Love F14 Regulars

PeachLove25 · January 2014

I can't link because I'm on mobile... But lurking on M14 I found this post.

Guess who?

++ I screwed up royally on Feb 14 board, my bfing post is listed under their FAQ --but they do not like that I'm not a licensed LC. I did not introduce myself well and did not get permission to post before sticking my foot in my mouth --including answering questions about things that weren't about breastfeeding. I should know better! oops!

1linedrawing · January 2014

My head's totes spinning.
Oh wait, no. I don't give a shit.

)

gfam23 · January 2014

She's crazy. I honestly don't know what the hell happened with her, because a year ago she seemed helpful and normal. Now... yikes.

PeachLove25 · January 2014

She's asking permission to start a sticky on their board- since she didn't ask our permission and it didn't turn out like the Oct, Nov, Dec wonderful boards.

CarynJeanG · January 2014

klutzygrl26 said:

PeachLove25 said:

I screwed up royally on Feb 14 board, my bfing post is listed under their FAQ --but they do not like that I'm not a licensed LC. I did not introduce myself well and did not get permission to post before sticking my foot in my mouth --including answering questions about things that weren't about breastfeeding. I should know better! oops!

At least she is starting to "get" it, but this seems ridiculous to post on another board. How bizarre.

Not to mention the gbcf14 post she posted on her breast feeding post... It's just... weird.

becausemom · January 2014

What the actual fuck. Haha! :-@

PeachLove25 · January 2014

DH has a theory that it's a creepy old man with a BF fetish who reads a ton to learn/give advice.

becausemom · January 2014

AmyG* said:
I'm pretty sure creepy old men wouldn't put forth the effort.

AmyG* said:
Oh no! I posted without permission.

********
Oh.

churst23 · January 2014

PeachLove25 · January 2014

Yet once again you have time to read EVERY thread on our board?!?!

PeachLove25 · January 2014

Go link yourself elsewhere!!!! You show up on every post. It's getting seriously creepy and unnecessary.

slwprincess · January 2014

Ok, so I have avoided this topic b/c 1. I do think that some/most of her advice is pretty solid and 2. I'm all for helping folks with BF... That sh!t is hard! But yeah, I must agree that things have gotten weird. It's one thing to offer your advice on the BF board or even in your own sticky but to lurk and pop in to random non-BF related posts is just... Odd. And to complain about us to another BMB... Really?? Also, I don't care for the hardcore NO FORMULA stance. I believe that attitude does more harm than good and basically drives women away from BF entirely. FWIW, I'm happy to offer my own personal (self proclaimed non expert) experience with our own f14 mommies and heck, I'm sure I will also ask my own share along the way. So ladies, when the time comes- ask away ;-)

Unknown · January 2014

This content has been removed.

halfthetree · January 2014

I swear this is the same woman as I mentioned before. The "after" reaction is exactly the same as what happened when she was called out and cautioned against. Some of the advice she's dishing out is crazy and not accurate.

And who in their right mind has this much time to troll boards and dish out unprofessional (and often inaccurate) advice, out of her dear grandmotherly heart?

RondackHiker · January 2014

A few things:

1) I'm really big on improving BFing support for women who want to BF. It's important and I think that sadly many women don't have access to the knowledge, help, or support they need. So typically, someone who knows their shit and is happy to answer questions would be a good thing to me. But some of your responses contradict your own advice and I've seen multiple cases where it contradicts information from IBCLCs and LLL. Plus it's in such a huge block of 12 paragraphs with lots of non-related info that it's hard to wade through. That makes me doubt your ability to help.

2) I spend lots of time on the bump. I've always thought the argument, often directed to regulars, "I have a life outside of the bump, you're all creepy meanies" was silly and overdone. But you? You're all over the BFing board and every BMB from October to March. You read every thread and respond to anything slightly related to nursing (and to random other shit). You go on so long it shuts down discussion. How do you have time to do all that? You've said the bump isn't the only spot you offer advice. Why wouldn't you use that time to become an IBCLC or LLL Leader? It's creepy to spend so much time waiting for BFing questions on a board.

3) You seem ridiculously upset you don't have a sticky on this board (but you do...). Get over it. You're a stranger. You're not an offer. There's no requirement that people accept your help. It's the Internet, you came across as creepy, and now your sulky that... What? You aren't revered as the sole source of BFing knowledge? There are moms here who know their shit and can help other feb moms without being creepy.

halfthetree · January 2014

PeachLove25 said:
DH has a theory that it's a creepy old man with a BF fetish who reads a ton to learn/give advice.

