Let's appreciate each other! GTKY

PennyLane26 · February 2014

I recently started a new job and it's really changed our home dynamic (for the best!). It got me thinking...

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?

What's great about your situation?

What's not so great about your situation?

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?

PennyLane26 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…) Hmm. This is a tough one. I consider myself a SAHM, but I do work from home 25 hours/week.

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? I taught first grade for 7 years. I did not want to work full time with G so I left the job and now work remotely as an editor for a large company.

What's great about your situation? I can help with finances while staying home with G.

What's not so great about your situation? My day is packed. The only time I can work is when she is sleeping so that means some pretty late nights if naps are short.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! Work out of home full time. I really don't know how those of you do it! High five. I consider it having TWO full time jobs: mom and whatever your day job is!

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? I work for the money (so hard, honey honey) and stay home for selfish reasons. I love spending my days with LO. I know it;s not for everyone, but I am THAT mom who loves going to Target every day and having baby play dates and I'm ok with it!

Cwhitaker27 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)

Working mom

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?

I work as a surgical PA. I was in the same field but working for an a**hole physician who worked crazy hours. The best thing I ever did was quit there because as soon as I did I got pregnant with DS. I'm currently working for a hospital.

What's great about your situation?

Some days I get off early

What's not so great about your
situation?

If a surgery runs long I'm in it for the long haul. I'm not always 9-5.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

Juggle both!

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?

I've always wanted to be in the healthcare field for but after having DS wish I could stay home. Now our family depends on me for our great health benefits.

JBDamonM · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…) WOHM

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?

Product manager - Insurance/Third Party Administrator. Doing the same thing before and after although starting a new job on the 10th - doing Vendor Management for a large insurance company.

What's great about your situation?

Currently - the ability to work from home. The new job will be better though b/c it'll still allow me to WFH a day or two and I'll be bonus elligible.

What's not so great about your situation? The culture where I currently work is TOXIC. It's a losing battle - every day.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! SAH Full time mom (although I could HAPPILY do it part time).

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? We need to be a two income family. I dream that someday that will change a bit, but for now it's not up for debate. I'm ok with it mostly - b/c I know that SAH Full time is not for me and I am hopeful that by working hard we can always give LO a nice home, nice clothes, and good life experiences. I also grew up with NO money. My LO doesn't need to have the best of everything and brand names etc. but I want to be able to indulge on some things for her. Something that was very rare for me growing up. And while my job is admittedly dry - I am thankful that it pays well.

Ruthie04 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)

SAHM, but I do have the opportunity to do occasional contract work.

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?

I was a social worker. I was mostly employed in child welfare, but I did work in prenatal/ postpartum services as well as housing.

What's great about your situation?

I wasn't sure if I'd be happy being a SAHM, but I LOVE it. My life is SO much less stressful than it was when I was employed and I'm so delighted the only people waking me up in the middle of the night are my children (and not someone else's kids causing a horrible emergency!) It's also so nice to not have deadlines and coworker drama. I am so lucky to have this opportunity and I try to be very thankful.

What's not so great about your situation?

I do wish we had some family support, as I have no daytime child care options. DH always has to take off for me to be able to go to the doctor, be sick...

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

I TOTALLY respect working moms. I think that kind of commitment to your children and your career is very admirable and it really ticks me off that those women don't get half the credit they deserve.

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?

In all honestly, I was a reluctant SAHM. Despite all the stress and drama, I did like being a social worker. But, when we found out we were expecting twins, there was no way I could afford to work. Daycare for two infants in our area would cost more than my take home salary. Add in my grad school loans that we are still paying off and my career would have really hurt our budget. Additionally, my schedule was so crazy, there was no way to guarantee I'd be home to pick up a child from daycare on time due to someone's behavioral/financial crisis. I have to admit, I like being at home with my boys and I think there is definitely a more mushy component to things now. I was in daycare and strongly believe in the benefits of a child care environment, but I now can see the positive side to being at home.

itsmevkb · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)

I'm a working mother, but aren't all mothers (and fathers for that matter?)

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?

I work for the federal courts and still do.

What's great about your situation?

I love my job, it's always interesting and the hours are decent as is the pay.

What's not so great about your situation?

I guess there could always be more flexibility, more money, more harmony.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

I don't know, I feel I could make just about any situation work. I hear a lot of women say they could NEVER stay at home or they could never work but I know I could stay at home and that I'd enjoy it, I just enjoy working and don't want to leave my career. I guess what I couldn't do is work from home with my kids being home.

