Another Baby

pupluv0410 · January 2014

I am trying to decide whether or not to have a second child. I want my DS to have a sibling and I think I want to have another baby...but I just love my DS so much that I dont know how I could love another as much. And I am worried that another baby could take away from my DS. But if I have another baby, I dont want them to be too far apart in age.Anyone else feel like this? Anyone have these thoughts and had another baby? Any advice to help ease my mind? Thank you so much!

AKB090609 · January 2014

What does your SO think?

KellersPrag · January 2014

No personal experience, but I know that it is very common for women pregnant with their 2nd (and so on) to experience those feelings. They find that their heart grows and they can love their second, third, etc. just as much as their first.

Hope this helps!

PenelopePond · January 2014

In the OR, waiting for my csection, I told DH there was no way I would love DS2 because I loved DS1 so much. I had been saying it my entire pregnancy, and even minutes before I met him (DS2). I regret it every day. I look at my awesome second child and kick myself for ever worrying. I don't love DS1 any less. My heart found room for more love.

As far as a sibling for DS1, it's really the best thing we could have ever given him. They are best friends and inseparable. The love each other so much. They play and have so much fun with each other. DS1 is an amazing big brother and teaches DS2 so much. It's awesome.

BeebopandBuddy · January 2014

I never questioned that I would love the second as much as the first because people do it all the time. I love both of mine, for a few differences between them and a lot of similarities. If your only hesitation is loving a second, I am very confident in assuring you that it won't be a problem.

jhasselt · January 2014

PenelopePond said:

In the OR, waiting for my csection, I told DH there was no way I would love DS2 because I loved DS1 so much. I had been saying it my entire pregnancy, and even minutes before I met him (DS2). I regret it every day. I look at my awesome second child and kick myself for ever worrying. I don't love DS1 any less. My heart found room for more love. As far as a sibling for DS1, it's really the best thing we could have ever given him. They are best friends and inseparable. The love each other so much. They play and have so much fun with each other. DS1 is an amazing big brother and teaches DS2 so much. It's awesome.

I agree with PP. I felt the same way that I couldn't love a second, but your love grows and changes for another child (or even two or three more). I know I don't have as much time with each child, but then there are times where I just sit and watch them interact with each other and think "they needed each other more than they needed just me." They get double-y loved now, b/c I love them and so do their siblings. Best gift ever! GL with your decision!

PortermansWifey · January 2014

PenelopePond said:
In the OR, waiting for my csection, I told DH there was no way I would love DS2 because I loved DS1 so much. I had been saying it my entire pregnancy, and even minutes before I met him (DS2). I regret it every day. I look at my awesome second child and kick myself for ever worrying. I don't love DS1 any less. My heart found room for more love.

As far as a sibling for DS1, it's really the best thing we could have ever given him. They are best friends and inseparable. The love each other so much. They play and have so much fun with each other. DS1 is an amazing big brother and teaches DS2 so much. It's awesome.

You have no idea how bad I needed to read this! This has been a huge concern for me and has literally kept me awake at night thinking about it.

misscheapandchic · January 2014

I hate to say it but this is the one thing really holding me back from wanting another. DS is just so easy and has such a great personality I'm scared it won't love 2.0 as much...

LyndseylovesHugh · January 2014

I worry about this too, even though logically I know I will love this baby just as much. I think it is a very common concern. For us, we knew we wanted Audrey to have a sibling and we knew we wanted them close in age and that desire outweighed any fear I had.

I also worry that Audrey will be mad that I love another child, like she will think I love her less. I'm an only child so I think that has something to do with it for me, but my H assured me that having siblings is wonderful and Audrey is going to love being a big sister.

pupluv0410 · January 2014

misscheapandchic said:
I hate to say it but this is the one thing really holding me back from wanting another. DS is just so easy and has such a great personality I'm scared it won't love 2.0 as much...

Thats another thing...DS was such an easy baby, I am afraid the next one will be the opposite. Thank you guys for responding. I really do think he needs a sibling, and the thought that they would grow to love and need each other just brings tears to my eyes.

And in response to the first post, my husband is unsure but leaning towards yes.

hmp1 · January 2014

I knew I wanted to give DS1 a sibling close in age so we started ttc right before he turned one. The first month that I took a pregnancy test, I was seriously about to cry because I freaked out about DS not being my baby any more. It was negative. The next time I took a test, I was so excited about the thought of bringing another child into our family. The love that DS1 would have for his little brother or sister was overwhelming to me. That test was positive.

I love how much my kids love each other. It makes my love for them even more than I thought possible.

And when it came down to toddler vs baby, a lot of days I liked the baby better. Toddlers can be evil.

bosha711 · January 2014

I felt the same way.

Having a second does take time & attention away from the first, but it is made up for in so many other ways.

I didn't bond with DD immediately during pregnancy like I did with DS, but now I love her just the same & as they say, you can't remember what life was like without her.

jenndub · January 2014

I felt that way when I only had one. During my pregnancy with DS I was so sad that he was going to intrude on my time with DD1. The second that kid was born I loved him so much. I adore all 3 of my kids and am so excited to be pregnant again! My kids love each other more than anything in the world, they are all buds. I have no regrets about having more kids and I know that my first is happy to have some company. It helps spread out the crazy, pretty sure I would be smothering her if I didn't have other children to love.

Bluebird2318 · January 2014

It's a natural fear, I think. It's hard to realize how much you will love your child (whether it's your first, second, or more) before you are pregnant, or before they are finally here. I loved DD before she was born, but somehow I loved her even more after. I think having a second will be a lot like that. In my case it's not so much that I am afraid I won't love him like I love DD, but I do worry that I will compare the two of them (DD was and is a tremendously easygoing baby--it defies reason!).

jocymama · January 2014

I agree with @PenelopePond your love just grows. I was also afraid when pregnant with C but I can assure you, you will love #2 (and 3 and 4 or however many you have) just as much as the first.

Also watching the girls together is awesome, like heart melting awesome

L8kissie · January 2014

I felt like this and we went back and forth over having a second. We decided to and I felt guilty a lot during the pregnancy. Ds has had a bit of trouble sharing attention, but when offered time with just us, he wants dd to come too. He adores her and wants her around always. I think it was a good choice for our family and I'm glad we made it. I was terrified that I'd regret having her once she arrived. I have never felt that way. I'm happy with our family.

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