Can't believe I'm doing this

FitMamaInProgress · January 2014

I was sure that I was pg this month but I'm not... C'est la vie. I'm working through it. However, my sisters wedding (I'm the MOH) is oct 25 and it would've been perfect timing. Meaning if I do happen to get PG this upcoming cycle... I'd be due ON her wedding. She was devastated when I even mentioned the idea.

.... Looks like we are skipping TTC this month ;( can't believe I'm putting off something we have wanted and waited so long for but my family is small and close and I know I can't imagine missing her wedding either ;(

Ill work on my health the next month-- my husband and I are doing t25- so after the first 5 weeks we will start trying. Guess that's a good way to look at it.

Le sigh.... ;(

KMW08 · January 2014

Ummm...

You do realize if you woulda been ktfu this past cycle, you really only would've been due approx 2-4wks prior to the wedding, right? And if you try the next cycle (after skipping this one where the edd is the wedding date) you could still have an early delivery and still be close to the wedding. Just sayin' ...... /:)

uneek1323 · January 2014

b-(

FitMamaInProgress · January 2014

I know-- I keep looking at the calendar my Edd would be 4-5 weeks after the wedding (I have long cycles).

Ugh I'm so annoyed that I'm even thinking this way .

I wish getting and staying PG was easy and enjoyable for us all

uneek1323 · January 2014

KMW08 said:

Ummm... You do realize if you woulda been ktfu this past cycle, you really only would've been due approx 2-4wks prior to the wedding, right? And if you try the next cycle (after skipping this one where the edd is the wedding date) you could still have an early delivery and still be close to the wedding. Just sayin' ...... /:)

@KMW08 How DARE you trust that people would actually use their brains! I can't believe you set the bar so high where no one can reach your high expectations! I'm ashamed of you!

And I also love you.

:x

FitMamaInProgress · January 2014

But that's not true--- my next cycle is due to start feb 21 ... They're 37 days long... I'd be due nov 21ish or after...

FitMamaInProgress · January 2014

Actually it comes up as 12/1...

uneek1323 · January 2014

So, let me get this straight. You are in disbelief :-O that you are voluntarily putting off TTC for one cycle? ~X( You get no sympathy from me.

@snegde - I guess my nice streak is over.

FitMamaInProgress · January 2014

Oy veh. Wasn't asking for sympathy. Just venting where I'm at.

luciddreamer106 · January 2014

FitMamaInProgress said:
Oy veh. Wasn't asking for sympathy. Just venting where I'm at.

I'm not sure what you expected from your post then. If you didn't want sympathy, then why did you post? We have a daily TP thread (for venting) and crazy train thread (for cycle questions and frustrations).

You should be aware of your audience. Many ladies here are benched for many months for either medical reasons or for emotional reasons. So, seeing that you are putting off TTC for 1 month so your EDD doesn't fall during wedding time is eye-roll-inducing. We all need to vent from time to time. Maybe get a blog?

FitMamaInProgress · January 2014

Thanks. I understand I just thought it was a vent-. I HAVE been benched for months. But just started trying again. I do know the audience here and I would just delete this post and move on but I know that doesn't go over well here either. Oh well...

Have a good night ladies .

taberbtb · January 2014

FWIW- I am the MOH for my sisters wedding in September, and DH is the BM. My O date last cycle put my EDD directly on her wedding day. So we avoided. We are doing the same this cycle just to be on the safe side.

Big picture- it's two cycles out of many that we have been TTC and likely many more. Not a big deal at all. I never even bothered to mention this to my sister, it was a choice MH and I made because it is important to us to be there for her and her fiancé that day, and ultimately it is our choice to make not hers.

PinkCamino · January 2014

uneek1323 said:

So, let me get this straight. You are in disbelief :-O that you are voluntarily putting off TTC for one cycle? ~X( You get no sympathy from me.

@snegde - I guess my nice streak is over.

