I would love some suggestions!

Re: I would love some suggestions!

• KatFCo member

  February 2014

  Joy2611 said:

  KAGPowell said:

  
  I have to submit my thesis proposal, with it goes a form about my completed credits and advisor. And it's our civil service anniversary combined with our religious ceremony.

  Two weddings AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND a Baby shower?
  
  You lurve attention like woah.
  

  
  The two ceremony thing might actually be a legitimately cultural thing. In China it is common for people to have a civil ceremony and then later on have a cultural or religious ceremony, sometimes months later. I doubt they're the only culture that does something similar. And I did have quite a bit of work for my candidacy, so I can see that being stressful as well. HOWEVER, that's all the more reason to NOT try to plan your own shower, party, whatever you want to call it. Just don't do it.

  

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• Liz4444 member

  February 2014

  I'm confused, if baby showers aren't the norm in your culture (I'm assuming Chinese because of the Red Egg you mentioned), why does she need to "throw one" to save face?

  

  
  

  

  
  

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• VOR member

  February 2014

  I can't see through all the MUD on this.

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• TikiTurtle member

  February 2014

  Your mother is an evil witch, so just say no.
  
  Your SIL offered to throw you a shower, so if you really want a party that you don't have to plan let her do it. Your mom can suck it.
  
  And this thing is happening in June? Seriously? Nobody is planning their lives around a baby shower 4 months away, so if you have to change it from your mom to your SIL (or just cancel all together) no one will care.

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• Unknown

  February 2014

  This content has been removed.
• PrimRoseMama member

  February 2014

  Just save your money & your emotions. Don't show up. People will figure out your mom is crazier than a shit house rat.
  
  Really, I see absolutely no benefit to this shower at all.

  
  LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
  
  
  
  
  

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• MGP member

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  KAGPowell said:

  I say no to her everyday. Like I said in my other post, she does what she wants regardless of what other people, myself included, want. She has planned parties for her brother where no one showed up because they had other plans and she pitched a fit. She invites herself places like my college dorm room in another country where she had no keys or access code and I found her standing at the foot of my bed while I slept. She "invited" herself into my grandmother's dr appointments. She calls my psychiatrist and tells her to disregard patient confidentiality, she "has" to know certain things because that's what mothers do. It doesn't matter how much you say no, she just doesn't hear it.

  
  Just in case this is for real: cancel this shower. Immediately. Use the money for some serious therapy for you and your mother and the rest of your family. There are so many more concerning issues here that a baby shower is the least of your worries. I wish you the absolute best for a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby.

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• Meery82 member

  February 2014

  PrimRoseMama said:

  Just save your money & your emotions. Don't show up. People will figure out your mom is crazier than a shit house rat. Really, I see absolutely no benefit to this shower at all.

  
  I almost choked on my Twix when I read "shit house rat".

  

  Report8 Reply
• ArgyleBride member

  February 2014

  Okay.  Oh dear.  I believe you that you don't want the shower and don't want the attention.  It is hard for people who haven't seen it firsthand, but this type of family difficulty really, really gets into a person's head.  In the midst of one of these types of shitstorms, it's so incredibly difficult to even figure out what's normal and what isn't, which way is up and which way is down.  

  
  

  Also, an aside about the doctoral candidate thing: I'm in grad school too and depending on the department there absolutely can be avalanches of paperwork.  And we are all pretty normal people who are not that amazingly amazing (or even capable of consistently spelling "believe" without the squiggly red line, yupyup) so I see no reason to doubt this.

  
  

  Right.  My actual advice.  I care deeply about etiquette, but in your case things are much more serious than babyshower protocol.  Just do what you need to do to survive this.  As long as you do not put upon your guests, I for one am ready to forgive any etiquette transgression.  Just make it through.  Just make it through.  I am so sorry.  Good luck friend.  I really feel for you and I will be thinking about you.

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• anitabanita member

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  Many of the women dominating this forum are miserable. It's because they are not intelligent and unique situations make them angry - it makes their heads hurt, the thinking. You can look through the threads on this website and find this happening over and over again, on completely reasonable posts, so don't let them get to you. And congratulations on your pregnancy BTW I'll answer your questions, since few others did:

  
  

  On the invites, just use the term 'gender neutral'. Everyone has heard it before and knows what it means, you don't have to try and get them to understand that sex and gender are different, just say THIS IS A GENDER NEUTRAL THING and you'll get lots of green and yellow stuff. Also, receiving crap you specifically said you don't want is part of the baby shower tradition I think. Just return it later, or regift. 

