So not only do I have the loss of my daughter Elika-Rayne, I found out last night the baby I have been carrying no longer has a heartbeat and has probably been dead since about 14 weeks, I am now 18 weeks...why does this keep happening to me? Am I such a bad person that my babies have to be the ones that suffer? I hate my life....God I wish it would just end, I am so tired of this and tired of people telling me it happens for a reason! What possible reason could there be for a little baby that never hurt anyone dying! I wish it had been me instead, I wish I could die with my little ones...I'm just so tired.
I am so sorry for your loss and I am sorry you are feeling this way, its horrible and no one should have tho go through it. It was not your fault, please don't blame yourself. Stay strong..
I'm so sorry you're going through this again. Do you have a support network around you? I know things are absolutely terrible right now, but I really implore you to seek help if you start considering anything drastic. This number (1-800-273-8255) is a 24 hour help line if you need it.
I am so so sorry for your losses. I hope you know deep down that none of this is your fault, and you didn't bring this upon yourself. You and your babies are not being punished for anything you did or did not do. I am thinking about you, and hoping for comfort and healing
TTC since 2008 Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion. 4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary. 6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN, 1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP. Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection. 2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
I am so, so sorry for your loss. The pain you are experiencing must be monumental. You have found a very supportive place filled with wonderful women who understand what you're going through. Lots of hugs your way.
This is just terrible news. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this again - it's so unfair! You didn't do anything wrong. I would just feel like giving up too, but please stay strong!
first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy It's a girl!Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!
I'm so sorry My heart breaks for you. None of this is your fault- it's no one's fault. Life just sucks sometimes. I hope you have people to lean on. Xo
Re: New loss to deal with
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
We love and miss you Timothy
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014
Married August 20th, 2005 to the love of my life.
1st BFP August 6th, 2010. Missed MC discovered at 13 weeks.
2nd BFP January 5th, 2011. Beautiful Harper born September 28th, 2011.
3rd BFP March 15th, 2013. Treated with methotrexate for ectopic pg at 7 weeks.
4th BFP August 2nd, 2013. Sweet Micah born sleeping at 21 weeks with full T13. 5th BFP July 1st, 2014. Praying for a healthy, full term rainbow!
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
Ava's Story
BFP#2 10/18/13 Blighted ovum 11/25/13
BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
This is just terrible news. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this again - it's so unfair! You didn't do anything wrong. I would just feel like giving up too, but please stay strong!
first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!