How have you all been dealing with people's unsolicited advice or comments? Especially the "oh you'll see, you will change your mind when the baby comes" comments! Passive aggressiveness, straight up "mind your own business", "thank you, I will take that into consideration!"?
I can only be so polite before I lose my shit, and I feel myself getting angrier and losing my cool with each passing comment, what is it that people don't get, humans were not all created to think/feel the same way, we don't all value the same things!
Rant over!
Re: How have you been dealing?
Edited: one of the gifs didn't work.
DS: 11/8/11 | 9 lb 7 oz, 22 in
DD: 5/22/14 | 9 lb 9 oz, 21.5 in
Them: Oh is this your first? (spooling up to make all sorts of comments)
Me: Nope, third.
Them:...Oh!
Sometimes you'll even get a compliment like "You don't look old enough to have 3 kids."
But yeah, when I was a FTM I just listened to all of the advice and filed it away for later. Sometimes it was incredibly useful, sometimes not. But I still try to retain that repository because every kid is different and what worked for the last one might not for this one.
DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
2013: IVF#3/FET#4 Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014
Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
Dum spiro, spero.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
It's the unsolicited comments like, "WOW! you sure there aren't 2 in there?!" or "Looks like you're carrying a BIG baby!" that I have a hard time with. But those comments typically come from old people, so i assume they're senile or blind and then go home and cry to DH over some ice cream.
I don't think people mean it maliciously, but I HATE that people want to burst my bubble of optimism. Yes breast feeding, cloth diapering (etc) might be hard but going into it with a negative "well it may or may not work out" attitude sure isn't going to get me through those long nights. Let me keep my happy optimism please and thank you!
My close friends who have 2 plus kids of their own are great about giving advice that doesn't demean. For example, don't buy too much toys right away - go to a friends house who has it and see if your baby likes it before shelling out the money for it. Freeze meals ahead of time, you might not need them but you will love yourself for having them prepared if you do need them.
I have a friend who just became a mother last November - she is constantly telling me that I will never baby wear, use my little baby bathrub, or put my baby on a schedule. Lady! First, babies are all different! Maybe I won't be able to baby wear as much as I would like or maybe I will! I will have to do my best to set baby on a routine because DH and I both work full time jobs.
Aaaah.. venting feels good...
That One Gal From Alaska
BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14
Honestly, I had years of deflecting questions like "When are you going to start having babies?" while we were struggling with IF, and I've built up a pretty tough skin for stupid and insensitive comments, questions, and suggestions.
Dude, I creepy internet stranger love you. I agree on the shots and leaving LO - not going to make me cry.
Edited: b/c I am too sensitive