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?

I work because I love my job and because in my career I couldn't just drop out for a few years and get back into it. I also love our family dynamic of my kids getting to spend more time with their dad than most children get to and I love that they see their parents working jobs that they love and I hope the same for them.

@richzep - I'm confused - are you saying that if you didn't stay home someone else would be raising your son?

luvboston · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)

WAHM until Aprilish

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?Worked in the Justice System, not even close

What's great about your situation?

Love spending most of the day with LO

What's not so great about your situation?

Money Money and Benefits

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

Work Full Time-more than 40 hrs

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? Money

jessica_gail2 · February 2014

PennyLane26 said:

I recently started a new job and it's really changed our home dynamic (for the best!). It got me thinking...

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)
I'm a working mom in the office.

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?
I work for an independent insurance agency in business development, and I do still have the same position.

What's great about your situation?
Where I work is very family oriented. It's helpful.

What's not so great about your situation?
It's a newish position so I'm having to plow a lot of new ground. It is fun in some ways and scary in others.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!
I could never SAH full time. I love my sweet baby, but I'm a better mommy by being away from her some.

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?
A little of all those. We're used to our lifestyle, and need the money to keep it up. I also want to succeed in life, and part of success in my view is having a good career.

@PennyLane26 How's your new job going??

mnj05 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)
I'm a working mom, outside of the home 100% of the time (except for weekend/weeknight grading).

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?
I was and still am a teacher! I switched districts after H was born to be closer to him and to get into a better district.

What's great about your situation?

I get to do what I love and have adult conversation times, but I also get the summer (between professional developments and planning days) to spend with H and get quality time in.

What's not so great about your situation?
I don't really think I have a not so great scenario for my situation, other than from my work standpoint, not the new parent side.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

I also think I can see myself doing any of these. I'm doing well as a working full time mom and I know I could handle staying home all day (although the bank account can't!).

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?
I absolutely love what I do, as frustrating as it all can be, it's so fun to watch my kids grow and learn. That said, we also can't live off of DH's income and try to save for another IVF at the same time. We could make it work if we weren't saving money, it'd just be tight.

trigirl79 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…) SAHM but starting up a part time WAH gig Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? I was a public health nurse but left before I got P so I could finish my Masters degree - which I did about 2 months before she arrived! What's great about your situation? Flexibility, not missing little moments, not having to shower and get dressed and get out of the house by X time very morning, getting workouts in during the day. H is full time WAH (except he also travels a lot) and has a super flexible job so we can take walks, have lunch as a family, etc some days which is nice What's not so great about your situation? I miss "me" time and am still finding a balance. Some days I feel like I want to work, but now starting IF again I don't. Hopefully my new work will allow me to use my degree a bit (in a non traditional way), use my brain, do something I enjoy and make a bit of money. Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! Work out of the home full time. I feel like I would be constantly commuting, juggling, and be super stressed. But I am also jealous of those that do and some days miss the fulfillment of being at work. Hats off to you! Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? Self fulfillment and money for the work part. I'm a SAHM because it's best for our family right now. Some days are better than others but I feel like I am finally getting into a groove and enjoying it more,

Mayzie15 · February 2014

PennyLane26 said:
I recently started a new job and it's really changed our home dynamic (for the best!). It got me thinking...

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…). I work full time outside of the home

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Accounting supervisor for a large law firm. Are you currently doing the same thing? Yes

What's great about your situation? The money and benefits are good. I have some flexibility but wish I had more since I've been there 14 years.

What's not so great about your situation? Spending time away from DS. I still cry every Sunday night and can't wait for Friday

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! I'm not sure about this one

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? money I guess. I've questioned this a lot since I've gone back from maternity leave.

efhoping2010 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…) WAHM

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? I was a law librarian for a legal publishing company before now I am a research attorney for a brokerage.

What's great about your situation? I work from home 100% and get to be with the twinlets.

What's not so great about your situation? Since I work at home I am expected to work/bill six days a week and also be reachable 24/7 even on holidays. Plus I am independent contractor so no benefits, no vacation, no stability, blah.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! I do not think I could work away from home again, I really admire those that do.

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? Ha ha I need Money in order to pay for all of these IVF's blah. If I did not have to deal with IVF and the OOP costs then I might have gone a different direction with my career or not worked at all when the twins were young.

kmc84 · February 2014

How would you label yourself?

