Update and Anonymous Poll: Would you Terminate for Trisomy 18?

Ylvelill · February 2014

Wow, that is heartbreaking

I honestly can not vote either way. I know in my situation I could not do it because I am not able to ever be pregnant again, but I can also understand all the reasons someone might choose to. It is such a personal decision.

My thought are with your family no matter what you end up deciding or what happens.

DelilahSun · February 2014

No matter how long your wee lad is with you, you are wonderful parents now and always. Congratulations on your second son and know my thoughts are with you all.

shanaynerz · February 2014

I didn't vote, but I just want to tell you I'm so terribly sorry you're going through this.

tourqeyes · February 2014

Goo, my heart breaks for you.

What an incredibly strong woman you are.

TRS48 · February 2014

I am in tears reading this, not because of your beautiful little boy's diagnosis, but because of the decision you (and many others) may or may not choose to be faced with... how tough it must be. I couldn't imagine. I voted "no" as I, like you, just have always felt I could never do it. I also voted "no" because I have personally seen medical 'miracles' happen in the past, and you just never know what could be in store

Sending prayers your way.

abrazz · February 2014

We had a 1:30 risk of trisomy 18 according to my quad screening. At that moment I wanted every minute I could have with this little one. We still have no definitive answer and are past the point of termination (according to my OBGYN) but we would still not terminate regardless. I am of the same mindset you are in your reply to TurtleMonster. You seem to be doing well but I know this must be incredibly difficult and the path ahead will be a tough one for you and your family. I pray for continued strength and peace.

mamabc14 · February 2014

I can't vote but I do want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this and how much I admire the strength and courage you have shown us this past couple of weeks. I just hope that whatever decisions you make that they ate best for you and your family. very big bear hugs.

bewilderingstar · February 2014

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this. You guys are in my thoughts.

lizzybeth13 · February 2014

I'm so sorry aly. You and your little boy are in my prayers. No matter your decision, your little boy is obviously very loved.

honeybee434 · February 2014

I can't even imagine what you are dealing with in your head and in your emotions. I pray that even a small amount of peace can come eventually as the days go by.

I voted that I wouldn't be able to terminate. I had an old acquaintance who had a child with Trisomy 18 a few years ago and she ended up delivering around 32 weeks and had about 12 hours with her daughter. She was so thankful for those 12 hours and it helped her so much through the healing process, that her experience is what I would have to most go off of for me. I don't know of a child whose presence was more cherished by those around her during those short hours.

BoraBoraBaby · February 2014

I'm so sorry to hear this, it's so unfair. I don't know how you move on but you will get through this with the support of your husband. I agree that if my body doesn't reject my baby, I can't either. If I have one more day with my baby it's one more day I can live with this miracle. But it doesn't take the pain away. And it postpones your ability to move on. But only you can make that decision with your husband. I'm wishing you comfort. Words cannot express how sad I am for you.

ceifert · February 2014

My thoughts and prayers are with you Aly. I am so sorry your family is going through this incredibly difficult time.

mrscurlygurl · February 2014

I cannot even begin to imagine how I would react in your shoes. I am not going to weigh in on this poll, but I want you to know how strong I think you and your DH are. My thoughts will be with you.

Wrights22 · February 2014

I am so so sorry you are going through this. My heart aches for you. I have already thought about your question, bc I came at high risk for Trisomy. I've always come from a place of... Everyone has different circumstances and a decision to terminate is their own. I can tell you that I personally landed on the likelihood of not terminating for a few reasons. 1- I would be even more severely depressed in making that decision than in seeing my child affected with the condition. And 2- the timeframe. If it was very early in the pregnancy I might be able to deal a bit better. But I just don't think I could go through with it with a baby as developed as 16+ weeks. Those were just my thoughts. You have to do what you feel in your gut is the best decision. So so sorry. ((Hugs))

hupp0013 · February 2014

I'm so so sorry you and your family are going through this. Praying for you and your family.

Artistmom30 · February 2014

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through but I can say that I know I couldn't terminate my child even with that diagnosis. That child was given to me and DH for a reason and I'd have no right to terminate their life. I can see that you love your child deeply and that child is lucky to have you as his mom.

hab83 · February 2014

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I can't even imagine the range of emotions you are feeling right now. Thinking of you, your family, and that sweet baby.

BBColt78 · February 2014

I'm sending you all my thoughts and very sorry that you and your family have such tough decisions to make.

I couldn't vote because I honestly can't make up my mind. Lots of prayers to you.

