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February 2013 Moms
tshores90
member
MIL complaint/vent/rant
tshores90
member
So I never in a million years imagined this happening..but here we are after the fact. We were visiting family with my MIL and FIL at my SIL's house..got it? Anyway, I am known as the weirdy, semi-crunchy mom in the family and my MIL knows where I stand on many issues related to raising my children. This includes everything from what they eat to medication/vaccinations even to labor and delivery choices I make - she seems pretty familiar with what I would be for or against.
Saying that, one morning while I was still asleep, my 2yo son (DS) and my husband were up with my MIL. DS had a slight cough (I would say due to us going from coastal 70-degree weather to midwest 16-degree weather) this particular morning, and my MIL decided it was cool to give him a dose of cough suppressant - which I would NEVER do. Then, when I do get up, she proceeds to approach me and say, "[insert name of my son] had a bit of a cough this morning so I asked [insert name of my husband] and he said it'd be ok to give him some cough medicine (Let me note here that I have a background of some medical training and am VERY well informed as to the decisions I make regarding my children - my husband not so much - that's why he let's me make those decisions). I was afraid he might be catching something, and we didn't want to wake you up and ask."
Ok, I understand her trying to look out for my well-being and let me get some rest..but the issue is SHE KNEW I would NEVER give an otc cough medicine to DS, especially if he had no other symptoms and no fever. What's worse is throughout the day she kept saying, "see how he hasn't coughed at all?" Like I was supposed to be thankful for the chemical concoction she had my DS ingest without my permission. What's worse is that I had just had the "I-don't-use-cough-suppressants-and-here's-why" conversation with my SIL who was there and took part in the decision-making that occurred when my MIL gave DS the meds. Ugh, frustrating.
MIL has always done crap like that. When DS was less than a year old we were visiting her house for the weekend and he had a cold. She kept pressing and I kept refusing cold medicine - to be specific she kept offering a dose of children's sudafed which is only for children 4 and up. At the end of the weekend, she had stashed away the bottle of cold medicine in my diaper bag telling me to take it just in case. Guess what's still chilling in the junk drawer..yep..that medicine. Saying that to make the point she knows full well where I stand on cough/cold medicine for my littles.
PLEASE NOTE: I understand otc meds have a time and place and reason, so don't get me wrong.
However, if I know my child doesn't absolutely need it, or if I have a natural remedy I feel more comfortable with, then I will choose to make an informed decision and not use otc meds. Just my way of doing things. And I think as the parent, my decisions should be respected by those I allow to care for my child.
Ok, I'm done.
Saying that, one morning while I was still asleep, my 2yo son (DS) and my husband were up with my MIL. DS had a slight cough (I would say due to us going from coastal 70-degree weather to midwest 16-degree weather) this particular morning, and my MIL decided it was cool to give him a dose of cough suppressant - which I would NEVER do. Then, when I do get up, she proceeds to approach me and say, "[insert name of my son] had a bit of a cough this morning so I asked [insert name of my husband] and he said it'd be ok to give him some cough medicine (Let me note here that I have a background of some medical training and am VERY well informed as to the decisions I make regarding my children - my husband not so much - that's why he let's me make those decisions). I was afraid he might be catching something, and we didn't want to wake you up and ask."
Ok, I understand her trying to look out for my well-being and let me get some rest..but the issue is SHE KNEW I would NEVER give an otc cough medicine to DS, especially if he had no other symptoms and no fever. What's worse is throughout the day she kept saying, "see how he hasn't coughed at all?" Like I was supposed to be thankful for the chemical concoction she had my DS ingest without my permission. What's worse is that I had just had the "I-don't-use-cough-suppressants-and-here's-why" conversation with my SIL who was there and took part in the decision-making that occurred when my MIL gave DS the meds. Ugh, frustrating.
MIL has always done crap like that. When DS was less than a year old we were visiting her house for the weekend and he had a cold. She kept pressing and I kept refusing cold medicine - to be specific she kept offering a dose of children's sudafed which is only for children 4 and up. At the end of the weekend, she had stashed away the bottle of cold medicine in my diaper bag telling me to take it just in case. Guess what's still chilling in the junk drawer..yep..that medicine. Saying that to make the point she knows full well where I stand on cough/cold medicine for my littles.
PLEASE NOTE: I understand otc meds have a time and place and reason, so don't get me wrong.
However, if I know my child doesn't absolutely need it, or if I have a natural remedy I feel more comfortable with, then I will choose to make an informed decision and not use otc meds. Just my way of doing things. And I think as the parent, my decisions should be respected by those I allow to care for my child.
Ok, I'm done.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL complaint/vent/rant
It seems to me she only asked him knowing he wouldn't really know..just someone to blame it on to make me not so mad at her I think..and I think that's why she was intentional in mentioning that she asked him first.
Figuring all that, I didn't get mad at him but did discuss that I'm against that ever happening again just so he knows for the future.
I will say he does an excellent job of defending my choices when I tell him about something like that that's bothered me - he doesn't let it happen twice.
I had the flu (pretty certain but never doctor confirmed) a few months back and I had just found out I was pregnant. I never have had the flu or a flu shot, but anyway.
I was on the phone with MIL and she told me the exact same thing had happened to her when she was pregnant with my DH. She said, "You need to go to the doctor and have it checked out." To which I replied, "I'm sure I'll be fine, plus I doubt there's much they can give me with it being a virus and me being pregnant. It just needs to run its course." Then she answered, "Well, I know it's a virus but you'll be miserable if you don't get something. I went and begged my doctor for cough medicine while I was pregnant with [insert my husband's name], and at first he refused but finally gave in"...then she jokingly says..."maybe that's what is wrong with him!" **I courtesy chuckled**
Seriously?!
I have a Daughter born 2/26/2013. She is pretty much amazing!
He answered her with an "I don't know" and told me later he had suggested waiting till I was awake. When he was away from the kitchen, she gave our son the meds with my SIL looking on. That's why I was so frustrated with MIL and SIL because both knew what I would have done and MIL moved on without either my or DHs consent. I don't really see DH being at fault here, but whatever.