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Anyone else surprised at their feelings about their m/c?

melanieclmelaniecl
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I am currently miscarrying. I was a little over 5 weeks pregnant. This is my first m/c. I currenlty have one child who is 15 months who we conceived through fertility treatments. I am surprised at how sad, angry and frustrated I am regarding the loss. I did fertility treatments this time around as well and it just makes me scared that i will never be able to get pregnant. I thought that I always viewed miscarriages as one of those "common and sometime normal occurances" that just happens because it is not a healthy pregnancy. And I always thought that being only a few weeks early was too early to feel so sad. All of these feelings and thoughts that I had basically were thrown out the window when I started to miscarry. I am really taken aback by my current feelings. I am just really depressed. I am sorry for everyone who is or has gone through the same thing. Anyone else suprised by their reactions? How do I get through this? It is really tough, especially this time of year.
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Re: Anyone else surprised at their feelings about their m/c?

  • TinaL99TinaL99 member
    I found out that I had a blighted ovum over a month ago (I should have been 12 1/2 weeks along).  I still break down in tears sometimes when certain things trigger my sadness.  I am still angry, confused, and frustrated.  And the holidays definitely don't help.  I am very lucky to have a strong and understanding DH and lots of support from family and friends, and that definitely helps.  Take some time for yourself, let yourself have those sad times, it's normal to feel this way.  You are not alone!  Good luck!
    DD1: 3/31/10 DD2: 9/7/11
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  • sherron and troysherron and troy
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's been a month since I started to m/c and I still get angry, sad and cry. It is definitely tough because of the holidays, but maybe you could use it as a distraction, something else to focus on. Take the time out to grieve, and although it may not feel like it now, it will get better over time. ::hugs::
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  • lnlelnle

    as someone who has also gone through fertility treatments to get pregnant, I'm surprised that I'm not more angry. I'm still in the sad stage and haven't gotten to the angry/bitter stage. We work so hard and wait so long and spend so much money to get what so many other people can get for free, only to have it taken from us. I completely understand your feelings.

    We're getting through it by not traveling for the holidays - we're just staying at home and taking it easy, trying to rest and do something fun every day. We're just really leaning on each other for support right now.

    ((hugs))

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  • a2ta2t member
    I feel exactly the same and we are in the exact same situation. I have a 20 month old and just started bleeding this morning, a little over 5 weeks as well. I haven't slept a full  night since I found out all of this was going to happen on Friday. Everyone tells me it is going to take to heal, but I worry too about being able to have a successful pregnancy again. My daughter was conceived using Clomid and this time it didn't work, so after 6 months, we went to fertility shots. I was thrilled when I got pregnant the first round, and now this. Just know you are not alone. I'm so sorry for your loss
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  • Tessie33Tessie33

    I am so sorry for what you are going through. Mine started on Saturday night and I completely understand how you feel. Even though I knew what was going one and had a suspicion it would happen, once it was confirmed I just broke down. I was suprised at how emotional I have been. But know that it is nothing you did. My dr actually called me last night to check on me and said that m/c this early ( i was almost 6 wks) are normally due to a choromosonal (sp?) problem. Please dont blame yourself and know there are lots of people going through this with you and are here for you.

    Jess

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  • BensWifeBensWife member
    Yes, I was surprise at how depressed I've been.  I too have a child (21 months) that I conceived with fertility treatments (IVF).  We tried FET for baby #2 this summer and it didn't work.  The cycle right before we were going to try a fresh IVF we got a natural BFP.  DH and I were SOOO excited!!  Then, totally devastated after the m/c.  Now, I don't know what to do.  I too have a hard time thinking I will get pg again.  If we do IVF, will I miscarry again?  I have now started to think of adoption vs IVF, but adoption (domestic) is $22,000 and IVF will only cost us like $11,000 and if we try a 3rd time then it will be $8,000.  Now we are just waiting and seeing and trying to decide what to do.  We will TTC on our own, but I still have my doubts about getting pg at all.  I know I will be having a hard time tonight (Chritsmas Eve party) as one of my closest friends is pg - was about a month ahead of me.  Even though I am still really happy for her, I just keep thinking I should be pg too - now in my 2nd trimester now.  I never knew it would be this hard.  Sending hugs!!
    Baby #1: 19 cycles, failed IUI, and 1 + IVF 3-5-07
    Baby #2: 12 cycles, 1 failed FET, natural miracle but m/c at 9 weeks then another natural miracle that stuck! 9-30-09

    TTC #3 - 4 cycles - no BFP yet!
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