Breastfeeding from Man's perspective

TheMrs820 · January 2014

https://uncgbls.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/babys-hungry/

I saw this article and really enjoyed it. Thought you'd like to see it too!

ncbelle · January 2014

Great piece! Rock on daddy

momof5sept18 · January 2014

Awesome article!

Agree with @ncbelle , Rock on daddy!!!

allrightmeow · January 2014

That was a great article. His wife should be proud of him!

pcourtade · January 2014

This is so amazing. I'm sure my husband would tell someone off if they approached me and asked me to stop. I never got any comments from others but did from my family. My mom and sister thought it was so weird that I breastfed our DS until he was one. My mom used to say "they get everything they need in the first 6 weeks, after that, it's more for the mother". Umm, no. Not true at all. I didn't say anything to them with our son but I will tell them off if they say anything with or daughter. It's my decision, stay the f out of it!

babygabe614 · January 2014

I really enjoyed reading this. As a FTM I'm honestly not sure where I stand on extended breastfeeding, attachment parenting, etc. but I do know that I plan to attempt to BF and give it my best shot, and will do whatever else works for the baby and my family. I hate the negativity nursing mothers receive for feeding their child in public. Like he said, is a cranky, hungry baby better than seeing a mother do what she was naturally intended to do? That thought process is just crazy to me.

Thanks for sharing this!

ashquack · January 2014

Great article!!! Thanks for sharing!!

ncbelle · January 2014

@Rachel5130 - you may feel differently once you have a baby who needs to eat

And the whole point of the article is that BFing shouldn't make someone uncomfortable any more than bottle feeding would - if it does, it's on them! FWIW, it's very possible to nurse discretely without a cover should that be your preference.

And I'd say for those of you not sure of your DH's support - have him read this!

rainbowdashh · January 2014

ncbelle said:
@Rachel5130 - you may feel differently once you have a baby who needs to eat And the whole point of the article is that BFing shouldn't make someone uncomfortable any more than bottle feeding would - if it does, it's on them! FWIW, it's very possible to nurse discretely without a cover should that be your preference.

And I'd say for those of you not sure of your DH's support - have him read this!

100% agree. I nurse in public. Discretely, but if a nip slip happens or my boob falls out and it makes someone uncomfortable, they were looking for too long. A screaming baby and a mother fighting to get a cover on makes it way more obvious.

I'm tired of making people comfortable. No one goes out of their way to make comfortable in public.

I really like the article and appreciate so much that my husband has never been anything but supportive of breastfeeding.

SecondTimeinMSU · January 2014

I am uncertain about this time since I want to be much more comfortable about breastfeeding when I am out and about but I feel it is taboo in my family. My mom wasn't able to breastfeed my sister and I and my SIL wasn't able to breastfeed her two children so from things they've said I don't think they have the comfort level around breastfeeding for me to do it around them. We shall see.

Damnliz · January 2014

@rachel5130- yup. Totally breastfed in front of my FIL, my dad, brother whomever! Just as mullenem said it just looks like you are holding a baby. No biggie. Although I will say it took me some time as a FTM to feel confident to nurse in public. I believe a nursing group that I belonged to at the time helped me because I saw many different moms nursing and realized most of the time you wouldn't even know it! STM I didn't have those fears and actually received lots of positive feedback from strangers in public.

shakeweights · January 2014

LOVE this article! And my favorite line: (would you eat your lunch in a public bathroom?). My office mate told me that I'm not allowed to pump at work and he thinks it's absolutely disgusting and he doesn't masturbate at work, therefore I shouldn't be allowed to pump. And I should have to do it in the bathroom....which I said was disgusting. To which he replied 'It's a disgusting thing so you should have to do it in a disgusting place.' THIS is the kind of thing that pisses me off. And yes, he's single and he claims he doesn't want a relationship or to ever get married. I think he just can't get a girl because he's a total asshat.

Sorry - that turned into a rant. Thank you for posting the article. It proves that there are some amazing men out there that actually get it and thankfully my husband is one of them!

catsinawindow · January 2014

Rachel5130 said:
@ncbelle - honestly no sarcasm included... Are you a STM? If so, did you nurse in front of your dad, FIL, grandpas, etc.? If so, what was that like? I'm assuming that by the logo, you're FROM NC? Which is "the south". So conservative, like where I live. Please, anyone feel free to chime in.

