M14, you have failed me

SassyFlats · February 2014

Okay... so... today I had my GBS swab. AND YOU GUYS DIDN'T FREAKING SAY IT WOULD FEEL LIKE SOMEONE PUTTING SANDPAPER IN MY VAG.

Some people talked about how awkward it would be getting your butt swabbed. THAT FELT BETTER THAN THE VAG PART.

After all the hullabaloo about the glucose drink back in the day-- "waaaaaaah! It's so yucky!" I thought "Surely, if there is anything totally gross or uncomfortable that I'm going to experience, these people will give me a heads-up. They're freaking out over some orange drank, FFS!"

PSA to other FTMs: maybe the GBS swab will be fine for you. Or maybe you will squirm like a fucking idiot because that stupid dry-as-fuck Q-tip getting swiped around in your already-sensitive vagina freaking HURTS. Just FYI. No bueno. If I'd known it was going to be like razors all up in my lady bits, I'd have gone in practicing my Lamaze breathing or something. Sheesh!

So glad that's over. But shame on you for not giving me the down low on this, M14. I thought you were my friends. :P

aLsMay24 · February 2014

Really??? I've had 2 already this pregnancy and could barely feel either. And honestly the one I had with DS I didn't even know the swab the butt. Your person must have been super rough.

legallyginger · February 2014

Sorry it sucked for you! I had mine today and barely felt it, and I've been pretty swollen and sensitive lately.

Perhaps you have a particularly irritable vagina?

SomersIsles · February 2014

I shall report on Thursday when I get mine. Now I'm paranoid which means I'll tense up and then it'll be worse. Shit.

Similarly, I had my first cervical check today.... Whoa... I have nothing to compare it to but I thought the midwife was trying to reach up to my kidneys... DH's jaw dropped hahahaha

SassyFlats · February 2014

rockopera · February 2014

I don't even know what this is!?!

Wait. I googled it.

Sorry 'bout the sandpaper vag though.

SomersIsles · February 2014

rockopera said:
I don't even know what this is!?!

Wait. I googled it.

Sorry 'bout the sandpaper vag though.

You're suppose to ask someone else to google it for you

SassyFlats · February 2014

legallyginger said:

Sorry it sucked for you! I had mine today and barely felt it, and I've been pretty swollen and sensitive lately. Perhaps you have a particularly irritable vagina?

MAYBE I DO. MAYBE I DON'T.

I mean, I haven't had sex since first trimester... so there's that, too.

)

I don't think my OB was particularly rough... she's been my GYN for years and I have NEVER felt anything that scratchy all up in my bidness!

karacakes98 · February 2014

rockopera said:
I don't even know what this is!?!

Wait. I googled it.

Sorry 'bout the sandpaper vag though.

Google? WTF is Google?! I just ask M14 everything.

OP, I've never had an experience like that. Sorry it sucked.

fish8412 · February 2014

I just had mine the other day and it was painless. Much easier than I anticipated. Sorry you had a bad experience!

SassyFlats · February 2014

SomersIsles said:

I shall report on Thursday when I get mine. Now I'm paranoid which means I'll tense up and then it'll be worse. Shit. Similarly, I had my first cervical check today.... Whoa... I have nothing to compare it to but I thought the midwife was trying to reach up to my kidneys... DH's jaw dropped hahahaha

We skipped the cervical check. She and I agreed there's no point. Then after she did the swab and I was all like "Woah, I did NOT expect it to be that uncomfortable!" she was all apologetic and said "Well, to be honest the cervical check isn't as bad as the swab."

I was like... well, fuck.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · February 2014

Having mine done on Wednesday. I'll let ya know how it goes

AriaAmante143 · February 2014

I have the GBS swab AND a cervical check tomorrow....so you're telling me tomorrow is going to be all-around awful. Damn it.

SassyFlats · February 2014

FarmBoysWife said:

Ok I've had to do it twice with DS, and once this time.. What the hell.. Do all my providers suck then? I was a good feeling GBS swab *cries in corner*

Apparently @farmboyswife and I both have sensitive hoo-has.

/:)

VineyardMel · February 2014

I could barely feel it this time or with DD. Makes me curious what they actually did to you!

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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cdnmomma · February 2014

I didnt even feel a thing. But maybe I'm just super loosy-goosy down there.

SassyFlats · February 2014

FarmBoysWife said:

FarmBoysWife said:

Ok I've had to do it twice with DS, and once this time.. What the hell.. Do all my providers suck then? I was a good feeling GBS swab *cries in corner*

Apparently @farmboyswife and I both have sensitive hoo-has.

/:)
At least I have a friend on here! *creepyinternetstrangerhugs*

*creepysensitivevaginternetstrangerhugs*

I know, I know... it sucked big fat donkey balls, friend!

twinlove314 · February 2014

I haven't had the swab (I tested positive for gbs in first trimester). Cervical checks are pretty rough though. I had one in the office at my last appointment to get a baseline, and another when I was admitted to l&d on saturday

mrsoliver916 · February 2014

Mine felt uncomfortable, but it didn't hurt!

The cervical check however....oooo wee that was awkward. So much pressure!!!