1 cycle. Big effing deal.

BethKate2 · January 2014

I wouldn't TTA because of the timing. Like others said, you never know what could happen with a baby coming early or late, so it's not really worth it to avoid, IMO.

That said, you're choosing to TTA, so I'm not sure why you're venting about it.

I feel like I recommend this all the time, but if you want to vent without others commenting, a blog can be a good place to do it.

Poppy715 · January 2014

FitMamaInProgress said:
Oy veh. Wasn't asking for sympathy. Just venting where I'm at.

Start a blog. This is the perfect type of post for it! Benching yourself for 2 cycles is nothing in the grand scheme of TTC, especially here. Be mad about it all you want but ultimately it's your choice. I recently made the choice to TTA because of a vacation. If I were to have gotten KU and been due around vacation time I would have been banned from traveling and wasted a lot of my MILs money. It would have been dangerous for me and LO to fly and to be away from our doctor. So we TTA just in case. It sucked but it was my grown up choice not to potentially ruin a family vacation for everyone.

There are always going to be life events that could interfere. You need to be mindful of your audience here, some have had to TTA for months on end and even years for various reasons. 1 or 2 cycles is nothing to cry about. Unless its in your blog.

Cheekers2010 · January 2014

I'm sorry this wasn't your month. And, I think you're wise to tta if you think it's best. I don't mind your vent at all. Frankly I think this is exactly the kind of frustration that is appropriate to share with other ladies that are ttcal.

PinkCamino · January 2014

FitMamaInProgress said:

Oy veh. Wasn't asking for sympathy. Just venting where I'm at.

FitMamaInProgress said:

Thanks. I understand I just thought it was a vent-. I HAVE been benched for months. But just started trying again. I do know the audience here and I would just delete this post and move on but I know that doesn't go over well here either. Oh well... Have a good night ladies .

You've been on the bench for like 3 cycles right? Some of us have been on that bench for just about a year or even longer.

Poppy715 · January 2014

wife07mom09 said:
Hard decision. Me personally I'd just keep TTC but if you feel it is best then wait one month. I understand the frustration. Don't let your sister dictate what you do but obviously I know her wedding is important to you.

I'm new here and would just ignore the silly advice to write a blog. Your post was appropriate and welcome.

Ok I'm really not trying to be contradictory or start a fight but you just said you are new. You haven't been around very long to see how we do things here. How could you possibly know what is appropriate and/or welcome in this board. It's a community, not just a forum.

Also, starting a blog is not silly adobe. It's totally legit and helpful. When you have these venting feelings all the time it's nice to get them out. I had the same frustrations when I first jointed the board after my loss last January. People suggested I start a blog as a way to share my daughters birth story. Then I realized I had more I needed to get out. It was incredibly helpful during that time. I take offense to you dating my advice was silly. Just because you don't see the benefits to journaling (which is what blogging essentially is) doesn't mean you get to demean my suggestion.

KMW08 · January 2014

FitMamaInProgress said:
Thanks. I understand I just thought it was a vent-. I HAVE been benched for months. But just started trying again. I do know the audience here and I would just delete this post and move on but I know that doesn't go over well here either. Oh well...

Have a good night ladies .

If you just wanted to vent, throat punch thread is appropriate. If you wanted advice on what to do, this thread is appropriate.

Back to my original advice & I think you have been thinking your dilemma through but just be aware of the crazy shit that can happen in later pregnancy. You CAN deliver 5-7+wks early, you CAN be placed on bed rest. Are you traveling-- airlines have pregnancy regulations/policies to consider. Etc etc. there's just as many things to think about at 7/8mos vs 9mos ktfu. Not to mention labor complications & methods too--csection also has it's physical limitations. 1 or 2 cycles tta, you're still potentially going to be VERY pg at wedding time & all the risks are still the same.

