How Soon is Too Soon? When to Start TTC

ombradellarosa · February 2014

I am so glad I found the discussion boards here. I think will be the best place to vent and share my feelings about TTC.

We are actually 4 months away from TTC but I can't stop thinking about it! I stay up night after night reading articles on The Bump, trying to be as prepared as I possibly can. My husband thinks I am obsessed and I should just relax. I agree I am obsessed, but I can't relax! It's like a switch was flipped in my brain. I was determined to finish my BA before having a baby and I am set to graduate this June. DH and I got married three years ago November and up until very recently I didn't feel like I was missing anything in life. In fact, I was a little scared to have a baby! But now it's almost all I think about. I am definitely a control freak and I am all too aware that this is something over which I am going to have very little control, so I am doing my best to know everything before we start TTC.

There is one question that's burning a hole in my brain right now. June is going to be a very busy month for me, what with graduation, a family reunion halfway across the country, and my plans to attend VidCon. However I don't want to put off TTC. I don't want to be pregnant while I'm in school but as soon afterwards as possible would be great for me! No worries about DH as he has had baby fever for months if not years.

Here's the thing--I assumed I would be ovulating mid-month in June, but I just checked my calendar and it looks like it will be the very beginning and end instead! Originally I thought we would just start TTC in mid-June and there would be no chance I could be pregnant enough by the end of the month for morning sickness or other symptoms to interfere with flying, the family reunion, and a convention. But if I conceive at the beginning of the month, I could be in the full throes of morning sickness by then and that could make everything miserable! Then again, if I wait until the end of the month, it throws off my schedule and it will be harder since I will be away from DH for the three days before I ovulate. Besides, the sooner the better!

Am I just worrying too much? What do you think I should do? My husband, I think, is pretty sick of me talking about it. He thinks I'm over-thinking it.

missnacholover · February 2014

You need to chill. If you want to start trying in June, start trying in June, no matter when you ovulate.

Plus, it's WAY too early to project ovulation for JUNE. Your cycle can change. For example - my last cycle I O'd almost a week early. Sometimes our bodies do weird things and you can't bank on it shooting out an egg on exactly the same day every cycle.

jnnfrrose6 · February 2014

Time to relax and step away from TB (after you read all of our helpful responses, of course

).

First, there's no guarantee you'll get knocked up the first month out, so don't set yourself up for disappointment already by expecting it to be easy. It may not be (or it may, but you shouldn't assume anything).

Second, if you are lucky enough to get pregnant that quickly, you do not know how your body will react to being pregnant and what morning sickness you may or may not get, so don't borrow trouble there either.

Third, looking at a calendar right now will in no way tell you when you will ovulate in June. Please do a little more research on your cycle. This would be a great time to start temping and charting so that you will have a better idea closer to the time when to expect your fertile window. Fertility Friend is a great resource for this.

Jags8 · February 2014

I have nothing to add, I just want to reiterate that these ladies have all given you fantastic advice.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2014

Way overthinking.

Let's say for argument's sake you ovulate June 1 and conceive then. If your graduation is 6/15-- you will at best, just be finding out you are pregnant, and you will only be about 4 weeks pregnant.

I did not have morning sickness, but anecdotally (according to my OB) morning sickness doesn't kick in until about 6 weeks.

This is all IF you get pregnant your first try and IF you have morning sickness. In my close group of friends (there are 8 of us), 5 of us have toddlers and two are now pregnant with their first babies. Only one friend had any type of nausea at all during her pregnancy. Obviously this varies greatly, but I thought I would share my own personal experience.

GL.

SmileyJay · February 2014

I am an ultra-planner-over-thinker too and have learned so much from the lovely ladies on these boards. So stick around. I am embarrased to say that before ttc I really thought we would get pregnant immediately. We are young, very healthy, and both doing everything we can to improve fertility. I have cycles like clockwork and temping confirms I ovulate regularly. This is the first month ttc and I realize now that it is not as easy as it seems. I think most of us spend so many years trying NOT to get pregnant that we assume it will happen immediately.

The likelihood that you get pregnant in June, no matter what you seem to think, is about 20% if you are both healthy. Also, like pp said, every woman has different symptoms at different times. Super early in pregnancy you would not have any intense symptom. I would just start trying early June but start temping now so you can confirm ovulation. It sounds like you are just using a chart that guesses instead of using your temperature.

