I can't believe it's finally happened (BFP mentioned not mine)

Myrtis06 · February 2014

I'm going to be honest ... over the last 3.5 years I have judged people who complain when others announce their pregnancies. Well, I can no longer do it since it has finally happened to me!

We have some good friends who got married a couple months ago. My husband came home from work last night to tell me that his buddy called to say that his wife is pregnant. And for the first time in my life I was SAD! My husband gave me a big hug and I went to bed, and cried.

I feel foolish but I think the emotions are exacerbated by a conversation DH and I had the other night. After my follicle scan I called my DH and told him what the doc said about moving on to IUI if this cycle is a bust. I felt very uneasy the rest of the day. DH and I had a heart to heart that night and I confessed that I don't know if I want to move on to IUIs. DH said he's not sure either. So we talked about it for quite a while, and I was a mess because I didn't expect myself to actually not want to do IUIs. We haven't completely ruled the idea out but if this cycle is a failure then we'll take some time to really think, talk, pray about it to see if it's a good move for us and to make sure we're ready for such a big commitment financially and emotionally ... even these Clomid cycles have been a toll on the emotions.

Oh boy, I didn't mean to turn this into a pity party! What I wanted to really know was ... When was the first time you ever felt sad with a pregnancy announcement and how have you dealt with subsequent announcements from friends?

clarissadwright82 · February 2014

Hi!! *hugs*....I'm going thru this now...My bestie who got married in September told me that she thought she would have issues ttc because of a past abortion. I comforted her and told her that it will happen when God is ready for it to happen....(she told she was preggo a couple weeks ago), my cousin, who also has PCOS and ttc cried on my shoulder telling me that she thinks she can't have kids...(she told me she was preggo a week ago). I had my cry, my pity party, and i focused on some other things in my life (for me weight loss is a big thing right now)...there's really no "good" answer to that question, but know that you have a sounding board with people who can relate to the same emotions.

supermorena · February 2014

Sorry you're having a rough time. I can relate to what you're going through. Most of the time I'm very happy for my friends who are pregnant and having babies, but it does remind me of my aching heart and what I don't have. I have to remind myself over and over that it's OK to have any feelings that I'm feeling. What we're going through is such an emotional rollercoaster.

I also am in the same boat as you as far as treatment. My doc just told me Monday it's time to move onto iui. I know this is probably what we need to do to get pregnant, but every other day my moral compass points a different direction on the issue.

Good luck to you and your hubby in deciding how to move forward!

ebwhit · February 2014

Big hugs, I'm sorry this happened to you. My first pregnancy announcement was from my BIL and SIL just two weeks after my first miscarriage. I was raginly angry because they said for years that they did not ever want kids and it was an accident. (Also I'm pretty sure he was a 50 shades baby but that's just me being petty.) so now they have a happy and healthy one year old and here we are...still trying. I still struggle with my relationship with them since it was DH's identical twin brother an my nephew looks EXACTLY like them. it doesn't help that SIL and I were never very close. Since then my best friend has married, gotten pregnant and given birth all within our TTC time and an onslaught of other random people. It sucks, every time. I'm really sorry you had to go through it for the first time. just be kind to yourself.

I'm sorry you guys are also struggling with the idea of IUI, does your insurance not cover it?

ronniesgirl1981 · February 2014

I'm sorry! You are so not alone!

jszy10 · February 2014

Ugh...worst feeling in the world

but you are certainly not alone. [[hugs]]

The first time I got upset was when a co-worker of mine (who started TTC at the same time as we did) announced hers. Her due date was less than a week before my first was due...and I just lost it. I have been struggling ever since!

jencity9 · February 2014

Oh I don't even remember, it's been so long. We took a while to really commit to fertility stuff so we stared trying in 2006 which means anyone I know who has like a 6 y/o or younger (which feels like so so many babies) is one that it was hard for me to hear about. But it does seem to matter who it is and how they act. For some people it is way more difficult and for some it was just a tiny sting.

RunCC37 · February 2014

They all seem to hit me a different way. Sometimes I can just roll my eyes and say, here we go again, of COURSE another coworker is pregnant. Other times, it really wrecks my day. The worst was finding out one of my BFFs was pregnant the night before my IVF transfer was canceled.

chickysue · February 2014

Hugs. IF sucks.

Myrtis06 · February 2014

Thanks, ladies. You all have the nicest things to say. I'm glad I'm not alone in how I feel. I've talked with a couple different people now, including my mom. My mom did Clomid/TI cycles to have all three of us so we talked about what they would have done if they had to have gone to IUI. This is the first time in a long time mom was really open about it and said not to give up hope. DH is off talking to a couple of his friends who are fathers today too, so we're both doing what we need to in order to start making some official decisions together.

@ebwhit We are completely OOP so that's a big factor for us.

SamanthaLaura16 · February 2014

((Hugs)) Believe me I never wanted to be one of those people, I mean common none of us do. I am so happy for my friends when I hear they are expecting but I hate the jealous feelings that come along with it. I feel like such a monster. I have definetly learned to remove my self from certain situations and to put myself and my family first. Believe me you are not alone.

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