Completely upset to tears :((

pandadair · February 2014

^^^ Eh. I guess that's just why I have side conversations instead of posting on the general board. I had a really hard time with something (husband related, actually), and part of my meltdown was hormonal. I can't stand people blaming others' perceived "bitchiness" on hormones, but hormones are an actual side effect of pregnancy, no? I don't know why we aren't allowed to acknowledge that they can have an effect on our emotions. Whatever. Like I said, I don't really care about this thread and I generally don't comment on the body issues stuff. Y'all have at it.

Lindseykaz · February 2014

I got then with ds and they went right away, got them again this time, hoping for the same. Also mine are so bad they go all the way up my thigh and on my labia, so that sucks. But I'm also not going to having a breakdown if they don't go away....

reneewhite90 · February 2014

savannah_girl said:

pandadair said:

savannah_girl said:

Venting is 'ugh, I got a stretch mark/scar...whatever'. Not 'omg, I am in TEARS!'. Big difference.

And what issue does your stomach have that is a hernia waiting to happen. I have been trying to figure that out.

Oh please, like she wouldn't have gotten the same reaction if she'd done that. I find it interesting that the body issues seem to be the main ones that cause a thread to burst into flames. People, including regulars, bitch about their husbands/SOs all the time, and no one goes out of their way to point out that we've had multiple posters discuss their marriages being on the brink of ending and that the OP needs to shut the fuck up because whatever is bothering them doesn't meet some arbitrary qualification of "mattering enough".

As far as this thread... I really have nothing. I don't think a varicose vein is that big of a deal, but there's probably something that I really struggle with that others on here would determine me to be a stupid asshole for being bothered by. *shrug* Did I just make myself into a white knight? *bigger shrug*

Body issues are common during pregnancy. And I am usually very supportive for them. I can't tolerate "I was 110 and I gained 10! OMG, is this normal!". But yet, we just had a varicose vein poster, and people were relatively supportive. They told her that is would either strink or go away after pregnancy.

OP did not do either. I have no tolerance for extreme melodramatic people. And do not post about something hormonal. She already admitted that this is her norm.

Ehh, I don't think the particular number the scale reads should justify whether or not having body image issues is legit or not. Kat, I love you and will use your story to get my point across. She said she is at her highest weight right now at 300lbs and loves herself. That is amazing and I commend her for that. This is not a brag post whatsoever, I'm just trying to prove a point. So because I am self conscious of my 135lb weigh in this week, does that make me a vain bitch that really needs to check herself because "omg what is 135lbs?!" Hell no. If you are self conscious about yourself, watching a number go up on a scale is going to bother you regardless if it went from 110 to 135 or from 260 to 300. It's bogus that just because someone was a smaller weight to begin with, they aren't "allowed" to feel like crap when they gain weight. I'm self conscious of my body at 135lbs; Kat loves her body and herself at 300lbs. So what? That doesn't make me some vain bitch. It makes me a bitch that has some serious self image bs to work on after having this baby.

To all those that said there are many women dealing with L & D issues and much more serious events right now; I totally agree with that. That fact does not slip my mind when I'm crying like a little baby over a stupid number. Honestly...? It makes me feel worse for dwelling over something so "trivial". I've been on bed rest for over a month with my back and while it is some of the worst physical pain I've ever been in, the emotional strain with the other stuff has been much more difficult for me. Everyone has their own shit to deal with; take it with a grain of salt.

My 135lb bitchy self is especially cranky today.

EDIT: THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO BE A WHITE KNIGHT POST. REPEAT; NOT WHITE KNIGHTING.

reneewhite90 · February 2014

ErBear1010 said:
Relationship issues and body issues are different. There can be major underlying issues in the relationship that we don't know about and while a lot of issues posted here seem trivial, I wouldn't say that to another person.
What we are all saying here is that OP started a thread stating she was in tears because of a vein. A common issue with pregnancy. It's like me crying because I gained weight even though I worked so hard to lose weight before I got pregnant-then posting about it. Yes, the vein may suck but get some perspective. She got some support, the complained about not being able to get plastic surgery because of insurance. Again, perspective.

The other parts of what OP said in this thread are exactly why I'm not WKing, such as the plastic surgery/insurance stuff. Some of the responses just included examples of stuff that came off as "you don't have the right to be upset about..." and that was what rubbed me the wrong way. I agree whole heartedly with the needing perspective about certain things. I also believe that certain things should be kept to yourself and not posted on the interwebs because this is exactly what will happen...

