Introduction - Ivf failure and loss mentioned

overwhelmed29 · January 2014

Good morning everyone. I am having a really hard time dealing with my emotions and I'm also looking for advice. A little about me. My name is Nicole and I'm 29. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, married for 2 1/2. After a little over a year of trying, we got pregnant via unmedicated iui. -- the first time! Unfortunately it was a blighted ovum. I carried until I was 10 weeks and then had a d&c. The loss was so terrible. You start to believe in miracles and then your heart gets broken. Well, fast forward 8 months, 6 more iuis and still not even a hint of a bfp. This month we turned to Ivf. After being so scared to see how my eggs were, my fsh is high for my age (9-10.1 range). I had 30 follicles at my baseline apt. Well, my dr had me trigger after 7 days of stimming. I believe because my estrogen was high (3300). At retrieval I was shocked to get 22 eggs. I woke up ANC my husband was smiling away. Well, only 8 of those eggs were mature. All 8 fertilized and on the day if the 3dt, I had 4 @ 8a and the others were 8b, 6a and 2@5a. We transferred an 8a that was compacting. Well it was a BFN. now I'm lost, scared and have this fear that there's something wrong with me. Is this normal? We're pushing to do a FET this cycle with 2 day 3 embryos since we were Able to freeze all 7. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated

overwhelmed29 · January 2014

Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to get it all out there!

annibes · January 2014

Welcome! I am sorry for your losses and the difficulties you have had.

pettycrocker · January 2014

Hi, sorry for your loss. I'm on the heels of what is looking like my SECOND failed IVF cycle (kicking rocks) so I know exactly how you are feeling, and apparently it doesn't suck any less the second time around either.

Good luck with you FET.

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

I get the shock of so many eggs and then dwindling down and down! We had 21 retrieved back in 2010, and only 7 made it to 5db. You can see the rest in my siggy- IVF is a long painful road, but the twins that took were an 8a and 8b- and I have no idea which one dd is, she's a 10 to me! Don't stress, you had an incredible survival rate! FET babies are our snowballs! Don't know if you ever saw this, but a neat article that helped me going into first FET:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2083040/IVF-babies-born-frozen-embryos-healthier-fresh-ones.html

"They suggested only top quality embryos survive the freezing and thawing process."

So I actually couldn't find article I originally found, but if they survive thaw, they were supposedly more likely to take given right conditions. (Try not to stress right? Yeh right)
Anyway, I wish I could just jump straight to FET, so much easier. But we are gearing up for fresh. I am only surprised they did three day with you, I always hear 5 day lately, but everyone is different w different doctors! I'm sorry for your loss, my first BFP ever was an ectopic- that pain kills a lot of Miracle believing- lots of hugs there. Sorry also for bfn, all of us on here know that pain too.

I'd be happy to offer any insight on FETs or answer any questions I know and we are all here for you!

Edit- classic Allie typos on mobile

Jen071407 · January 2014

Hi and welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss and the bfn. This IF shit just plain old sucks.

I am not saying this to be rude at all, but I noticed you didn't mention a child, so I want to let you know that all of us on SIF have a child(ren). The Infertility board is full of women with tons of knowledge on IVF - fresh and FET (I lurk a lot to "steal" their advice) who are waiting for their first take home baby. You might be more comfortable over there because we do talk about our kids often here. Again, I apologize if that sounds rude, definitely not my intent! I wish you the best of luck with your FET!

overwhelmed29 · January 2014

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. Momarazzi, I might take you up on that as I'm so clueless when it comes to FET. We're actually hoping to put in an 8a and 8b if a goes well with the thawing. I'm going to read that link now. Thank you for taking the time to share information.
Jen, I did notice that but I figured since my diagnosis was secondary IF and because I've been pregnant, people might get upset if I posted on IF. But thank you, I will also post over there. Thanks for your kind words. And yes, it truly does suck!!

Jeffreysmom24 · January 2014

Welcome! So sorry for your loss. I don't have any experience with IVF but wanted to wish you good luck!

overwhelmed29 · January 2014

Thank you!

chrissynena · January 2014

Sorry about your loss. I have had experience with a fresh cycle, but not yet a FET. That will probably be our next cycle.

freakyfast · January 2014

Sorry to hear about your loss. Welcome.

overwhelmed29 · January 2014

Thank you all for being so welcoming. Sometimes it's hard to relate to people that have no idea what you're going through.

lucky7wife · January 2014

Welcome. Your results are great. Don't lose heart.

I just had a failed IVF in December too, also with an 8a. IVF isn't an efficient process. The fact that all your mature eggs fertilized is incredible in and of itself. We had 6 mature eggs and only 4 fertilized. That means the embroyologist freaking injected a sperm into an egg and it still didn't fertilize. That just tells you there is some other unexplainable force at play. It isn't all biology.

Your egg retreival and frozen embryo numbers are awesome. You have so many chances left on ice! And FET are cheaper than fresh cycles.

Did your doc recommend implanting two next time to increase you chance for one to implant?

overwhelmed29 · January 2014

Lucky wife,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write.

I do feel so lucky to have had them all fertilize and the remaining ones freeze. He left the decision to us to transfer 1 or 2 with our ivf. I chose one just because I was scared that if i was selfish, there was a chance that I could lose two. I just met with the nurses and I start estrace on friday. My transfer will likely be 2/19 and it will be with two embryos!

I am so sorry for your failed cycle. It's so hard when you think everything went right. Do you know when your FET will be?

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