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Missmommyxoxo · February 2014

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Brissett · February 2014

Everyone is entitled to their opinions however, this post seems very judgemental and makes the assumption that the reasons women choose to go back to work is because they have to - not because they may want to. For me, going back to work is less about having to and more about wanting to. I spent many years obtaining my bachelors degree and my masters degree and I take pride in my career. I love my children but, I also love my job and I feel fortunate that I don't have to choose one (children or career). I can have both!

Avion22 · February 2014

I love my job and am the primary breadwinner -- actually right now I'm the SOLE breadwinner because my husband is just finishing up his masters from going back to school. So you think that somehow we should be financially stable enough for ME to quit my 6-figure job to STAY HOME? From a job I love? That provides all of our benefits? I'm sorry, but you are on crack.

Not that it's any of your business, but I will be going back to work 6 weeks after the baby is born, and my husband will SAH for the first several months. Once the next school year starts, he will either go back part-time to keep his skills sharp, or full-time if he can find a full-time position (we'll be moving to a new area, so we don't know what the job market is like for teachers right now).

Honestly, I don't see how our choice to go back to work or stay at home or any combination of the two is any of your effing business in the first place. You want to stay home with your kid, that's great. Some of us want to go back to work, or have to go back to work, and there are plenty of solutions out there that will allow us to continue to raise our kids the way we want to (might not be the way YOU want us too, but hey, they're not YOUR kids).....\

So I think you need to butt out of other people's decisions.

Missmommyxoxo · February 2014

I understand some people go to work because they love their job, but I figure if you love your job that much and you're that committed to it, then maybe having kids isn't a good idea. Having kids is a whole job of its own. You can't commit fully to both, one of is going to take more of your time. That's why I think if you choose a career path that's going to be a very demanding job, then you should have your husband stay home or have other arrangements.
These are all the things that I personally think, and I just wanted to see who agreed and who disagreed for what reasons.
I'm not on crack nor am I butting into your decisions. I didn't ask you to comment on this post. I voiced my opinion and I gave people the option to speak their mind on the subject.
Have a nice day.

my1stbabyat23 · February 2014

Op having a baby it is not an excuse to stay home! And going back to work does not mean some of us were not ready to have a child. I find your post absurd. You said if "we can't afford them" like if babies are for purchase. The reason some of us do go back to work so soon is to provide for them even more than if we were not working. I will have my mom to help and my H when he is off and for that I am thankful. But for those who don't have the help and need daycare help theres also nothing wrong with that. I'm sure it is heartbreaking leaving your baby in the hands of others but some of us don't live a perfect life like you and need the extra help!

rainydayluck · February 2014

Aside from all your asinine comments and idiocy, how in the world can you think that people who send their kids to daycare weren't in a good place financially to have them? Do you have any clue how freaking expensive daycare is?

tsmith312 · February 2014

WOW... Some women have no choice but to go back to work. Just bc you don't want to stay home does not make you a bad mother or irresponsible . I'm lucky enough I have family willing to watch her when I return to work ( 6 weeks after I have her flame or judge if you will ). But we cant stand on DHs income alone and that DOES not make us bad parents , better yet it makes us better parents bc this way I know we can provide the best stable home for her. Yes , we could probably make it on his salary alone but we can do even better with 2 incomes . Get out of 1950, its 2014 !!!

Stephout · February 2014

Missmommyxoxo said:
This does not apply to single mothers, or unplanned pregnancies. This applies to the women who are married or are with the father of the child, and who planned to get pregnant.
I don't think it's right to plan to have a baby, and then go back to work 6 weeks or 12 weeks later, whatever the allowed time is. If you plan on having a child, I think you should be in a good financial situation first so that way you can stay home and take care of your baby instead of going to work. I personally can't believe some women plan to have a baby and then plan to go back to work. Why would you leave your newborn in daycare or someone else's care other than the parents?
I just don't think it's right to have kids and not be able to afford them. If you can't afford them without leaving them everyday for work, you shouldn't be having babies yet.
Any thoughts on that subject?
I know it sounds kinda brutal, but it's something I have yet to understand.

