Comical

sebullows · February 2014

salbert610 said:
Kind posts are certainly welcomed and encouraged, that goes without saying.
The bump is an opportunity for people to support one another going through pregnancy. While I would hope that everyone has shown their support, im not discussing your support, quite the opposite.

It's clear that there have been a plethora of non supportive comments and the comments tend to come from the same group of people. This is solely the cohort that I'm referring to in this discussion. Your consistent complaints about repetitive and stupid questions are just that, repetitive and stupid. It's really just mucking up the discussion boards. Im not clicking on a discussion to see cackling and bickering, I'm clicking on a discussion because I found the subject interesting and want to learn more or support someone.

I usually don't say a whole lot on these type threads but this just really got to me. Where was your support through the GD, HBP, preemies, pre-e, endless reasons for bed rest, heart problems, random trips to L&D for falls and other major problems? You just came out of nowhere, demanded support, and called us all bitches. Very hypocritical. I have not been around nearly as long as some of these women, so it's hardly a shock that your post would significantly piss them off. This board is exactly what you are wanting it to be, a place for us to support each other. I'm sorry that you haven't taken the time to get to know anyone before making all of your fancy word assumptions. A quick intro and some involvement can get you a long way, trust me. *irritated*

sebullows · February 2014

Oops. I basically just repeated @LW78. Took me a while to mobile type all that.

salbert610 · February 2014

Dirty lurkers....those are your own words. I am using your own lingo of a lurker to describe the habit of attacking discussions that you find unworthy. Someone innocently posts a discussion only to be flamed if the clique decides it's a bad discussion.

amdecker1016 · February 2014

Thats because they do not use this handy dandy sticky post

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12151957/faqs

AriaAmante143 · February 2014

sebullows said:

Kind posts are certainly welcomed and encouraged, that goes without saying. The bump is an opportunity for people to support one another going through pregnancy. While I would hope that everyone has shown their support, im not discussing your support, quite the opposite. It's clear that there have been a plethora of non supportive comments and the comments tend to come from the same group of people. This is solely the cohort that I'm referring to in this discussion. Your consistent complaints about repetitive and stupid questions are just that, repetitive and stupid. It's really just mucking up the discussion boards. Im not clicking on a discussion to see cackling and bickering, I'm clicking on a discussion because I found the subject interesting and want to learn more or support someone.
I usually don't say a whole lot on these type threads but this just really got to me. Where was your support through the GD, HBP, preemies, pre-e, endless reasons for bed rest, heart problems, random trips to L&D for falls and other major problems? You just came out of nowhere, demanded support, and called us all bitches. Very hypocritical. I have not been around nearly as long as some of these women, so it's hardly a shock that your post would significantly piss them off. This board is exactly what you are wanting it to be, a place for us to support each other. I'm sorry that you haven't taken the time to get to know anyone before making all of your fancy word assumptions. A quick intro and some involvement can get you a long way, trust me. *irritated*

I read this and then went and checked OPs post history. OP, there were no replies from you offering supportm or even congratulations to anyone, ever. Maybe you should join the Mean Girls FB group?

rockopera · February 2014

Helpful posts are fantastic? I'm sure they are for you as a lurker. Your 60 posts in 5 months (with half of them back in August) do not make you a contributor to this board. Tell us how we should take any direction from you on how the board should run? How we should take your opinion into consideration?

Sorry you don't like it. But your suggestion that we go away or stop posting is laughable. You would never pick up the slack, and then no one would post anything but super helpful mucus plug and dilation posts for you to read.

boymom312 · February 2014

salbert610 said:
So predictable, each one of your replies. This, this is what's so comical. I'm sorry I haven't stroked your ego personally, I thought I was clear that I'm not referring to your helpful posts; I think helpful posts are fantastic.

Ok, so let me get this straight. Helpful posts are fantastic, yet this clique you refer to has offered up way more helpful/supportive posts than snark over the last 8-9 months. But your logic says that because there is more snark over stupid questions that have been covered over & over recently, that we're all bitches that won't allow new members in. It's stupid questions that keep mucking up the board and making the good stuff harder to spot. So here's some thoughts....