I can get behind this.

cksmith29 · January 2014

This woman is nuts. I get so creeped out when I see her chime in on random posts, especially when they aren't related to BFing..... Crib sheets? Really? Please stick to your area of "expertise" if you want to establish credibility with this group.

If I need BFing help, I will NOT be seeking this crazy lady's advice. I'll seek advice from my lovelies on F14.

ZAngel · January 2014

I think if you are going to come here and claim your "expertise" and profession, you should respond to questions as such in a professional manner. It's hard to ask for advice or take the answers seriously when that person conducts themselves in a way that comes off as amateur and juvenile.

NoelMarieFrey · January 2014

Well aren't we just a bunch of non-approving, stuck up, pregnant women

FWIW, I would much rather seek advice from women who are or have been through it before on FEB 14. I

you guys

NoelMarieFrey · January 2014

Edited because my answer posted twice ! Rock on Feb 14.

Firefly9 · January 2014

AmyG* said:

I'm pretty sure creepy old men wouldn't put forth the effort.

I actually think they'd be the type who put forth the effort to try to be on all boards to get all the ladies to talk about their boobs and nursing. What else do they have going on in their lives?

RondackHiker · January 2014

Firefly9 said:

AmyG* said:

I'm pretty sure creepy old men wouldn't put forth the effort.

I actually think they'd be the type who put forth the effort to try to be on all boards to get all the ladies to talk about their boobs and nursing. What else do they have going on in their lives?

And they'd be the sort to get all offended and react in a pissy and immature manner when that help was rejected.

Kind of like the guy on the bus who says "nice tits! Can I get your number?" and then gets mad and calls you an ugly slut when you reject his "compliment".

cattuccino · January 2014

Something that has really bothered me, is her advice 99% of the time is to see a LC/IBCLC or even LLL.
Half her advice is to go elsewhere for advice.

Solid advice really.

(And seriously - we all know it takes "3-5 days for milk supply to come in" I don't think you need to re-state it in almost EVERY post. And stop blaming your iPhone for errors. It doesn't make you seem any more caring that you can't proof read a post).

Sorry. Might have had a couple of things pent up.

kella0708 · January 2014

I just have to point out that She Who Must Not Be Named started a thread where she is venting about a health and fitness sticky thread. Really? From someone who is campaigning so hard to have her shit all over every BMB? Take a seat.

BzeetyD · January 2014

I think it's creepy that anyone, anyone in the world cares that much about what a group of strangers are doing or not doing with their boobs, regardless of gender, age or "expertise." I side-eyed her enormous first post as super creepy, patronizing and supremely biased. I am NOT into it.

boogerbearoriginal · January 2014

slwprincess said:

Ok, so I have avoided this topic b/c 1. I do think that some/most of her advice is pretty solid and 2. I'm all for helping folks with BF... That sh!t is hard! But yeah, I must agree that things have gotten weird. It's one thing to offer your advice on the BF board or even in your own sticky but to lurk and pop in to random non-BF related posts is just... Odd. And to complain about us to another BMB... Really?? Also, I don't care for the hardcore NO FORMULA stance. I believe that attitude does more harm than good and basically drives women away from BF entirely. FWIW, I'm happy to offer my own personal (self proclaimed non expert) experience with our own f14 mommies and heck, I'm sure I will also ask my own share along the way. So ladies, when the time comes- ask away ;-)

Yea, initially I thought people were a little hard on her but as this has played out it's clear she's let her "expert" status give her an inflated sense of importance on TB (which is really sad in and of itself). When I had #1, she was a semi-regular on the BFing board and seemed to give some good, thoughtful advice. Now....I dunno, the whole going to every.single. BMB to have a sticky is just a prime example of her feeling like she is some BFing advice guru and we should all just be happy to have her around. Not a great way to start a relationship and it's weird.

1ofme4ofthem · January 2014

Can I take these while pregnant/breastfeeding? Just wondering....

boogerbearoriginal · January 2014

JammersC said:

Yeah, I've pretty much stayed out of all of the weirdness with her because as others have said, some of the advice is really good, but I'll admit that I'm now creeped out too. I actually thought about posting a BF-related question last night, but didn't because I'm just not comfortable with how those questions turn out ... By coming in as an "expert" she effectively shuts down the conversation with her advice and no one else feels like they can offer their take on it. I'm not really looking for her advice ... I want experiential advice from the ladies of F14. So in the end, I didn't post ... And if I had that reaction, I'm sure others have/will too, and that's really unfortunate.

