TTC After a Loss

My heart is broken ***bfp, loss warning***

***bfp, loss warning*** I need the love and support of the only people who know how much this shit hurts. 


On Thursday morning I was 15DPO. I had some mild cramps, but no other signs of AF so I POA Wondfo. It was positive. It was light, but not squinty. At noon on Thursday, I POA Wondfo and FRER digital. The Wondfo was positive, but the FRER was negative. I thought maybe there wasn't enough hormone in my system yet to turn a digital positive since it was afternoon pee. Friday morning I POA Wondfo and FRER digital and both were negative. I called my doctor and she ordered lab work. 

Friday night at 8pm, my doctor called to confirm that I was pregnant but hcg and progesterone were low (I didn't ask for specific numbers on purpose). She prescribed prometrium and we rushed out to get it filled before the pharmacy closed. I came home, started a dose, and went to bed.

I woke up through the night with cramps and laid there for a few hours wishing they would go away. By 3am when the cramping wasn't getting any better, I got up to face what I had been dreading. By the time the sun rose, I had passed a few clots. It was over before it had barely begun.

I go in waves between disbelief and shock and suffocating pain. We spent Thursday in limbo, wondering if it was false positive or what. There was only about 8 hours from the time it was confirmed through blood work until it was over. Did this really happen? I'm heartbroken. 

Thank you to @redtwizzlers for posting Special Hugs for me today. It gave me one less thing to think about.


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Re: My heart is broken ***bfp, loss warning***

  • Oh uneek (((((hugs))))). I have no words. I am so, so incredibly sorry you and your H are going through this.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
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  • Oh no. I'm so, so sorry. :(

    Be kind to yourself.


     

    TTC since July 2012 
    BFP 5/22/13. Lap. to remove ectopic and dx with endo. 6/16/13

    RE consult: June 2014

    DX: FVL, endo, hypothyroidism, blocked left tube

    Oct. 2014: First treatment cycle: Clomid+trigger+IUI=BFN

    November 2014: Clomid+trigger+IUI again=BFP!

    BFP 11/28/14 MC discovered 1/14/15

    Blogging to stay sane

  • Oh, uneek, I'm so incredibly sorry and heartbroken. So many huge (((hugs))) 
    TTC Our Rainbow Since May 2011

    BFP#1 9/9/12 -- EDD 5/14/13 -- MMC 10/10/12 Miso 10/19/12

    BFP #2 9/17/13 -- EDD 5/25/14-- CP confirmed 9/21/13
     BFP #3
    2/1/14 -- EDD 10/5/14 -- NMC 2/10/14

    Dx: low progesterone & mild hypothyroidism

    My Chart

    4e41feae2813d8779361f4b4a13b4b 1

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    ~*~All AL Welcome~*~


  • I am so so sorry.



    imageimageimage
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    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14

    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


  • Oh uneek. I'm so very sorry to hear this. :( It's the worst to feel that potential hope only to have it taken away. I'm so so sorry. I'm sending you hugs and love. Take good care of yourself.
    ----
    *I am no longer regularly posting on TB because of the fucked up debacle of Jan 2015 when administrators banned long-term members and mods with no notice and completely dismantled a community full of women who cared about each other.  If you see me posting it's only to give support to a poster who needs it or to post something important enough that I need to say.  I am no longer responding to  anything other than issues that affect people who I care about*
    37 years old, MH is 42
    TTC since 2010; Dx Unexplained Infertility; possible male factor 
    August 2012 through June 2013:  6 IUIs with clomid and trigger shot, all BFNs
    7/2013, Pregnant! Unmedicated--we were on a treatment break
    8/20/13 no heart beat; 8/23/13 d&c
    3/15/14 IVF #1:  Lupron/Follistim/Menopur; ER 3/10 resulting in four transfer grade blastocysts, transferred one pretty blast and froze the remaining three. BFN. 
    Natural FET in May cancelled because the universe hates me my hormones were not cooperating.
    6/24/14 FET #1: transferred two pretty embryos; BFN   
    8/28/14 FET #2: BFP, ended in Chemical pregnancy

    Done with medical intervention and getting used to the idea of CFNBC.  