Natdubs · February 2014

I don't think I could make that decision if I had too. I wish peace for you and your family as this is a very tough diagnosis to receive.

katnipeverclean · February 2014

I am praying for peace for you. I'm so sorry you have to walk this path.

mcvgal · February 2014

Congrats on your baby boy as he is truly a blessing. I am so sorry that you are having to consider these options. I wish you strength and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

iris427 · February 2014

I'm so sorry.

I've always felt that in a situation like this, I would terminate. I would hope to spare my child pain and suffering. But that is a hypothetical--I don't know what I would do if I were really facing this decision.

Whatever you decide, I hope it you can find peace. Lots of love to you and your baby.

MissBHaven1024 · February 2014

I just want to say that I am so sorry that you received this diagnosis. It's such a tough discussion to have, even if you already know where you stand on the issue. Big hugs to you and your husband.

Jesse835235 · February 2014

Thoughts and prayers for you. So sorry you have to go through this.

emineminem · February 2014

I'm sorry Goo. I don't know what I'd do in your shoes, but I voted no. Sending you my strength.

VTKatie · February 2014

I am praying for you and your little one. My heart breaks for you. You and your DH are showing unbelievable strength.

melitabonita · February 2014

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. Probably one of the hardest you'll ever be faced with.

There are a couple groups I recommend checking out on Babycenter.

This one is for people who chose to carry to term despite a poor prenatal diagnosis:
https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6711405/carryingcarried_pregnancy_despite_poor_or_fatal_prenatal_diagnosis

And this is people who chose to terminate for medical reasons:
https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6325/termination_for_medical_reasons

It can be helpful to see whats happened to people on both sides of the fence.

sraexx · February 2014

I'm so sorry you are in the position to make this decision. I can't even imagine. Know that whatever decision you do make it will be the right one for you and your family. I believe these trials are given to us with a purpose and there is no wrong just what you need to do. Again, I'm so sorry, prayers to you and your family.

Lola825 · February 2014

Oh Aly, I am so sorry you are faced with this impossible decision. My thoughts and prayers for peace are with you and your DH.

I honestly don't know how I would decide this if I were you. I can understand reasoning for both sides. I hope you and your DH find strength and peace in each other and please know we are all here for you no matter what path you choose. Love and hugs to you both.

Ecomom17 · February 2014

Oh, Aly, I'm so very sorry you're going through this. I don't know if anything any of us can say will help ease your pain, but know we are here for you even if it's just to listen.

If you are in a place, now or later, where you want to hear similar stories, I'm posting a link to a blog written by a mother whose DS was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. She made the decision to carry him as far as he made it. Like your posts, it is a story of incredible strength and sadness. I hope it can help to know you're not alone. Wishing you peace and continued strength through this difficult journey. Your boy is blessed to have you!

https://www.embracingelijah.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

yurmom · February 2014

I'm so so sorry you are going through this. I'm not sure what I would want to do. I guess my major deciding factor would be if the baby was born alive would it be in pain and suffer? I'm not sure I could terminate but I wouldn't want my child to suffer. I would definitely want the help of hospice.

Again, I'm so sorry.

bunkgirl · February 2014

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

hope1017 · February 2014

No matter what decision you take just know that both of you are strong individuals. You and I think alike because I always say everything happens for a reason and that's how I look at life, second everyone's decision is differently but yet so strong and so bold that I'm like you I respect everyone's decision and I don't judge or disrespect anyone for what they are facing and what they want as an outcome even though I'm against terminating pregnancy. You are going through a tough time that you have so much support from this board. Wish you the best in whatever it is that you decide to do and I'll be sending prayers for you and your family.

hgtvmom · February 2014

I am so sorry you are going through this. Thoughts and prayers are with your family.

MstoMrstoMom851214 · February 2014

I am so sorry.

I can't truly say what I would do in your situation, but I would base it off the amount of suffering my child would go through.

Again, I am so sorry that you are faced with such an impossible choice. My thoughts are with you and your family.

runrinserepeat · February 2014

I honestly have no idea what we would do, and I'm so sorry that you have to now make this decision. Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

ksuRN09 · February 2014

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision. Thinking of you and your family.

LuluPMW · February 2014

I'm so sorry. I can't comprehend what you must be going through. You are so courageous!

Allison546 · February 2014

I'm really sorry. I wish you and your family peace through this difficult time.

knitsandgiggles · February 2014

I am really sorry that you and your husband are faced with this situation. You two will make the best decision for your family. You're in my thoughts.

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