I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't post a question. That's not cool.

I think it sounds like enough people aren't comfortable with her, perhaps we can unlink her BFing post from our FAQ? Maybe we need a new (non creepy) BFing support post?

RondackHiker · January 2014

It truly upsets me that some women have questions and don't feel comfortable asking them because of this.

Please ladies, ask your questions. You can nicely request in your OP that she doesn't join in... But I don't know if that will go well.

I do promise that I will ignore her long posts and answer questions I feel able to and continue the discussion so you aren't shut down with one viewpoint.

notreal2 · January 2014

1ofme4ofthem said:

Can I take these while pregnant/breastfeeding? Just wondering....

No, those are suppositories for you to give OTHER people to take.

1ofme4ofthem · January 2014

notreal2 said:

1ofme4ofthem said:

Can I take these while pregnant/breastfeeding? Just wondering....

No, those are suppositories for you to give OTHER people to take.

Well you can't exactly slip that into some cheese. Lol

slwprincess · January 2014

I also wanted to say it really bugs me that some of our newest mommies who need BF support the most (particularly the nicu moms!) may not feel confortable posting here now. This is probably the #1 topic in those first few weeks and I would hate for anyone to not get the support they need b/c of this weirdness. Seriously, ask away... I for one, promise to side step the awkwardness and answer when I can!

keags5496 · January 2014

I have to agree with @bribbon. The negativity in the post bothers me. I don't mind starting a new one with bf advice though (I'm going to need a ton of support in the next few weeks I'm sure!)

ZAngel · January 2014

I think it's good to have a sticky that allows others to openly discuss any issues they might have regarding feeding (bottle, breast, pumping, etc). However, I'm not sure our "expert" is the right person to be in charge of answering these questions. I don't mind if she chimes in or puts forth her .02.. but I really think it should be a community discussion. Feeding is one of those sensitive topics (like PPD) that not everyone feels comfortable with. However, we should make it clear that this group is open to helping and discussing any of these issues... and will be here to help. So, the sticky idea doesn't bother me. I actually think it's a very good idea. I'm just not sure we should put this particular person out there as a professional and her word is to be trusted 100%.

RondackHiker · January 2014

kirotea said:
Someone in M14 pointed out that she claims she's been giving advice for 13 years but has still never bothered to get certified.

Yeeeahhhh... at that point I'm just calling it creepy that this lady goes around online and telling women what she thinks is best. And her information may possibly be outdated. I mean, I know BFing is nothing new but I'm certainly going to seek my own doctor's help first, a local lactation consultant second (or maybe first - I've got a good local place that has rave reviews), and maybe also pose a question to my BMB.

And having been very interested in becoming an IBCLC myself, I can tell you they were really upfront (like two years in advance) that requirements were changing. They did only test certain numbers each year, but if she's been doing it this long and really did all the qualifications and was on the track, I don't really see how you could miss that the requirements were changing and you should probably sign up for the test.

I wasn't even being certified and I was well aware of it.

Firefly9 · January 2014

ZAngel said:

I think it's good to have a sticky that allows others to openly discuss any issues they might have regarding feeding (bottle, breast, pumping, etc). However, I'm not sure our "expert" is the right person to be in charge of answering these questions. I don't mind if she chimes in or puts forth her .02.. but I really think it should be a community discussion. Feeding is one of those sensitive topics (like PPD) that not everyone feels comfortable with. However, we should make it clear that this group is open to helping and discussing any of these issues... and will be here to help. So, the sticky idea doesn't bother me. I actually think it's a very good idea. I'm just not sure we should put this particular person out there as a professional and her word is to be trusted 100%.

I agree with this--open conversation about BFing and what worked for others, or what didn't, is good. However, I don't think the thread should belong to ONE person; god forbid you say something contradictory to what the person who "owns" the thread advises.

wheathergirl · January 2014

Just for clarification (sorry if this has been stated already) but is she supposedly working for/was hired by TB? Or does she just do this for fun?

PeachLove25 · January 2014

"Fun!" She creeps every board and asks for a sticky to give her high horse, NON certified, BF advice. ....but because she's SO good at that, and will even "refute your doctors suggestions," she now reads all of our posts and is an expert on crib sheets, among other topics.

I'm sticking to the creepy man with a fetish theory.

wheathergirl · January 2014

Wow. I don't get it. At first I thought she was hired by TB or something. That would be really cool. This... Not so much.

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