    All welcome
  • That sounds like quite the whirlwind you went through. I am so sorry.
  • Huge ((((hugs)))). I'm so sorry love. I hate that you're going through this.

    TTC since April 2012

    BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013

    BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013

    6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)

    IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab

    IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos

    IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos

    IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!

    FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN

    Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus

    IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos



    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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    Everyone welcome on my posts






  • oh Uneek, I'm so incredibly sorry. This is so unfair. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
  • I am so sad to read this - so, so heartbroken for you. Sending you a million hugs right now. I'm just so sorry and wish there was something more I could say or do.

    dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


     <dream 2> 12.2011


     2.10.12 : 4 weeks


    6.17.12 : 10 weeks


    10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


    12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


    4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


    10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


    4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


    6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


     </dream 2>


     resolve.org


    AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


    "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

    lyrics

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    ***All always welcome!!***

  • ((((Hugs))))

    I'm so, so very sorry Uneek.

    BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

    DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

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  • I'm so so unbelievably sorry. I hate that anyone has to go though this.

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

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    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


  • I am so sorry! My heart breaks for you! Sending so many hugs and much love your way!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm so very sorry, Uneek. This just isn't fair. Huge ((((HUGS))))

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    My Ovulation Chart
    TTC since March 2012 
    BFP #1 1/29/13, EDD 10/9/13 
    MMC discovered at 10 weeks (baby measured 9 weeks) D&C on 3/16/13 
    BFP #2  CP on 3/31/14
    BFP #3  8/11/14  EDD 4/22/14
  • I've had many people tell me some pretty shitty things. "Well, you were only pregnant for a day" "You're used to this by now anyway" "At least you weren't that far along" That adds to the pain, and I had to come back to you guys. To people who would understand me. 
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    ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~
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  • I am so very, very sorry.
  • Oh uneek I am so sorry. People need to learn to think before they speak and not be so insensitive. (((Hugs)))
  • I'm very sorry. :(

    Married 11/21/2018

    Me: 33 / DH: 33

    TTC #1 since 2012, finally successful in 2016

    BFP 11/29/2013 - EDD 8/9/2014 - MMC 12/31/2013 8 weeks 2 days - Tried to MC naturally for 4 weeks, D&C 2/2/2014

    IUI 01/25/2016 - BFP 2/5/2016 - Natural Home Delivery to our DD 10/8/2016

    IUD removed 10/3/2018 

    Ready to TTC for #2

    TTGP Siggy Challenge-Thanksgiving Dinner Fails:
  • I'm so sorry uneek... And I am so sorry that you had to deal with insensitive comments. So many hugs

    BFP: 9/21/13 | EDD:5/31/14 | MC confirmed:11/6/13 | D&C:11/12/13
    BFP: 1/14/14 | EDD: 9/21/14 | MC confirmed: 2/3/14 | D&C: 2/4/14
    DX 3/18/14 (Complete) Septate Uterus | Resection 4/22/14
    BFP: 8/5/14 | EDD: 4/19/15
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • Oh hun (((((hugs))))) So many hugs.  I'm so sorry.  No words can make it better but know we're here if you need us <3  
    Married the love of my life June 18, 2011 -- Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
    RPL Testing. DX Asherman's November 2013. Low AMH (0.44) January 2014. 
    Operative Hysteroscopy January 2014 to remove scar tissue.
    BFP#4 6.18.14 EDD 3.3.15 Team Pink
    --AL always welcome--
        image  
  • I'm so very sorry. ((Hugs))
    BFP #1 09/26/2013 EDD 06/04/2013 MMC 11/01/2013
    BFP #2 05/15/2014 EDD 01/24/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker


  • I'm very sorry, extra tight ((hugs)) for those hurtful people.

