Secrets and lies from your parents!?

diagonalley · February 2014

So recently on the radio (Elvis Duran, anyone?) they were talking about things that your parents kept from you or lied about to you, and later you found out the truth. Has this ever happened to anyone? Share your story!

diagonalley · February 2014

During our engagement party my mom was having a discussion with someone about animals and kids and happened to mention, as we are about to toast, that she had to give our dog away when we were little because he would pee everywhere in protest of his loss of attention, among other poor behaviors. My parents had always told me he was hit by a car. Mind. Blown. I guess they figured that if we knew he was still alive we would have wanted him back?

nunzchucks · February 2014

Aw, @megk82

((hug))

babygabe614 · February 2014

We had a dog for less than a year when I was a kid and my mom said because we were both away at school/work so much it wasn't fair to keep him so she gave him to a family that had a farm and other dogs he could play with... I have always questioned this story and while my mom still to this day sticks to it, DH and I both think she brought him to the pound or something.

hjl050308 · February 2014

We found out when we were older that my dad is my moms second husband. She married her first fresh out if high school and he was killed in Vietnam. She married my dad 2 years later.

curlylocks3 · February 2014

Mine is way more light-hearted, but my parents convinced me that our TV only worked during the hour Sesame Street was on and then again after bedtime (the news, whatever they wanted to watch). I believed this for an incredibly long time.

k2k2tog · February 2014

When I was 7 or 8, my parents took away my security blanket in an effort to get me to stop sucking my thumb. They told me they burned it because it was completely falling apart. I never really believed them. I once found a strand of it in our sand box and went on a digging tirade, convinced they had buried it.

They gave it back to me at my wedding.

momof5sept18 · February 2014

Aww, I'm sorry @MegK82

My parents were always honest with me. They would sugar coat things for my older siblings but I got the blunt truth from them on everything. But I was okay with that because it was easier not to see my older siblings stress about certain things.

curlylocks3 · February 2014

@sempre_staccato I'm glad you got it back! I still use my security blanket when I fly. I try to pass it off as being just the perfect size and very convenient since it can be folded up so easily into my carry on.

nunzchucks · February 2014

My mom told me she was allergic to dogs because she didn't want us to keep asking for one. In reality she thought they were too much trouble.

Read247 · February 2014

My mom never lied about anything serious. But when I was 16 she told me it was illegal to drive in cleats and high heels so I always kept a pair of flip flops in the car to drive in. I didn't know she was lying until I was in my 20s...

Mztwilson · February 2014

No one ever told me my dad was a drunk. My parents weren't together do it wasn't hard for him to hide it from me. I only wish he would've gotten help before it was to late.

bebemac · February 2014

Not too long ago I found out the details of my parents' divorce. I wish I never would have known, because it put my father in a bad light. I was 10 when he passed away, and you know how there's that whole thing where, in your mind, a person is kind of a saint once they die and could do no wrong? It was kind of hard to reconcile that duality. My mom actually gave me her wedding ring years ago, and I cherished it. Then I ended up losing it (at a club whilst trashed, gah!) and felt horrible. Given the details of the divorce, my remorse over losing the ring turned into gladness, as it was simply a symbol of all that my mom suffered during the marriage. Also if I were to have had a boy it was always known in my mind that he would have my father's name. This also made me rethink that idea, and as it turns out, my son will not have my father's name after all.

Just to be clear, my mom did not go on a dad bashing rampage in the least, it was a very matter of fact conversation where she just gave me a few details and a little glimpse into what happened.

k2k2tog · February 2014

curlylocks3 said:

@sempre_staccato I'm glad you got it back! I still use my security blanket when I fly. I try to pass it off as being just the perfect size and very convenient since it can be folded up so easily into my carry on.

Well... they gave it back and then I left it shoved in a dresser in my old bedroom at their house. The 16 year gap pretty thoroughly broke any bond I have with that blanket, though I think I'd have a really hard time letting them throw it out! Come to think of it, I should probably rescue it from their house...

ktwils2010 · February 2014

My mom kept a HUGE secret for a very very long time. She married my dad when she was 22 and had me and my two sisters and then they adopted 4 boys. About 10 years ago she was in a very close friendship with another woman. Well turns out my mom is gay. She and my dad talked about it then and she decided to stay with him, end the friendship/relationship for us kids. Well 2 years ago she decided she couldn't do it anymore. She came out to all of us, our extended families, friends - everyone and my parents are currently getting a divorce. So yeah, there was that....