  
  

  For the guys, I'd do something like jarred whiskey candies, homemade or store bought. Guys like candy, guys like whiskey, you can decorate the jar with something foresty or summat

  
  

  Also, a sorta risky theory of mine - you don't have to read this - gender is the problem in itself, so why are we trying so hard to work around it? For instance, the idea of being trans-sexual is somewhat backwards in that the prefix trans denotes a movement between points, meaning those points are fixed and real. But gender isn't fixed and real, it's a social construct. If my kid is born with male genitalia and prefers to wear dresses and makeup, calling him trans necessarily claims that these actions make him somewhat less than a man, that he has somehow shifted from himself. And in calling this trans-sexuality, not only do we force a person to partially reject themselves, we also further reinforce and constrain these 'points' so that another child who wants to wear dresses and makeup is further pressured to reject his understanding of himself as male.

  
  

  Anyway, if my son wants to wear dresses and makeup, I'm going to tell him that's cool and it doesn't make him any less of the person he was born, male genitalia and all. Gender is wack

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• Meery82 member

  February 2014

  anitabanita said:

  Many of the women dominating this forum are miserable. It's because they are not intelligent and unique situations make them angry - it makes their heads hurt, the thinking. You can look through the threads on this website and find this happening over and over again, on completely reasonable posts, so don't let them get to you. And congratulations on your pregnancy BTW I'll answer your questions, since few others did:

  
  

  On the invites, just use the term 'gender neutral'. Everyone has heard it before and knows what it means, you don't have to try and get them to understand that sex and gender are different, just say THIS IS A GENDER NEUTRAL THING and you'll get lots of green and yellow stuff. Also, receiving crap you specifically said you don't want is part of the baby shower tradition I think. Just return it later, or regift. 

  
  

  For the guys, I'd do something like jarred whiskey candies, homemade or store bought. Guys like candy, guys like whiskey, you can decorate the jar with something foresty or summat

  
  

  Also, a sorta risky theory of mine - you don't have to read this - gender is the problem in itself, so why are we trying so hard to work around it? For instance, the idea of being trans-sexual is somewhat backwards in that the prefix trans denotes a movement between points, meaning those points are fixed and real. But gender isn't fixed and real, it's a social construct. If my kid is born with male genitalia and prefers to wear dresses and makeup, calling him trans necessarily claims that these actions make him somewhat less than a man, that he has somehow shifted from himself. And in calling this trans-sexuality, not only do we force a person to partially reject themselves, we also further reinforce and constrain these 'points' so that another child who wants to wear dresses and makeup is further pressured to reject his understanding of himself as male.

  
  

  Anyway, if my son wants to wear dresses and makeup, I'm going to tell him that's cool and it doesn't make him any less of the person he was born, male genitalia and all. Gender is wack

  
  Oh shit, not this whack job. Please, no one feed this troll.

  

  Report7 Reply
• Cranang member

  February 2014

  Meery82 said:

  
  

  anitabanita said:

  
  

  Many of the women dominating this forum are miserable. It's because they are not intelligent and unique situations make them angry - it makes their heads hurt, the thinking. You can look through the threads on this website and find this happening over and over again, on completely reasonable posts, so don't let them get to you. And congratulations on your pregnancy BTW I'll answer your questions, since few others did:

  
  

  On the invites, just use the term 'gender neutral'. Everyone has heard it before and knows what it means, you don't have to try and get them to understand that sex and gender are different, just say THIS IS A GENDER NEUTRAL THING and you'll get lots of green and yellow stuff. Also, receiving crap you specifically said you don't want is part of the baby shower tradition I think. Just return it later, or regift. 

  
  

  For the guys, I'd do something like jarred whiskey candies, homemade or store bought. Guys like candy, guys like whiskey, you can decorate the jar with something foresty or summat

  
  

  Also, a sorta risky theory of mine - you don't have to read this - gender is the problem in itself, so why are we trying so hard to work around it? For instance, the idea of being trans-sexual is somewhat backwards in that the prefix trans denotes a movement between points, meaning those points are fixed and real. But gender isn't fixed and real, it's a social construct. If my kid is born with male genitalia and prefers to wear dresses and makeup, calling him trans necessarily claims that these actions make him somewhat less than a man, that he has somehow shifted from himself. And in calling this trans-sexuality, not only do we force a person to partially reject themselves, we also further reinforce and constrain these 'points' so that another child who wants to wear dresses and makeup is further pressured to reject his understanding of himself as male.