Christinaruth74 · February 2014

ehhh, i think people have caught a good flaming from SO issues. anyone remember bed wetter?

reneewhite90 · February 2014

Christinaruth74 said:
ehhh, i think people have caught a good flaming from SO issues. anyone remember bed wetter?

But come onnnnnn....

kat8805 · February 2014

reneewhite90 said:

pandadair said:

savannah_girl said:

Venting is 'ugh, I got a stretch mark/scar...whatever'. Not 'omg, I am in TEARS!'. Big difference. And what issue does your stomach have that is a hernia waiting to happen. I have been trying to figure that out.

Oh please, like she wouldn't have gotten the same reaction if she'd done that. I find it interesting that the body issues seem to be the main ones that cause a thread to burst into flames. People, including regulars, bitch about their husbands/SOs all the time, and no one goes out of their way to point out that we've had multiple posters discuss their marriages being on the brink of ending and that the OP needs to shut the fuck up because whatever is bothering them doesn't meet some arbitrary qualification of "mattering enough".

As far as this thread... I really have nothing. I don't think a varicose vein is that big of a deal, but there's probably something that I really struggle with that others on here would determine me to be a stupid asshole for being bothered by. *shrug* Did I just make myself into a white knight? *bigger shrug*

Body issues are common during pregnancy. And I am usually very supportive for them. I can't tolerate "I was 110 and I gained 10! OMG, is this normal!". But yet, we just had a varicose vein poster, and people were relatively supportive. They told her that is would either strink or go away after pregnancy.
OP did not do either. I have no tolerance for extreme melodramatic people. And do not post about something hormonal. She already admitted that this is her norm.
Ehh, I don't think the particular number the scale reads should justify whether or not having body image issues is legit or not. Kat, I love you and will use your story to get my point across. She said she is at her highest weight right now at 300lbs and loves herself. That is amazing and I commend her for that. This is not a brag post whatsoever, I'm just trying to prove a point. So because I am self conscious of my 135lb weigh in this week, does that make me a vain bitch that really needs to check herself because "omg what is 135lbs?!" Hell no. If you are self conscious about yourself, watching a number go up on a scale is going to bother you regardless if it went from 110 to 135 or from 260 to 300. It's bogus that just because someone was a smaller weight to begin with, they aren't "allowed" to feel like crap when they gain weight. I'm self conscious of my body at 135lbs; Kat loves her body and herself at 300lbs. So what? That doesn't make me some vain bitch. It makes me a bitch that has some serious self image bs to work on after having this baby. To all those that said there are many women dealing with L & D issues and much more serious events right now; I totally agree with that. That fact does not slip my mind when I'm crying like a little baby over a stupid number. Honestly...? It makes me feel worse for dwelling over something so "trivial". I've been on bed rest for over a month with my back and while it is some of the worst physical pain I've ever been in, the emotional strain with the other stuff has been much more difficult for me. Everyone has their own shit to deal with; take it with a grain of salt. My 135lb bitchy self is especially cranky today. EDIT: THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO BE A WHITE KNIGHT POST. REPEAT; NOT WHITE KNIGHTING.

I love you too boo :x

My whole point is more a "get a grip". Cry over world hunger, then pick yourself and fund raise. Cry over someone on the transplant list, then pick yourself up and go sign up to be a donor.

But crying over something you literally have NO control over... you just need to pick yourself up dear. You cannot control your genes, or how your body changes over time. Stop the self hate. We're all beautiful, and it's time to stop focusing on the image of our bodies. It's not healthy.

I've been there. I used to cry myself to sleep if my husband turned me down for sex because I didn't feel good enough for him. I GET IT. But there comes a time in life where you have to look at yourself in the mirror and realize, this is what you've been given. You can spend hours shaping and molding, and painting it, but does it change how you honestly feel about yourself?

Divine0chaos · February 2014

Thank you ladies for the support. The fact of the matter is I understand the pov I'm not being a brick wall. What the others aren't seeing is MY pov. It's not just being upset over my body if I was I would have never gotten over my stomach and wore a bikini again. Fact is a sucked it up worked my ass for a year and learned to love my new body. Me crying was more so I was doing everything right and it still happened and venting from frustration. Am I going to live life crying everyday over a vein god no an if you took it like that you weren't reading or understanding my point at all which is why I said its like talking to a brick wall /shrug. Veins are not just cosmetic they are medical just like my stomach. The one elective plastic surgery is very hard to recive and I have already tried with my stomach twice. My ob and PCM plan on trying to get me taken care of after this baby HOPEFULLY. As of right now for whatever reason after playing with my son in the backyard the veins became hard and bubbly and I lost feeling in my leg soooo FLAME ON PLEASE FOR MY VENTING! Called the ob already I'm no longer allowed to run until I'm seen again, I have to wear compression hoses and elevate as often as possible. If I loose too much feeling again they want me to come in to make sure it doesn't form a clot.

awc1986 · February 2014

reneewhite90 said:

Christinaruth74 said:
ehhh, i think people have caught a good flaming from SO issues. anyone remember bed wetter?
But come onnnnnn....

