Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
shandorfml2
member
Re: TTCAL Checkin
Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?
nope
QOTW: Do others know you are TTCAL? How far along will you wait before announcing?
My parents and close friends know. In the beginning they were nosey and would ask "are you trying?". My fam and close friends will know right away as I won't be able to contain myself. Work, I'll probably wait until 2nd tri.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Waiting to test..waiting to test...ugh. With ym daughter, I got a faint pos on 13dpo and pos on a digi at 14dpo. So, trying to wait until 12 or 13 to test but it's hard!!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
I am going to go ahead and join again this week (*deep breaths*)...AF is due today, as soon as she shows I am officially off the bench!
Where are you on your TTCAL journey? waiting on CD1
Do you have any relevant appts. upcoming?as soon as AF shows I am to call my RE and go in to discuss the results of my karyotype and to discuss protocol...at this point it is looking like I will be doing letrozole next cycle.
QOTW?no one knows any sort of dates for ttcal...our parents may have an idea because they know we are working with an RE but I don't like everyone knowing the timing of my cycles. My first pregnancy I told family immediately and slowly told close friends thruout first tri, and announced to the world at 13 weeks. 2nd pregnancy- we told family immediately 3rd preg.- we told no one until we lost the baby...this time we won't tell a soul until we see a heartbeat, then we will tell family. I may tell close friends and work at 13 weeks but I prob. won't disclose it to anyone else...they can figure it out on their own.
Open topic I am just getting antsy about getting this cycle started...i'm ready to know what is going on but my RE is all business and won't discuss it until my appt. I am just ready to know my game plan.
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
Where are you in your TTCAL journey? 2nd cycle after loss- First official cycle TTC- CD7
Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?
none at this time
QOTW: Do others know you are TTCAL? How far along will you wait before announcing? No one knows yet- I'm honestly not even 100% with my husband yet. We agreed we would hold off on making plans until the autopsy results were back to be sure there wasn't anything else to hold us up. Well, I should be Oing in about a week and a half and no results yet. I'm probably going to give it until next weekend. We might tell our parents that we are TTC but otherwise, keeping it pretty private. I think we will probably tell parents and close friends during first tri but probably won't make any public announcements until after our 20 week anatomy scan since that was when we lost our baby boy.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just want the stupid autopsy results. I have a feeling that it will either confirm what our OB already thinks or tell us nothing at all and I don't want it to hold us up from taking the next step
BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011
BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident
BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown
To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.
BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011
BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident
BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown
To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.
BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011
BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident
BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown
To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.
Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? I had my annual OB appt today to make sure everything looks good and my pap is all clear before we start IVF.
QOTW: Do others know you are TTCAL? How far along will you wait before announcing? Not IRL right now. Pregnant people is another story. My parents know we are planning another IVF because I have to stay with them during monitoring. It's a bummer, but the RE we work with is local to where we lived (and are currently trying to move back to!) before moving here, so it's an out of state trek.
I don't plan on telling anyone else we are doing a cycle, and WHEN it is positive (positive intentions right!?) I have no idea when we will announce. We told my parents and sisters right away with Jesse because they knew we did an IVF. We told immediate family and very close friends at 16 weeks. There is no safe zone, so part of me wants to tell right away once we see a HB, and part of me doesn't want to tell anyone until we have a healthy baby that we can see and hear and touch. We will probably just let people find out as they see me and it's obvious.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? DH leaving- he put in his 2 weeks today, and starts his new job on the 17th. It's in the city we are trying to move to, so he will be staying there with his brother until we sell our house and buy a new one. T hat means I will be a bachelorette for an unknown amount of time, bc I have to stay here to take care of the animals and house. I'm not looking forward to living in separate states
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
AF should be here this coming week and then we are doing our first medicated cycle of Clomid from days 3 to 7 followed by a trigger shot and timed intercourse. The trigger shot is now in the fridge so it's making it real. I am so nervous as this will be our sixth pregnancy with no living kids yet but I am trying not to think about it as it's too much pressure. If this doesn't work we are moving forward with IVF and PGD due to our chromosomal loss history.
Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?
Ultrasound once I get AF and then ultrasound after Clomid days.
Do others know you are TTCAL? How far along will you wait before announcing?
No one knows. A couple people know we are considering fertility meds but no one knows our timeline. Given our history we won't tell anyone until VERY late on. It's sad but it's just too hard to un-tell all the time.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Emotionally preparing myself for another cycle if that's even possible. A bit nervous about the side effects of Clomid and the trigger shot but I know it will be OK.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
Where are you in your TTCAL journey? Right now, just in a holding pattern. We're giving ourselves a little more time to fully recover from our loss, both emotionally and physically but we've started talking about TTC again more frequently.
Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? I just had my 6 week check up yesterday and my OB said I'm pretty much recovered. I'm finally off my bp meds and able to maintain a normal reading without it, yay! I scheduled an appt. with an MFM for later this month, but yesterday my OB said she has two she works with and would prefer me to use them so I'll be cancelling that appt. One of her preferred MFMs though is the one I saw for my 2nd opinion with Jack that admitted me...meaning I'd have to deliver in the same hospital as Jack was born. Not sure about that one.
QOTW: Do others know you are TTCAL? How far along will you wait before announcing? They know DH and I are furiously stubborn about having a child so I'm sure they assume we will, but we're not telling anyone anything. I supposed we'll wait and see this time. Before Jack I swore I wouldnt tell anyone until I was showing and had to....but ended up spilling the beans to close friends and family as soon as the peestick dried. I'd say I'll wait until after our anatomy scan this time but we'll see.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Actually not a whole lot.... surprisingly
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
Where are you in your TTCAL journey? Right now I'm still working on healing emotionally and physically. This week was three months, but I was 41+ weeks had a C-Section. I'm still sore from time to time.
Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? Just my annual exam coming up in a couple months. We'll probably talk more with the midwife then about when to start TTC again.
QOTW: Do others know you are TTCAL? How far along will you wait before announcing? We probably won't tell anyone when we are TTC, we didn't last time. Last time we told my parents at 7 weeks because we needed my mom's help deciding on a doctor (were only recently in town), but told the rest of the family at about 13 weeks (earlier than I wanted, but it was Easter and I couldn't really hide anymore anyway).
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm just frustrated over having had a C-Section (emergency) and what that means for TTC. I really would like to not have another C-Section if possible. We really would like to try for a VBAC next time, but that means waiting at least 9 months. And of course, who knows how long it will take to get pregnant after that anyway. The possibility of bringing home another baby seems so far away.
This is month 3. I am only CD 12. Waiting for a temp spike.
Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?
I go in to see my OB in March to redo all of my original blood work. To see if my pregnancy with Bean changed anything. Maybe shine some light on why I can't seem to stay pregnant.
QOTW: Do others know you are TTCAL? How far along will you wait before announcing?
EVERYONE seems to know we are TTCAL. I feel like if I just posted on cycle on FB, people wouldnt ask every week, if its time to test or not. Its hard when it seems like you are the only one in your group that has problems.
We will tell immediate family right away. The rest will come as we go along. I don't do the FB thing with pregnancies. Too many disappointments.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?