Trial nanny: brought her BF's kid and how to pay her

TheBorg7of9 · February 2014

Our neighbors have a fulltime nanny for their 8 month old baby. We are thinking of doing a nanny share with them, which would include their baby, our 2 year old and our 4 month old. I am currently on maternity leave and our temporary nanny has only two more weeks with us. I go back to work at the end of April. We have some doubts about the neighbors nanny (who has only worked for them for 2 months. Apparently, she brought her boyfriend's 5-year-old to work today with no notice. We will probably interview other nannies to do the nanny share and replace the neighbor's nanny. They agree, but would like to keep their nanny on the table even though she made that mistake. They say it concerned them, but they have talked to her about it. Anyway, I was thinking of having the nanny come over to help me out with the 2-year old once a week, so that I can chill with the newborn. She is currently paid 11.50 an hour for one baby. We were planning to pay two dollars more for each kid. I only want 5 hours once a week to give me a break from the toddler. How would you pay the nanny in this situation. It seems weird to pay only $10extra (5 hours at $2 extra an hour) for her to come to our house for 5 hours, but we don't want to set a precedent for her to get paid a lot more than we are planning to pay in a permanent situation. Also, do you think bringing her kid was way out of line and a sign of her general non-professional attitude or an honest mistake? How would you handle interviewing other nannies, while the neighbor is still keeping current nanny until I go back to work? Thanks for reading!

VOR · February 2014

I would chalk it up to an honest mistake, for now. Is there ANYTHING else that makes you question her? If this is the only thing, it seems pretty knee-jerk to decide to fire her over it.

jf198400 · February 2014

I would need more information on why she brought the 5yr old with her without notice. Was there a school snow day or something? Did she seem apologetic about it? Did they discuss guidelines with her for the future? If there was some reason why she had to watch the 5yr old, I'd prefer she bring her along rather than calling out sick at the last minute. I definitely wouldn't fire her over this one time thing,

*sparky* · February 2014

I would at least try her out before you make the call. And pay her incrementally based on what her arrangement will be once you are nanny-sharing.

No harm in looking for other nannies at the same time, if everyone is unsure about her.

As far as how to handle interviewing other nannies, just do it during the hours when the current nanny is not there.

TheBorg7of9 · February 2014

jf198400 said:

I would need more information on why she brought the 5yr old with her without notice. Was there a school snow day or something? Did she seem apologetic about it? Did they discuss guidelines with her for the future? If there was some reason why she had to watch the 5yr old, I'd prefer she bring her along rather than calling out sick at the last minute. I definitely wouldn't fire her over this one time thing,

Apparently she was very apologetic. The boyfriend had to work at the last minute and the child had no school that day. I do feel better knowing that the nanny understands that it was not cool to show up with the other kid
Thanks for the input everyone. I hope she is not offended by the offer to watch our 2 year old DS for 5 hours and only earn $10 more...

Iblamethebeer · February 2014

The 5 year old thing wouldn't bother me at all, as long as it was a last minute emergency and didn't become a habit.

As far as payment, I would probably offer her $20 as the "second family" rate, even though I know she won't really be watching the baby.

VOR · February 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:

I hope she is not offended by the offer to watch our 2 year old DS for 5 hours and only earn $10 more...

I went back and read your post a little more.

This, above, is she coming to your house AFTER she's done w/ the other family and will be watching only your child? From now until the share officially starts?

If so, you need to pay her her full rate. Not $2/hr. There shouldn't be confusion - If you all agree upon the full rate (15.50 if I read your post correctly) for when the SHARE starts, then say "but between now and then, I'd like for you to come to my house for an extra 5 hours at your standard rate of 11.50", it should be clear that you'll pay her at 11.50 for 5 hours then when the share starts, she'll be getting 15.50 when it's all 3 kids.

You're talking about professionalism here but you seem to want to WAY underpay her. That doesn't strike me as professional on your part.

TheBorg7of9 · February 2014

VOR said:

TheBorg7of9 said:

I hope she is not offended by the offer to watch our 2 year old DS for 5 hours and only earn $10 more...

I went back and read your post a little more.

This, above, is she coming to your house AFTER she's done w/ the other family and will be watching only your child? From now until the share officially starts?

If so, you need to pay her her full rate. Not $2/hr. There shouldn't be confusion - If you all agree upon the full rate (15.50 if I read your post correctly) for when the SHARE starts, then say "but between now and then, I'd like for you to come to my house for an extra 5 hours at your standard rate of 11.50", it should be clear that you'll pay her at 11.50 for 5 hours then when the share starts, she'll be getting 15.50 when it's all 3 kids.