1. Introduce yourself so we know who we're talking to.
2. Before starting a new discussion, use the search bar to see if it's been covered. After 8-9 months of pregnancy, it probably has been.
3. Show support for others and you'll get it in return.

It's not that hard ladies. Get off your ass and stop being so lazy.

salbert610 · February 2014

There you go look up my activity and shame me, you prove your point, wait my point.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

AriaAmante143 · February 2014

salbert610 said:

There you go look up my activity and shame me, you prove your point, wait my point.

How did I shame you? MY point was that this board is a two-way street. You can't come here demanding support and shun the snark without actually offering some support yourself.

kstar83 · February 2014

salbert610 said:

I suggested creating a message board to bitch and complain, not needing to go somewhere else to talk to each other. One of your own suggested a FB group, I just agreed. And while you were proactively and assertively replying to posts and committing to the discussion boards there were hundreds of other members that are introverts that read the boards and might only post here and there. Or quite possibly a member who just found out about the bump and wants to ask some questions. Not all members are going to be as active and I highly doubt that any new members have gone back to the beginning of this birth club to view all messages.

It's called Bitchfest Mondays.... that is where we gripe about random things. Every single monday. For the last 30+ weeks.

Also there is a search function, and google, and your doctor. This is an internet chat room. No one is trying to be a bully or rude, we support one another. I will never, ever forget the MoM that told me, after we lost one of our twins, that I will always be a MoM-even as I was dealing with untold guilt and trying to still be happy that I had one healthy baby growing. She is likely one of the main reasons I come back here often to support these women and laugh together. Because pregnancy is messed up and different for everyone, and frankly no one understands better than these women all that goes along with that.

I may not be here every day, and I may get a little too caught up in my GIFs, but are not using them as an attack, but a way to laugh away the ninth time we've had a questions about mucus plugs or weight gain in the LAST 2 DAYS.

rockopera · February 2014

salbert610 said:

There you go look up my activity and shame me, you prove your point, wait my point.

Are you drunk? You are calling out people for not behaving in a way you deem suitable. Not having conversations and not posting "helpful" things.

I'm accusing you of lurking, not posting "helpful" things, or offering basically any support to anyone here. Ever. You are not a member of this community. You do not get a say.

Now, if you want to go offer congratulations to women who have had babies, or perhaps kind thoughts to women who are dealing with health or other issues for themselves and/or their LOs and families, awesome. Other than that, you can go fuck right off.

LittlePigeon · February 2014

I'm not sure which is worse... The drive-by posters with terrible grammar or how hard OP is working to try to make it seem like the members of this board are heathens with her over the top word choices. No one likes uppity people who think they're somehow better than other people for no apparent reason. Shit is weak.

alicat85 · February 2014

OP please go away. Clearly no one is in agreement with your nonsense BS. In fact not a single person has commented that they agree with anything you're saying. Take a hint.

salbert610 · February 2014

This discussion is becoming just as monotonous as the posts I was referring to.

nickied143 · February 2014

@salbert610

I would like to use real life scenarios to reference the community and support of this board. This may get lengthy, so hold on.

I am a nurse at a hospital, on a very busy post-surgical unit. My patients are very ill. Most of them of there for surgeries relating to pancreatic, esophageal, gastric, colon, rectal, gall bladder, prostate and other cancers. Most of the time, their prognoses are very poor. As their nurse, its my job to support and care for them in every way possible, and very intimately at that. Sometimes, I need to have conversations with my patients and their families regarding palliative, hospice and end of life care. Now imagine, I showed up at the start of my shift, knowing nothing about my patient, their family, their personality, what they have been through, etc and just walked into the room and said "I'm Nicky, I'm your nurse. I need to know if you want to put your wife/husband/mother/father in hospice care, because they are dying." Then walked out of the room. How do you think they would view me? I haven't showed a presence or support, just walked in, demanding answers to very personal questions. Wouldn't I be a fucking bitch, then.

