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Pro Life or Pro Choice

BurrberrymumBurrberrymum member
in September 2013 Moms
This may be a touchy subject but I'm very curious because this topic came up among a conversation with one of my friends. Are you Pro Life no matter what the circumstances or Pro Choice? What are your thoughts on these scenarios.. ( these are actual scenarios that have happened among people close to me, only ONE of these scenarios resulted in keeping the baby )

A) You're 16 years old and find out you're pregnant. You're not with the father anymore and legally you know you cannot keep the baby so no matter what someone else will have to raise the baby if you choose to keep it. What would you do?

B) You're in college, have a steady job and long term boyfriend. You repeatedly cheat on your boyfriend and end up pregnant with the guy you cheated with. What would you do?

C) It's summer and you're accepted into a great college program in the fall. You end up pregnant with a mentally abusive ex boyfriend that you JUST broke up with and find out it's twins. What would you do?

D) You're in college and already have a baby that you had while in high school. You're not with the father of the baby anymore but you're in a decent relationship with a new man and find out you're pregnant and were not expecting it at all. What would you do?
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Re: Pro Life or Pro Choice

  • PumpkinMommaaaPumpkinMommaaa member
    I'm pro life. I guess in extreme circumstances (rape or if it will put mom/baby in danger) I could understand. But in every single situation you listed I would not. Every one of those could have been prevented and it just doesn't seem fair to me.

    I've known way too many women who seem to think that that's a form of bc and it upsets me.
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  • elm005elm005 member
    I would lean pro life. It took me a long time to conceive due to pcos, so my first inclination is towards putting the baby up for adoption in all cases. I know there are MANY people out there who would love a baby and can't have one of their own.

    That being said, I don't think it is anyone's business what I do with my body but mine. So I guess I am on the fence.

    Although things like this break my heart... Warning. It is very heartbreaking.
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202057372534656
    (This was shared by a friend as an anti abortion statement recently. I obviously don't know the story behind it but it continues to haunt me a bit)
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  • BurrberrymumBurrberrymum member
    It's such a tough one.. In each of these scenarios I was trying my best to just be a good friend/family member. I can't say "you should keep it" or "you shouldn't" I did push all the alternatives like adoption and showed my support whatever the decision was but it still makes me a tiny bit sad even though they weren't my babies. Ofcourse it's not my place to be sad about it, but being a mom now really makes me see a different perspective. I am pro choice but Life is just so amazing, beautiful and precious.
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  • ajbookajbook member
    Pro life. In high school we had to watch a video of an abortion. You could see the fetus moving away from the machine and it appeared to be yelling/crying. I've never been in any situation as trying as the ones described though.
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  • blondii428blondii428 member
    I used to be pro-choice, but since having my own baby I'm 100% pro-life.  In any circumstance, it's not the baby's fault and nobody is forced to raise a baby if they don't want it, they can give it to loving parent(s).

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  • BurrberrymumBurrberrymum member
    I used to do a lot of presentations being Pro Life in high school which is probably where my emotions stem from. My school wouldn't allow me to present anything pro choice due to religion but got really into my debate and pushed Life,. That's until my close friends and family needed my support., it's not my place to make anyone feel wrong for the decisions they make with their life & body.
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  • BurrberrymumBurrberrymum member
    I just want to apologize if anyone doesn't agree with posting such a debate. I've just been feeling really emotional lately since one of my bestfriends mentioned in a scenario messaged me saying she wants a baby now (6 months later) after giving up the first pregnancy. I didn't know what to say to her.
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  • Shanmarie1083Shanmarie1083 member

    Loppy19 said:
    10,000% pro-choice for a variety of reasons.
    Same here. 
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  • kennazebrowskykennazebrowsky member
    Pro choice.
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  • thebabyAthebabyA member
    Pro life. Couldn't imagine doing that to a little baby. Its not the babies mistake
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  • michelle7482michelle7482 member
    Pro life

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  • JamieWMJamieWM member
    edited February 2014
    Absolutely Pro Choice but I have no issue w those who feel pro life just don't throw your opinion in my direction

     

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  • database6database6 member
    With all of those scenarios, I would have the baby\babies. That bring said, I am pro choice, unless it is being used as a form of birth control.

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  • coraggiosacoraggiosa member
    edited February 2014
    Since I'm not actually in any of those situations, I have no idea what I would do. I suppose I could speculate, but it would literally just be speculation.