    "Love is what makes pain bearable." - I love you my Angels. 
    **All After a Loss Welcome**
    BFP #1: 6/25/09 EDD 2/13/10 @ 6 weeks- Saw HB @ 9 weeks - DS born 2/11/10 (39w5d)
    BFP #2: 2/20/13 EDD 11/4/13 - Saw HB 3/19/13 (7w2d) - MMC discovered 4/13/13 (10w5d) - Est. loss @ 9w3d - D&C 4/14/13
    BFP #3: 12/19/13 (4 w1d) EDD 8/27/14 - 1/1/14 discovered it was ectopic/ tube had burst/ had surgery to remove tube (@ 6 weeks)
    BFP #4: 9/10/14 (3w6d) EDD 5/21/15 - natural MC 9/23/14 @ 5w5d
    BFP #5: 11/23/14 (3w3d) EDD 8/4/15 - Please be our Rainbow!
     

    BabyFruit Ticker


  • I am so, so sorry hunny. I also hate that you have to deal with people's insensitive comments on top of it all. Sending you lots of ((hugs)) take special care of yourself.

    EDD 5/2/14, NMC 9/11/13
    EDD 10/15/14, CP 2/8/14

    IF Diagnosis: PCOS, MFI 

    Current Cycle: 5 mg Femara/1000mg Metformin + TI = BFP, EDD 4/23/15 Please be our RAINBOW

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    **ALL AL/IF Welcome**
    My Chart

  • I am so sorry for your loss and you having to deal with the insensitive people. >:D<

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                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
  • Oh Uneek, I'm so sorry honey. Huge (((((HUGS))))))
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS
    6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014

    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
  • I am so sorry, huge squishy ((hugs))
    I'm 31 and DH is 36

    Started dating in 2008 and married November 10, 2012

    TTC#1 Since Oct 2012

    MC#1 5/30/2013 ~ EDD 1/4/2014 natural @ 9 weeks

    MC#2 8/12/2013 ~ EDD 4/13/2014 natural @ 5 weeks 5 days

    BFP #3 EDD 12/9/2014

    *~*~*Everybody is Welcome*~*~*

    My Ovulation Chart

    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • ((Hugs)) So sorry for your loss.
    BFP #2 3/19/14      EDD: 11/28/14
     Femara + Gonal F + Ovidrel  3/6/14  IUI #3 (plus 2x acupuncture)


    Team Pink!!

    BabyFruit Ticker


    BFP #1 7/22/13   EDD 3/29/14   MMC 8/13/13
      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     
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    ALL ARE WELCOME
  • Oh @uneek I still newbie to this board and I don't "know"you well but, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am and that I understand what you mean about finding out you're pregnant and then losing it a few hours later. That is how my ectopic went down. I had surgery less than 24 hours after finding out I was pregnant. With my chemical pregnancy I found out I was pregnant, waited in beta hell, found out beta went down, waited to miscarry but it all happened within a week.

    I felt heartbroken and blindsided. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to high jack your thread - I just understand - and I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))

    Oh and I just read the comments you've received!! Ugh! I'm pissed FOR you. So many (hugs) and love, hon.
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • Sending you so many hugs right now. So very sorry love.
    PCOS & ute crew member
    BFP #1: 10/24/2012  EDD 7/3/13, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E 
    DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
    BFP #2: 12/20/2013  EDD 9/1/14, missed m/c @ 7weeks, D&E
    BFP #3: 5/26/2014 EDD 2/7/15, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E- DX Trisomy22
    RPL, Karyotyping, and SHG: All Normal
    BFP #4: 9/6/14 EDD 5/16/15 Praying for our RAINBOW!
    image
    Baby GIRL on the way!!
    **All AL Welcome**

  • So very sorry to read this, heartbroken for you. Sending you huge (((HUGS))).