SAHM

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work?

RN in a hospital (med/surg/vents/hospice)

What's great about your situation?

I love being home with A! I love that dh's job has great benefits so that I can stay home. While it is tough, I find it very rewarding to be home with her.

What's not so great about your situation?

Some days I feel a little isolated. There are no groups around appropriate for a baby A's age. I try and get out to visit my two good friends (who also have kids) and to get out to visit my second 'mom' once per week. When the weather is crappy and cold, some days just suck

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

I give full time working mommas SOOOOOO much credit! I think it's got to be so hard to balance both a FT job and being a patent too!

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?

Family dynamic I suppose. My mom was a SAHM and looking back, I'm so happy that's how it was for me growing up. DH and I both wanted me to stay home and not have to hunt down daycare. We live in a rural area, good daycare is tricky to find!

(Our original plan was to have me go back to work part time and my mom would watch the baby. My mom died unexpectedly during our IF treatments, so being home with A was a little plan change. Some days are so bittersweet when A does something and I feel like my mom should have been the one to teach her that it to see it for the first time

)

Eve_Angelique · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)

Working Mom

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing?

Was and still am a pharmacy technician, but going back to school to be a PA

What's great about your situation?

DH is home with LO full time (due to a layoff), I love that they get good bonding time

What's not so great about your situation?

My salary alone is not enough to pay the bills - big problem!

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can!

I could never....I dunno! I haven't been a solely SAHM - when DH was working I still worked like 20 hours a week. I liked having something to do away from home for a bit. I think I might like being home all the time, but I also currently am super driven to go back to school and become the breadwinner!

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?

I love my job in the pharmacy, I love building relationships with repeat guests and getting to know them a bit. I love the store I work at, been there for 14 years.

Millie1984 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…) I consider myself to be a SAHM, although I do work from home 3 afternoons a week for a couple hours teaching piano lessons.

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? I taught piano then too, but I traveled to my students homes and had more students. I have scaled back since then purposely, so I have as much time at home with LO as possible...

What's great about your situation? Its very flexible and its something I enjoy.

What's not so great about your situation? Kids that come into my house and bring their germs with them (its inevitable. I just try to use purell and lysol as much as possible).

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! I would have a hard time working full time.

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? I enjoy it, and it does give me fulfillment, but It is also nice to have the extra money coming in.

ccam · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…) WOHM

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? I was and still am an accountant for the State.

What's great about your situation? I work with really great people and my boss is literally the nicest guy ever. And I make good money.

What's not so great about your situation? My job is super boring. The thought of doing this the rest of my life is pretty depressing. Oh, and the commute sucks.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! I could never SAH full time. I could definitely do it for a few years, while DS is young and hopefully we have #2. But in a perfect world, I would have a part time job that I love going to every morning which would still leave me plenty of time with my kid(s).

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? The money. I'm the bread winner and we need 2 incomes. I also carry the insurance (without it we may never have had DS) and a great retirement plan.

kbeach82 · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…)Part-time SAHM, Part-time WOHM. I work Mon, Wed, Fri and stay home with the kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? I have been with my company for almost 8 years now and have worked in several different capacities, but most recently on the finance and PMO side.

What's great about your situation? I have a pretty good work/home life balance right now. I really look forward to office days so I get a break from the kids, and in turn that break helps me to appreciate them more on my days off. I am definitely a better mommy thanks to my work situation. I am also very fortunate that my employer allows me to work part time and still be eligible for benefits.

What's not so great about your situation? Although I have health insurance through my company, I am an hourly employee. I don't receive any paid vacation, sick, or holiday pay. I work 30 hours a week - (3) 10 hour days, and it's definitely exhausting juggling working and the kids at times.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! I could never SAH full time. I loved being at home with DS1 (I took 8 months off after I had him), but it is a whole different ball game with an almost 3 year old and infant twins. Hats off to you ladies with multiple LOs that SAH! I can definitely see myself being more satisfied doing that when they're older, but I am 100% sure I couldn't do it FT right now.

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)? The money (we live in a high cost of living area and we need the income), as well as self fulfillment. I get great satisfaction out of doing my job well. Our insurance is also through my company.

JBDamonM · February 2014

@ccam - I had no idea you worked for the state. Let me just say I am SUPER jealous of your benefits. DH had state employment benefits when we were dating (of course not at a time I could enjoy them You in Hartford?

