Parenting Check-In

JGY · January 2014

Mostly copied directly from last week,

Good morning!

Tell us how things went with your little one this week (and remind us of his/her age). Also, please bring up any parenting questions that you would like input on or just use this space to vent frustrations, brag on your little one, etc.!

QOTW: What has been your biggest joy in parenting lately (read: provide some motivation for everyone)? What has been your biggest struggle (read: let's share our miseries a litle bit so we know we're all in good company)?

JGY · January 2014

@stringy813 I'm so glad that your swimming lesson went well. I completely forgot that Maya might still be in the infant car seat, I bet that helped a lot!

Gabe just turned 10 months and is now officially walking. Everywhere. He's also getting one of his upper front teeth, so that's exciting! I'm still working on trying to schedule his ear tube surgery. It now looks like we won't get in until the end of February. Here's hoping we can keep him infection free until then. Fat chance.

QOTW:

Joys - I have loved watching Gabe learn to walk. It's hilarious how his ability to do so goes so drastically downhill depending on how tired he is. He goes from fairly proficient, to looking like a little drunk, to pretty much a danger to himself as the clock winds towards bedtime.

I also love that he still is so keyed into music. It never fails, every Sunday as soon as the trumpet starts to play at the beginning of CBS Sunday Morning, he stops what he's doing and is clearly listening to that melody. It's awesome.

Struggles - We have some serious sleep regression going on. He's gone from reliably waking once per night, to twice per night, to last night where it was 4 times and the first was before we were even able to get ourselves into bed. Ugh.

I also echo @stringy813 's frustration with a Gabe demonstrating a preference for 1 parent over the other. And it's me, the nursing parent. It's especially hard for us since S was not the gung-ho, child-wanting person to begin with. I fear this only reinforces her apprehension and any frustration she has about having kids. I know the tides will turn and before I know it Gabe will be wanting "Fun Mama" instead of me, but right now it's just a really sucky time.

As always I feel like we could deal with things more effectively if we communicated better, but alas ... Anyone that figures out how to stretch the time in the day, let me know!

ATXmommas · January 2014

Ash will be 10 weeks on Thursday. That's just crazy. His 2-month we'll check was scheduled for last Friday, but was canceled due to Snowmageddon. We rescheduled for this Wed. I'm anxious to see his weight gain. I feel like he's on track for about an ounce a day - from what I can tell from our scale that only weighs in half pound increments. But, I'm nervous about what the dr might say if he hasn't gained as much as she wants.

I feel like we have made a little progress with naps. He will sometimes let me put him in the swing for a nap - and sometimes he'll hang out there while alert, which allows me to cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, etc. when I'm home alone.

Still doing he same routine at night. Bedtime for all of us between 8-9, wakes up b/t 11:30-12:30 and 3-4, then awake for the day around 6. It's doable. I really don't feel exhausted most of the time, but realize things could change when I go back to work.

Speaking of work, I go back soon - 2/18. I'm really dreading it. My plan is to work 3 PT days the first week, 5 PT days the second week, then full time. BTDT mommas, any coping tips?

QOTW:
I am so in love and get so tickled with all the faces this kid makes. I adore the squishy little faces he makes after he nurses and he has begun grinning up a storm. He also has a particular face whenever we put him in the bathtub that quite resembles a lizard and it makes me laugh every time. Although he laughs in his sleep quite often, he has yet to laugh in response to his mommas. I'm really looking forward to that.

Right now my biggest struggle is recurrent clogged ducts. I have tried everything and I keep getting them. Once I had been on lethicin for about a week, I went 12 days without one. Then I got 3 in the matter of 2 days. One was particularly bad and I think it was mildly infected because I felt achey and run down yesterday. It is clearing up, but the area still feels quite knotty. I have read everything and tried everything and I'm overwhelmed at the thought that this issue will continue throughout my BF journey. I find myself getting really angry at my breasts, which, of course, is me getting angry at myself. Trying to find more peace with this situation, but finding it really difficult. What I would do for loads of flowy milk...

Please forgive ant typos. I'm mobile

ATXmommas · January 2014

@stringy813 - desk job here too.

Ash was a little more needy last night, but it's not often that he wakes up more than two times between 8pm and 6am. Thank you for your input. I know I'm going to have to learn to let go of some things!

