feel like they ask it out of spite.

Unknown · February 2014

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