Nanny...

Snugly Ael · January 2014

I've hired a nanny and today was her first day. She's 22 years old and seemed quite friendly. However, I feel she was having a hard time taking care of the twins, might be because it's her first day? My babies cried a lot today when they were with her and it took her forever to put them for their nap and bedtime. My twins are used to being held until they're half asleep, and we've tried making them sleep on their own, but in vain. They take forever to fall asleep on their own and by that time my hubby and I are exhausted. My twins are 5 months old.

I wanted to know -
1. If you help the nanny with the twins or do you let her do her job.
2. Do you take naps while she's taking care of the twins?
3. Do you interfere when she's taking care of the twins?
4. Is it okay to give her instructions?
5. Do you let your nanny take care of the twins by herself, while you're running errands or cooking or showering etc?
6. After how many days did you leave your nanny alone with the twins?

I have another nanny coming tomorrow. She's older and I guess is more experienced. If I like her, I plan to keep her for both the days. However, I need advises from you experienced moms as to how you've managed with nanny and your work.

legaleagles · January 2014

I don't have a nanny yet, but my plan is to go back to work (out of the home) 3 or 4 days a week depending on what they allow me. We will have a nanny for my twins and she'll be home with them all day from 9-5:30ish 3 or 4 days/week. Twins or singletons that seems to be the norm around here. I am hoping that the last 3-4 weeks of my maternity leave (6 months) that we'll have someone hired and they'll come to help out and get used to the household and the babies' schedule.

LittleLady77 · January 2014

Great question, I would love to hear the answers too.

LegallyBlonde217 · January 2014

I'm a SAHM, but we have a nanny 2 days a week so I can have some me time.

1. If you help the nanny with the twins or do you let her do her job. I usually just let her do her thing with them. I kind of pretend like I'm not there. I do help, though, if she needs it, but those moments are rare. When they were still on bottles, I often helped with feedings.

2. Do you take naps while she's taking care of the twins? Absolutely!!!! I nap every day that she's here and I don't have plans outside of the house. I get the best sleep then because I'm not on heightened alert for noises coming through the monitor.

3. Do you interfere when she's taking care of the twins? Sometimes I'm in the room participating in their play time with her. I don't make it a point to stay away or anything.

4. Is it okay to give her instructions? It is important that you give her instructions on how you want her to take care of your children. Everyone has a different style of parenting. Make sure she knows yours so she can do things the same way you would.

5. Do you let your nanny take care of the twins by herself, while you're running errands or cooking or showering etc? Of course! That's why she's here - so I can shower, run errands, nap, etc.

6. After how many days did you leave your nanny alone with the twins? I didn't leave the house while she was here for about a month. I wanted to make sure she was comfortable with both of them before I left her alone. She's been with us for a year now and I leave all the time.

Snugly Ael · January 2014

How old were your twins when you first hired a nanny? Did they cry a lot on the first day? I'm trying my best to have one nanny, but the hiring consultancy I'm going through is finding it hard to find a nanny who'd be available on the days I need one. I seriously need some rest when my nanny's here, but yesterday I couldn't even do a thing because the twins kept crying continuously. I noticed that when she plays with them and they seemed to get bored or start to whine she doesn't hold them. Do all nanny's do this? I'm very new with this nanny thing and I want to know as much as possible from you experienced mommies. Please tell me more LegallyBlonde217. I'm all ears for anything and everything you gotta say.

AmandaG47 · January 2014

::de-lurking::

I am a second time nanny of twins currently and am also expecting my own set of twins any day now. I usually just lurk on this board but I thought I would try and help ☺

Different nannies can have very different styles with children. My background is in a pre-school (Montessori) and I find nannies with a similar background to me are more similar in style. That said, it's important to talk to your nanny about your own style and make sure you are mostly pretty similar. That way you can add more details in how you want things done if needed but you won't come off as micromanaging. It sounds like you could use some more communication between the two of you to see if she is a good fit.