    ~ES~

    ~*~EVERYONE always welcome!!~*~
    TTC #1 since October 2012
    BFP #1 11/22/12 EDD 7/29/13 MMC 1/14/13, D&C 1/16/13
    BFP #2 5/7/13 EDD 1/14/2014 Ectopic discovered 5/21/13, lost left tube
    Referred to RE, blood work done August 2013, AMH 0.27, all else normal, HSG clear
    BFP #3 12/1/13 EDD 8/8/14, MC 12/24/13
    January 2014: RE #2, blood work repeated, homozygous MTHFR c677t, SHG clear
    BFP #4 4/7/14 EDD 12/15/14 Our rainbow was born 12/6/14 at 4:26pm! <3 


  • Uneek I am so, so sorry. Sending you all of my ((((((((hugs)))))))) right now.
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
  • Im so sorry to see this. Damn it :((

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
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  • I'm so sorry for this loss, and for the things people say. Why can't they just say "I'm so sorry" and then STFU. I hope you find comfort and peace in the days ahead. You'll be in my thoughts.
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    Married August 2009

    BFP#1 12/19/13 * EDD 8/24/14 * MMC Discovered 2/04/14

    BFP#2 5/27/14 * EDD 2/8/15 * Please be our rainbow

  • Oh uneek. My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. (((((Huge Hugs)))))
    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers


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    ***PGAL/PAL WELCOME***

     

     






        

  • I'm so sorry.. Huge (((hugs)))

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    TTC #1 since January 2013

    BFP #1: April 5, 2013; EDD December 11, 2013; Missed M/C May 15, 2013

    BFP #2: February 17, 2014; EDD October 30, 2014; M/C March 15, 2014

    BFP #3: August 1, 2014; EDD April 14, 2015 - Praying for our RAINBOW!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I'm so very sorry uneek. So many hugs for you and H ((((hugs))))

    Me: 31 * DH: 33 * TTC since Sept 2012
    Hx of Pulmonary Embolisms, Right Sided Heart Failure and Nephrotic Syndrome 2001
    Dx w/ Hashimotos 1998 * Dx w/ Systemic Lupus 2005 * Dx w/ PCOS 2012
    Began working with RE Dec 2012February 2013: Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel  BFP # 1: 2/26/13 * EDD 11/9/13 * MMC at 7w5d -- 3/27/13 * D&C 3/28/13May 2013: Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel + PIO + Lovenox  BFP # 2: 6/6/13 * EDD 2/18/14 * MMC at 11w1d -- 7/31/13 * D&C 8/1/13RPL Testing & Karotyping was normal for both of usEmbryo testing was inconclusiveBenched July 2013- January 2014 due to Lupus FlareWTF appt 2/12/14IVF is OUT and Clomid + Ovidrel + Endometrium is in... AGAINBFP # 3: 2/28/14 * EDD: 11/12/14 * CP 3/1/14TTC on our own until April 2014*A persons a person no matter how small*
    My Ovulation Chart
    imageimage
    *All PgAL/PAL Welcome*


  • I'm so sorry uneek. We are here for you. ((Hugs))

    BFP 7/16/13, EDD 3/27/14 - blighted ovum  - D&C 8/26/13
    Dx PCOS and Septate Uterus
    Septum Resection - 2/6/14
    brand new cuterus
    March 2014:   first medicated cycle + iui
    = BFP!
    Baby Drgn born December 3, 2014

    image 


  • I'm so, so very sorry. I hate this for you. Know that you are in my thoughts
      image

     

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  • Uneek. So many (((hugs))). I am so so sorry to hear this. I cannot believe that people have been so insensitive to you. Be kind to yourself.

    image

    Pregnancy Ticker

    BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.

    BFP#2 11/6/2013.  CP 11/14/2013.  

    BFP #3 12/13/2013.  Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27.  Beta #2 @17dpo - 90.  CP 12/21/2013

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:6-7

    All PgAL and PAL welcome.

  • I am so sorry you are going through this again. Hugs.
    TW loss mentioned 

    **BFP#1 9/5/12   EDD 5/15/13  changed to 5/25/13 after u/s,  missed mc 10/19/12.  D and C 10/22/12** 
     **BFP#2 9/12/13  EDD 5/16/14 changed to 5/27/14 after u/s, hb 126 on 10/11/13, miscarriage on 10/24.13**
    ~RPL testing results from 12/6/13 show everything normal except elevated prolactin. Blood work is now in the normal range. All AL welcome!
    BFP #3 10/24/14  Our rainbow baby was born July 2015
    BFP 4 10/28/19 EDD 7/6/20
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