@kmc84 - Hugs. I know it's been a little bit but I'm sorry about your mom. Losing a parent is so hard. We lost DH's dad the night we got the MFI DX. It's ironic though b/c LO looks just like him!!!!!!

kmc84 · February 2014

@JBDamonM

Thanks

I'm doing ok with it. Some times things happen that just kick you in the gut out of nowhere and it makes the loss so fresh again. I'm sure you and your dh get that too.

JBDamonM · February 2014

kmc84 said:

@JBDamonM Thanks I'm doing ok with it. Some times things happen that just kick you in the gut out of nowhere and it makes the loss so fresh again. I'm sure you and your dh get that too.

Totally. We're actually coming up on the 2 year anniversary of his dad next week..... It is still very fresh....Although his dad was not well, he died one night in his sleep with no real signs of anything leading up to it....It came as such a shock and I admitedly didn't appreciate how difficult it would be to lose a parent until going thruogh it with him. Sucks

kmc84 · February 2014

((Hugs)) it really does suck

ccam · February 2014

@JBDamonM Yes, I do! The insurance is really amazing, we are so luck to have it, especially going through IF. I don't know where we would be right now without it!! DH proposed to me a month after getting my State job, everyone was convinced that he did it for the benefits

JBDamonM · February 2014

@CCAM - hahah! My new job is in Hartford as well - we're going to be work neighbors

ccam · February 2014

Oh nice @JBDamonM! Maybe lunch someday!

mcgeeva · February 2014

How would you label yourself? (SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, I don't believe in labels…) WOHM

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? Same job..Senior IP Docketing Specialist

What's great about your situation? Eh..have vacation leave, like the work I do and it pays the bills. That's about it!

What's not so great about your situation? No flexability, expected to be here no matter what due to the amount of foreign work we have. And the fact no one cares about our homes lives.

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! SAH full time but I do really appreciate those who do it. So physically demanding. My ideal world...working part time. That I could do. But kuddos to those of you ladies doing it!

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?
We need both incomes to afford where we live, NOVA is super expensive and DH is no baller. I also do enjoy being at work but wish I had more then two hours a night with DS. Thank you 3 hour commute!

JBDamonM · February 2014

ccam said:

Oh nice @JBDamonM! Maybe lunch someday!

Absolutely! As soon as I am settled in

imoverit · February 2014

How would you label yourself? Part time working mom

Before LO(s) entered the picture, what did you do for work? Are you currently doing the same thing? Im a school psych

What's great about your situation? Being part time gives me achance to be me and a mom

What's not so great about your situation? My job is super stressful

Finish this sentence: I could never (SAH full time, Work full time, juggle both, etc.) and I admire moms that can! Work full time again

Why do you do what you do (money, self fulfillment, family dynamic, etc.)?
I actually like my job minus the stress. The money helps too.

imoverit · February 2014

Hugs @kmc. How incredibly painful it must be not having your mom around. My BFF lost her mom and stepdad within a month of each other almost two years ago. She is about to have her first baby and its been hard for her knowing that her mom will not be able to experience this joy.

kmc84 · February 2014

Thank you @imoverit
Hugs to your friend! It is such an emotional roller coaster. I did a lot of crying in the shower after A was born. My mom and her looooong time significant other (boyfriend) died 3 weeks apart

life is brutal sometimes!

trigirl79 · February 2014

@mcgeeva - you live in NOVA? me too!!!! I'm in Ashburn. any other NOVA ladies on the board?

mcgeeva · February 2014

trigirl79 yep I do!! I have some friends that love in ashburn as well in and around brambelton

trigirl79 · February 2014

Small world!

Ruthie04 · February 2014

trigirl79 said:
@mcgeeva - you live in NOVA? me too!!!! I'm in Ashburn. any other NOVA ladies on the board?

I'm in West PWC

.

mcgeeva · February 2014

Trigirl79 the real question is where did you go for treatments? Ruthie and I apparently both went to the same shady grove in Fairoaks

trigirl79 · February 2014

Shady Grove here too! We primarily go to Landsdowne/Leesburg but I think I went to Annandale a couple times.

mcgeeva · February 2014

Wow that's so crZy! I've been to the Annandale office many times too since it's next to work. Miracle workers

trigirl79 · February 2014

Oh wow! I do love the SGF folks, as much as you can say that in this situation

mcgeeva · February 2014

Exactly

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