You know your pregnant when...

laura3462 · February 2014

You have to move your car seat back so your belly is not on the sterring wheel

Your toddler is bribed to pick things off the floor for you and helps putting on your boots. So sweet of my little man.

You run to the bathroom if you feel a sneeze coming on

Rolling out of bed is now a true statement and takes a lot of effort

sitting with your legs crossed is not comfortable and you would rather sit like a dude

andoll8 · February 2014

when someone asks you: "where is ____________?" and you point the way with your protruding belly.

pistolpackinmomma · February 2014

You have to go to the chiro 2 days in a row because your ribs keep popping out. Luckily they said they can take it for me today since it's the same rib. I can't wait for my massage tomorrow! 23 hours and counting!

Mimaloo · February 2014

Turning from one side to the other in bed is like doing a 3 point turn in a car - slow, awkward and annoying.

Rocknroll64 · February 2014

No matter what bar you're wearing you have constant side boob.

MamaCheez · February 2014

Rolls are reversed and my kids have to help me put my underwear on. At least help me get them to my knees... I can take it from there. I have good girls

annabeanybee · February 2014

The answer to the question "which shoes do I wear today?" is determined less by "what matches my outfit?", and more by "which ones can I get on without having to bend over?".

PaulnLece · February 2014

When you just get finished eating and 5 minutes later your hungry again:/

ThereBeDragons · February 2014

annabeanybee said:

The answer to the question "which shoes do I wear today?" is determined less by "what matches my outfit?", and more by "which ones can I get on without having to bend over?".

I finally gave up on shoe fashion. All of my slip ons had 2 inch heels and the docs want me in flats- which means tennis shoes which require bending and tying and omfg no please. So I cheated and ordered a pair of black croc flats. Slip on, no socks required, bliss.

fyafighterwife86 · February 2014

Mimaloo said:
Turning from one side to the other in bed is like doing a 3 point turn in a car - slow, awkward and annoying.

I seriously just died.
This is hilarious. And unfortunately so true.

Sdufort1216 · February 2014

when your watching the Olympics and noticed the hats the USA team are wearing have a lot of extra room to hide snacks in... yah and I said that out loud to a group of people ...

sammy.k · February 2014

MamaCheez said:
Rolls are reversed and my kids have to help me put my underwear on. At least help me get them to my knees... I can take it from there. I have good girls

Wait... What?? Do they help you wipe your ass, too?

hfooter · February 2014

When you can't figure out the best way to wipe your ass after finally going poop after 3 days...

spacepotatoes · February 2014

I've been doing the spread eagled sitting lately. My DH loves to mock me for it. Sometimes it does look pretty ridiculous when I'm trying to recline on the couch and my legs are splayed open all over the place but at this point, who has any modesty or shame left?

@hfooter I won't lie, wiping is an issue over here too. I can't handle the bending anymore and I kind of don't know what else to do. The bathroom has become an awkward, uncomfortable place.

spacepotatoes · February 2014

Mimaloo said:

Turning from one side to the other in bed is like doing a 3 point turn in a car - slow, awkward and annoying.

Yes! And getting out of bed requires bracing yourself against the window frame before putting your full weight on your legs in case your back decides to spasm in the process.

keeumm · February 2014

Every time you stand up you have to go to the bathroom.

Every. Time.

Also every time that you pass a bathroom you figure you might as well go. Because let's be real, you probably need to.

babyaotw · February 2014

hfooter said:
When you can't figure out the best way to wipe your ass after finally going poop after 3 days...

I have genuine concerns about bathroom hygiene with 13 weeks left.

pistolpackinmomma · February 2014

Rolls are reversed and my kids have to help me put my underwear on. At least help me get them to my knees... I can take it from there. I have good girls
Wait... What?? Do they help you wipe your ass, too?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who found that odd.

MamaCheez · February 2014

Yeah, after I take a huge shit I just bend on over.

sopsongbird · February 2014

MK1013 said:

And when you start showing enough that people are comfortable asking when you're due, what you're having, etc. Apparently I've hit that this week because I've been asked more in the past two days than at all so far.

My dad told me today that "I don't look pregnant". Thanks...I just look fat. Way to boost my plus-size self-consciousness.

mariedianne · February 2014

When you need to go to the bathroom for the nth time at night! im a night owl:-(

Jennyinheaven · February 2014

When you eat " leftovers" from a snack that are left stuck between your belly and boob crevice

Unknown · February 2014

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Bootsie327 · February 2014

When you have to strip down to your undies and turn on the ceiling fan at 3am in the dead of winter because the night heats feel like a thousand suns.

pistolpackinmomma · February 2014

Bootsie327 said:
When you have to strip down to your undies and turn on the ceiling fan at 3am in the dead of winter because the night heats feel like a thousand suns.