ATXmommas · January 2014

@winstan1 - I'm reminded of when our childbirth instructor told us - "And then when your child is 3 1/2, you are going to wonder if you are raising a sociopath." Not that you think your kid is a sociopath (

), but point is 3.5 seems to be a hard age for lots of parents! Glad you had a fun weekend!

Mystjava · January 2014

The third year is the hardest! It has been tough for me since he turn 3 1/2 years old but he's almost 4! I think things are getting better! I'm loving it when he's a sweetie but worried when he's naughty or defensive/angry. I'm glad to see that someone wrote/said that @atx mommas.
As for us, you can see from one of my discussion/questioning post, we've been facing the challenge of our little guy wetting his undies. I appreciate your suggestions and even tried one tonight. Positive actions! We have some new challenges facing us since we found out that my partner is having some health issues. Not quite sure how to navigate down this path yet but will take it one day at a time.

ATXmommas · January 2014

@mystjava - so sorry to hear your partner is having health issues. Hope all turns out well.

JGY · January 2014

@mystjava - I'm so sorry to hear about your partner's health. Health struggles are the worst, they can leave you feeling so helpless. Good luck!

@atxmommas - my only advice for going back to work is to just get through it. You did the right thing by scheduling yourself light to start with. It WILL get easier, but you can't expect it to be easy on day 1.

@herbabymama - are you consistently trying just 1 type of bottle or have you switched it up? We made a routine of trying a bottle every night before bed (with the added bonus that I then knew he had a full tummy). S always gave it to him and I left the room to pump. I told her she had carte blanche on decision-making around the bottle type. She tried a few and ended up with a strong opinion. 1 just worked better than the others. Then I went out and bought a bunch of those. Good luck!

So here's something funny. Background info., Gabe is in a Spanish immersion daycare. They do total immersion for infants, then all bilingual for toddlers and above. Anyway, we were never sure what his first word would be, and whether it would be English or Spanish. This weekend he kept repeating the same thing over and over and over again "Aaaaah - de" or something like that. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what that would be. Mystery solved, this morning another Dad at daycare said that his son had been saying "Agua" at home and he was surprised. The teacher said "Oh yes, all the kids in this room say 'Agua.'" That's hilarious, because we had swimming lessons this weekend and when I think back on it, that's when the constant barrage of that sound began. Poor little guy, trying so hard to communicate.

JGY · January 2014

@winstan1 - nice to see you around these parts. Please stick around!

JGY · January 2014

@herbabymama I could have worded that better. I was questioning my supply at the time, so rather than nurse him for that last time at night, we gave him a bottle so I knew how much he had eaten and that he had a full tummy before bed.

It's definitely easier to work on the bottle feeding when it's not a hunger crisis. I have read that some people begin the session by nursing, then switch to the bottle once the baby has started eating. You might want to try that as well. I'm sure LLL will have much better suggestions than I do. GL!

JGY · January 2014

@stringy813 we are SO lucky with our daycare. Ours is specifically marketed as a bilingual program, but you might have luck finding a daycare that is simply run by spanish-speakers and mostly intended for families who speak spanish at home. The only trick would be to make sure that communication between you and the providers is solid enough for your comfort level.

S and I do not speak any languages other than English. I am constantly embarassed about this. My Sister is fluent in French and can get by in German. She always picks up enough of the language of whatever country she is traveling to, in order to be able to communicate predominantly in their language. I wanted to set Gabe up for a life of dual (or more) language proficiency. And, as with anything, its easiest to start that when it isn't "Work" to learn it. The kids in our daycare consistently come out of the program with fluency in both languages so I'm excited to watch Gabe's language progression. And, as I posted in another thread today, I think his first word is "Agua," and we just didn't understand what he was saying!

So ... our daycare also does sign language with the kids. I don't think they do it as much as they like to say they do, but we also do some at home. It's pretty clear that Gabe knows the sign for milk. He used to do it with one hand while drinking, able to make the association of what he was doing with the sign for it. It took him a while to do the sign in order to communicate what he wanted (when he was hungry). And even since then, it's been pretty sporadic at best. I think he first did that around 81/2-9 months? We need to be more diligent about signing at home.