Must be nice to have a spouse who makes so much that you can afford to remain a spoiled brat. And one who is so tolerant of your ignorance! I bet he is just awesome.

nlane0723 · February 2014

Guess what, OP? I'm going back to work (remotely) at 4 weeks. Gasp! I must be a horrible mother.

The kid rolling around in my belly cost approximately $15,000 - $20,000 to conceive and I'm not a trust fund baby. We busted our ass to even afford her conception and we will continue to pay for her conception for several years. Some parents don't have the ability to do the deed and get pregnant without divine intervention. I guess my desire to be a mother was a terribly selfish decision because I have to continue working to afford the fact that she was even placed in my uterus. Without my amazing job, I wouldn't even have a chance to be a mom. You sound like a self entitled, ignorant child.

Andplusalso, I LOVE my job and I busted my ass to get where I am. I don't want my baby girl growing up believing that her sole purpose in life is to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. Welcome to 2014.

LibbyVille · February 2014

First of all, you are clearly just trying to start drama. Shame on you for that. I am perfectly able to manage a full time job and parenthood. DD thrives in daycare. It is hard sometimes just as being a SAHM has it's challenges. There is no perfect time to have a baby. If women had to wait to be able to afford being a SAHM to have children, the county's fertility rates would plummet. You are crazy, OP.

LEIGHLOVE09 · February 2014

Can't even respond to this.

rockopera · February 2014

My thoughts on this are that you sound like a huge douchebag, and that was your intention in posting this. And that it's none of your business why anyone chooses to have children, work, or stay home.

Rrrrrachel · February 2014

I can't believe you think it's any of your business what other people do.

NerdyLucy · February 2014

Whoa. I'm trying to decide if this post is serious or not.

ETA:

You know, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

SAHM are selfish and lazy.

Working moms are selfish and uncaring.

Career women who work and choose to not have children are selfish and cold.

These are all strong opinions that people voice loudly, but frankly, there are no right answers.

NerdyLucy · February 2014

dotgirl2 said:

Ladies, ladies! Don't feed the troll. She just joined on Saturday and this is her only post. She's just trying to get us worked up. Don't give her the satisfaction.

She should've just posted this on the Working Moms board.

Laurenandshaun · February 2014

I find your comments and judgements very ignorant and offensive. We live in a part of the country that has a very high cost of living. Many families cannot rely on one income, this isn't 1950 anymore. Daycare is an added expense but our family income is still much more with both of us working rather than one of us being a stay at home parent. And that allows us to provide better financially for OUR FAMILY so im not sure why this would make us unfit to be parents. And news flash-not everyone has parents in the area who can take of their kids! And they have a career and their own life too! Lastly, I'm very excited to be a parent and spend lots of quality time with them but it shouldn't define entirely who you are. I had a career, aspirations, hobbies/interests before I became a parent and while I understand the priority of those things changes a lot when you become a parent (and i am completely content and ready to do so) I am not giving up those things entirely. I think to do so is unhealthy.

carrieandtim · February 2014

I think this is a case where you should keep your unrealistic opinions to yourself.

yellowjellybeans · February 2014

I hope to God one day you need a job so badly, your life depends on it. And on the interview they tell you, "im sorry what? you're a mother? you can't simply do both be a parent and have a job, you're simply not capable. get your priorities straight." Then I hope the long walk home gives you some introspective insight about what you just said. Hate to burst your bubble built out of cotton candy dearest.

ifr8955 · February 2014

Seriously, quit trying to stir up trouble.

olenkapdx · February 2014

Silly troll!

Kriztyn · February 2014

Is this a serious post? Or something to get everyone riled up??

Good Luck to the poster... these pregnancy hormones we all have on this post will rip you to shreds.

Kriztyn · February 2014

Just clicked on her name.. this is her only post....

Wasting our tiiiiiime.

KariB509 · February 2014

Here's my opinion: you're an asshole and need to mind your own business. If you want to be a sahm, fine, but not everyone WANTS to.

ahare2009 · February 2014

Brissett said:

Everyone is entitled to their opinions however, this post seems very judgemental and makes the assumption that the reasons women choose to go back to work is because they have to - not because they may want to. For me, going back to work is less about having to and more about wanting to. I spent many years obtaining my bachelors degree and my masters degree and I take pride in my career. I love my children but, I also love my job and I feel fortunate that I don't have to choose one (children or career). I can have both!