I would not take the first day experience to make any big decisions if it were me, as even some really great nannies (and babies) might need time to adjust. It might be more helpful to you to spend the first few times with the nanny(s) there together and in a very relaxed manner, cover all the points about your kids' care taking that is important to you (and this allows you to get to know them better and feel more comfortable leaving your babies with them)

As a nanny, now that I've been with my family for awhile I really appreciate that they allow me some space when dealing with the kids how I see fit, even if its a little different from how they do things. Also, we had pretty frequent check-ins in the beginning to make sure we were always on the same page (the check-ins were at my request)

I hope at least any of this helps!

BabyCarryingVessel · January 2014

My nanny started when the girls were 3 months old, which is when I went back to work. Now she has been with them for more than a year and their relationship is really special. By the way, my girls are 16 months old now. Here's what I told our nanny after we hired her... "I trust you. I want you to treat these children as your own. I know you'll do things slightly different from me and that's okay." Of course I told her about how I wanted the big things to be done, i.e., schedules, feedings, etc. Sure the first month was hard for her, but soon she got to know them and they "figured eachother out". Sometimes I think she knows them better than I do!

My advice is, if you really trust your nanny, let her know that you trust her and be willing to let go of some control. You'll know when it's time to step in for the big things. Your style and her style will be different, but just keep telling yourself that it's okay. For instance, my nanny is more strict than I am. She asks them to help pick up toys after they're done playing, and that's something I don't expect them to do at this age. But guess what?? My girls will pick up their toys when I ask them! And it's all because of our wonderful nanny.

I think your children will benefit greatly if you just let your nanny do her job. Your nanny will be frustrated in the beginning, but it's a good thing! Give her guidance and make clear your expectations about the big things.

To answer your questions...

1. If you help the nanny with the twins or do you let her do her job? I don't help. I'm paying her good money
2. Do you take naps while she's taking care of the twins? I have before, yes.
3. Do you interfere when she's taking care of the twins? Nope.
4. Is it okay to give her instructions? Sure! But I don't micromanage on small things that ultimately don't matter.
5. Do you let your nanny take care of the twins by herself, while you're running errands or cooking or showering etc? All the time!
6. After how many days did you leave your nanny alone with the twins? The nanny spent two full days with us before I returned to work.

ballygirl · January 2014

My nanny helped out as a mothers helper for a few weeks before I left her alone w them. When I'm home with her, I often nap but get up of I hear both girls crying. When both girls are awake I'll often take one and spend some alone time with her and then switch later. I also do things like baths since I like to have someone else there to look after the other one while I do a bath. If both girls are happy and playing I use that time to get stuff around the house done.

LegallyBlonde217 · January 2014

Snugly Ael said:

How old were your twins when you first hired a nanny? Did they cry a lot on the first day? I'm trying my best to have one nanny, but the hiring consultancy I'm going through is finding it hard to find a nanny who'd be available on the days I need one. I seriously need some rest when my nanny's here, but yesterday I couldn't even do a thing because the twins kept crying continuously. I noticed that when she plays with them and they seemed to get bored or start to whine she doesn't hold them. Do all nanny's do this? I'm very new with this nanny thing and I want to know as much as possible from you experienced mommies. Please tell me more LegallyBlonde217. I'm all ears for anything and everything you gotta say.

Sorry, I just got back to this thread now. Our nanny started when my twins were 5 months. They didn't cry too much the first day because I was there with them. By the time I left her alone with them 6 weeks later, they were comfortable with her. She definitely holds them if they're whiny. When they were little, she would put one in a Rock n Play and hold the other. Don't be afraid to tell her how you want her to do things. Tell her to hold them if they're whiny, switch up the playing if they get bored, etc. I know it's hard telling someone what to do in your home, but it has to be done. You're paying her to do things your way. If she can't do that then you might need to find a new nanny. I know you're using a nanny service, but have you checked care.com? I only needed someone 2 days a week so it was hard to find someone who wanted to work that little. I found a girl who is in college and only has classes 2 days a week, which worked out well for both of us.

Also, you might need to just leave her alone with your twins and not come rescue her when they're crying. She'll need to get used to taking care of them at the same time. That takes a few days. I don't mean leave the house, but go in your bedroom and don't come out unless she calls for you. Good luck! Let me know if you have any other questions. If you type the @ followed by my full screen name, I will get a notification that you tagged me in a post. Like this: @Snugly Ael - except it won't work with your name because of the space in the middle.

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