Being benched does suck, but to complain about it because it's your choice to bench yourself, that def goes in the throat punch thread. I agree a blog is a great way to vent out your frustrations. Ultimately it's up to you to do what you want. We all have to put our BGP on and suck it up & can't let others dictate our lives. You have to make a choice, that's part of being an adult.

@wife07mom09 I'm not trying to fight with you either, but benching yourself for personal reasons is VERY VERY VERY emotionally different than being benched for medical reasons.
1. Benching yourself is YOUR choice and nobody else's decision &
2. Benched for medical reasons is NOT your choice.
3. Frustration & disappointment are about the only common factors.

PinkCamino · January 2014

wife07mom09 said:

PinkCamino said:

FitMamaInProgress said:

Oy veh. Wasn't asking for sympathy. Just venting where I'm at.

FitMamaInProgress said:

Thanks. I understand I just thought it was a vent-. I HAVE been benched for months. But just started trying again. I do know the audience here and I would just delete this post and move on but I know that doesn't go over well here either. Oh well... Have a good night ladies .

You've been on the bench for like 3 cycles right? Some of us have been on that bench for just about a year or even longer.

Comparing yourself to others is not helpful at all. You have a right to how you feel no matter if you are benched 1 cycle or 100, the feelings are the same.

Actually no they are not.

I've been on TTCAL about 18 months. In those 18 months I've been benched for 15 of them to get testing, have surgery and then have more surgery and more testing. So no, when you really start comparing our situations they are completely different. 3 cycles on the bench to regulate your cycle and get your hormones in check and give your body a general break is entirely different from my situation.

As a result and because i'm not the only one in this endless cycle of testing and surgery and healing from said procedures it's pretty effing annoying to read posts like yours where you complain about voluntarily putting off trying again because of some wedding. In the last 2 months you've posted twice about having to wait. Both times you were told that 3 cycles was nothing.

svancura1 · January 2014

I'm standing in my best friend's wedding in September and she actually Told me to KEEP TTC. She knows our situation and how much we want a family. I dont think you should TTA bc you never know what could happen. Also complaining about your own decision to TTA is not the best here since there are lots who don't get that choice.

BethKate2 · January 2014

wife07mom09 said:

Hard decision. Me personally I'd just keep TTC but if you feel it is best then wait one month. I understand the frustration. Don't let your sister dictate what you do but obviously I know her wedding is important to you.

I'm new here and would just ignore the silly advice to write a blog. Your post was appropriate and welcome.

@wife07mom09, it's not silly advice. It's helpful. I've had my blog for just about a year now to vent my frustrations about TTC, and it's been especially helpful since my loss 7 months ago. I post random things over there that I don't necessarily want responses for, but want to get off my chest. It's been really helpful.

gscoville · January 2014

wife07mom09 said:

Hard decision. Me personally I'd just keep TTC but if you feel it is best then wait one month. I understand the frustration. Don't let your sister dictate what you do but obviously I know her wedding is important to you.

I'm new here and would just ignore the silly advice to write a blog. Your post was appropriate and welcome.

Um, excuse me, it's pretty rude to label someone's heartfelt and thoughtful advice about how helpful a blog can be as 'silly'. No one here is being silly, please don't attempt to diminish anyone here as such.

Poppy715 · January 2014

gscoville said:

wife07mom09 said:

Hard decision. Me personally I'd just keep TTC but if you feel it is best then wait one month. I understand the frustration. Don't let your sister dictate what you do but obviously I know her wedding is important to you.

I'm new here and would just ignore the silly advice to write a blog. Your post was appropriate and welcome.

Um, excuse me, it's pretty rude to label someone's heartfelt and thoughtful advice about how helpful a blog can be as 'silly'. No one here is being silly, please don't attempt to diminish anyone here as such.
She doesn't seem to care about how rude she is. She's not here to make friends. Just white knight and call people's advice silly. Rude doesn't even cover it.

ngolimento · January 2014

I've waited 10 years to try to TTC again. So....whatever.

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