Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
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***Warning** Healthy Pg Mentioned BF ectopic Pregnancy Loss

pvcheer225pvcheer225 member
edited December 2013 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Edited by a Mod
****Warning****








My name is Morgan and I am 23 weeks pregnant. My Best Friend and her husband has been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. They are the most loving kind caring generous best friends anyone could ask for and would be the best parents in the world, which makes this suck even more. After many different types of medical interventions to try and get pregnant they started IVF. Their first try failed and she was devastated and needed space from me for awhile. After the failed attempt we didnt really talked about what was happening next I just knew she had one more chance to try IVF and then they where out of eggs. She just texted me and was hoping to give me good news as 2 weeks ago they found out they where finally pregnant but went for their first ultrasound today and discovered it was an atopic pregnancy. I feel so guilty that my pregnancy is going well and I dont know what to say or do for her to try to make her feel better. I dont want her to distance herself from me again but I cant even begin to understand how she feels watching me through my pregnancy while she lost hers. The worse thing is I dont know if they will even be able to try again with IVF due to cost and not knowing what damage was caused to her by the atopic pregnancy. Any advice would help, I feel so helpless. I dont want to lose her.

Re: ***Warning** Healthy Pg Mentioned BF ectopic Pregnancy Loss

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    Tell her your sorry and let her have her space.
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    I meant no disrespect by commenting about my pregnancy. I just feel terrible about my situation when she is going through so much, I just want to help her. Just thought I would get some advice since you have all been going through this. Guess I was wrong, sorry for posting, I really didnt mean to upset anyone.

    Sorry again.
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    Sorry this was my first time posting, I didn't know it was wrong to mention pregnancy.
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    OP - you feel "terrible about your situation"?!!? smh.

    I think @ktlovess gave some excellent advice. Let your friend distance herself from you and allow her space to grieve. Text her to let her know that you are sorry for her loss. Do NOT tell her that you feel terrible that your pregnancy is progressing. In fact, don't mention your pregnancy at all. In my experience, the best thing yu can do is pray for her (if you are so inclined) and let her talk when she is ready.

    image

    Pregnancy Ticker

    BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.

    BFP#2 11/6/2013.  CP 11/14/2013.  

    BFP #3 12/13/2013.  Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27.  Beta #2 @17dpo - 90.  CP 12/21/2013

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:6-7

    All PgAL and PAL welcome.

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    That is a tough situation. Please know that your friend is not mad at you. It hurts to see others who are pregnant. I guarantee your friend is happy for you, but it may take a while for her to feel comfortable around you.

    I had a miscarriage and soon after my friend who I travel to a masters class with every wed, announced she was pregnant. Again I fell pregnant 2 months after her, and thought I had a miscarriage only to find out 2 weeks later I was still pregnant but it was ectopic. I had surgery 5 days ago and it was horrible. Anyways, my friend invited me to her gender reveal the same week and I cried for hours. Just try to be considerate of her situation yet continue to enjoy your pregnancy. Make sure you acknowledge her situation and try not to talk about yours in front of her unless she ask. Keep praying for your friend, give her time, and be there when she needs you.

    I posted that my hcg level was low during my ectopic, looking for similar situations thinking that maybe others had similar situations. A couple woman on this board jumped all over me even though I mentioned my pregnancy was not successful, but I was still considered pregnant. I never felt so alone and I don't think anyone should feel that way pregnant or not.

    You are a good friends and I think it is great that you are seeking advice in how to make your friend comfortable.

    Praying for your friend and for a healthy and happy pregnancy for you!

    Hoping the rest of is get there soon
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    Everybody is different. You never know what a person is going to need in a situation like that, no matter how well you know them. I had an ectopic and before that I would have been *sure* that if I lost the pregnancy I would want to talk to a couple of my best friends for support and to help me through it (which was why I had told them I was pregnant so early). Come to find out really the only people I've been able to appreciate support from are my husband (who was obviously going through it with me) and strangers on these boards. My friends called but I had zero interest in talking to them at all. I would straight up ask her what she needs/what you can do, making sure to let her know that it's OKAY for her to want to be left alone. To be honest, a person who was midway through a healthy pregnancy would be the last person I would want to talk to even if I had wanted to talk to anyone.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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