Is this AWish?

SuperTinkerham · January 2014

I'm on team green. If we were to find out on accident nobody will know that we know. We will stick to the plan because I don't want a pink vomitorium pile of gifts or sports nonsense. If you do find out, and don't want to share, I'd keep that to yourself. Otherwise you look like a schmuck to your friends.

sxymamakat · January 2014

Bliss+Berry said:

sxymamakat said:

I know some people on here get super bitchy when they feel someone makes a decision regarding announcing or not in order to "manipulate their shower gifts" to use words I've seen, but I think my boyfriend's brother and his wife were right- we knew it was a boy and they got boy things at the shower, but didn't share the name because she didn't want things personalized so they couldn't be reused. It's a valid point! Also, it worked out because almost everyone hated the name they picked (although it does suit my nephew now, just was out of line with what we all expected) so they didn't have to hear it.

I love passive aggressive posters. Really. And as for the rest of it?

Well, I couldn't remember your name before, but now I remember how I do loathe when you pipe up in a board. You're not the only who has said the shower comment (guilty conscience there on your part much?), and I'm certainly allowed my opinion. You're generally nasty and abrasive with your posts, and I'd love a block feature to not have to listen to you. Go back under your rock.

alyssa719 · January 2014

I guess the new words for "honest and blunt" are "nasty and abrasive"?? OH gee, sorry that not everyone is full of puppies and rainbows... especially when talking about manipulating others to get what they want.

sxymamakat · January 2014

alyssa719 said:

I guess the new words for "honest and blunt" are "nasty and abrasive"?? OH gee, sorry that not everyone is full of puppies and rainbows... especially when talking about manipulating others to get what they want.

Read some of her posts on other threads. I don't do puppies and rainbows, but choosing not to share a sex to avoid getting pink everything? People do far worse things, and it's their baby, their choice. Glad to have white knight though!

alyssa719 · January 2014

Yes, I'm definitely what one would consider a "white knight".

BoraBoraBaby · January 2014

I agree that registries should be looked at more of a check list, that's exactly what we had in mind when we created ours. We definitely didn't expect a shower and we will be appreciative that people came to celebrate with us. A gift isn't expected but is a traditional custom in my family.
However, my family has always asked about the registry because they want to buy from it, so I can see how some could grow to assume those items will be looked at or considered if they're going to buy you anything. That's why so many invites include registries, right?
When I go to a shower, I've always liked to get one thing from the registry and one thing off, and the off registry item is always clothing for 0-3 months, so I LOLd when PP said she was trying to avoid a bunch of that. I know for a fact lots of mommies get one or two (if any) uses out of their stash of 0-3 month clothing but I can't resist buying them anyway!!
It definitely helps me to see why I should consider buying that nose sucker and baby bullet, or whatever else is practical so mommy actually gets some use out if it. I don't really see anything wrong with preferring practical gifts, it's not like someone is telling you which item to buy, they're just trying to steer you away from buying something they don't think they'll need. Saying on your shower invite "practical gifts only, no clothes" would be my definition of being pretty damn tacky, however.
ETA: clarity is difficult at 4:30am.

Unknown · January 2014

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Unknown · January 2014

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AnotherPreggo · January 2014

Bliss+Berry said:

Also, FWIW, babies need clothes and lots of them. You'll soon learn that when it's 3 a.m. and your on your 3rd or 4th blowout, pukefest, etc. of the night and your so freaking tired you haven't gotten to the laundry in a few days.

I keep seeing all these posts about people not wanting clothes. Where do you people live that you have all these nekkid babies?

In a house

Ecomom17 · February 2014

TallMomma29 said:

alysson.lawless said:

My aunt did this. They picked the name out but wouldn't tell us until birth. It was super annoying. I'm going to tell people what we are having, and if we pick a name we like, I'll share it. If someone is criticizing the name, I just go "lalalalala" in my head while they speak.

I think it's kind of fun when people announce the name of the baby when the baby is born, because it makes it a little more exciting than "well! we finally had that baby that we've all been telling you about for the past 9 months!!" But at the same time, for some reason it drives me crazy when people keep the name a secret and then the name is something boring/common like Amy or Matthew. (No offense to people who like those names, I'm just using it as an example!). I don't know... for some reason when people keep the name a secret I'm hoping for something cute and creative. I'm not talking about full on made up names like Pilot Inspektor or Hermajesty. Just something a little more unique than Amy Marie (obviously for some reason I'm harboring a grudge toward someone who named their kid Amy).

Wow, thanks for hating on my name. I personally think it's lovely despite how common it was in my generation and it also suits me. And I'm NOT boring.

But, I guess that's one thing about names: can't please everyone, so why give a crap what someone else thinks?

Ecomom17 · February 2014

To the OP: I don't think it's AWish depending on how you go about it. Obviously if you find out and then announce that you know but aren't saying...that's AWish. If you just don't say anything, fine.

As far as not announcing a name, I think there are lots of valid reasons not to share if you've actually chosen a name. With DS we narrowed it down to 2 names and didn't share them b/c we knew we weren't going to make a final decision until we met DS and got to know him a bit. We wanted the name to fit his personality. Same with this baby.

Eener31 · February 2014

I'm telling the sex but not the name. People are too judgmental when you tell the name. They always say something like "Oh, I knew I girl named x; she grew up to be a meth head" or "If you're going to name your son x, I guess you don't care if he gets beat up, huh?" And as much as you don't want to let it bother you, now you have this image of a meth addict girl with your daughter's name stuck in your head or replay your little boy getting beat up on the playground and asking you why you couldn't name him something else. No thanks!

The only way I can see not telling the sex is if you don't want people to start super-gendering your baby, but the people who really want to do that are going to do it no matter when they find out. They will buy your daughter that pink princess onesie or your son that sports jersey regardless. Just be prepared for a lot of pink and blue shit, the end.

alysie89 · February 2014

We do team green for 2 reasons. We like the surprise, and if we knew my MIL would go crazy with boy or girl stuff in such an oddly tacky way. (It's hard to explain if you've never seen it)
She also wants us to have a boy SUPER bad so for that reason if we'd found out even by accident we just keep our mouths shut abt it. We just hate people making life plans for our child before they're born, and trying to execute them.

As for the name, there's no way I'd tell. It's my god given right to change my mind or think it doesn't fit. I don't want to hear "well I liked the other one better" or "well I'll just call them X(the name you decided against), I like it way better." Yes all this shit has happened, but then I do have a family that's lacking in the tact and common sense gene.

Do what's right in your world. If you know that at the shower if it's a girl you will get 6 pink frilly tutu's and 8 dresses for 0-3 month old and not a single other practical item besides clothes, that May factor into my decision. Possibly because it really does help getting receiving blankets, a diaper bag and various other things.

ChrisB · February 2014

If people ask, we are telling. The sex, the name, nursery colour...everything! We're excited and both of us are bad at keeping "secrets". The family on both sides wants to be involved with helping out (i.e. my boyfriends Dad is an artist, so we have asked him to paint a small mural in the nursery). This is the first grandchild on both sides, so all four of them are extremely excited. My parents have already bought some stuff (against me asking them not to, i don't want them feeling like they have to buy anything), so my only concern is once they find out the sex of the baby, they will go into shopping overdrive. I've been told by my Mom that they've waited years for this and it is their pleasure to buy stuff for their grandchild. So be it. I am not going to burst their bubble by telling them they absolutely can not buy anything or help us in anyway.

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