STM fears and things you will do different this time around (L&D).

JACKIE_RS88 · February 2014

My biggest fear is that this baby will have jaundice too and will be put under the bili lights for 24 hours like my last baby was. I wish there was a way to prevent this. It was so hard seeing him there naked and alone in that stupid box and only taking him out every couple of hours to eat where he would calm down and want to sleep instead of nursing.

I'm delivering at the same hospital and while I know not every labor goes the same I'm hoping to get a pleasant experience working with the doula. I won't have anyone visit until after a few hours of bonding time (like last time). I will drink more water this time around when the contractions start. I was dehydrated when I got to the hospital and it was insta-IV hookup.

lv2011 · February 2014

I fear needing pitocin again. I was fine with contractions until they gave me that crap. Pitocin contractions hurt soooo much worse. And the jaundice thing- DD was a little jaundiced, too and I hated having to let go of her so she could go back under the lights.

mrspopsicle · February 2014

My daughter was jaundiced too. We were able to lights at home, but it was still stressful and more than likely the reason behind her not wanting to latch and me ending up pumping rather than nursing. I don't think there is anything to do to prevent it. She was small and two weeks early. Maybe this baby will be able to cook a little longer.

TheBeeCharmer · February 2014

My DD had jaundice too. She suffered a hematoma during birth and it caused the jaundice, so I don't think it could've been prevented. She didn't need to stay longer, but I had to bring her in to the pedi more frequently at first to monitor her levels.

chknma · February 2014

I keep telling myself all that really matters is a healthy baby and mommy at the end, but....

I do not want to be induced again. I'm with a MW practice and hoping for a low intervention birth. My last induction only needed cervidil and only lasted 10 hours. I'm worried that another induction could lead me to super long labor, another epi and pushing for hours again. it took me 3 hours of active work to push DD out. overall it was a great first birth experience. I just want something different this time.

I'm just trying to prepare the best I can and communicate with my MWs. I feel a lot more educated as a STM and think that will be in my favor.

Xath · February 2014

chknma said:

I keep telling myself all that really matters is a healthy baby and mommy at the end, but....

This is the mantra that I keep saying over and over and over again. I know it's healthy and reasonable to have desires about how we'd like the birthing process to go. But realistically, I don't care if I have to be strapped upside down by my ankles for the next 3 months and get stuck with 50 needles per day if that's what it takes to keep the baby inside and get a healthy boy at the end. Would I like to have the perfect delivery and get instant bonding time with my LO? Of course. If the baby needs to go to the NICU or under the heating lamp, am I going to be upset? No. Because that's what's best for the baby, and what's best for the baby is best for me.

Kageer · February 2014

I will take all the drugs after birth for pain. I had the worst after birth contractions and waited too long to start to take pain killers for the them.

cnbean · February 2014

I'm afraid of getting all the way to the end of labor and still having a c-section. With my first he was wonky and got stuck. After 4 hrs of pushing the last thing I wanted to hear was c-section. I just keep telling myself that its really unlikely to happen the same way twice!

vszapp · February 2014

lv2011 said:
I fear needing pitocin again. I was fine with contractions until they gave me that crap. Pitocin contractions hurt soooo much worse. And the jaundice thing- DD was a little jaundiced, too and I hated having to let go of her so she could go back under the lights.

All of this for me too. NB went out the window when I got induced and the lights for jaundice sucked.

mmks · February 2014

Kimbus22 said:

I'm hoping it'll take less than 3 days this time. And if it doesn't, I'm asking for pain meds sooner.

This!
And this:

cnbean said:

I'm afraid of getting all the way to the end of labor and still having a c-section. With my first he was wonky and got stuck. After 4 hrs of pushing the last thing I wanted to hear was c-section. I just keep telling myself that its really unlikely to happen the same way twice!

frasey · February 2014

Im afraid of things being longer or more complicated than last time. My first L&D was waaay easier than I expected, and I'd order another one of those in a second. In a way Im expecting it to be faster and easier since many second deliveries are, but at the same time I can't really imagine it being much faster or easier!

Junebug060609 · February 2014

My biggest fear, hands down (assuming she gets delivered safely), is that she will be autistic like her brother. If she is, we will get through it, but I pray she/we don't have those extra challenges

For L&D stuff...I would really love for her to wait until daddy is home from deployment toarrive. I would like to avoid pre-e, induction, pitocin, chorioamecis...or whatever a ute infection at delivery is called, baby needing nicu time and having to stay inthe hospital for five damn days. Was it worth it to get him here safely? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean it is an experience I hope to repeat.