This community is just so. You cannot walk in off the street, so to speak, demand answers and then be upset that you haven't been coddled or judge the responses of the people who actually participate and are here for one another. Perhaps you have been here quietly lurking and reading posts for the last 8 months. But you have not provided any support or been any real part of this community. Standing in the background doing nothing, doesn't make you an integral part of this board, just as in real life, me standing in the corner of my patients room, quietly doing nothing makes me any better of a nurse.

So, get off your high horse and take a good look in the mirror.

AshleyO925 · February 2014

salbert610 said:
Butthurt? It's fairly obvious that this discussion is talking about your colorful word choice, everyone getting entirely too upset and catty about questions they have deemed unacceptable.

First of all, asiabunton, learn to use the quote button because this isn't your diary. Second of all, butthurt is an excellent word to describe your attitude in this thread.

nickied143 · February 2014

@salbert610

One more thing for this little gem:

"Your natural disapproving demeanor and condescending attitude will prove to be an integral component of your parenting."

My 9 yo is in the top 2% of his class academically, plays cello, lacrosse, and travel soccer. He is reading at a middle school level, and has a separate math teacher to teach at his level. He is polite, well-mannered, listens when asked to do something and is one of the most caring boys I have ever come across. His teacher called me a few days ago to tell me that during a timed math test, a boy started crying because he was frustrated that he wasn't going to finish. My son turned in his test, got up and walked over to the boy and started rubbing his back, telling him it's going to be OK and just to concentrate and not worry. So, my parenting is on point, and you can respectfully go fuck yourself.

:-*

We may flame for stupid repetitive questions, but we don't call people bad parents or talk ill of their children, you dear, are the low one on this totem pole.

PinupMomma08 · February 2014

I just wanted to throw out there that I love @lw78 really hard right now.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

saisongbird · February 2014

salbert610 said:

This discussion is becoming just as monotonous as the posts I was referring to.

salbert610 · February 2014

I have supported others, you might need to get back to your research on my posting activity.

Replies are continually going off topic, not discussing the core of the discussion. This discussion is about bringing attention to the rude comments that have continued to overwhelm the message board. That the bitching and complaining should go somewhere else because it's really sad to create such a negative energy on a discussion board for pregnant women.

There absolutely have been many sad posts about how cruel life can be. I would hope that life's uncontrollable cruelty would be enough negativity for the board. Thoughtlessly creating additional negativity is just asinine.

KariB509 · February 2014

GO THE FUCK AWAY

rockopera · February 2014

Your thread is negative. Your thread is bitching and complaining. You are not contributing to any positive energy to this board full of pregnant women.

You creating negative energy is just asinine. And you have still not offered any support to anyone since August. 10%+ of all your posts are in this thread alone. You are everything you are trying to fight against here.

You will not get any outcome you are wishing for here. But keep going, you know we enjoy this.

AriaAmante143 · February 2014

rockopera said:

Your thread is negative. Your thread is bitching and complaining. You are not contributing to any positive energy to this board full of pregnant women.

You creating negative energy is just asinine. And you have still not offered any support to anyone since August. 10%+ of all your posts are in this thread alone. You are everything you are trying to fight against here.

You will not get any outcome you are wishing for here. But keep going, you know we enjoy this.

Not to mention that while this entire thread has been going on, the rest of us have been commenting (positively, I might add) on all the other threads going on right now. Everyone except for OP. Are you going to practice what you preach, or just continue being negative in this thread?

Yenemous · February 2014

FarmBoysWife said:
Where's PP's white knight?

I feel this thread is lacking with out one..

Where is bitch-cake lady?

I was just thinking this!

Question for @salbert610
What exactly is the point of this post? I cannot for the life of me understand why this keeps being brought up. If you don't like this website, don't like this board, or don't like this group of ladies then why don't you just leave? Like pp said, there are many other websites similar to this one which might better suit your needs. You say these ladies are nothing but a bunch of mean spirited cliquey bitches, but seriously, your continuous participation in this discussion does nothing but prove to me that YOU are the problem here. You've done nothing but attack a group of women that you obviously know little to nothing about. So please...kindly step down from your soapbox and find somewhere else to play.

saisongbird · February 2014

salbert610 said:

Replies are continually going off topic, not discussing the core of the discussion. This discussion is about bringing attention to the rude comments that have continued to overwhelm the message board.