Let me make sure I'm clear. I really don't want anyone getting the wrong idea of me. A woman should not have to leave a room or sit in a bathroom or cover herself in a corner to nurse. That is preposterous and disgusting. I just have an issue with ANYTHING that is shoved in my or anyone else's face. Like I said with my aunt. Many women are like that. Because BF'ing is so controversial, it is often addressed this way. As the author mentions. You know what I mean?

@rachel5130 I'm a STM and nursed DS in front of anyone who was around (ie dad, brother, friends, etc). It honestly wasn't an issue at all.

I also NIP frequently and only used a cover twice that I can remember. Admittedly, I'm from the mid-Atlantic states so its more accepted here, but I never got anything but positive comments from people. In fact, once when DS was very new and I WAS using a cover while nursing, two older ladies asked me if I could move it so they could see the baby.

As Joules said, I'm baffled by all the accounts of women who "whip it out" or take off their whole shirt to nurse. I am in a very pro-BFing family and community and have never, ever seen anyone be "flashy" about NIP. I'm not sure whether to consider them exaggerations or that I am hanging around the wrong ( right?) type of people.

allrightmeow · January 2014

Rachel5130 said:

@ncbelle - honestly no sarcasm included... Are you a STM? If so, did you nurse in front of your dad, FIL, grandpas, etc.? If so, what was that like? I'm assuming that by the logo, you're FROM NC? Which is "the south". So conservative, like where I live. Please, anyone feel free to chime in. Let me make sure I'm clear. I really don't want anyone getting the wrong idea of me. A woman should not have to leave a room or sit in a bathroom or cover herself in a corner to nurse. That is preposterous and disgusting. I just have an issue with ANYTHING that is shoved in my or anyone else's face. Like I said with my aunt. Many women are like that. Because BF'ing is so controversial, it is often addressed this way. As the author mentions. You know what I mean?

I BF in front of whoever happened to be there when she got hungry. Most times without a cover. Sometimes with a cover depending on the cut of the shirt I was wearing and the temperature I was in. It may have gave a small few pause for a minute but things carried on like normal after a few minutes.

I think people make it worse in their minds than it really is and when they SEE it they are like "oh, is that all?" and go about their business. Ive never had anyone come up to me and say anything nasty yet. I assure you if that day comes, someone will walk away with hurt fucking feelings and it isn't going to be me.

robbinrl · January 2014

I don't remember where I first read or heard this story, but ever since I never worried about bf'ing without a cover or being worried if someone saw a little too much.

It's the story about the mother gorilla that did not know what to do for her first baby and did not nurse her. When she became pregnant again, the zoo brought in nursing moms to sit outside her enclosure and nurse throughout her pregnancy. When she gave birth, she initially reacted the same way as the first baby, but they brought back the nursing mother and she eventually started to nurse the baby. Moral of the story (for me at least): so many people have never been around nursing (especially in the US) at this point that the only way it is going to be 'normal' is that others seeing people nursing.

I can't find a great reference for that story, but here's one. @ncbelle, I think I found you

. I also found this one while searching which hits on the extended bf'ing side.

Personally, I don't "whip out" my whole breast in public, I NIP exactly how joules described and even did the mirror thing too a couple times. But I did nurse and pump pretty un-inhibited around immediate family including my dad and MIL. After I was sitting there pumping with about 10 doctors, nurses, NPs, etc. standing around talking to DH and I in the NICU, I pretty much got over the embarrassment/modesty factor (and none those people bat an eye - it is so completely normal for them)! For those who do whip it out, more power to them (although @rachel5130 it does sound like your Aunt is a little over the top!).

shakeweights · January 2014

@joules235 - no offense taken. I happen to love that episode. And the "shakeweights" come from a stupid inside joke that literally started right after that episode aired. My husband is known as 'shakeweight' to some of his bowling buddies and when we got engaged, they started referring to us as the shakeweight family. LOL!

ncbelle · January 2014

Yup - nursed in front of pretty much every one

And I am from the South (although recently moved to CT). My parents actually live in AL - so darn deep!

I'm really a pretty modest person and was a bit nervous - I think that's pretty normal - you worry that "OMG is everyone staring at me!!" But I figured out very quickly that nope, they weren't! And honestly, no one really notices unless they are staring at you (which is their problem, not yours!). I typically wear a nursing tank or a nursing bra with a regular tank and then a shirt over that - so I pull my top shirt up to nurse and really I have less exposed than many women do at the beach

I agree that the "in your face" nursing is not the norm. And I really strongly believe that NIP is important - not just because baby needs to eat - but because it's normal, and society needs to view it as such!

I've nursed for over 4 years so far and I've never got a negative comment or even what I felt was a negative look.

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