I have noticed that my 9yo SD has been more emotionally distant from me since I gave birth to my first bio child. I try to keep things even, involve and compliment her, and spend quality time with just her, but it hurts my feelings and has lead to me feeling more distant toward her as well. I feel terrible about it and am not sure what to do. She talks all night with her dad and they play games and read, while she has little interest in me. This never used to be the case. We were always close. Seeing this happen has been hard and makes me want to withdraw even more. :-(
Re: Feeling disconnected from SD since DS was born
Take some time away from the baby. Even if you are bf'ing, you can hand the baby over to your H and spend some special "big girl time" with your SD. Get manis (or go to the store and buy a $1 nail polish and paint her toes), go and get hot chocolate, go to McDonald's and let her play on the jungle gym there and while you have a coffee, or just head to the library and pick out books to read to her. Tell her how much you enjoy time with your "big girl." Don't do any baby-related chores (shopping for diapers, buying things for the baby).
Sometimes it takes a little extra effort, especially when the baby is napping and it is your chance to get a few more minutes of sleep, but please try. It will make a huge difference!