I find myself lying

asimons914 · January 2014

Lately instead of telling people yeah we will have kids eventually, I telling them "we don't want kids" it's easier to say you don't want something then to tell people you can't have something. I haven't shared my infertility with anyone yet. I tell dh to tell people too that we aren't having kids. Wish I could just be honest but not ready.

coriej4110 · January 2014

I tend to do this too. Our family and friends know we've been trying. But in the past few months I've found myself telling people we aren't ready. It's easier than saying "it's not happening". Or getting lectured on what we should be doing.

Good luck

tariust16 · January 2014

i have done the same. Lately I just say "we are working on it" with a smile. It usually ends with that. No one has inquired further...probably in fear I will mention sex lol. My dh usually says we don't want them yet. Someone actually asked my dh and I that dreaded question last night. Awkward when we responded at the same time with different answers..

FutureMrsBaldwin2012 · January 2014

I used to lie too, but I have "come out" to pretty much anybody that I come into contact with on a regular basis (friends, some family members, close work friends) because I was sick of getting asked that question. It has helped on some level because I no longer get the "when are you two going to have kids?" but now I get questions about where I am in my treatment cycle. Which is the lesser of two evils? Depends on the day and how my cycle is going. It does help having people that I can talk to but sometimes I wish that I still stuck with the lie of not wanting kids.

jencity9 · January 2014

I used to do that too, either say I didn't want to or say "oh eventually" like it is definitely not something I want now. I still do that with clients just to shut down the conversation, but with others I have finally gotten to a point where I am okay with explaining why we don't have kids yet. There is a freedom in being honest about it, but it takes time to become emotionally ready to divulge all that.

dressagetiger · January 2014

I used to come up with various excuses too but now I "come out" to most people. It shuts them up quicker. I have one close friend who I can vent to, talk about treatment with, etc. She is my saving grace when I'm sick to death of everything infertility. My husband tries and he is great but he's not woman, and overall, his personality is much more patient and laid back then mine.

dressagetiger · January 2014

@AlaskaDee23 yes is it

PENN STATE!

TeeJ526 · January 2014

I really haven't come out to anyone about my husband and I trying to have children. When asked, I normally just smile and say "One day." It's a really sensitive topic for me so no one is getting any more information out of me.

Rachaeleigh · January 2014

FutureMrsBaldwin2012 said:
I used to lie too, but I have "come out" to pretty much anybody that I come into contact with on a regular basis (friends, some family members, close work friends) because I was sick of getting asked that question. It has helped on some level because I no longer get the "when are you two going to have kids?" but now I get questions about where I am in my treatment cycle. Which is the lesser of two evils? Depends on the day and how my cycle is going. It does help having people that I can talk to but sometimes I wish that I still stuck with the lie of not wanting kids.

This is exactly where I'm at as well. I quit lying bc I just got sick of it. We all have our
Own process, though.

Drgn30 · January 2014

i pretend like we're not ready yet. but that's not working out so hot for me b/c i'm surrounded by women from an older generation who say stuff like, "30 years old and you're not ready yet?! i had an 8 year-old by the time i was your age!"

Love4Science · January 2014

I say the same thing. I teach HS, and every year I get a new class of kids and every year they ask if I have kids and when I tell then no, some idiot always asks why. So I tell them we don't want kids, which totally blows their mind because they don't understand how a teacher couldn't want kids. I just tell them it's because I deal with them all day and I like going home to a quiet house.

Luckily, people have pretty much left us alone about kids. If it comes up socially, we say no and then immediately ask if they do, or we say we have a dog. I think most people have figured out that "hey, they've been together 12 years, married over 6, and still no kids? There must be a problem."

Lillovebug79 · January 2014

***Children mentioned, not mine***I'm a NICU nurse and I get asked almost daily if I have children and if I want children. I have been pretty open with my family, friends, and coworkers. It's a hard thing for me to go through on my own and talking about it helps me. But that is definitely a personal choice. When families of my patients ask, I want to crawl into a hole and cry. It's not appropriate to tell them the truth. My time with them is about their new, scary, and life changing journey not mine. So I just suck it up and say that I don't have kids but I plan to some day (which isn't a lie, I just wish it was now)! I have been doing my job for over 12 years now and it continues to get harder to deal with those situations. Not to mention being around babies and new moms constantly. But it is the best job in the whole wide world, at least for me

hopefully we will all have our little ones sooner rather than later!!

oliv0026 · January 2014

I learned that when I say I have been trying but I havent been lucky yet, people shut up! Sometimes they come with some comment of "oh it will happen", but that is it

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