Threads are like conversations. They change topic from time to time. Get over it.

SmittyPants · February 2014

salbert610 said:

I have supported others, you might need to get back to your research on my posting activity. Replies are continually going off topic, not discussing the core of the discussion. This discussion is about bringing attention to the rude comments that have continued to overwhelm the message board. That the bitching and complaining should go somewhere else because it's really sad to create such a negative energy on a discussion board for pregnant women. There absolutely have been many sad posts about how cruel life can be. I would hope that life's uncontrollable cruelty would be enough negativity for the board. Thoughtlessly creating additional negativity is just asinine.

Christ on a cracker.

You sound utterly ridiculous. It's a message board FFS. There's no reason to take this shit so seriously.

Frankly, if you don't like the snark or the gifs or you think someone is out of line, grow a set and say it in the post in which it is actually happening like I do. It's pointless to create a new discussion on the topic.

Lastly, I'm sure it's known at this point that I don't necessarily agree with every poster here and that I think there is a group who is too quick to jump on others. That said, those same women are unbelievably supportive and if a reg needed a shoulder on which to cry or lean, there is no doubt those same women would be among the first in line.

Seriously, OP, get over yourself.

legallyginger · February 2014

salbert610 said:
I have supported others, you might need to get back to your research on my posting activity.

Replies are continually going off topic, not discussing the core of the discussion. This discussion is about bringing attention to the rude comments that have continued to overwhelm the message board. That the bitching and complaining should go somewhere else because it's really sad to create such a negative energy on a discussion board for pregnant women.

There absolutely have been many sad posts about how cruel life can be. I would hope that life's uncontrollable cruelty would be enough negativity for the board. Thoughtlessly creating additional negativity is just asinine.

I reiterate- you are fighting a losing battle. This is how the internet works. Clutching your pearls because people "bitch and complain" or because dicussions go off topic is ridiculous.

southerncharm24 · February 2014

Speaking of. I just ate some Oreos. Wooo.

VanessaBee · February 2014

SmittyPants said:

salbert610 said:

I have supported others, you might need to get back to your research on my posting activity.

Replies are continually going off topic, not discussing the core of the discussion. This discussion is about bringing attention to the rude comments that have continued to overwhelm the message board. That the bitching and complaining should go somewhere else because it's really sad to create such a negative energy on a discussion board for pregnant women.

There absolutely have been many sad posts about how cruel life can be. I would hope that life's uncontrollable cruelty would be enough negativity for the board. Thoughtlessly creating additional negativity is just asinine.

Christ on a cracker.

You sound utterly ridiculous. It's a message board FFS. There's no reason to take this shit so seriously.

Frankly, if you don't like the snark or the gifs or you think someone is out of line, grow a set and say it in the post in which it is actually happening like I do. It's pointless to create a new discussion on the topic.

Lastly, I'm sure it's known at this point that I don't necessarily agree with every poster here and that I think there is a group who is too quick to jump on others. That said, those same women are unbelievably supportive and if a reg needed a shoulder on which to cry or lean, there is no doubt those same women would be among the first in line.

Seriously, OP, get over yourself.

This. These women have been there for each other through losses, birth defects, health complications, preterm deliveries and so much more. They sympathize with the scary things and celebrate all the joys, big and small. The STMs (and healthcare specialists!) have patiently answered endless, ridiculous questions from us FTMs. Who can blame the eye rolls and GIFs nine months in. They have built this community and I fail to see why it's their responsibility to cater to anyone who doesn't put in as much effort as they do or demands respect and attention when they haven't given same. There are so many newcomers who have joined in and been welcome, by just exercising the tiniest bit of etiquette. I'm an outlier / lurker / sometimes poster and I give props for what they've built - if this community didn't suit my needs, it would be my job to find or build another, not theirs to accommodate me.