I'm also nervous about spending a night away from DS since I never have.

iadanza · February 2014

I'm scared I'll have another postpartum hemorrhage and require a blood transfusion. Also, I refuse to be induced again. It's either the baby comes naturally or they cut her out. Not going through induction again. Period.

kalette · February 2014

I'm hoping to get up and move around more after the birth. There was nothing keeping me from doing that with DD.. I guess I just felt like I was supposed to stay in the bed. This time I think I just want to be up as soon as I can.

MissLadyTay · February 2014

I won't wait so long to ask for an epidural this time. I waited 21 hours last time (I was induced) and made much better dilation progress once I had the epidural.

eghulse · February 2014

I'm scared of needing another c section. My first was positioned funny and wouldn't turn or drop, so after a 24 hour induction we went to surgery.

Also, my baby will not leave my room without someone going along. They took ds for tests that was supposed to take ten minutes, he was gone for an hour and I got a call saying they were sending him to the nicu because of his jaundice. He was there for 2 days, and they didn't tell me about things they did until after the fact. I was livid.

Kageer · February 2014

eghulse said:
I'm scared of needing another c section. My first was positioned funny and wouldn't turn or drop, so after a 24 hour induction we went to surgery.

Also, my baby will not leave my room without someone going along. They took ds for tests that was supposed to take ten minutes, he was gone for an hour and I got a call saying they were sending him to the nicu because of his jaundice. He was there for 2 days, and they didn't tell me about things they did until after the fact. I was livid.

I am sorry that happened to you(: My husband and I made a rule that the baby doesn't leave the room without one of us. Similar crap happened with our first.

rcbuko · February 2014

I had an episiotomy with my first baby and hated it. With the next two kids, I was very vocal about not having another and the doctors listened. I will do the same this time. Also, this time I will limit the guests who visit and when. After my last baby, I came home to a house which had my mother in law, father in law, and sister in law waiting for us. My mother in law has the key as she watches our children while we work. It was overwhelming and we weren't able to relax with our kids and new baby the way we would have liked.

MinaE01 · February 2014

I'm afraid of having a preemie again. I'm taking all the necessary precautions, but there are no guarantees. I was also told when I delivered DS that my pelvis was too small to deliver a full term baby. If I go full-term, I'll be looking at a c/s, unless the baby is small. I'm terrified of that experience and the recovery that will follow.

Ultimately, though, healthy baby is worth anything that I have to go through.

sisterjanet · February 2014

gertiebarden said:

chknma said:

I keep telling myself all that really matters is a healthy baby and mommy at the end, but....

This is the mantra that I keep saying over and over and over again. I know it's healthy and reasonable to have desires about how we'd like the birthing process to go. But realistically, I don't care if I have to be strapped upside down by my ankles for the next 3 months and get stuck with 50 needles per day if that's what it takes to keep the baby inside and get a healthy boy at the end. Would I like to have the perfect delivery and get instant bonding time with my LO? Of course. If the baby needs to go to the NICU or under the heating lamp, am I going to be upset? No. Because that's what's best for the baby, and what's best for the baby is best for me.

Not to knock anything you said, but I think it's ok to be upset if your baby needs to be in the NICU or something like that happens. If you have the deep inner peace to not be upset, major win for you, but if not upsetness is a totally legit reaction.

sisterjanet · February 2014

I have strong irrational fears that this baby will be premature, need a c-section, or be born like an hour after labor starts. Also, that I'll have a case of postpartum depression. Some days I feel like I already have postpartum depression and I'm not even postpartum yet.

I really really really don't want any IV or lock thing until/unless I actually need something intravenous. Last time, I seriously hated that stupid lock. I could feel it all the way into my wrist, and it ached for a few days afterward. Also, they added so much tape my hand started to seem like some horrible alien thing. (I labored in the tub for a while, which added to the epic need for more tape.) I hated it. I don't want it this time. But of course DH said straight out that if the doctors think I need it then I should just shut up and get it. grumblemumble.

eghulse · February 2014

kitchencolors said:
I won't let a nurse tell me to start supplementing at 2am when my baby is only 12 hours old unless there's a good reason.

I had nurses pushing me to supplement, too, and it was maddening. The hospital I'm delivering at this time doesn't even suggest formula except as an absolute last resort, so hopefully nursing will go over much better.

Xath · February 2014

sisterjanet said:

gertiebarden said:

chknma said:

I keep telling myself all that really matters is a healthy baby and mommy at the end, but....

This is the mantra that I keep saying over and over and over again. I know it's healthy and reasonable to have desires about how we'd like the birthing process to go. But realistically, I don't care if I have to be strapped upside down by my ankles for the next 3 months and get stuck with 50 needles per day if that's what it takes to keep the baby inside and get a healthy boy at the end. Would I like to have the perfect delivery and get instant bonding time with my LO? Of course. If the baby needs to go to the NICU or under the heating lamp, am I going to be upset? No. Because that's what's best for the baby, and what's best for the baby is best for me.

