The circumcision decision. What to do when you both disagree?

EmbracingChange · January 2014

I left the decision up to DH because I didn't feel strongly either way. I worked with a 3 year old that was uncirc'd and it was a pain to clean the poop out of his penis when it got stuck up in there, but that wasn't enough for me to be pro-circumcision. DH wanted it done because he is circ'd and said that he would be teased by the boys in the locker room/squad bay(should he follow in DH's footsteps). I told him that they needed to stop looking at each others junk and he said "all men compare. I'll bet the cavemen did too."

Puka99 · January 2014

I ultimately left the decision up to dh. I don't have a penis (bet you didn't know that did ya'?) so I don't feel like I could decide on that. DH was not circumcised and has had no issues whatsoever. We have not cirumcised our two boys and won't with this one either. (We would not have with our last baby either, if he had been born to term.) however I do understand it's a very personal choice and want to say good luck with whatever you decide.

ahopkins0419 · January 2014

I think on a situation like this its hard for us moms to make a decision because we have no experience....im with the other ladies and go with dh...im only saying that for this topic!!!

MSUMands · January 2014

I had mixed feelings on this when I was pregnant with DS. DH voluntarily did a lot of research on the subject, as did I. After many months and many discussions, we both decided not to circumcise. I'm not going to fight anyone to the death on this decision, because I do see both sides of the issue.

If we really would have come to a place were we could not agree, I would leave it up to my husband because he's the one with the penis (although I really feel this is a 50/50 decision).

And if for some reason, we both couldn't decide, I would go with the least invasive, least permanent decision that can later be changed instead of the one that is forever.

Puka99 · January 2014

I also want to say I have seen circumcised penis' and uncircumcised and I think they both look gross. so I don't look at them. LOL

ema10 · January 2014

@LadyMacaron If I were in your position, I would probably concede to my husbands wishes. In the end someone will get their way and someone will not. Since you said he is usually go with the flow, but he's been very vocal about this issue, then you know it is extremely important to him. I'm not saying he gets his way just because he has a penis. However, men are sensitive about these issues in a way we women can't understand.

Research has shown that circumcision is better than not, though the procedure is obviously unpleasant. There are always going to be boys/men who have issues regardless of whether they have had it done or not.

I know that's probably not what you want to hear and I'm sorry you guys are having this disagreement. Best of luck to you in your decision. I'm sure your son will be happy/healthy no matter what you decide.

cristykaye · January 2014

I asked DF what he wanted to do and he said that he wanted to. He is a doctor so knows more than I do about medial things and he said it is easier to keep clean, less infections, and such. Andplusalso, I've only seen one that wasn't circumsized and I found it really odd. I know it's normal but it was odd to me.
So I let DF make the final decision on this one, that and the coming home outfit!!!

robbinrl · January 2014

Thanks to @ohyealovely @joules235 @fsumom I will definitely not be retracting or allow anyone else to retract my potential son's foreskin. I just spent the last 2 hours reading up on this and informing my pediatric NP sister who currently tells parents to pull back the foreskin to clean (she also doesn't understand why we wouldn't circ...).

My potential son thanks you!

robbinrl · January 2014

robbinrl said:

Thanks to @ohyealovely @joules235 @fsumom I will definitely not be retracting or allow anyone else to retract my potential son's foreskin. I just spent the last 2 hours reading up on this and informing my pediatric NP sister who currently tells parents to pull back the foreskin to clean (she also doesn't understand why we wouldn't circ...). My potential son thanks you!

And...

Valie18 · January 2014

jmar2011 said:

Our way of deciding may have not been conventional.
Not mean to offend anyone, our entire conversation went-
Me- DH, were you upset by being circumcised?
H- no
ME- were you scarred by it in any way?
H- no
Me- if we have a boy is it ok if we do it?
H- yeah... why wouldn't it be?
Me- ok

This was us too.
Me - Should LO be circumsized?
DH - I'm not sure. I'd like it if we could have his opinion on this.
Me - Knowing what you know now, would you go back and tell your parents to not have you circumsized?
DH - No. I think we have an answer.
Me - Works for me.

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The circumcision decision. What to do when you both disagree?

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