ETA - on a lighter note, I thought I caught my first fish as a child and there is a picture to prove it. Apparently they just stuck a fish someone else had caught onto the hook and let me think I had done it... Until I was 24.

Mztwilson · February 2014

@ktwils2010 that's tough

diagonalley · February 2014

LilNunz1 said:

My mom told me she was allergic to dogs because she didn't want us to keep asking for one. In reality she thought they were too much trouble.

My parents told us this, too! And then when I was in high school we got a puppy and had 2 cats. I guess it stopped our incessant begging as young children though?

owlcup · February 2014

Another animal one: When I was 12 my parents told us they were taking our dog to a "dog retirement farm" before we moved out of state. They actually put him to sleep. He was 14, had a plethora of health issues, etc. But still. Here we thought he was going to live out the rest of his life happy and he was actually dead.

ElTrain5 · February 2014

My mom told us our dog "Heidi" went to a farm to play with other dogs when she actually had her put down (old/sick). We were discussing it a few years back and my older sister (about 25 at the time) casually said "Oh, yeah, Heidi went to a farm, I wonder what ever happened to her". My mom and I just looked at each other. Then I had to break the news to her. Again, she was 25....

erind228 · February 2014

LilNunz1 said:
My mom told me she was allergic to dogs because she didn't want us to keep asking for one. In reality she thought they were too much trouble.

This, except it was cats. My Dad also had an affair with the lady I babysat for in college for 10 years, and lied about it up until the year before he married her. That was about a year and a half ago. Yay Dad!

babygabe614 · February 2014

Ugh my heart breaks for all of you who learned the dark sides of your families years later. I have a similar story that I'm a bit too hesitant/fearful to share right now, but just want you to know I can sympathize and feel for every one of you.

Mztwilson · February 2014

@babygabe614 I hear you on that. It's amazing the secrets a seemingly normal family can hide.

katekat8721 · February 2014

My parents were always pretty truthful with us. Or else they're still lying their asses off.... who knows lol.

But I do know that they had my convinced for YEARS that the car wouldn't start unless your seat belt was fastened. It took me awhile to connect empty seats + no seat belt fastened still made the car drive just fine.

tbmadeamistake · February 2014

I knew that my mother had a miscarriage between me and my little brother. The other day we were talking pregnancy and I said something about her miscarriage and she replied with, "I told you I had a miscarriage before I met your father?!" Um, no, no you did not. No judgement, but ooooh new information giving me insight into my mother.

bumpuser9343355 · February 2014

When I was fifteen my dad told me he never wanted to have kids and that my mom tricked him into staying with her by getting pregnant. I waited until I was in college before relaying that story to my mom, who didn't really deny it. She did pick that time to tell me that my dad cheated on her when I was three weeks old and that's when she kicked him out.

I'm glad that I was able to tell, even as a teenager, that whatever the situation may have been, telling your child that you never wanted to have her was a pretty shitty thing to do. I haven't really talked to him since.

On a lighter note, my mom always told us that she would never, ever do drugs. Once we all graduated from high school, she told us she only "Smoked the pot every other time it came around the circle." The way she said it made was priceless.

owlcup · February 2014

ElTrain5 said:
My mom told us our dog "Heidi" went to a farm to play with other dogs when she actually had her put down (old/sick). We were discussing it a few years back and my older sister (about 25 at the time) casually said "Oh, yeah, Heidi went to a farm, I wonder what ever happened to her". My mom and I just looked at each other. Then I had to break the news to her. Again, she was 25....

Why do parents do this?! I was pregnant with DD when I found out my parents lied and cried all night! I loved that dog!