Anyone else out there sign with their kiddos?

Jazibel · January 2014

@jgy & @stringy813 -we use sign language with Kaden - we started with the basics at day one. He knows a bunch of signs and we've found it to be very helpful. We visited friends over the weekend and they remarked how they wished they'd taught their daughter more signs because she uses a loud voice/ screeches to draw attention to what she wants instead of signing "up" "drink", etc.

I'm joining in late - we had a super rough weekend. Kaden and I both came down with the stomach flu - he's still fighting off another (or the same I I'm not sure) flu with congestion and a fever. We've had some really long restless nights and I'm exhausted and feeling weak - though thankfully able to eat and drink now.

Other than that we had a lot of fun in LA and it was a relatively easy drive down & back.

QOTD: biggest joy is witnessing Kaden develop language. It's so exciting each new word or short (2 word) phrase he learns. And he gets so excited to be able to communicate his needs/ideas more clearly.

Biggest challenge - the toddler meltdown moments, like not wanting to get into the car seat and turning into a "floppy noodle". Sigh. It's hard to stay calm and keep a positive, even tone of voice, which we think is important part of our parenting style (not to yell, shame or demand, but instead to instruct and explain, request, etc..)

Mystjava · January 2014

Being the deaf mom here, I've been signing with my LO since he was born. Yes, I do use both ASL (American Sign Language) and SimCom (stimulatius communication which is both signing and using voice at the same time). Most infants from hearing families tend to pick up the signs around 4 to 5 months if the parent(s) have been singing since day 1, but the average is 6 1/2 to 9 months old when it is occasionally. There are families with Deaf parents and hearing kids, ASL is a native language in most of those families.

Some suggestions is to use baby signs, ASL (not SEE - sign extact english), videos with ASL (which you can find at the local library). There are websites out there that you can check into to help with using the correct signs and so forth. (I will need to go look for them and add them to the list).

ATXmommas · January 2014

This is an AW update for anyone who has been reading/following my pumping struggles. LO has been sleeping way longer this morning than he ever has before. He woke up around 4:45am to eat and has been sleeping ever since he was done. Since it has been a while and he shows no signs of waking up, I decided to go ahead and pump. And I pumped a little over 3oz!!!!!! For me, this is HUGE. It gives me hope as I plan to return to work. This may be my best moment of January in 2Mamaz' GTKY questions!

JGY · January 2014

Yay @ATXmommas! Yes, I think I may not have said this before, but when I was pumping at home while nursing, I would often get between 1/2 and 1 ounce. The minute I sent to work and started pumping instead of nursing, I would reliably get 3 oz. every time. More in the morning. Definitely take this as a confidence booster!

Jazibel · January 2014

@ATXmommas - that's awesome!! I think it's a great sign that you'll be pumping many ounces when you go back. I also want to commend you on doing a great job researching, preping, etc for being able to pump when you go back. I know how much I've learned by sharing in this journey with you. Hope it keeps getting easier.

Belovedvirgo0209 · January 2014

Hey everyone this is my first parenting check in Adasyn is almost 16 months and learning everyday, we taught her wheres the baby? She now points to my tummy and says baby

We are still having issues with her using a spoon/fork while eating and she still wakes once in the middle of the night for a drink but other than that she is doing really well.We are working with her to get her more words. She has PT and ST once a month due to developmental delays earlier.They say her walking is better however she stills needs work on weight transfer she tends to fall over instead of trying to steady herself and ST wants her to have about 12 words by now and she only has about 6 words and she is very strong willed so if she doesnt want to do something she just wont which has been a challenge trying to teach her somethings.But i do have to say we are lucky because she isnt a picky eater by any means she eats whatever you give her and we have her on a nice routine.Heather my partner has a co worker whos daughter is a month older than ours and every night she is complaining that Grace wont go to bed until 11 and they either end up putting her in their bed or taking her for a car ride so I count my lucky stars that i insisted on Addy having a bedtime routine the day she came home for the hospital and she has only spent one night in our bed and that was because she was sick and we had to keep her elevated.Other than that we are all good Have a happy week

ATXmommas · January 2014

I have so appreciated and benefitted from all the support and experience from this thread. I'm so glad we ca be there for each other when we're struggling and celebrate each others' victories!

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