GTKY - Are your parents divorced?

Drea926 · January 2014

Just sort of curious. The divorce rate is what now, 50%? It seems to be super common among many of my students, and I come from a divorced family too. In fact, the majority of my extended family has been divorced at least once. I'd like to think DH and I will be the ones to go the distance.

My parents have been divorced since I was 4. I don't have a lot of memory of them fighting, but I do think it affected me in terms of my hating/avoiding/redirecting conflict and also my view of romantic relationships. Since I had no model, I totally had the storybook love story idea in my head. It took me time to figure it out, but I think I nailed it when I met DH. We're romantic and lovey-dovey, but also understand that a marriage needs to have a true partnership and that it requires effort for it to be lasting.

DublinMama · January 2014

My parents separated when I was 11, then got back together a few months later. I think on my brother's and my account. Which they shouldn't have, lol. They spent the next 15 years bitterly snarky to one another and pissing and moaning to us kids about each other. In the last few years, it has cooled off a little, because I think they have come to terms with the fact that for whatever reason, neither one of them is going anywhere, so they are better off at least accepting who the other one is.

DH's parents are hatefully divorced. MIL claims FIL beat her. FIL claims MIL is a lying snake. No one knows the truth, because the kids were so little when they split. They can barely be in the same room. It's a real treat.

jenniferraborn · January 2014

My parents got married when he was 18 and she was 17. They were married for 33 years before he passed away in 2004. (wow, i can't believe it has almost been 10 years) They were the happiest married people I have ever known.

Drea926 · January 2014

Wow! Good for all these marriage rock stars! My family looks like a bunch of freaks now. :P

eddy92482 · January 2014

My parents have been together since they were 15. Married over 30 years. Same w my husband

wifeofadam · January 2014

Mine are still married. 37 years now, I think.

DH's divorced over 20 years ago but are best friends now. Neither remarried and they still act like they are married. In fact, next month they are buying our house from us and moving back in together. Nothing romantic going on at all - they just truly are best friends.

ETA - MIL is a lesbian, so that's how I'm sure nothing romantic is going on between them. Her coming out is what obviously caused the divorce. FIL, however, took his marriage vows seriously and stood by her through it all. I think he still feels married to her in ways and that's why things are so friendly. His life is a testimony of true forgiveness and love. He is such an amazing example of what it means to be a Christian.

DublinMama · January 2014

Drea926 said:

Wow! Good for all these marriage rock stars! My family looks like a bunch of freaks now. :P

lol Well then @drea926, true to form, you and I can fly our freak flags together!!

tshores90 · January 2014

My mom and dad divorced when I was 2.

My mom and step-dad divorced when I was 7.

My dad and step-mom divorced when I was 9.

My mom and step-dad #2 divorced when I was 18.

I'm 23 now.

ETA - My mom and step-dad #3 are still married.

Linds619 · January 2014

I assume mine are still "together" (we quit speaking almost three years ago). However, they should have divorced. They're horrible relationship caused a difficult upbringing for me and my siblings. It wasn't until I met DH that I came to realize how abnormal their relationship was and how it affected my family and me. I'm truly blessed to have met and married such an amazing human being.

Drea926 · January 2014

I will say this - my mom and dad were both over for Christmas to be with DS and they got along beautifully. It was quite sweet actually.

Puck1182 · January 2014

Yes. But not from each other.

They've been married to each other for I believe 35 years now? But they were both married once prior to marrying each other. My mom was married for like 3 months before it was annulled (long story short, her husband clearly did not have any intention of honoring their marriage vows). I'm not sure how long my dad was married, but it turns out his ex-wife is gay, so despite the fact that she is a super nice lady and we all stay in touch with her, that marriage clearly was not meant to be. :-P

DublinMama · January 2014

Drea926 said:

I will say this - my mom and dad were both over for Christmas to be with DS and they got along beautifully. It was quite sweet actually.

::sigh:: That must be nice. When MIL and FIL are in the same room, FIL generally acts like a d-bag. MIL doesn't go out of her way to make conversation, but even if she says something like, "Jesse, do you want some coffee?" He answers curtly or rudely. He's pretty ornery on the regular, actually lol.

Drea926 · January 2014

DublinMama said:

Drea926 said:

I will say this - my mom and dad were both over for Christmas to be with DS and they got along beautifully. It was quite sweet actually.

