DH asks to get a babysitter at least every other weekend so that we can go out. I feel like this is too often and he needs to realize that now that we have a child we can't go out that often. He has always been the one in the relationship to want to go out a lot. I more often want to say home. So I'm not sure if I am thinking this way because I do not like to go out or if he should realize now that we cannot go out every weekend. What do you think? I feel like once you have kid, most weekends should be at home. Plus, I just started back to work three weeks ago. I already hate leaving DD for workdays so I don't like to do it that often on the weekend.
Re: How often do you go out?
My DH and I are hermits so we stay in as often as we can. We will pick up food, like Olive Garden, etc. and have a date night at home. But we just don't like going out.
I know when I tell my DH he "can't" or "shouldn't" do something he wants to do it even more.
I think it is important to find a balance between you and your DH. If going out is "his thing" then you can come to a compromise. Maybe one weekend he goes out with some buddies, then the next weekend you go out with him, then the next weekend you have people over. You don't have to lose your social life because of a child, if he's naturally social then you just have to work harder to fit it in.
BFP 01/05/2013. EDD 09/18/2013. Low Progesterone. Gestational Diabetes. Rh Negative. Baby Ky-Mani born 100% healthy 09/17/2013. TTC#2 12/2013. BFP 02/01/2014! "Baby RaggaMuffin" due 10/07/2014.
If you are having fun though don't limit yourself just because you feel like you're "supposed" to do things a certain way now that you are parents. As long as you have a good babysitter this can be positive for your LO too if it results in happy and relaxed parents.
I agree with @DaisyZH, if both of you are enjoying going out 2 times, 3 times, 4 times a month... by all means DO YOUR THING. There's no "right" answer. Happy momma... happy daddy... happy baby... happy house!
I was kind of the same way about wine. I was like "Okay only a glass twice per week" but I really like wine. I really like pairing it with dinner, trying new wines out, relaxing! So if I have a glass every night and it makes me happy, who should stop me???
BFP 01/05/2013. EDD 09/18/2013. Low Progesterone. Gestational Diabetes. Rh Negative. Baby Ky-Mani born 100% healthy 09/17/2013. TTC#2 12/2013. BFP 02/01/2014! "Baby RaggaMuffin" due 10/07/2014.
We do one kid-free dinner a month. Luckily, we have family close by to watch this kids. Right now, I prefer not to leave DD for more than a couple hours, mostly because I work full time.
I agree with PP that it really is what works best for you. I am more of a homebody than DH, so I encourage him to go out more than I do. So once or twice a week he will go to his brothers or friends to watch a game, etc. He always waits until the kids are down to go, then I get some much needed 'alone' time as well. It works for us.
Jamie
It's healthy to get a break and renew your romance with your SO.
DH has gone out without me a couple of times. And I've had one night out for a friends birthday, DH stayed home with LO.
I agree with pp's you find a happy medium where you both are satisfied and happy. Good luck.
I would love for us to go out more, I've really been struggling with that lately. If you two are happy and baby is happy, I say keep doing it.
We have gone out without LO a few times. DH's mom always watches LO. She watches him during the day while I'm at work, too, so I feel completely comfortable with her watching him.
To me, every other weekend does sound like a lot of going out, but I'm a homebody. And I think what works is different for every couple. Like you, I hate leaving LO while I'm at work, and I want to be around him allllll weekend. Try to compromise with your husband so that you still have quality time together, but don't feel like you are missing out on time with your baby.
We've gone out several times with her and several times by ourselves while she is at daycare. The ILs are about 5 minutes away but I'm not quite ready to leave her yet.
We both are lucky that we get quite a bit of paid vacation, so we are both taking Valentine's Day off, sending her to daycare, and we will hang out all day. We are going to get breakfast at a restaurant we've been wanting to try forever, shop, eat lunch, pick up LO, and then pick up dinner. I can't wait!
LO then (2 days) and now (1 year)