FutureMrsW9 · February 2014

So mine isn't really anything scandalous, but my dad got drunk this past summer and revealed to my younger sister that my mom miscarried in 1994 (I was 10, sister was 6 at the time). We had no idea until now (and we're 29 and 25). It's more sad than anything, and I could see not telling a child about that if they didn't need to know, but to never tell us even as adults I thought was kinda strange....especially knowing that DH and I were trying to get pregnant, it's always good to know family history, even though miscarriage can happen to anyone, still probably a good thing to be aware of.

crewkate · February 2014

Sort of a secret; when I was in I think 8th grade, my mom picked me and my little bro up from school and took us straight to the doctor for blood tests. She wouldn't tell us why, and was clearly angry at us, even when we were crying etc she wouldn't say. We found out that night she thought we had been smoking pot. She had found a tin of dried herbs in my brothers room - it was catnip he had for our cat! We were still pretty pissed, but now laugh about it.

kimberly11511 · February 2014

My parents lied about how many years they had been married. They always would say it was one more than it actually was. I was in college when my aunt slipped and told me they were married in 1985 not 1984. They really did not want me to know that my mom was 6 months pregnant when they got married.

robbinrl · February 2014

My family is boring...but DH found out 3 years ago that his step-dad had a son in his early 20s and signed over his parental rights when he was a toddler.

MIL married his step dad when DH was 5 ish. He lived at his mom's except for the summers when he was out of state at his dad's so he and his younger brother were pretty close to their step dad. Also MIL and stepFIL had twin boys when DH was 8 and all the brothers are close.

There years ago at a family reunion for stepFIL's side one of the cousins mentioned this son's name and DH asked who they were talking about. Apparently, stepFIL's GF found out she was pg after they broke up and when the baby was born she was seriously dating someone else and asked stepFIL to let the new BF adopt him. I guess his son spent sometime with stepFILs family bc a lot of the cousins had met him when he was a baby/toddler.

The part I think is weird is that DH's stepFIL had told DH's twin brothers at some point and told them not to tell DH or BIL. DH hasn't said anything to stepFIL or MIL and DH's twin brothers have no interest in finding out more about their half brother. We just don't understand why it is a big secret from DH and BIL when the rest of the family seems to know especially now that they are adults.

LegalLadyBug · February 2014

skamber said:
Not really a lie I was told, but my husband loves the story of when I was little getting ready for a bath, and I pinched my nipples and got to the point where I was screaming "WHAT ARE THESE?" at my mom. She wouldn't tell me.

DD does this lol. She discovered them this past summer and was convinced they were bug bites that needed some itch cream. I was just honest with her and explained what they were and that everyone has them. She still points then out and asks about them sometimes haha :-)

I don't really have any secrets I found out, my parents were pretty blunt...except with each other. I let my mom in on a secret about my dad in high school. He had been having an affair with his best friends wife and would take trips with me and her and her kids. My mom suspected something so I told her the truth about what was going on. My dad was so angry with me but whatever, he was the one cheating openly in front of his kids.

coffee89 · February 2014

My grandmother died when I was maybe 7. I was never given a reason for it, eventually my mom spill to me that she was bi-polar and committed suicide. Even as an adult I'm not allowed to talk about it because my dad wants to keep the lie up that she just got sick.

justme04 · February 2014

I grew up on a farm and have had several dogs. My parents would wait forever to tell my sister and I that one of the dogs had run away or got hit by a car. Especially if it happened while we were at summer camp. The dogs usually stayed in the barn and would come an go as they pleased this is our excuse for not realizing for weeks that they were missing.

I found out after my grandpa died in February 2011 that he got my grandma pregnant with their youngest child of 6 and then left her and lived with another woman and didn't return until my uncle had graduated high school. I always kinda wondered why my dad (who was the oldest) seemed to have a protective urge toward my grandma and was kind of cold toward his father.

I also found out that my fav uncle on my father's side is a pretty big pot head and used to grow pot. My mom and sister both looked at me like I was crazy for not picking it up. Lol.

I can't think of any more right now. I'm blonde and Polish so they got away with a lot I'm sure...

TheMrs820 · February 2014

Read247 said:
My mom never lied about anything serious. But when I was 16 she told me it was illegal to drive in cleats and high heels so I always kept a pair of flip flops in the car to drive in. I didn't know she
was lying until I was in my 20s...

</
div>

My mom did the same thing!

They also told us that if we swallowed toothpaste our teeth would turn black.