Same here and I will be returning to work after 6 weeks. Even if we could afford to take more time, FMLA only guarantees me my job for 12 weeks.

peachy0709 · February 2014

Missmommyxoxo said:

I understand some people go to work because they love their job, but I figure if you love your job that much and you're that committed to it, then maybe having kids isn't a good idea. Having kids is a whole job of its own. You can't commit fully to both, one of is going to take more of your time. That's why I think if you choose a career path that's going to be a very demanding job, then you should have your husband stay home or have other arrangements. These are all the things that I personally think, and I just wanted to see who agreed and who disagreed for what reasons. I'm not on crack nor am I butting into your decisions. I didn't ask you to comment on this post. I voiced my opinion and I gave people the option to speak their mind on the subject. Have a nice day.

I know I'm not suppose to feed the troll, but holy contradictions! "I want your opinions, but I didn't ask you to comment."

mrstengallonhat1 · February 2014

Interesting first post, OP. Go away already.

ABColeslaw · February 2014

Wait is this a regular poster? Can't be. There are a million reasons to stay home and a million reasons to work. Either way what another woman and her family chooses to do for any reason, is none of your damn business.

awc1986 · February 2014

On behalf of working mothers everywhere, the most constructive thing I have to say is:

FUCK YOU.

SNOakes · February 2014

Well aren't you a cute little shit stirrer! How rude and judgmental of you. Go away.

honey740 · February 2014

hmm joined feb 1st, 1 discussion 4 controversial replies. I vote troll.

megmegs · February 2014

Missmommyxoxo said:

This does not apply to single mothers, or unplanned pregnancies. This applies to the women who are married or are with the father of the child, and who planned to get pregnant. I don't think it's right to plan to have a baby, and then go back to work 6 weeks or 12 weeks later, whatever the allowed time is. If you plan on having a child, I think you should be in a good financial situation first so that way you can stay home and take care of your baby instead of going to work. I personally can't believe some women plan to have a baby and then plan to go back to work. Why would you leave your newborn in daycare or someone else's care other than the parents? I just don't think it's right to have kids and not be able to afford them. If you can't afford them without leaving them everyday for work, you shouldn't be having babies yet. Any thoughts on that subject? I know it sounds kinda brutal, but it's something I have yet to understand.

hfooter · February 2014

@missmommyxoxo You're an idiot.

notreal2 · February 2014

83edwards · February 2014

Wow....you better hope that your husband never leaves you.

PS I call MUD!

Missmommyxoxo · February 2014

Here's the thing ladies! This is a forum, incase you all haven't noticed. This is a place where everyone is free to speak their mind and their opinions, and that is exactly what I did.
Now, clearly I can see most of you disagree with me, which is fine, I knew a lot of people would. But this post was not meant to be trolling or stirring up trouble, and I feel bad for all of you lashing out at me. You are obviously so set in your ways and your own beliefs, that god forbid if anyone disagrees with how you do things, let's comment on their post and call them names and get mad. Give me a break. I asked for people's opinions on the matter, I didn't ask for the rude remarks, we aren't in high school, ladies. Or maybe some of you are. But that's beside the point.
And let me make one more thing very clear. Not that it's any of YOUR business, but I found a job I loved, I worked very hard to get it, then I got married. After I got married I wait years, before having kids. Why? Because I wanted to work that job, and love that job, and save up as much money as I could. So I did. Then my husband finally landed the job he had always wanted and was financially stable enough to support us without me having an income. THAT, is when I decided to have kids.
My whole point to this, is that if you can't afford a kid on one income, don't have one. And if you love your job too much to quit it, don't have a kid.
It's selfish to have a child and then pawn it off on someone else that works at a daycare center, or even a family member. Yes, having a family member watch your child would be better, but really, I'm sure if they wanted to take care of a kid all day they would have had their own.
Now, this makes a lot of you mad, because you don't agree with that logic, AND THATS FINE, but don't attack me for feeling the way I feel.
Speak your opinion and be nice about it, or get the hell off my post.
Have a LOVELY day.

Missmommyxoxo · February 2014

Guess what honey. That day will never happen. You wanna know why? Because me and my husband spent years saving and putting money away so that no matter what kind of emergency came up, we would always be financially stable. The only person who's gonna have a long walk home is you, when you wake up one day and your kid is 20 years old, and you think to yourself, "wow, I wish I could have spent more time with my kid, because now they aren't a kid anymore and I'll never get that time back because I decided some stupid job was more important than taking care of my responsibility, I decided I would pay someone else to take care of my responsibility instead." Think it's really worth it? Work all day just to have some extra money in your pocket, in exchange for letting some stranger watch your kid grow up more than you ever will?
Sad little world you live in, dearest.

RedInLove · February 2014

Missmommyxoxo said:

This does not apply to single mothers, or unplanned pregnancies. This applies to the women who are married or are with the father of the child, and who planned to get pregnant. I don't think it's right to plan to have a baby, and then go back to work 6 weeks or 12 weeks later, whatever the allowed time is. If you plan on having a child, I think you should be in a good financial situation first so that way you can stay home and take care of your baby instead of going to work. I personally can't believe some women plan to have a baby and then plan to go back to work. Why would you leave your newborn in daycare or someone else's care other than the parents? I just don't think it's right to have kids and not be able to afford them. If you can't afford them without leaving them everyday for work, you shouldn't be having babies yet. Any thoughts on that subject? I know it sounds kinda brutal, but it's something I have yet to understand.

So by your own statement, if a billionaire married working couple wife get KU unplanned, then it's OK for her to go back to work because the baby was unplanned. But a couple that plans their pregnancy and doesn't want to give up her or her stellar career as a teacher or brain surgeon or whatever it is, s/he's wrong to go back to work or to even have a baby because she's not staying home. You're saying that women should only find fulfillment, accomplishment, and pride in the raising of her child and not her academic and professional achievements. Wow.

But to actually answer your question. The reason you don't get or understand why a woman chooses to go back to work is because the woman doesn't owe you a fucking explanation for you to get or understand. It's none of your damn business, lady. Do you get it now? Good.

Hooper88 · February 2014

You really seen like a spoiled d-bag....

I have no other comments. I'm just hoping your post is fake and your here only to stir up some drama

kat8805 · February 2014

jess9802 · February 2014

Obvious troll is obvious.

mileswithmyles · February 2014

Missmommyxoxo said:

This does not apply to single mothers, or unplanned pregnancies. This applies to the women who are married or are with the father of the child, and who planned to get pregnant. I don't think it's right to plan to have a baby, and then go back to work 6 weeks or 12 weeks later, whatever the allowed time is. If you plan on having a child, I think you should be in a good financial situation first so that way you can stay home and take care of your baby instead of going to work. I personally can't believe some women plan to have a baby and then plan to go back to work. Why would you leave your newborn in daycare or someone else's care other than the parents? I just don't think it's right to have kids and not be able to afford them. If you can't afford them without leaving them everyday for work, you shouldn't be having babies yet. Any thoughts on that subject? I know it sounds kinda brutal, but it's something I have yet to understand.

Your post sounds very judgmental. My husband and I cannot afford to be a single income family because we want to provide a great life for our child. We own a home, have been in our respective careers for seven years, and enjoy being able to take a vacation here and there. If we were a single income household, these would not be the case. Additionally, if anyone were to stay home, it would be my husband because he makes less money that I do and has poor benefits offered through work, where as I get a great package along with my salary.

I don't know why you think this should only apply to people who are married to the father of their child. I will return to work to provide a great life for my child. I worked hard for my career and will set an example for my son by continuing to work hard.

PS- My brother and sister in law both stayed home with all 3 kids under the age of 5. Neither have been employed since they had their first child and they have been taking advantage of both their parents since baby # 1 arrived on the scene 5 years ago. But I'm glad to know that they are more acceptable in your eyes because they stayed home with their children, rather than me and my husband, who choose to work and can take of ourselves.

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