I dig you ladies and everything I've learned here.

jasi704 · February 2014

Blonderedhead781 said:

@salbert610, so if you hate it so bad, why are you here? This is what I don't get about you, beetlejuice and jasi. If you hate us so much, why in the world do you keep coming back? It makes no sense. Not to mention the fact that we were all here first. We have built this community. You have an issue with it, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. You don't get to come in here and bitch about things when you haven't been here or established yourself in what we've already built. That's assinine.

How self absorbed are you to think the bitchy clique owns this board?! You're not the only ones here. I can't speak for the others you referred to, but I personally come back because I like to read what other women are going through, especially those who are in the same stage of pregnancy as me. I have to agree with OP that it's really sad that there are a few women who take over discussions with their negative commentary and gif parties. You guys are the ones saying us "drive by" posters should read past discussions before posting. But what good would that do when the majority of the responses to so many questions consists of pure snark??

salbert610 · February 2014

No fight here - people are asking me questions and provoking more of a response from me. I keep reiterating my point, and it continues to get misconstrued. I don't have some naive thought that my discussion is going to reach and change anyone. My post was simply to bring attention to the increase in catty responses lately and that I find them incredibly unnecessary.

No need to defend your loyalty or commitment to being supportive, I think that is truly wonderful and did not disagree with your supportive comments.

The barking and cackling that takes place when a group deems a topic unworthy is just getting really old. If you think a discussion is dumb or redundant just don't answer.

You obviously find my discussion dumb and redundant, I urge you to start ignoring dumb posts right now.

AriaAmante143 · February 2014

So, which is worse, the girls who snark or the girls that only pop out of the woodwork once a day to complain about the snark?

ktowle22 · February 2014

Just a quick note from a lurker. I have really enjoyed this board. Although I haven't posted a lot of times, I read just about every thread. I have been on bed rest since 30 weeks (currently 37 weeks) and the so called "bitches/regs have gotten me through it. But like others have already said, if you take the time to read other posts, you may find out that these bitches/regs are an amazing group of gals that have given so much advice and support.

Now back to lurking I go!

rockopera · February 2014

Again, you want it to change for what? So when you lurk on a community it is more pleasing for you? So that you are not bored with the "barking and cackling"? So you get more information without doing any work? So that you don't find any comments unnecessary?

Your way of bringing attention to the "change" was a rant that was condescending and negative, from your high horse as a non-participant in even the positive stuff. And you even got a swipe in about our "parenting" (dick move by the way). You are not getting misconstrued. You are getting called on your bullshit.

YOU ARE NOT CONTRIBUTING ANYTHING POSITIVE TO THIS COMMUNITY.

And it seems like you have no intention to. Sorry that your freebie entertainment isn't living up to your high standards. You're just going to have to get over it, it seems.

legallyginger · February 2014

dotgirl2 said:
Well said @rockopera

Agreed.

*slow clap*

jennybean80 · February 2014

Here's the thing OP. Not all of us have been here from the beginning, I joined in October. But I spent some time lurking and reading old threads to get the feel of the board before posting. And I did an intro because I decided that I liked this board and wanted to be a part of it. I feel like I've given and received lots of support here, and these 'bitches' we're great when I was dealing with PTL, bedrest and the preterm delivery of my twins. Why? Because I contribute to this board and now am a part of this community. When I post something people know who I am and some of my history.

The difference is that I made sure this board fit me, I didn't try to barge my way in crying 'you're all snarky and mean, change to be what I need'! You don't get to set the tone of this board. I don't either. There is a community here and if it isn't the right fit for you, you have the right to (kindly) piss off.

eta: spelling.

SomersIsles · February 2014

I would add my insight but I missed this whole conversation because my dog decided to chew an entire rawhide on my nice clean comforter and his slobber soaked all the way to the mattress.... So I had to do a shit ton of laundry... And make dinner.... And run errands.... Being an adult sucks. lol

Regardless, I agree with the "bitches". If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. It's getting wicked annoying with drive bys trying to change the dynamic of an established board.

saisongbird · February 2014

If we're bitches, can we put together a Mean Girls M14 or a Bitches M14 badge? Geez, guise, if we're gonna be labeled as mean girls, we might as well be proud of it!

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