41 and TTC for 2 years

actaea1421 · February 2014

So had I got a BFP with my test this morning, my expected due date would have been October 2014, or 1 month after my 42nd birthday. Hubby and I have been trying for 2 years. Granted we didn't have the timing down right part of the time, weren't using OPKs, etc. We did manage to get pregnant in December 2012 but miscarried. We went to a fertility specialist, who said he's good but my eggs are just old. We tried IUIs with Clomid for 3 months in September, October and November of 2013 with no luck. I have tried doing handstands after sex, sex on bottom, sex on top, eliminated things from my life, added things to my life, etc.

I am extremely discouraged. I have this mental block that I should not deliver too far into my forties. i know more and more people are doing it, but does that mean more and more people SHOULD do it? I have put my deadline at July of this year. If I conceived in July,. that would put me at delivering at age 42.5. I feel like I am being selfish for giving myself that much longer.

Does anyone else have a similar story, additional information, or maybe a happy ending to provide me with a little hope.?

ngolimento · February 2014

I think there is an entire board dedicated to 35+ trying to conceive. You may find more people with similar experiences there.

I am sorry you are going through so much stress.

janda426 · February 2014

actaea1421 said:

So had I got a BFP with my test this morning, my expected due date would have been October 2014, or 1 month after my 42nd birthday. Hubby and I have been trying for 2 years. Granted we didn't have the timing down right part of the time, weren't using OPKs, etc. We did manage to get pregnant in December 2012 but miscarried. We went to a fertility specialist, who said he's good but my eggs are just old. We tried IUIs with Clomid for 3 months in September, October and November of 2013 with no luck. I have tried doing handstands after sex, sex on bottom, sex on top, eliminated things from my life, added things to my life, etc.

I am extremely discouraged. I have this mental block that I should not deliver too far into my forties. i know more and more people are doing it, but does that mean more and more people SHOULD do it? I have put my deadline at July of this year. If I conceived in July,. that would put me at delivering at age 42.5. I feel like I am being selfish for giving myself that much longer.

Does anyone else have a similar story, additional information, or maybe a happy ending to provide me with a little hope.?

Handstands after sex? Sounds interesting. I'm not over 40, but are you taking your BBT and charting to confirm ovulation? It wasn't mentioned in your OP that's why I'm asking.

Pintobean39 · February 2014

I'm 39, I've had 3 recent mc right after each other. I don't have a cut off date yet. I'm now seeing a RE and he see to think its possible for me. Originally when I started trying at 37 I thought I didn't want to be preg at 40 but now I'd be tickled pink to be preg at 40. I'll be 40 in June. Like I told my RE, 40 is the new 20.

missnacholover · February 2014

No advice, but I impressed with the handstands after sex. You must have some awesome arms.

jaytee16 · February 2014

actaea1421 said:

So had I got a BFP with my test this morning, my expected due date would have been October 2014, or 1 month after my 42nd birthday. Hubby and I have been trying for 2 years. Granted we didn't have the timing down right part of the time, weren't using OPKs, etc. We did manage to get pregnant in December 2012 but miscarried. We went to a fertility specialist, who said he's good but my eggs are just old. We tried IUIs with Clomid for 3 months in September, October and November of 2013 with no luck. I have tried doing handstands after sex, sex on bottom, sex on top, eliminated things from my life, added things to my life, etc.

I am extremely discouraged. I have this mental block that I should not deliver too far into my forties. i know more and more people are doing it, but does that mean more and more people SHOULD do it? I have put my deadline at July of this year. If I conceived in July,. that would put me at delivering at age 42.5. I feel like I am being selfish for giving myself that much longer.

Does anyone else have a similar story, additional information, or maybe a happy ending to provide me with a little hope.?

I'm sorry, I'm confused - you got a BFP this morning?

Are you under the care of an RE? Typically after 3 failed cycles of the same protocol, most doctors will discuss what else you can try. Did they have any suggestions on what steps to take next? Perhaps trying Femara or injects, or discussing IVF?

jaytee16 · February 2014

Joy2611 said: jaytee16 said: I'm sorry, I'm confused - you got a BFP this morning?
If she had gotten a positive this morning. If. If. She didn't; she just wanted a positive.

I've heard reading ALL words helps :P Sorry OP, ignore my reading fail.
Perhaps I will have that second cup of coffee!

actaea1421 · February 2014

I did NOT get a BFP, only hoping I would. My doctor said that the next step would be injectibles. The IUIs were about $1,000 each month with a 10% success rate, the injectibles would be about $5,000 a month with about a 12% success rate. The cost versus the percentage rise of success doesn't make sense to us. We would basically need an egg donor for a high chance of success and at a cost of about $40,000. We're back to trying the old fashioned way. Since neither of us drink, we can't get drunk and have sex in the back of a car (one suggestion I received) so we are back to trying the old fashioned way..... doing handstands (another suggestion from a different friend)!

I'll have to find that 35+ board.

jaytee16 · February 2014

actaea1421 said:

I did NOT get a BFP, only hoping I would. My doctor said that the next step would be injectibles. The IUIs were about $1,000 each month with a 10% success rate, the injectibles would be about $5,000 a month with about a 12% success rate. The cost versus the percentage rise of success doesn't make sense to us. We would basically need an egg donor for a high chance of success and at a cost of about $40,000. We're back to trying the old fashioned way. Since neither of us drink, we can't get drunk and have sex in the back of a car (one suggestion I received) so we are back to trying the old fashioned way..... doing handstands (another suggestion from a different friend)!

I'll have to find that 35+ board.

I'm sorry, we're pretty much OOP as well and treatments can be so expensive. If you're "trying the old fashioned way", I will echo @janda426's question about whether or not you're charting your BBT and/or using OPKs to help identify your FW and confirm ovulation. I'm sorry you're in such a tough position, good luck to you.

raelynn71109 · February 2014

jaytee16 said:

Joy2611 said:

jaytee16 said:

I'm sorry, I'm confused - you got a BFP this morning?

If she had gotten a positive this morning. If. If. She didn't; she just wanted a positive.

I've heard reading ALL words helps :P Sorry OP, ignore my reading fail.
Perhaps I will have that second cup of coffee!

I had the same reading fail @jaytee16! I was so confused.

wishiwaspreggo · February 2014

So sorry you're struggling with this I have no advice to offer but I wanted to wish you luck! You'll find some good support in the 35+ group, for sure.

Rseed · February 2014

Sorry for your struggles. I hope you get your BFP before July!

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