  
  

  Anyway, if my son wants to wear dresses and makeup, I'm going to tell him that's cool and it doesn't make him any less of the person he was born, male genitalia and all. Gender is wack

  
  

  
  
  Oh shit, not this whack job. Please, no one feed this troll.

  Meery82 said:

  
  

  anitabanita said:

  
  

  Many of the women dominating this forum are miserable. It's because they are not intelligent and unique situations make them angry - it makes their heads hurt, the thinking. You can look through the threads on this website and find this happening over and over again, on completely reasonable posts, so don't let them get to you. And congratulations on your pregnancy BTW I'll answer your questions, since few others did:

  
  

  On the invites, just use the term 'gender neutral'. Everyone has heard it before and knows what it means, you don't have to try and get them to understand that sex and gender are different, just say THIS IS A GENDER NEUTRAL THING and you'll get lots of green and yellow stuff. Also, receiving crap you specifically said you don't want is part of the baby shower tradition I think. Just return it later, or regift. 

  
  

  For the guys, I'd do something like jarred whiskey candies, homemade or store bought. Guys like candy, guys like whiskey, you can decorate the jar with something foresty or summat

  
  

  Also, a sorta risky theory of mine - you don't have to read this - gender is the problem in itself, so why are we trying so hard to work around it? For instance, the idea of being trans-sexual is somewhat backwards in that the prefix trans denotes a movement between points, meaning those points are fixed and real. But gender isn't fixed and real, it's a social construct. If my kid is born with male genitalia and prefers to wear dresses and makeup, calling him trans necessarily claims that these actions make him somewhat less than a man, that he has somehow shifted from himself. And in calling this trans-sexuality, not only do we force a person to partially reject themselves, we also further reinforce and constrain these 'points' so that another child who wants to wear dresses and makeup is further pressured to reject his understanding of himself as male.

  
  

  Anyway, if my son wants to wear dresses and makeup, I'm going to tell him that's cool and it doesn't make him any less of the person he was born, male genitalia and all. Gender is wack

  
  

  
  
  
  
  Oh shit, not this whack job. Please, no one feed this troll.
  
  
  Woah, that chick is beyond crazy. What a douche canoe.
  

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• RibbitGrl930 member

  February 2014

  I'm tickled by the mom's reasons for not wanting SIL to do it. She doesn't want it to be "cheap" or "tasteless." However, she's perfectly fine with OP throwing the shower herself, which is the epitome of bad taste. Wow.

   

  

   

  
  

  
  

   

   

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• PrimRoseMama member

  February 2014

  anitabanita said:

  Many of the women dominating this forum are miserable. It's because they are not intelligent and unique situations make them angry - it makes their heads hurt, the thinking. You can look through the threads on this website and find this happening over and over again, on completely reasonable posts, so don't let them get to you. And congratulations on your pregnancy BTW I'll answer your questions, since few others did:

  
  

  On the invites, just use the term 'gender neutral'. Everyone has heard it before and knows what it means, you don't have to try and get them to understand that sex and gender are different, just say THIS IS A GENDER NEUTRAL THING and you'll get lots of green and yellow stuff. Also, receiving crap you specifically said you don't want is part of the baby shower tradition I think. Just return it later, or regift. 

  
  

  For the guys, I'd do something like jarred whiskey candies, homemade or store bought. Guys like candy, guys like whiskey, you can decorate the jar with something foresty or summat

  
  

  Also, a sorta risky theory of mine - you don't have to read this - gender is the problem in itself, so why are we trying so hard to work around it? For instance, the idea of being trans-sexual is somewhat backwards in that the prefix trans denotes a movement between points, meaning those points are fixed and real. But gender isn't fixed and real, it's a social construct. If my kid is born with male genitalia and prefers to wear dresses and makeup, calling him trans necessarily claims that these actions make him somewhat less than a man, that he has somehow shifted from himself. And in calling this trans-sexuality, not only do we force a person to partially reject themselves, we also further reinforce and constrain these 'points' so that another child who wants to wear dresses and makeup is further pressured to reject his understanding of himself as male.

  
  

  Anyway, if my son wants to wear dresses and makeup, I'm going to tell him that's cool and it doesn't make him any less of the person he was born, male genitalia and all. Gender is wack

  What the actual fuck!?!
  

  
  LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
  
  
  
  
  

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