::sigh:: That must be nice. When MIL and FIL are in the same room, FIL generally acts like a d-bag. MIL doesn't go out of her way to make conversation, but even if she says something like, "Jesse, do you want some coffee?" He answers curtly or rudely. He's pretty ornery on the regular, actually lol.

I've heard you talk of your FIL before. He sounds like a gem. :P

DublinMama · January 2014

He will text me at like, 2 a.m. and ask how DS and I are. For real? I'll tell you how we are. We are !@#$ asleep.

Drea926 · January 2014

Oh I would be livid. If DH gets a text from his brother at like 11 I get annoyed!

ericalee27 · January 2014

Yes. I don't even know how old I was really when they divorced, I was under 1 when it happened. My mother was 17 when she got pregnant with me, quick marriage, quick divorce. She's also divorced from her second marriage.

Honestly, I'm the "freak" in my family - I had my children in my 30s and am still married 8+ yrs now.

DublinMama · January 2014

I know. We don't have a land line, so my phone can never be on silent, or even too quiet. And all last week DH worked until 1 a.m. or later, so it absolutely had to be on because of the weather he was driving home in. FIL doesn't even work an overnight job. He's just up at that ungodly hour. It takes everything I have not to text back, "FYI, your grandson is not a newborn anymore. So the days of us being up at any given hour are long gone. I don't miss them, and don't need to reminisce this way." LOL!

holly321 · January 2014

My parents are married. They got married when my dad was 28 and mom was 16. They have been married a few months shy of 30 years.

My in laws have been divorced since dh was about 4.

cinnasugar · January 2014

Married for almost 40 years. DH's too.

kleigh926 · January 2014

My parents will be happily married for 30 years this September. DH's parents are also still married, I think it's been 29 years.

tamarar5 · January 2014

My parents got married in college and are still married after 33 years. My father's parents just celebrated their 60 anniversary. My mother's parents were the only ones on her side NOT to be divorced (grandpa died 30 years ago though). My mom's family is flat out crazy.

DH's parents divorced when he was like 15, and even though they line two blocks from each other in a town of less than 300 people, in pretty sure they haven't spoken to each other since. They had a nasty divorce but only because FIL found MIL cheating and he turned into an ass. They didn't fight over money (didn't have any) or custody of the kids. MIL tried to enforce she got the girls he got the boys, but that worked for about two minutes. Again, tiny town and they live close. The kids went where they wanted. They just called each other nasty names. FIL still calls her the c word when he's talking only to me. He's nicer when his kids or grandkids are around.

DH's paternal grandfather was divorced twice, but his maternal grandparents have been married for 60-something years.

I've been divorced. My ex a-hat disappeared 3 days after we married, showed up a week later and told me he didn't want to be married any more. I spent more time waiting for my divorce to be processed than I did married.

octobermama87 · January 2014

My parents have been married for 28 yrs now and DH's parents have been married for 35-40 yrs now (not exactly sure). Both sets of each of our grandparents were never divorced either. (There were deaths, then remarriage, but no divorces).

Rynleigh · January 2014

Mine waited until I was 15 before they finally split up (the total length of their marriage from start to end was 19yrs) - they should have done it long, long before that. Staying together "for the kids" is complete and utter bull in many cases, and it just causes a whole different sort of harm than having divorced parents does. Unless your parents are very good at lying and acting and pretending that everything is OK, it just ends up giving the kids a warped perspective of what "love" is and what is and is not acceptable in a relationship with someone.

Luckily, I took the best lesson I could away from that: work at maintaining a healthy relationship, but never sacrifice the well being of your family for one horrible person. I gathered the strength to leave my first husband (abuser, druggie, asshole), and I never looked back. I'm now in a healthy relationship of 9yrs and incredibly happy. We are not legally married and we have no real interest in it. Maybe if it ever becomes cheaper to have all of us on the same insurance that way or something lol but for now, we are a happily cohabiting couple who have made it longer than a lot of marriages do

Rosebean · January 2014

My mom and dad have been married for 31 years this year. My mom did come into the marriage with my half brother, who is 10 years older than me, but my dad has raised him as his own son. She was never married to his father, but that's a commitment all on its own.

DH's parents are split and his dad remarried. His mom is un officially engaged, but she is super happy. I kind of find her funny when she refers to DH's step mom. She calls her "wife #5". Every time she calls her that, it's all I can do to bite my tongue and ask "weren't you wife number 4?"