ProudMommy030614 · February 2014

Since I am due the very last day of march I will let you know in a few weeks when I get mine! I didn't have it with my first since he was a preemie and with #2 I honestly don't remember it was 8 years ago.

hclzmm14 · February 2014

My doctor said nothing about my butt! Do they always swab the butt? Yeesh.....

kem13bad · February 2014

I had to swab myself and while it was difficult for me to see where I was inserting the q tip, I was gentle lol

myfriendscallmemeg · February 2014

Yuck. Thank goodness I'm an end of the monther & can put this off for who knows how many more weeks.

kaking78 · February 2014

Sorry you had a bad experience. I barely noticed mine. Maybe your doc was being extra thorough?

For the record, I'm still jealous of the ladies who got to do the DIY swabs. Anytime I can skip taking my pants off for a near stranger is a good day.

BabiesFTW · February 2014

Hah. Yeah, it hurt me this time too. Moreso the butt. I felt kinda violated and dirty for the rest of the day.

AnonymousMotherOfOne · February 2014

You know, I'm always a little bit terrified when my doc says the next appointment will involve anything with my ladybits.

Not because I don't trust him or anything, but because no matter how gentle he is, it always hurts so much I start crying. DH held my hand the last couple of times so I wouldn't feel so bad about crying in front of the doctor...

Nice to know there's something out there waiting for me that sucks just as bad, if not worse than, my OB's fingers and speculum.

BTBergstrom · February 2014

I just had mine today and it barely felt like anything and she barely even got my bum just like around the outside. The cervical check I had today was much worse...made me all crampy I did not like that at all!

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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kaking78 · February 2014

A knife to the cervix? No thank you. Yet another reason I'll be skipping them until I start having contractions or go past my due date.

lb1117 · February 2014

I did my own swab and that made a difference I'm sure. I'm sorry some of you had bad experiences

teaforthree · February 2014

I was already kind of dreading the swabbing since I didn't have it done with DD, and now I'm REALLY dreading the swabbing. I get it done in a week and a half. Yippee.

Also, re: cervical checks - When I had DD (at a German hospital), they checked it every month. Yes, you read that right. Not only that, but they never even gave me a gown to put on. It would be a regular appointment, and then near the end the doctor would literally tell me to take my pants off. And then, sitting there completely pantless, he would check it. And then I would put my pants back on while he was still in the room. I will take cervical checks here any day, if only for the modesty they provide. I really hope Germany has updated their practices since then. Sigh.

SomersIsles · February 2014

snow527 said:
Sorry we failed you Just as a heads up, cervical checks feel like someones stabbing you in the cervix with a knife. Just another thing to look forward to

To ease people's minds, it doesn't always feel that way. I was checked twice today and, although it wasn't pleasant, it didn't feel like a knife. It was just a lot of forceful pressure. Still not fun, but at least not painful.

futurecody · February 2014

Haha thanks for the warning... Mines tomorrow.

Andreabills · February 2014

bandteacher said:
I'm staring to wonder if I've had the swab or not. Thought it happened a few weeks ago, but now I'm wondering since I didn't feel anything.

Then again, I don't think cervical checks hurt. I must have a vagina of steel.

What BMB is it that has the golden vagina? Maybe we should claim steel.

lvlichelle · February 2014

Sorry you had such a bad experience. I had mine done today as well and it was no big deal. I was expecting something horrible after past post I have read. I did notice her do the quick bum swipe. Had I not known it was coming, I probably wouldn't have noticed.

YankeePeach08 · February 2014

bandteacher said:

I'm staring to wonder if I've had the swab or not. Thought it happened a few weeks ago, but now I'm wondering since I didn't feel anything. Then again, I don't think cervical checks hurt. I must have a vagina of steel.

maybe you just like it rough

FWIW mine didn't hurt but it was awkward b/c the MW just had me lay back on the table and she stood over me talking the whole time. She wasn't hiding behind the sheet while I had my feet in the stirrups.

Excitedmum35 · February 2014

I had to do the swab myself and I was suprised I didn't have to swab my butt as ppl on here had said that was part of it.
Maybe in Australia we just don't do butt swabbing?!?!?
Anyway, mine didn't hurt at all. I am wondering if it's even the same thing- like a big q tip?

jamieandlori · February 2014

I had mine today and hardly felt a thing. In fact, the butt swab only grazed the cheeks and left me feeling like maybe she needed to be more thorough. For the baby's sake!

Grenagh · February 2014

This is one of those things (like Tdap) that I'm so glad we don 't do in Ireland. Does not sound fun!!!

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M14, you have failed me

Re: M14, you have failed me

"Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about You, but since I didn't get the chance, would You please hold them on Your lap and tell them about me?

BFP #4 6/26/13, EDD 3/8/14, Delivered @ 40w6d
Bethany Elizabeth born on 3/14/14 @ 6:48am weighing almost 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches.

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Want a personalized experience?

M14, you have failed me

Re: M14, you have failed me

"Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about You, but since I didn't get the chance, would You please hold them on Your lap and tell them about me?

BFP #4 6/26/13, EDD 3/8/14, Delivered @ 40w6dBethany Elizabeth born on 3/14/14 @ 6:48am weighing almost 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches.

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BFP #4 6/26/13, EDD 3/8/14, Delivered @ 40w6d
Bethany Elizabeth born on 3/14/14 @ 6:48am weighing almost 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches.