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Single Parents
Gamera3000
member
Moving out
Gamera3000
member
My ex who I live with has been acting funny for awhile-being too nice and shit. He said he was hanging out with his "lesbian friend". I've heard this "lesbian friend" shit before, when we were together the first time. So I checked the girls Instagram and it has my ex and her flirting and making kissy fucking emoticons at each other. Plus she's a young pretty fat girl and that's what he's into. Please note I'm in recovery from anorexia and bulimia. And I'm almost 37, so is he. Neither of us have any damn business fooling around with kids in their early twenties. He's never been shy about letting me know that I should weigh more, even when I was a little chunky. Awesome since I actually prefer average sized guys and he has always been obese. The only time I ever say a damn thing about his weight is if he's having trouble putting on pants. And he hasn't gotten that heavy much. Maybe a couple times in 20 years.
We hadnt discussed if we were getting back together or what, but we've had many long serious talks about him being my sons legal father and him taking care of me if I need it. Because if he's not ready to do these things I need to move out so I'm in a better position to be independent. I was confident that he wanted to be a family with me and Thor. He's been making all kinds of family type plans for when Thor is born.
And speaking of he knows I'm on bed rest and am supposed to get checked tomorrow for my labor like symptoms.
I texted him the Instagram picture and told him I need my car back and I'm moving out. I already talked to my old landlord and he's happy to take me back, even with a baby, a pit bull, and three cats.
I know he read the message a couple hours ago and he was supposedly 5 minutes away but he hasn't responded or come back yet.
I feel so betrayed and tricked. I've put at least 10k into this damned house and saved it from foreclosure. I get 2400 a month in disability, which is great for renting but not a lot for renovating a house and catching up a mortgage.
I just feel sick. And I felt sick anyway because of whatever is physically going on with me and Thor.
We hadnt discussed if we were getting back together or what, but we've had many long serious talks about him being my sons legal father and him taking care of me if I need it. Because if he's not ready to do these things I need to move out so I'm in a better position to be independent. I was confident that he wanted to be a family with me and Thor. He's been making all kinds of family type plans for when Thor is born.
And speaking of he knows I'm on bed rest and am supposed to get checked tomorrow for my labor like symptoms.
I texted him the Instagram picture and told him I need my car back and I'm moving out. I already talked to my old landlord and he's happy to take me back, even with a baby, a pit bull, and three cats.
I know he read the message a couple hours ago and he was supposedly 5 minutes away but he hasn't responded or come back yet.
I feel so betrayed and tricked. I've put at least 10k into this damned house and saved it from foreclosure. I get 2400 a month in disability, which is great for renting but not a lot for renovating a house and catching up a mortgage.
I just feel sick. And I felt sick anyway because of whatever is physically going on with me and Thor.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Moving out
Just remember you are going to be a wonderful momma to Thor, you will be a wonderful independent mother to that beautiful little boy.
Im sorry that he hurt you and betrayed you. Im glad that your old landlord will take you back to rent again.
So many hugs for you and thor. Just hang in there. It will be better soon.
My ex has aspergers and hell often say he "doesn't understand" something, but when I explain it hell tell me my explanation is stupid. Such as I told him it was gross for me to imagine him with other girls even though we had not discussed being back together and he should not have lied to me about it in the first place. I said I didn't want stay here if his social life is going to stress me out.
He said I was being crazy and destructive by getting so upset and I wasn't being fair to him or putting Thor first. He screamed at me this morning about it, bringing up all kinds of things from guys he thought I was with to me not listening to him when I was working and having trouble at work.
I actually told him that during the times he thought I was partying it up I had been repeatedly raped for 9 years and had been drinking and trying to talk about it to get over it (all true). Again, more screaming because how could he have known that. He said he felt awful about all the bad things that had happened to me, but he said that while screaming at me.
All I wanted was for him to acknowledge that I've been going through some really hard shit and that hell just put his social life on hold for awhile. At no point did he seem to consider that he should put himself to the side and help me calm down. He just kept blaming me and accusing me of blaming him.
He has my car again today because his head gasket blew on his. If I have to go get checked I may see if one of my friends can get off work and take me.
All my animals came in my room with me and my dog is laying next to me looking at my face. They were all afraid during the fighting and kept looking at me to see if I was okay.
Im sorry to hear about you being raped. That is aweful, and terrible, and no one should experience that. Hopefully you can move out soon.
And for what its worth i think your putting thor first by moving out. And im glad you had all your fur babies with you last night. So many hugs for you Gamera
We talked on the way to the hospital and agreed that neither of us would date and wed put the relationship stuff on the shelf and just concentrate on family and house stuff.
I thought that's what we were doing in the first place, but I guess we were not on the same page.
So I'm staying for now and hopefully things will be okay. Things were going very well before all this. It is very, very hard to have a long term relationship (of any type) with someone who has aspergers. They can sometimes be so heartbreaking and cruel and they will never understand why what they did was so bad. All they can do is file it away under "when I do x, y happens, so don't do x anymore."
I understand how hard it can be dealing with a relationship with someone with aspergers.
Hugs. How did your check up go? Any news? Howre you and Thor doing?
Now he's downstairs in his room wrapped up like a burrito with no tv on, no music, and no laptop. I asked him what was wrong and he said he felt sick and was stressed out. I asked if he wanted me to bring him anything and he said no. So I just fed his dogs for him and came back upstairs.
I suppose it must be stressful to have to dump ones child bride gf of one week because your pregnant wife of 20 years who takes care of you isn't cool with it. I mean, who hasn't been there, right?
He also had to scoop the litter and take the trashcan out to the curb so I guess that was pretty hard too.
Hugs, take a relaxing bath and snuggle your fur babies
I am a huge autism advocate and I think it's fine for people to just be different, but it is so stressful to explain things to him sometimes. We've both been professionally IQ tested and he is a whopping 40 points smarter than me. It's hard sometimes to have to take care of someone that smart. It's hard to accept that they just don't get some very simple things.
One good thing came out of this-I'm confident that he wants to be a father to Thor and he's happy about him coming.