PhieryBFly · January 2014

My parents have been married for 40 years. My grandparents (my dad's parents) just had their 76th anniversary (they're in their mid-90s). My mom's parents got divorces and remarried a long time back and my husbands parents got divorced when he was 2. Other than those two divorces, everyone else has stayed pretty much happily married.

I just had my 11th anniversary last Saturday and everything is still going strong so hopefully we'll take after my paternal grandparents!

Edited because math is hard.

jesuisfatiguee · January 2014

My parents were unhappily married for about 90% of their 19 years together (yes, they're divorced). I've never been married, though I've been engaged a couple times.

SidraJedi · January 2014

Mom and dad are divorced. I've had two step fathers. Mom is still with step father #2 who is three months older than me. Step dad #1 was actually kind of an active parent in my teen years. He is 12 years older than me.

Mom and dad were together for 7 years (married when mom was 18 and dad was 29), mom and step dad #1 for six and mom and step dad #2 are going on four years or five? I can't remember.

Dad has never remarried though he has had a couple of serious relationships. He is single now.

Mom and dad have spoken once on email in 22 years. They hate each other. Hate.

Dad's parents seperated but never divorced. Mom's parents are divorced and her father is remarried. Divorce on my side of the family is about 50/50

DH's parents just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. They eloped after "her parents seperated them" by sending MIL away to college. Divorce on his side is almost a scandal.

kelly321 · January 2014

My mom had a quick "omg he has to leave for vietnam next month!" wedding when she was 19, but he wrote from Vietnam saying he wanted a divorce, then didn't, then did, etc, and when he returned he moved back in with his mom instead of with his wife, so that was the end of that.

She and my dad have been married for almost 34 years. Strangely enough, both of my parents have 4 siblings, and all 4 of my mom's (plus her) have been divorced. None of my father's siblings have divorced (nor has he).

DH's parents have been married for I think 36ish years. I actually don't know of a single divorce on his side of the family, and he has a pretty large extended family.

shineupabove · January 2014

My parents were married for 33 years this past May, my Mum passed away a week later. My Mum was 17 and my Dad was 21. They were very happy and very much in love. My husbands parents divorced when he was 4. Both got remarried and have been happily married for (I think) over 30 years now. My husband and I are working our way to year 6. Its been great so far and it better continue that way.

Gftf7 · January 2014

My parents have been married over 40 years. DH's parents were also married over 40 years when DH's Mom passed away. DH's Dad has since remarried, so the only MIL I have, and have ever known, is technically my Step-MIL. Divorce is not common in either of our families. We are a stubborn bunch. Ha.

jbatch · January 2014

My parents and DH's parents are both still married!

TarheelMama202 · January 2014

My parents have been married for almost 34 years. They are still madly in love with each other and are best friends.

DH's parents have been married for almost as long, but their relationship is not so great. FIL is verbally abusive and controlling. MIL is a doormat. It's not fun to watch.

tdmd09 · January 2014

DH's parents have been married 38 years or so.

My parents divorced when I was 18. Dad and step-mom have been married 10 years, Mom never remarried.

babywisher · January 2014

My parents have been happily married for 38 years. Dh's parents have been married for I think 32 years. We don't have many divorce in our families. My brother and sister both happily married. Dh's sister got married just out of high school and divorced I think before they made it a year. She was immature and hated the attention I was getting with our wedding coming up. She had her wedding in July and our's was in Sept. Anyway she is remarried now.

StephPeth · January 2014

My parents will celebrate their 31st anniversary this June.

DH's parents have both passed away, they were divorced prior to passing.

We are going on 6 years together, married for 4.

His brother is 44 and never married, my 2 sisters have no intention of ever marrying, both live with SOs. There's no real pattern in our family, it is a crap shoot

happy_un-bride · January 2014

DHs parents are, and mine are not. Of my entire family the only person I know who is divorced is my brother and DHs parents

AimnJus917 · January 2014

My parents married 45 years in April

DH's parents - 37 years in May

a13049 · January 2014

Both my parents, and DH parents are still married and have 4 kids.

chimneygrl · January 2014

My parents are still married and have been for about 35 years. The both met when they were 12 at a summer camp.

Drea926 · January 2014

chimneygrl said:

My parents are still married and have been for about 35 years. The both met when they were 12 at a summer camp.

That's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever heard!

PhieryBFly · January 2014

Drea926 said:

chimneygrl said:

My parents are still married and have been for about 35 years. The both met when they were 12 at a summer camp.

That's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever heard!

That's how my husband and I met except we were 17.

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