Late Term and Child Loss

Social media

I'm not a huge play by play type of FB poster, but I wanted to let my friends & family I don't see as often know about our exciting news. I posted our pregnancy announcement at 17.5 weeks, which is later than most people usually announce. Last week I had to post the birth & loss announcement. While it tore my heart out, I was not kicking myself for having announced it on FB. Having people know did not make the pain of our loss any less and we received/are still receiving a lot of thoughts and support.

Did your loss or will your loss affect how you treat your current or future pregnancy on social media?

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TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
FET (August 2014) = BFN

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Re: Social media

  • ***ticker warning***

    We announced our first pregnancy around 12 weeks and when we lost Alice at 20w4d we also announced on fb. For me announcing our loss of fb helped get the information out to a lot of people at once so I wouldn't always be explaining when I ran into people. I was definitely far enough along that most people knew I was pregnant when we lost Alice.

    This pregnancy we waited much longer to announce and I wasn't even sure I wanted to announce it on fb. I know it would have no impact on the outcome of the pregnancy, but it was scary to feel hopeful at all with this one.
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

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  • NoetholaNoethola member
    edited February 2014
    ***Siggy warning***


    I never did an official announcement the first time, but people tagged pictures and my family talked about it, so people caught on. I did announce her birth and passing at 36 weeks. We received a lot of support through that. 

    This pregnancy we have made no official announcement once again. It was even harder for me, and I asked family not to post about it. Im 38 weeks tomorrow, and still people dont know. While we are excited for this little guy, he was really hard to talk about in the beginning (as if I would jinx it or something, I dont know.) But I also did not want people asking me if he was here yet, or when I was going into labor, etc on facebook. I have enough anxiety waiting for him to come, I do not need other people adding to it. 

    Its totally up to you and your comfort level. Speaking about it wont change the outcome, but that doesnt make it any easier on a mom who has lost her baby. You do what is right for you in the moment. It is not easy grieving the baby you lost at the same time you are being excited for the baby you are carrying. 


    Lilypie - (qptF)


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    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."


  • We announced at 20 weeks with Arianna, we wanted further testing results before people asked about her. I couldn't write about her passing on fb, it hurt too much to type it out. I did screen shot the funeral home announcement of her service and posted it. That way people could go and it let them know we did lose her.
    I didn't post anything on fb until we were 14 weeks. Not because of fear of miscarriage, I just wasn't ready yet for people to ask me anything. 

    Julius Justin - 11/07/2002 - 10 lbs 22 in 
    Isabella Genavieve - 02/03/05 - 7 lbs 11 oz 22 in 
    Arianna Kaitlynn - 04/10/2013 - 4 lbs 15 oz 15 in

    BFP 08/10/13 
    TWINS!!!! 09/01/13
    Miscarriage at 12 weeks lost baby B 
    Arianna diagnosed with an Ompalocele at 13 weeks
    Arianna our Angel on 04/10/13 
    BFP 07/20/13
    Our Rainbow due 03/18/14 


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  • *** living child mentioned***




    My first pg we never posted on FB, mainly bc I was waiting to hit 13w. Than at 13w appt we found out we lost the baby.

    My son we announced after a good 13w u/s.

    Last pg I announced after 15w, bc I was waiting for blood tests. I announced on FB when we lost Timothy at 24w. Like PP said it was a easy way to get the word out without having to explain to EVERYONE what happened. :(

    If we try for another child, I don't know what we will do.

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • I posted that we were pregnant around 13 weeks, and have yet to post anything about our loss. Every time I think about doing it, I just freeze up and can't do it. Now, it's been more than 5 months, and I feel like I could handle the comments, but it seems silly to do It after so long. I have really been using FB less and less, and I don't really know what I would do with another pregnancy. Partially cause I feel more protective, more private, than before. Partially cause I know how hard it is for me to see pregnancy announcements on FB and I would hate to cause someone else pain.
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • Siggy warning. Pg mentioned


    I posted with our first pg at 16w when we found out we were having boys. I posted a few days after they were born about the loss. And I continue to post about them and how I feel etc. we waited until I reached 24w to post about this pregnancy. I wasn't going to post anything, but I figured I have a baby shower coming up and I thought pictures would get posted so it needed to be said before hand.


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  • With all three pregnancies nothing was posted on FB.  I did post on FB after my last loss because I took part in the Loss project.

    I just felt that it wasn't necessary.  I like to post photos on FB for family and friends, but I am not big into shower EVERYTHING. I felt like the people that were present in my life knew and the rest could find out when I FLOODED their feed with pictures of my baby.

    I think next time around I will do the same thing.
    *******************************************************************************************************************
    BFP#1 March24,2011  MC on May 29,2011 BFP#2 Sept,2011 MC Oct 2011 (Molar)
    Started Progestrone Treatment, BFP#3 May 10,2013  PROM/PRL on Sept 7 2013
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  • Ticker warning (rainbow mentioned)

    When I was pregnant with Kayla, we announced at around 13 weeks.  We announced our loss on FB as well because we wanted word to spread quickly so people wouldn't still think I was pregnant and have to share the painful news in person.

    Before I got pregnant with this LO, I had toyed with not really telling anyone outside of close friends and family until she was here, but then decided I would like to celebrate her with a shower, and that would be kind of hard is most people didn't know I was pregnant.  So we waited until we passed our loss milestone to announce.  I know announcing earlier wouldn't have made something bad happen, but I just couldn't do it until we got past that point.

    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

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  • I also have never announced on Facebook with any pregnancy. We had two early losses before our daughter and by the time we got pregnant with her we decided that we wouldn't put it on Facebook.

    Now I am so aware of how painful it is to see an announcement that I probably won't ever announce on it. Silly I know but it is what it is.
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