    That being said, I am 100% pro-choice. Those are personal decisions that have NOTHING to do with me. 

    ETA: At the risk of being flamed, I want to mention that adoption is a solution to the situation of having a baby that is already born that you cannot raise yourself. It is not a solution to the problem of an unwanted/unplanned for pregnancy. 

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  • RagsdaleARagsdaleA member
    For me..myself..pro life. If you're asking how I'd vote...then..pro choice. I am also supportive of same sex marriages. My opinion for the two are the same... I am not the judger...I will not play God. I haven't walked in everyone's shoes or circumstances so I think people know what's best for themselves.
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  • BurrberrymumBurrberrymum member
    CurlingRocks said:

    Well, I'm pro-choice, though I don't know that I could have one myself.  But if you haven't actually been in a situation where you need to make the decision, you can't possibly know what you would do.

    I'm also disappointed that your examples only involve someone young and who chose to have sex.  (I realize there are non-traditional college students who could be in their 30s or 40s, but I think we can all agree that when people use "college" as an example without specifying age, they are usually referring to the 18-24 year old crowd.)  Many abortions occur when women in the 25-50 year old age group aren't willing/able to continue a pregnancy for a variety of reasons including their own health, the health of the baby, rape, etc.  I realize you have a specific person and scenario you want us to judge, but it isn't our place.

    I don't believe for one second that you did not intend for this to be a heated debate because it is a topic that is incredibly emotional and deeply personal for everyone.  (I've never heard anyone take a truly indifferent stance on the issue, just unwilling to debate.)  And you shouldn't say anything to your friend about what she should or shouldn't want as far as having a baby.  Just say you're sorry she is/was in the situation she's in and don't say any more about it if you want to be supportive.  You have no idea what she's going through, even if you think she's told you everything.  If you don't want to hear her talk about it, say that you aren't comfortable listening to her talk about it, and let her decide how she wants to handle your reaction because you don't get to control that.

    I should have added other scenarios, I wasn't thinking. These are just the ones I've recently been looked upon for advice. I can't give advice to them though, the only thing I can do is be there regardless of their decisions, which I was/am. It's just a topic I've really been pondering and feeling quite emotional about.

    I suppose I should just say I'm uncomfortable talking about it but I wouldn't want to let them down as a friend when they need someone to talk to. I don't even know why their decisions make me feel sad, it's not my place.
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  • AppleMuffinsAppleMuffins member
    I've always been pro-choice, but becoming a mom and watching a fetus grow within me makes me have a harder time accepting my own position. I don't think I could ever abort except maybe if health or life and death were at stake, and even then it's a maybe. I know it technically isn't a baby yet and all that, but it ain't gonna be a tree either, you know? All the genetic coding is there to make the child an individual. When I found out I was pregnant, it was so surreal to know that so much about my child had already been decided by genetics, and yet she didn't even have a true body yet, nor did I even know if she was a boy or girl.

    BUT, just because I wouldn't choose it for myself doesn't mean I should try to prevent others from making that choice. I know there are times when it is necessary. I would only hope that people don't make the decision lightly. Also, other than extreme cases, I don't believe in late term abortions.
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  • coraggiosacoraggiosa member
    smithaz602 said:
    Pro life unless it's an extreme situation. How is it the child's fault that the mom had unprotected sex and wasn't ready to get pregnant? She can still carry the baby to full term and give it to a couple who can't have children. There are so many loving couples who would love to have a baby and these girls just have abortions because they aren't ready to have a baby? Maybe they should have thought about that before having unprotected sex. With all the contraceptive options out there nowadays (the pill, IUD, the t thing that goes in your arm, nuvaring, the morning after pill, condoms) I don't feel bad for girls who get pregnant unexpectedly. I understand that condoms can break or you can forget your pill. But those are the chances you are taking when you have sex. If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex. Period.

    Edit: I know this comes off as harsh, and like I said I can understand SOME circumstances where the mom would have to have an abortion. But it also is none of my business. I would personally never have an abortion, but I know that there are women who do. It's not my place to judge because I don't know every circumstance but to me abortions seem like an easy way out for some girls. I just want to clarify, I know there are certain circumstances but I am talking about the girls who are perfectly healthy, healthy baby, and just got pregnant by mistake and is not ready to have a baby. That's where I think it is 100% absolutely wrong.
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  • Jenly117Jenly117 member
    Pro-life. My feelings are even stronger after watching that little babe take form throughout pregnancy and after becoming a mama.
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  • coraggiosacoraggiosa member
    AbbyMMM said:
    This might be better for UO: I think it's incredibly contradictory for someone to be pro-life and anti food stamps.
    Yeah. Unfortunately, it's a common position. I will never understand people who can go about with such cognitive dissonance.

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  • wluxwlux member
    AbbyMMM said:

    whitneylux said:

    Does anyone else think this is a terrible discussion to have in a pregnancy forum with women that have tiny babies?

    Sorry I'm not sorry but I think it's tacky.

    It's definitely a sensitive discussion. I can appreciate that. But it's also something at the forefront of a lot of political leadership and decision making on a community, state and national level. I'm not going to avoid having an opinion on this because I'm a mom.
    Never said you couldn't have an opinion.

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  • Jupiter62Jupiter62 member
    Pro-choice. My thoughts have always been that an abortion isn't telling the fetus that it must die, it's telling the fetus that you can't live here.
    EDD 9/3/13
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  • Zoly1103Zoly1103 member
    I am 100% pro-choice, but it's hard to imagine myself in these scenarios just because I'm not in them. So I can't say for sure what I would do.

    The only time I have ever considered it for myself is while waiting for my M21 results when your mind goes straight to worst case scenario. But I definitely would have chosen that if E had something that was incompatible with life, not that it is something I would have taken lightly.
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  • dukeblue27dukeblue27 member
    I am pro-life in every situation.
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  • coraggiosacoraggiosa member
    edited February 2014
    dukeblue27 said:
    I am pro-life in every situation.
    As a survivor of sexual assault, I find this opinion to be offensive. To each their own, I guess. 

    ETA: @dukeblue27 I find it interesting to know that if I had gotten pregnant after being raped, you think that I should have carried my rapist's baby. Have you ever looked in the eyes of a rape victim and said that? Just curious. 

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  • JamieWMJamieWM member
    Until you are in the shoes of someone making this type of decision, at whatever age, reason, etc you don't know what you'd do or how you would feel.

     

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  • Juliebird8307Juliebird8307 member
    Pro life. Always have been. None of those situations are even close to me thinking they are an acceptable reason for abortion. Adoption is there for a reason and there are plenty of loving parents out there that can't have children who would do anything for one.
    Ajboocher said:

    Pro life. In high school we had to watch a video of an abortion. You could see the fetus moving away from the machine and it appeared to be yelling/crying. I've never been in any situation as trying as the ones described though.

    That just made me sick to my stomach thinking about it. Thank God I never had to watch that (although I wonder if it would have helped save some babies lives if we had to watch it in high school).

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  • dukeblue27dukeblue27 member
    edited February 2014
    coraggiosa said:


    dukeblue27 said:

    I am pro-life in every situation.

    As a survivor of sexual assault, I find this opinion to be offensive. To each their own, I guess. 

    ETA: @dukeblue27 I find it interesting to know that if I had gotten pregnant after being raped, you think that I should have carried my rapist's baby. Have you ever looked in the eyes of a rape victim and said that? Just curious. 


    I am also a victim and survivor of sexual assult. So don't assume my opinion comes from ignorance. Im sorry you find my opinion offensive. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion I never commented on people that are pro-choice. I respect others opinions so please respect mine.
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  • jmjewell19jmjewell19 member
    I'm not sure I even want to throw my two cents in, but here goes. I tend to lean pro life, and even moreso after having my own baby. I felt a connection right away, and I can't imagine taking that away. I've seen videos that break my heart and probably sway me that way. I think that often, there are other courses of action than abortion. I think far too many people use it as a form of birth control and a way to "fix" irresponsible behavior.

    That being said, though, there are circumstances that it is necessary --health of mother and/or baby--and I think it should also be available to those victims of sexual crimes. To those of you on this board who were victims of that, I am so sorry; I can't even begin to imagine. I obviously think in a situation like that you should have the choice.

    Here's the thing that I haven't seen anyone say here yet:even though I lean pro-life and think there should be medical/situational exceptions, I don't think banning abortions will stop them. Banning them just means they won't be performed in a medical office. People always have a way of getting ahold of or doing things that are 'banned' or illegal. If someone wants one badly enough, they'll have one. A government law isn't going to stop that. I do think there should be more education and perhaps stricter requirements to get one, but I don't think a law against them is the answer. So does that make me pro-life or pro-choice? I'm not really sure.
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