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February 2014 Moms
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Sad & confused

MamaAllisonMamaAllison member
in February 2014 Moms
Hey F14. I have a dilemma I'd love to hear your guys opinions on. My grandma is dying of lung cancer. We were never incredibly close but I grew up living close by and she always did things with me as a child and has been a part of all our family celebrations, etcetera. Since she has been sick she has been pushing people away by asking people not to visit, she can really only handle short visits so my aunts and uncles that live far away visiting has been hard. Since we live close by I was doing a quick visit every other weekend, which had been fine. I haven't seen her since the baby was born, three weeks almost, and I guess she deteriorated quite a bit in that time. I got a call from my dad today that she would like to see a picture of Charlotte. I just think it's crazy to send a picture when we could easily go visit for a brief time and she could actually meet her great granddaughter. I would also like to say goodbye, obviously. I'm so torn - do I respect her wishes and send the picture, or do I go visit and hope I'm not overstepping?

Thanks for reading.
DD1 - Evelyn Riley - 9/30/11
DD2 - Charlotte Avery - 1/27/14




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Re: Sad & confused

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  • 1linedrawing1linedrawing member
    Just wanted to give hugs! I'm so sorry!

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  • pinkgrl84pinkgrl84 member
    I agree with the pp on a short visit. I am sorry your grandma is sick and not doing well. ((Hugs))
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  • MamaAllisonMamaAllison member
    Thanks guys! @rondackhiker I think I will take your advice and stop by quickly with a few photos!
    DD1 - Evelyn Riley - 9/30/11
    DD2 - Charlotte Avery - 1/27/14




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  • shellbell3845shellbell3845 member
    No advice, but I'm sorry about your grandma.
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  • ScottnsaranhenriScottnsaranhenri member
    edited February 2014
    My Dad did the same thing when he was dying. He was embarrassed to be seen so frail. But when it came to the people who truly loved him, we ignored it & put ourselves there for him. He really appreciated that even though he said don't come, that it was ignored & it helped him realize how loved he was.
    Please go. Take your daughter & take a picture. Tell her 'we want you to have this since we can't come visit as often as I'd like.' My personal feelings are never to say good-bye, it's too final. Leave a piece of yourself with them, so that when they go, they know you're still there. It helped me at least with both my parents & my Gram.
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