This is goodbye

Cherylwang · January 2014

@SNLT1012 I cannot stop thinking about you and your family. I cannot imagine the pain you feel right now. Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better right now. I hope time will help heal you and your family. I hope when the time is right you will be on your way to bringing home your baby to add to your family.

LegalLadyBug · January 2014

I am so sorry, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. Thoughts and prayers for you.

ema10 · January 2014

I'm so very sorry for you.

mrsgyaray · January 2014

Sincerely sorry, though words are never really good enough in situations like this. You will be so missed. T&P for you.

Happydance80 · January 2014

I am so sorry for you, bf and your gorgeous girls. Please say whatever you need to say, anytime. T&p's.

puppylove556 · January 2014

So sorry

diagonalley · January 2014

SNLT1012 said:

My heart is so broken. I just told my girls the news and they are so sad. This is so hard. I wish I could unfeel my baby between my legs, unsee the look on the nurses when I asked them repeatedly if that was my baby, unknow this pain. I wish my boyfriend got to take home his son that he wanted so badly. I wish we could celebrate his damn birthday which is today instead of grieve for our son. I don't know what to do with myself. I just keep getting on here and reading the threads, mostly out of habit, and it just feels so weird to comment on anything, but I just don't know what else to do. My face has been rubbed raw and is red and tender from wiping away all the tears. My stomach hurts from being pushed on so strongly to force the placenta out. I'm sorry for being so graphic. I just need to get it out and I don't want to burden my real life friends with all of this.

Whatever you need, whenever you need it. Share away. We are all here for you.

EmbracingChange · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now.

elsa1688 · January 2014

CDK211 said:
@snlt1012- LeAnn, you contributed so much to our board. You are ALWAYS welcome to post here whenever you want. I've been thinking about you and your family all day. I am so, so sorry for the pain you and the family are experiencing, please don't apologize. If you need to post, post. Please tell us if there is any way we can help. I am so very sad for your loss.

I could not have said it better. You do whatever you need to do. Big hugs.

Kc4mom · January 2014

Don't feel bad posting. Your part of this group no matter what. Were you able to hold him and say goodbye? I have had a couple friends that had late losses. It is life changing. I know they found comfort in naming them and having a memorial. When I lost my little girl we had a plaque made and planted a tree. The kids still sit by the tree and talk to her.
There are some good books that help explaine it to kids. I think I had one names "we were going to have a baby but had an angle instead" I got
It on Amazon.
Please let us know what you need. We are here for you.

chaysefaith · January 2014

In the moment we chose not to see him. I wish I could take this decision back now. I guess because I didn't quite make it to 20 weeks he wasn't "real." We don't get a birth or death certificate. No proof that he was here. I have a recording of his heartbeat from our elective ultrasound and a few ultrasound photos.

hollyfp · January 2014

I'm so so sorry

jodester2014 · January 2014

So sorry (((hugs)))

kibean · January 2014

Jonah was and is very real and he will always be an angel watching over you and your family. It is so unfair that you are going through this. Please let out all of the thoughts and feelings that you need to here. I wish we could do more to make things easier for you, but if you need people to listen, you have that any time with us.

Ashes92813 · January 2014

@snlt1012, let it out! It's healthy to let it out and you don't have to apologize for how you feel. It's your raw emotions coming out and it's part of the grieving process. I wish there was more I could do or say for you...

mjdavies · January 2014

I'm so sad to read this. My heart hurts for you. Thoughts, prayers, and hugs.

JMCB09 · January 2014

July lurker-
I'm so very very sorry for your loss. Many T&Ps to you in this terrible time.

lscal20 · January 2014

Don't apologize. We're all here for you and still praying for you and your family. Anything you need, we'll be here

1982Babies · January 2014

I am so sorry! Hang in there. Big hugs to you and your family.

MrsP419 · January 2014

I was not on the bump yesterday and just saw this post. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers.

zipscheer07 · January 2014

I am SO sorry for your loss! My heart breaks for yours family! Know you are in my thoughts and prayers!

quinnlucas6118 · January 2014

Your story is important and you can share as much as you want here. Your baby made a huge impact on your family and us and he will not be forgotten. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

bjt12 · January 2014

I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my T&P.

Mztwilson · January 2014

I'm completely heartbroken for you @snlt1012. I'm so very sorry for your loss

katekat8721 · January 2014

SNLT1012 said:

My heart is so broken. I just told my girls the news and they are so sad. This is so hard. I wish I could unfeel my baby between my legs, unsee the look on the nurses when I asked them repeatedly if that was my baby, unknow this pain. I wish my boyfriend got to take home his son that he wanted so badly. I wish we could celebrate his damn birthday which is today instead of grieve for our son. I don't know what to do with myself. I just keep getting on here and reading the threads, mostly out of habit, and it just feels so weird to comment on anything, but I just don't know what else to do. My face has been rubbed raw and is red and tender from wiping away all the tears. My stomach hurts from being pushed on so strongly to force the placenta out. I'm sorry for being so graphic. I just need to get it out and I don't want to burden my real life friends with all of this.