If it's any consolation, I was way more baby crazy leading up to ttc. Now I've sort of mellowed out and realize if it happens it happens. If not, we will be okay. There is only so much prep you can do and you still have 9 months after a BFP.

ombradellarosa · February 2014

Thank you so much, ladies! My husband has a very laid-back attitude (thank God, one of us has to!) and he reminded me that I might not have morning sickness, might not get pregnant right away, etc. It is nice to have it confirmed by people who know. I wasn't planning to chart or temp or anything, I was going to just go with the flow, stop BCP in June and not even 'try' so much as stop trying not to conceive. At some point I went a little crazy planning and lost sight of that. I'm going to try to focus on that again, just relaxing, enjoying where I am, and living in the moment. I do know now though that it's better to stop BCP and use backup a few months before. I have an appt with my GP in April so I'll talk to her about TTC then. In the meantime, I'll try to relax and focus on the matter at hand! Thanks again.

I'll try to wean myself away from all the articles, but I think the boards might be helpful since you all know what I'm going through! And I need to talk to someone about it occasionally since my husband does not want to hear it.

Edit: posted at same time as TheCraftyKoala

Thanks! I think you're right about my assumption it will happen right away. And I was most definitely only guessing based on my cycle based on the pills and a 28-day cycle, It probably will change by then. Do you all think I really should start temping now? I'm wondering if I maybe shouldn't save that for later and once June hits just start babymaking whenever. Then again, I am pretty naive

SmileyJay · February 2014

@ombradellarosa - you are still 6 months out so plenty of time to decide what approach to take ttc... I will say that it really helps me to track my cycles. I feel so relieved to know for sure I did ovulate and we timed things correctly instead of being disappointed and blaming myself for no reason. My husband actually finds the charts fascinating and really likes learning how to improve our chances (not just preventing)... like knowing what is going on before or after ovulation, when I should test, etc.. or like last week he bought some new vitamins online because his weren't as high in zinc as he would like for optimum sperm health . It is super cute and supportive. He is relaxed about it and so easy going and tells me not to worry... but it really makes me feel like I am not in this alone. I think I would feel resentful otherwise if I was the only one actively trying. Your hubby may get more "into it" when it is not just a 6 months away hypothetical scenario. Mine sure did.

I hope this helps and fingers crossed for a healthy June pregnancy for you!

NerdyLucy · February 2014

ombradellarosa said:

Do you all think I really should start temping now? I'm wondering if I maybe shouldn't save that for later and once June hits just start babymaking whenever. Then again, I am pretty naive

I started temping a few weeks before TTC because I wanted to get in the habit.

I'm glad I did because I found myself skipping days in the beginning because I would forget to temp before getting up and moving around, and by the time I realized, it was too late.

jnnfrrose6 · February 2014

I agree about temping before you start actively TTC. Coming off of BCP your body will take time to adjust. For some women it's only a couple of months, for others it's longer. Temping is a great way to know what is going on with your body, when/if you ovulated, and when to expect your period as a result. I started temping around the time we were ready to start trying for #2 because I wanted to know when I should expect my period. It was a bonus for me to know when my fertile window was.

FemShep · February 2014

You've received some great advice so far. In addition, I'd recommend:

-Do not start temping and charting until you're off BCP. There's no point in it until you stop hormonal birth control.

-Expect your cycles to change, and possibly to take some time to regulate, after you stop BCP. And keep in mind that cycles change spontaneously, and that's totally fine and normal. I went from a 35-day cycle before having DD1 to a 29-day cycle before having DD2. Also, ovulation can be delayed at any time, and that's *also* totally normal. Charting helps you understand if you've ovulated at all, when you've ovulated, and if you're actually late....or just waiting to ovulate.

-Check out the newbie blog post in the Trying to Get Pregnant board, it has fantastic advice.

-Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and become better educated about how your body works. TCOYF explains the science behind conception, ovulation, and charting, and is an amazing resource for all women.

Good luck!

LimaD · February 2014

Wow, you sound a lot like me. lol
A lot of good advice so far. When TTC, like you mentioned you're not really as in control of the outcome as you want to be. It's a good thing to get used to because being flexible will be important when you DO have a baby!

GL!

ombradellarosa · February 2014

@LimaD glad to know I'm not the only one!

Thanks for the further good advice. It sounds like my best bet will be to start getting in the habit of temping and charting in April when I go off BCP. I am trying to get used to being flexible and relaxing, I just hope it takes! Thanks again.

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