Silvermystique13 · February 2014

Wow, I don't have any as scandalous as these. About the only thing (that I know of!) that would come close is finding out that my dad's dad (my Pap) was married to someone overseas while in the military and had a daughter before marrying my Grossie (shortened German for grandmother), and they had to wait til my Pap's ex-wife died before they could get married in the church. My parents were always pretty honest with me, my mom would tell me little lies sometimes, like one time when I was little, and we were eating something, I asked her if this one piece was an onion, and she lied and said it was cheese to get me to eat it, lol. One weird thing my mom always told me, she would tell me that I should always keep my feet warm while I was on my period, it would make my period go easier, and I never questioned it. I mentioned it to one of my friends a few months ago, and she was like, that doesn't do anything, why would she tell you that?

allrightmeow · February 2014

MegK82 said:

no, but I always wished my parents had lied to me and that I was adopted or that my mom had gotten pregnant by someone other than my dad.

This made me aww too.

Meg

My sister was/and still can be awful. I used to beg my mom to tell me that she stole her as a baby and say it wasn't to late to give her back.

chrissy1013 · February 2014

Mine is fairly light.....

Being that I was the first grandchild on both sides of the family, my grandparents certainly spoiled me with gifts. When I would see a toy I wanted on TV, I would ask my mom to take me to Toys R Us so we could buy it and I would get upset when she said no. At that time, the Toys R Us stores were brightly painted on the outside with stripes, so I could always tell when we were driving by one and would pester her. Finally, she lied to me and told me Toys R Us caught fire and burnt down, so we wouldn't be able to buy any new toys until it was rebuilt. When we would pass one, she would distract me and divert my attention. She told me that one time, we were at the grocery store and I mentioned that Toys R Us caught fire and another shopper stopped my mom to ask her what I was talking about and mom fessed up. The lady told her the story was genius and she was going to tell her sons the same thing, lol. I still get a laugh out of it.

temursgirl · February 2014

My mom (and many of her relatives) are either compulsive liars or have an alternate perception of reality, I'm not sure.

My mom told me I was allergic to chocolate. I'm not. No one in my family is. That one was easy to find out.

She made up such a complicated lie about why she couldn't get me covered by insurance so I couldn't get a driver's license it took me years to completely unravel. I started unraveling the story when I was 18, but I think I was at least 24 before I got the full extent.

She told me I had had cavities in every tooth. I asked about an x-ray in high school and found out I'd never had even one! I still have no idea why she would say that!

She told me I couldn't be friends with a girl in my class because her mother was an alcoholic. I thought it might be true between ages 7 and 9 or so, but to this day I've never seen/heard any evidence to support that.

She said my dad was an alcoholic. He's just not. But I worried about it a lot at the time.

She told me that women who have male lovers would be arrested and executed. I assume the details were to prevent me from asking about the gay man down the street. That one didn't take long to figure out.

My grandfather never told my father he was of Swedish background, but always said British. My dad has a generic last name but a stereotypical Swedish given name and everyone always asked why. My grandfather would never say, which is especially odd since my mom was also half Swedish. My dad found out recently while cleaning out my grandfather's papers.

Kinipela7 · February 2014

They told me my pet rabbit died, but in reality it didn't die - they gave it away (because I wasn't taking care of it - I was 10)

I found out when out of the blue we were discussing our past pets and I mentioned that it died - then my mom was like "no it didn't we gave it to so-and-so". She forgot that she told me it died.

MrsCase1 · February 2014

My dad has, like, 15 siblings between full- and half-blood siblings. I don't recall all the details but like a year ago someone was looking for my dad on FB but another, younger man came up with the same name. No big deal, except the guy looked exactly like my grandfather and had a photo on FB with my grandfather. Turns out, my grandfather had another son that he was keeping quiet. Son was a result of an affair. Here is where it gets weird: my dad recognized the guy's mother as someone my dad knew since he was a teenager. So, not only did he have a half-sibling out there, but the half-sibling has the same exact legal name as my dad and grandfather, despite the sibling's mother KNOWING my dad for thirty years and knowing a "Jr" already existed before she named her own son. Shady.

elsa1688 · February 2014

I have so many scandalous things but I will stick with the funny today: my dad names both of us girls without input from my mom. My name is Ornella, which is not common, even in Italy.
My dad told my mom it was after a famous singer, but when I was about 10 he got drunk and told a friend I was really named after a woman he used to date. My mom was livid and he completely denied it sober.

After she passed, he finally admitted it was after a woman he briefly dated and she was a very smart, independent, accomplished doctor. I think it's funny but I can't believe he got away with that for 20+ years.

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