No. I am saying it would be $2 an hour more. Not $2 total. She would get $11.50 an hour when it's one kid, $13.50 an hour for 2 kids and $15.50 an hour for three kids. I was concerned that since it was for such a short time (5 hours), that it wouldn't really amount to much.
And it would be during the same time she watches the neighbor's kid. My neighbor is planning on bringing her baby over to our house for the nanny to watch the kids. Anyway, I decided to offer her 10 hours a week at the 15.50 rate. That way she could be available to watch all three kids. But I would probably watch our new baby in the basement or our bedroom while she watches our 2 year old and the neighbor's baby. But if I wanted to run an errand or something she could watch all three kids.

tracyann789 · February 2014

I have a question while reading this (I am not up to date on nanny shares, so please bear with me) but I thought that part of the benefit was each family paid a reduced rate- am I wrong? So, if she is bringing the neighbors baby to your house, shouldn't your neighbor be paying less- she isn't getting a nanny to only watch her child anymore- right? So if the increase is only $2 per child more per hour, shouldn't you and the neighbor be paying $6.75 each per hour? I could be totally off base, but thought I would ask- since I really don't understand all of this (my son is in daycare, and we don't have the opportunity for a nanny share at this point).

ebp913 · February 2014

tracyann789 said:

I have a question while reading this (I am not up to date on nanny shares, so please bear with me) but I thought that part of the benefit was each family paid a reduced rate- am I wrong? So, if she is bringing the neighbors baby to your house, shouldn't your neighbor be paying less- she isn't getting a nanny to only watch her child anymore- right? So if the increase is only $2 per child more per hour, shouldn't you and the neighbor be paying $6.75 each per hour? I could be totally off base, but thought I would ask- since I really don't understand all of this (my son is in daycare, and we don't have the opportunity for a nanny share at this point).

I agree that the total price you all agree upon should be split between the number of children per family. You have 2 kids so you pay 2/3 of the price. The other family with 1 child pays 1/3. That's what we did when we shared a nanny and it seemed like the only fair way.

DiveFrog · February 2014

ebp913 said:

tracyann789 said:

I have a question while reading this (I am not up to date on nanny shares, so please bear with me) but I thought that part of the benefit was each family paid a reduced rate- am I wrong? So, if she is bringing the neighbors baby to your house, shouldn't your neighbor be paying less- she isn't getting a nanny to only watch her child anymore- right? So if the increase is only $2 per child more per hour, shouldn't you and the neighbor be paying $6.75 each per hour? I could be totally off base, but thought I would ask- since I really don't understand all of this (my son is in daycare, and we don't have the opportunity for a nanny share at this point).

I agree that the total price you all agree upon should be split between the number of children per family. You have 2 kids so you pay 2/3 of the price. The other family with 1 child pays 1/3. That's what we did when we shared a nanny and it seemed like the only fair way.

I'm not sure I agree. I think it should be split obviously, but not necessarily based on #of kids. I think age of children, which house they are watched at, and total number of hours needed plays into overall cost. Having people in your house all day increases utility bills. And infants and younger toddlers take more work and attention then older toddlers/preschoolers. If one family needs her full-time (40-50hrs/week) and the other only part-time(less than 40) that could also affect the cost split, as could which family is going to be responsible for her payroll/taxes/paperwork. So it may work out to be 2/3, 1/3 or 60/40, or 50/50. It can be structured many different ways as long as all parties involved are happy with the situation

fitmom82 · February 2014

I think your offer of an extra $4/hour is fairer than the $2. Something to think about too, if you need to be home because one of your kids is sick, or the neighbor's baby is sick, does the rate drop by $2/hour for that day?

When I originally read your post I also wondered why you would only pay for 1 kid because I didn't see you hiding out in your own house with the other one, but apparently that is what you're thinking of. You really think your 2 year old is going to go along with that? Maybe you have a really big house you can hide in, but I know I'd never get away with that in my house. Plus, how long do you think you'll be able to spend in a room with a baby? Why not bring the 2 year old to your neighbor's house. Atleast that way you can do things around the house.

TheBorg7of9 · February 2014

fitmom82 said:
I think your offer of an extra $4/hour is fairer than the $2. Something to think about too, if you need to be home because one of your kids is sick, or the neighbor's baby is sick, does the rate drop by $2/hour for that day?
When I originally read your post I also wondered why you would only pay for 1 kid because I didn't see you hiding out in your own house with the other one, but apparently that is what you're thinking of. You really think your 2 year old is going to go along with that? Maybe you have a really big house you can hide in, but I know I'd never get away with that in my house. Plus, how long do you think you'll be able to spend in a room with a baby? Why not bring the 2 year old to your neighbor's house. Atleast that way you can do things around the house.

Yes. I already Hide out in the house with my temporary nanny. She wakes up the toddler in the morning and I don't even see him. They play in the living room, and I stay upstairs in the bedroom or nursey. Sometimes i come downstairs and hang out with them and then i go to the basement with just DS 2. Sometimes I have the nanny watch the little baby so I can focus on the toddler.
We do have a big house with three levels so it's not that hard. We would rather the nanny share be at our house Because we have all the toddler toys and a big childproof area.

Regarding the nanny share, we decided to divide the price by number of children. So my husband and I pay two thirds of the cost and the neighbors will pay one third of the cost. The two dollar and four dollar thing I was talking about was just from the nanny's perspective.
ETA more words

TheBorg7of9 · February 2014

Someone also asked if our rate would drop because a kid was sick or something.
The answer is no. The nanny will be paid a weekly rate based on an average week. We are not going to recalculate every week based on how long exactly she watches each number of kids. She will also get paid time off and sick days and holidays.

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