Oh honey I am so, so sorry (((((big hugs))))) We are here for you.

MrsKipper · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Puka99 · January 2014

SNLT1012 said:
In the moment we chose not to see him. I wish I could take this decision back now. I guess because I didn't quite make it to 20 weeks he wasn't "real." We don't get a birth or death certificate. No proof that he was here. I have a recording of his heartbeat from our elective ultrasound and a few ultrasound photos.

Please don't second guess your actions. You did the best you could at the time.

Even though we were not 20 weeks we got several keepsakes and a certificate of something from the hospital. I'll see if I can get the exact name.

Lots of prayers and hugs to you. Please do not hesitate to let me know of you need to talk.

mayjaybird · January 2014

@snlt1012 prayers for you and your family. Never apologize for your grief, it's another expression of the love you have for Jonah. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sareynoo · January 2014

Im so sorry for your loss.

CherSomething · January 2014

What? No! I am so sorry. Thoughts hugs and prayers. So sorry.

chaysefaith · January 2014

I got back the pathology report on him today. Still no definite answers. It looks like there may have been a defect, as he had some sort of slight facial abnormality, hopefully when the pathology on the placenta comes back there will be some answers. So far all I know about that is it was discolored on his side.

I just want to share what I learned about baby Jonah today.

He weighed .4 pounds.
His feet were just barely over 1 inch long.
He measured 4.6 inches from crown to rump.
His fingers, toes, arms and legs were perfect.

Sadly, he looked bruised all over his back, butt, and back of his thighs. It wasn't bruises, but it looks like bruises.

crhein26 · January 2014

SNLT1012 said:

I got back the pathology report on him today. Still no definite answers. It looks like there may have been a defect, as he had some sort of slight facial abnormality, hopefully when the pathology on the placenta comes back there will be some answers. So far all I know about that is it was discolored on his side. I just want to share what I learned about baby Jonah today. He weighed .4 pounds. His feet were just barely over 1 inch long. He measured 4.6 inches from crown to rump. His fingers, toes, arms and legs were perfect. Sadly, he looked bruised all over his back, butt, and back of his thighs. It wasn't bruises, but it looks like bruises.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please feel free to continue to share anything you need to so that you can get through this easier. We are here to listen to all of the difficult things you have a hard time sharing with others. Hugs and prayers to you. I hope that each day gets just a little easier.

Cherylwang · January 2014

I have been thinking about you and praying for you. Jonah will always have a special place in your heart.

katekat8721 · January 2014

SNLT please keep sharing with us and know we're here with you. I was thinking about you a lot today. I hope it's ok I share this with you. When I was going through IVF it was a really hard, dark time for me. I tried to keep positive and moving forward but was struggling.

I ended up buying a meditation thing to listen to on my ipod called Circle+Bloom. I can't say that it was a miracle product and the most amazing thing ever, but I can say that it really helped me. When I'm stressed now I still pop in the CDs and it helps relax me.

I was looking at it today and they have a free download for those mamas experiencing loss. It made me think of you and @schoolpsychsteph. Please don't feel like you have to use it and I'm hoping I don't offend you guys, I just want to throw this out there as an option to help. Love you girl

https://www.circlebloom.com/healing-recovery-program/

kbellizio3 · January 2014

I have nothing else to say that hasn't already been said. Please don't apologize for voicing your emotions. You need to. And we are always here to listen. Jonah was very real whether the government says so or not. I told DH about your story and Steph's, and even though he makes fun of me for bumping, he looked at me with a very sad expression and quietly said "God bless her and her family". Jonah will forever watch over you. I pray you get the answers to help you heal.

kibean · January 2014

As others have said, thank you for sharing that with us, as we all feel connected to you and baby Jonah. I hope that you can find answers and begin to heal.

colllydon · February 2014

I never know what to say in any sad situation. I just feel like I can't put into words how sad I am for you and how much I wish I could just make all the pain go away. I think about you all the time.

lscal20 · February 2014

Thank you for sharing what you learned about baby Jonah. I'm thinking about you still and praying for you and your family

QSerMama · February 2014

So sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

kjohnson1002 · February 2014

Jonah was very real..very real from the beginning for you and for all of us. Finding out answers will help because the unknown is scary. I hope you have peace soon with knowing. He is an angel now, hanging out with my little one I never got to meet.

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