Anyone else still waiting on first steps? — The Bump
March 2013 Moms

Anyone else still waiting on first steps?

RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
250 Answers 500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary
edited February 2014 in March 2013 Moms
Jake is showing absolutely no desire to stand or walk right now, and it hit me in the gut because my friend's daughter, who is a month younger, took her first unassisted steps today, and it seems like there's a new post on here every day it seems of another mother announcing her baby began walking. Also, he's one of the oldest babies in his DC room, but, besides the two newest additions who are weeks old, he's the only one not standing up or walking yet. And every time we go to church or I talk to a coworker we haven't seen in awhile, they ask if he's walking yet. And i feel like a failure by saying no.

On one level, I know parents should never compare their babies to other babies...but I can't help but feel like I've failed him on some level because he doesn't even seem to want to try. He's just over a month from being considered developmentally delayed, and I'm nervous because I'm not sure we can afford the PT his ped is going to order if it gets to that point. There's also a part of me that is mad at him for not wanting to stand or walk while babies we know who are his age or younger seem to have no problem with it...and then I feel like a terrible mother for putting any fault onto him at all.

In my head, I know I'm overreacting and thinking the wrong way. "Just be patient, he'll walk when he's ready."...but I'm growing tired of "being patient" while all the babies around us seem to be cruising along in their development. The mothers of the babies in his daycare class didn't have to wait this long for their babies to be ready. Neither did my friend. So why do I?
Thanks for letting me vent. I just needed to get that out.
 
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Re: Anyone else still waiting on first steps?

  • I hate when people say be patient.  It is frustrating.  I don't know anybody who doesn't have that little voice(in some cases very loud voice) in the back of their heads that compares kids.  I know that people don't mean to do it but it happens.  A month is a long time at this age.  Just think about how much he has changed in 1month in the past.  
    He is probably going to take off running any day now but until then try to encourage walking.  Have you tried to hold his hands and "make" him walk? 

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  • It may sound nutty, but have you talked toa chiropractor? My coworker said he was concerned when his son was not walking. They took him to a local chiropractor who had worked on infants and children.
    One small adjustment was made and the next day he walked. No therapy, no check up.
    Babies get all squished trying to escape the womb. Maybe worth looking into.
  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited February 2014
    pavlovcat said:
    Developmentally delayed?!  I'm assuming that's because he's not standing, right?  Because tons of babies aren't walking yet.  Mine sure isn't. 

    Does he crawl?  Does he have good muscle tone? 

    Also, why do you want him to walk?  You know that is the final barrier to having to expend your last bit of energy chasing around your child, right? 

    I dread the day my daughter walks.  We're going to have to move into a padded room to maintain our sanity.

    In terms of gross motor development, yes, my doc says they consider the label after 1 year if he is not even trying to stand. As for crawling, not traditional crawling, but he does scoot on his belly. He also has low muscle tone.

    I also know in my head that I should not wish away his non-walking period....but I'm more worried that something is wrong with him, or that I'm failing him in some way. I'd chase him all over the house to know that's not the case. I coukd really use the exercise anyways. ;)
     
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  • I hate when people say be patient.  It is frustrating.  I don't know anybody who doesn't have that little voice(in some cases very loud voice) in the back of their heads that compares kids.  I know that people don't mean to do it but it happens.  A month is a long time at this age.  Just think about how much he has changed in 1month in the past.  
    He is probably going to take off running any day now but until then try to encourage walking.  Have you tried to hold his hands and "make" him walk? 

    Yes, we have stood him up behind the coffee table and rested his upper body on it to get him to stand assisted. He even has this push toy that my husband has stood him against and tried to move him along.
     
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  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited February 2014
    He does have a Bounce Bounce Baby that he loves, and he has been in the one at daycare. It doesn't seem to be impeding their walking, and my friend whose DD just took her first steps spends quite a bit of time in a jumperoo...so I doubt that's it. He only spends about 10 minutes at a tine in it, anyway. He gets kind of bored and fussy after that. He actually spends more time on the floor, whether he's army crawling or rolling. He moves around pretty efficiently that way, so I'm thankful for that. We also set him up with a bunch of toys that he bounces between. Like I said, he's on the floor about 80% of the waking time he's not in our arms.
     
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  • A girl I graduated w her daughter was standing at 6m and walking by 8m. I sat there and was le why isn't DS walking and he's 3m older. But they all start at different speeds. My nephew didn't walk until 13m. DS is taking a few steps here and there. He'll be 1 on March 5.
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  • My daughter isn't really standing or walking either. She didn't start crawling until 9 months, but now she's a pro, so I'm not too concerned. I know she'll do it in her own time. About a month ago, she was trying to stand a little bit, but now she doesn't want to try. We try to stand her up on the floor, but she immediately goes to her knees or pulls her legs up! She just doesn't want to. Oh well, what can you do? Try not to worry.
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  • No one in my family walked before 14 months (I was 15.5 mo)... Most of us are engineers with good/high level degrees so I don't think walking late will have that big of an effect. On that note, my daughter just started CRAWLING the day she turned 11 months (which was yesterday).
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  • If I were you, I would do some research as to what PT for gross motor development entails and try to to some of the stuff at home on your own. A chiro might be a good idea too, DD has been to the chiro twice and I think it has been good for her in many ways.

    Developmental milestone timing tends to run in families, so maybe drs should start comparing babies development to that of their own family members and their local socioeconomic groups instead of mass data collecting across the country and the world??? LOL Seriously, babies develop differently in so many ways.

    I understand that you are stressed about this, I would be to. I have very competitive parents and grandparents who raised me to take that kind of comparing seriously and to beat myself up over any tiny thing that might make me feel like I wasn't doing enough. I have had to pull the reigns in a lot as far as that goes and to chill out about it. After all, I do not want to pass on that burdensome perfectionist attitude to my child.

    Worrying isn't going to solve anyone's problems. Talk to your pedi about your concerns, ask for some pointers and make a point of doing your own PT daily at home if you and your pedi feel that there will be good in doing so.
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  • Babies are not developmentally delayed if they don't walk unless they are 18 months or beyond.  However, not crawling, not pulling up, and not being able to be propped very well are reasons to be concerned.  If your baby has low muscle tone, it isn't your fault and may need to be observed/treated.  If in the US, you may qualify  for Early Intervention, which people love, and is free.  If you do see a physical therapist, they will say "no jumparoos!" and no other things like that.  They hate them and think it interferes with development.  Only floortime on back, sitting, and especially tummy.  There is no reason to fear evaluation and getting help.  And there will always be someone who seems to have fewer problems than you no matter how lucky you are--stay away from facebook.  It IS useful to compare babies and know milestones so you can get help.  It is NOT useful to let it make you feel bad just because someone's baby is ahead on a milestone or your baby needs helps to develop his muscles.
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