I have already told DH that I really hope nobody breaks into our house at night because lately I have been sleeping naked and I really don't want to be known as the crazy naked lady that shot an intruder. And I have to have the fan on all night. And I close the bathroom door because there is a heat vent in there and I don't want any more heat than necessary in my room!

CMDR513 · February 2014

You become more indecisive. You can't decide if you are hungry or full. Food sounds good until you begin to make/eat it.

TaylorHam86 · February 2014

Carpenter627 said:

When you go to file your taxes on the computer and stick the forms under your boobs to where your belly holds them up so you can read them and type on the laptop at the same time. And you don't think it's strange at all, but actually quite handy.

This made me LOL for real! Way to be resourceful.

kristine526 · February 2014

pistolpackinmomma said:

Rolls are reversed and my kids have to help me put my underwear on. At least help me get them to my knees... I can take it from there. I have good girls
Wait... What?? Do they help you wipe your ass, too?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who found that odd.

Yeah... no. This is weird.

kristine526 · February 2014

pistolpackinmomma said:

When you have to strip down to your undies and turn on the ceiling fan at 3am in the dead of winter because the night heats feel like a thousand suns.
I have already told DH that I really hope nobody breaks into our house at night because lately I have been sleeping naked and I really don't want to be known as the crazy naked lady that shot an intruder. And I have to have the fan on all night. And I close the bathroom door because there is a heat vent in there and I don't want any more heat than necessary in my room!

Seriously. Give me some of your heat. I was promised that I'd be my own personal space heater, and so far these 28 weeks, I can't get warm for anything.

kristine526 · February 2014

I guess I could add my own instead of commenting on everyone else's.

You know you're pregnant when your dad doesn't ask "How's the baby?" He asks "How's your shelf?"

My dad is sarcastic like that.

You know you're pregnant when you're watching Godzilla, and you're upset. Not because of the destruction and death in NYC, but because they blew up all of Godzilla's babies, wondered why he/she was pissed (Hello! You just blew up all the babies!) and then more sad when he/she gets tangled in the Brooklyn bridge and they kill him/her too. All Godzilla wanted was a safe place to lay the eggs and have the babies hatch, but nooooooooooooooooo. The USofA had to go and be assholes and blow everyone up.

momthatlifts · February 2014

You can't see your vag anymore

deanna1313 · February 2014

When your boobs are actually breaking your old bras and one has an underwire busting out now!
Who knew my boobs would end up in my armpits!

Also, hating to put shoes on. Uggs are now a pain to get in. Can't wait for flip flip flop and slip-on shoe weather.

babyaotw · February 2014

When standing up after peeing makes you have to pee.

spacepotatoes · February 2014

deanna1313 said:

When your boobs are actually breaking your old bras and one has an underwire busting out now! Who knew my boobs would end up in my armpits! Also, hating to put shoes on. Uggs are now a pain to get in. Can't wait for flip flip flop and slip-on shoe weather.

I needed to wash the only bra that fits me so I tried putting on my biggest pre-pregnancy bra last week. The band was too tight and I pulled a muscle trying to loosen one of the straps. That was the end of that bra!

Tnpeach · February 2014

deanna1313 said:
*snip*

Also, hating to put shoes on. Uggs are now a pain to get in. Can't wait for flip flip flop and slip-on shoe weather.

Consider this my FFSC, but I haven't put on a real pair of shoes since October. Monday thru Thursday is nice slip on shoe days, and Friday thru Sunday is flip flop time. Even during Snowmageddon.

deanna1313 · February 2014

@Tnpeach I'm too cold to handle slip ons yet, but wish I could. NJ is too cold and snowy. Ugh!

@spacepotatoes I feel your pain! I went to Victoria's Secret(crazy, I know) after not being able to find maternity bras that fit. They measured me and I went from a 34C to a 36D. my belly is running into the band area.I didn't want to waste money buying at Victoria's Secret and then get bigger,but I got one for 15.99 left from the semi annual sale. Oh I am so happy and comfy!

jjh471 · February 2014

CMDR513 said:

You become more indecisive. You can't decide if you are hungry or full. Food sounds good until you begin to make/eat it.

YES! This started happening this week. I can never decide if I actually want to eat or not, or what I want to eat for that matter. So weird how I went from eating everything in the 1st trimester, to not wanting to eat at all.

ckandi007 · February 2014

You constantly get food on your shirt right where the belly is...and usually don't notice it until later on during the day.

hfooter · February 2014

When instead of putting your dinner napkin on your lap you lay it across your belly. Because let's be honest, after hitting the boobs, the food will land there next.