I remember that week was just full of pee posts.

Mamazon2014 · February 2014

Now I just feel silly for crying on the way to my fetal echo yesterday to check whether or not my son had inherited the congenital heart defect that my MIL has and that ended up contributing to his great aunt's death.

Instead I am totes going to start focusing on the back fat that is starting to make indents under my clothes when I wear my bra because I'm on modified bed rest and I can't work out thanks to my high risk pregnancy.

Be thankful that you are fortunate enough to be able to continue to be active. And I know unwanted body changes suck, but when you feel like having a melt down over them, try to remember that there are worse things you could be developing during this pregnancy other than spider veins (which we have no control over).

EDited because I am not a complete bitch and saw your latest: elevate your leg and ice the vein. Swelling can cause numb tingly feeling. My mom gets it sometimes with hers, though hers look like roadmaps more than small spider veins.

Mimaloo · February 2014

Divine0chaos said:

Thank you ladies for the support. The fact of the matter is I understand the pov I'm not being a brick wall. What the others aren't seeing is MY pov. It's not just being upset over my body if I was I would have never gotten over my stomach and wore a bikini again. Fact is a sucked it up worked my ass for a year and learned to love my new body. Me crying was more so I was doing everything right and it still happened and venting from frustration. Am I going to live life crying everyday over a vein god no an if you took it like that you weren't reading or understanding my point at all which is why I said its like talking to a brick wall /shrug. Veins are not just cosmetic they are medical just like my stomach. The one elective plastic surgery is very hard to recive and I have already tried with my stomach twice. My ob and PCM plan on trying to get me taken care of after this baby HOPEFULLY. As of right now for whatever reason after playing with my son in the backyard the veins became hard and bubbly and I lost feeling in my leg soooo FLAME ON PLEASE FOR MY VENTING! Called the ob already I'm no longer allowed to run until I'm seen again, I have to wear compression hoses and elevate as often as possible. If I loose too much feeling again they want me to come in to make sure it doesn't form a clot.

1) I think (could be wrong) people are irritated because the appearance of varicose veins has nothing to do with the right or wrong things. You can't control them any more than you can control getting stretch marks or wrinkles in your forehead (I have 4 @kat8805 from pre-pregnancy and I'm not proud of them! Just saying

) There are bigger things to get worked up over and cry about - like having to go to L&D way too early.

2) Yes - they are a medical issue. They run in my family (I've avoided them so far). I remember my mother in pain on the couch with her legs up and compression stockings on. I remember her having surgery in which they were stripped out of her legs. They came back. She's had laser treatments done on them as well as injections of something (not sure what)...they came back every time. To this day she still won't wear dresses or skirts and will only wear shorts around the house. Her sister has the same problem. So yes, they suck.

But let me tell you, IF also sucks. BIG TIME! Before getting pregnant I had put on some weight but not enough to call myself fat; I considered my boobs to be my best and most perfect feature (and they're 100% real); I had zero stretch marks and not a vein in sight. However, knowing how much it took us to get pregnant (emotionally and financially), I can honestly say that I don't even think to complain about cosmetic issues. I'm too grateful to be pregnant with a healthy baby.

So now, I look in the mirror and I do think I'm huge, but I'm okay with it. It's not permanent. My boobs? They have stretch marks and I just had to go up another bra size - they had already shot up to a 38D - and I know I'll be going up again. Maybe someday, when I'm completely done having kids, I'll have some work done to put them back to their normal size. And should I get stretch marks on my stomach or veins in my legs, so be it. I certainly won't love my imperfections, but I'll have a daughter and that makes it okay.

I guess my point is to just be grateful that you have a healthy baby on the way. Not everyone is so fortunate.

ETA: verb tenses be hard yo.

Want a personalized experience?

Completely upset to tears :((

Re: Completely upset to tears :((

Choose Another Board

Search Boards