Hello,
My SO and I go back and forth back and forth about having a second child. We both work full time. Our jobs are mildly flexible. I would not stay home with a second child as I still make more than enough to easily cover daycare for two. Plus the stay at home gig is not for me. I am worried about the extra load of having another and if we can handle it.
I had bad bad bad post natal insomnia which lead to PPD, and breastfeeding issues, and then a son with health issues. My issues have been long gone since my son was 7 months (he is 2 now) but our sons health issues continue but the future looks promising. So the first year I felt I was "just surviving" and I feel like we just got a hang on things recently.
Basically, I guess I am wondering what your experience was going from one to two? I have had one person tell me if was way way harder and them another telling me if wasn't that much harder at all as your already bathing one so you bath the other, your already doing bed time story so you add another, etc.
Any thoughts or experience you have to share is appreciated
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Re: Two much harder than one kid?
I occasionally wondered the same thing and my husband definitely did, but what helped me decide is try picturing the future both ways: with one child and then with two. Can you really see yourself going one way or the other? Thinking about things this way usually tells me what I really want.
The good thing is that things keep getting easier as DD gets older.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
I agree that it is also important to look past the first few hard years to what you want your family to be, but also keep in mind how much you can balance and handle. I would love to have a third, largely to have a bigger family as they get older. DH just doesn't think he could go through another cycle of babyhood/toddlerhood again though. So for us, the choice was right for the second, but may not be right after that.
As other posters mentioned, I think that the spacing of the ages has a lot to do with the transition. I had my most recent daughter when DD1 was four, so their needs were very different. Shortly after the baby was born, my 14 year old step daughter decided to come and live with us full time. So basically, I went from 1 to 3 in a matter of a few months. That was a difficult transition, but we worked through it and now I couldn't imagine it any other way. I truly love having a large (by my standards) family and I look forward to our future with the girls.
What's your job flexibility like? Do you have a good support system? These are all important factors to consider too. We are lucky that we have somewhat flexible jobs and we have a great family that helps us out.
I totally feel you. My son is 15 months and has been in physical therapy for the past eight months. He's doing really well now, but I'm always watching his development and worrying about him. Like @SandAndsSea we both work more than full time. We also live in a really HCOL area and will probably need to send DS to private school or buy a house out in the expensive suburbs. And I had (am still having?) PPD from my life changing so much. My husband is firmly in the "one child is enough for me" category, but I waver because DS really is the joy of my life. At the very least, we'll have a 3-4 year age gap between DS and any other kid due to careers, finances and husband's current view.
Shameless plug for joining the "One And Done" board on the bump. Lots of mommas there who are happy with one and also some "on the fence." Very welcoming place to discuss these issues and other things.
My brother and I are 4yrs apart and we played together all the time growing up. And are still very close now. Granted, I was a bit of a tomboy and more interested in sports and climbing trees then tea parties and dolls.
Me too! And we also want a third...