Not to knock anything you said, but I think it's ok to be upset if your baby needs to be in the NICU or something like that happens. If you have the deep inner peace to not be upset, major win for you, but if not upsetness is a totally legit reaction.

I think I phrased it wrong. I think all fears/concerns are legitimate in the moment. I don't disagree with anything anyone has listed here. I just don't think I'd look back at my birthing experience in a retrospective sense and regret any of the decisions/choices/events if I end up leaving with a healthy baby.

***loss mentioned***

I am, in fact, terrified that my baby will need to go to the NICU. I'm also terrified that I'm going to lose him, like I lost his sister. I have a lot of fears built up around the NICU at my hospital due to the trauma I experienced the night Ellie died. But in a rational sense, I still know it was the best place for her to be, and would be the best place for him to be if he should need to be there. There are things we will prepare for this time that we didn't last time. For example, we bought 2 tablets, so we could have continuous Skype from the NICU up to my room if baby and I need to be separated. Expensive? Yes. Fueled by paranoia? Yes. Will it give me more peace of mind if something happens? Yes.

sisterjanet · February 2014

gertiebarden said:

I think I phrased it wrong. I think all fears/concerns are legitimate in the moment. I don't disagree with anything anyone has listed here. I just don't think I'd look back at my birthing experience in a retrospective sense and regret any of the decisions/choices/events if I end up leaving with a healthy baby.

***loss mentioned***

I am, in fact, terrified that my baby will need to go to the NICU. I'm also terrified that I'm going to lose him, like I lost his sister. I have a lot of fears built up around the NICU at my hospital due to the trauma I experienced the night Ellie died. But in a rational sense, I still know it was the best place for her to be, and would be the best place for him to be if he should need to be there. There are things we will prepare for this time that we didn't last time. For example, we bought 2 tablets, so we could have continuous Skype from the NICU up to my room if baby and I need to be separated. Expensive? Yes. Fueled by paranoia? Yes. Will it give me more peace of mind if something happens? Yes.

That makes sense. I wish I could know that I would be able to look back on whatever happens and not have regret. I can still feel the sad-and-let-down feeling that I had after I agreed to the epidural with Benjamin, and knowing that it's a fairly ridiculous thing to be sad about doesn't help.

big hugs, and I hope everything is boring and standard in the best way possible for you this time.

Dellaramsey · February 2014

I will take a shower and wash my hair before we go to the hospital. I didn't with DD and felt disgusting.

Kind of opposite of most of you, I won't be so quick to turn supplemental formula if it means baby and I both get some rest.

daizijayne · February 2014

If things start the way they did last time, meaning my water breaks and I go for hours without any sort of productive contractions, I will be declining cervix checks until I am in active labor. DS was born nearly 30 hours after my water broke (thanks to pitocin), then was admitted to the NICU at 12 hours old for probable infection. He spent a week in the NICU for antibiotics, and we still to this day don't know what caused the infection. It very well could have been something that was introduced during those 30 hours, so I would like to reduce my chances of that happening again.

ho11yday · February 2014

I don't want to be induced (not that I had a problem with it).

I don't want DH spending the night (major cranky pants).

I don't want to be pushed to breastfeed or supplement. (With DS, the nurses were constantly pushing DS onto my boob. I get it, we both need practice. But this time, I'm going to let him do his own thing. When I finally let DS do his own thing, everything seemed to work.)

I don't want to be in the hospital for 4 days.

I want a mirror so I can watch DS2 being born.

I want to touch my placenta.

I want to be more mobile (part of the reason I don't want to be induced)

tjkdlhb · February 2014

Hopefully I won't be in the hospital for 9 days. Hopefully my blood pressure won't go so high.

I would however like a similar delivery... they checked me at 5 cm... then as soon as the dr left I felt a strong urge to push. They had to call her to rush back. DD was delivered within 20 minutes of be being 5 cm. 3 pushes.

I really want that to happen again.

christieep · February 2014

cnbean said:

I just keep telling myself that its really unlikely to happen the same way twice!

This is my mantra. DS had to go to the NICU right away because I ran a fever during labor and delivery. I didn't get to see him for hours afterward. I'm hoping we have a different experience this time, I feel like I missed something not getting to hold him right away. In the long run it hasn't changed anything, but I did miss having that.

tjkdlhb · February 2014

daizijayne said:

If things start the way they did last time, meaning my water breaks and I go for hours without any sort of productive contractions, I will be declining cervix checks until I am in active labor. DS was born nearly 30 hours after my water broke (thanks to pitocin), then was admitted to the NICU at 12 hours old for probable infection. He spent a week in the NICU for antibiotics, and we still to this day don't know what caused the infection. It very well could have been something that was introduced during those 30 hours, so I would like to reduce my chances of that happening again.

I think they do an automatic C-section here 24 hours after your water breaks to avoid infection.

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