Late Term and Child Loss

New loss to deal with

So not only do I have the loss of my daughter Elika-Rayne, I found out last night the baby I have been carrying no longer has a heartbeat and has probably been dead since about 14 weeks, I am now 18 weeks...why does this keep happening to me? Am I such a bad person that my babies have to be the ones that suffer? I hate my life....God I wish it would just end, I am so tired of this and tired of people telling me it happens for a reason! What possible reason could there be for a little baby that never hurt anyone dying! I wish it had been me instead, I wish I could die with my little ones...I'm just so tired.

Re: New loss to deal with

  • I am so sorry for your loss and I am sorry you are feeling this way, its horrible and no one should have tho go through it. It was not your fault, please don't blame yourself. Stay strong..
  • ((Hugs)) I'm so sorry.

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

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  • I am so sorry. It is just not fair.
  • ***siggy warning*** 

    I am so very sorry.
    Lilypie - (qptF)


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."


  • I'm so so very sorry :(

    Married August 20th, 2005 to the love of my life.

    1st BFP August 6th, 2010. Missed MC discovered at 13 weeks. 

    2nd BFP January 5th, 2011. Beautiful Harper born September 28th, 2011.

    3rd BFP March 15th, 2013. Treated with methotrexate for ectopic pg at 7 weeks.

    4th BFP August 2nd, 2013. Sweet Micah born sleeping at 21 weeks with full T13. 5th BFP July 1st, 2014. Praying for a healthy, full term rainbow!

  • **siggy warning**


    I'm so sorry you're going through this again.  Do you have a support network around you?  I know things are absolutely terrible right now, but I really implore you to seek help if you start considering anything drastic.  This number (1-800-273-8255) is a 24 hour help line if you need it.  
    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Oh no, I'm so sorry for your loss. Many hugs.
    Ticker id: ra2f

    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

  • I'm so sorry. I wish we could find the answers to why these terrible things happen. You're in my thought and prayers. Stay strong, mama.
  • Thanks ladies. I'm Sorry I got kinda emo there, it's just been a bad last couple of days.
  • I am so very sorry. 

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     
  • I am so so sorry for your losses.  I hope you know deep down that none of this is your fault, and you didn't bring this upon yourself.  You and your babies are not being punished for anything you did or did not do.  I am thinking about you, and hoping for comfort and healing <3
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Anniversary

    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


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  • I am so, so sorry for your loss. The pain you are experiencing must be monumental. You have found a very supportive place filled with wonderful women who understand what you're going through. Lots of hugs your way.

    Ava's Story
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP#2 10/18/13  Blighted ovum 11/25/13

    BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • I am so, so sorry sweetie. Life isn't fair

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic   image image

        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • mmsweeney1mmsweeney1 member
    edited February 2014
    * ticker warning *


    This is just terrible news. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this again - it's so unfair!  You didn't do anything wrong. I would just feel like giving up too, but please stay strong!

    first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
    It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!

     
  • I am so so sorry for your loss and please know you are in no way responsible or being punished for something! So many ((hugs)).
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • I'm so sorry :(
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers



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  • I'm so sorry :( My heart breaks for you. None of this is your fault- it's no one's fault. Life just sucks sometimes. I hope you have people to lean on. Xo
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