Do you know the date of your baby shower?

manna1212 · January 2014

Do any of you know the date of your baby shower? My sister and family want mine to be a surprise. I may be a bit irrational, but for some reason it is really aggravating to me. I don't see the problem in telling me the date and making everything else a surprise. Am I overreacting??

alphalyrae · January 2014

My Aunt and Grandmother are doing the same thing. It's incredibly frustrating because there are things that need to be planned like ped interviews, etc. Every time I need to schedule something, I call and tell them that I'm scheduling X and they need to tell me if it's okay because I'm not cancelling pediatrician interviews or other important pregnancy related things.

MrsT2008 · January 2014

I knew everything about my baby shower with DD. I wanted it that way and my mom and MIL were happy to oblige.

kristine526 · January 2014

One of mine has been decided on and it will be March 8th. A little early, but it's being thrown by my BFF, and she's due three weeks before me, so early it is!

As for the others, I don't think it's been decided, but everyone knows how much I hate surprises, and that I don't really feel like peeing my pants in front of a big group of people. I like to know.

chennel86 · January 2014

I know the date of mine. It's a nice thought to have it be a surprise, but when you have weekend plans or even last minute plans I don't think it's the best idea.

PaulnLece · January 2014

I told my sister to surprise me but she said it was impossible......so I know my date:)

EmilyGolden1 · January 2014

I hate surprises!! If you are like me, I want to plan when it is, what I will wear, who is invited etc... It's nice they are throwing the shower but don't give a hormonal mom to be something else to stress about!

lavendergiraffes · January 2014

It could still be (kind of a surprise). You could know the date and nothing else? It would drive me nuts not knowing when they are!!

Jillzy86 · January 2014

I never knew surprise showers were something people did. I know my shower date, but maybe because I'm the one out of town.

AnnieA75 · January 2014

I absolutely love surprises, but I would despise a surprise shower. Like PPs said, I'd want to look my best and know when and where to be.

ErikaLynn75 · January 2014

I definitely want to know the date. My shower will be 6 hours away in my hometown, but even if I was nearby, I would want to know the date. What if you plan something for that day?

My mom has also asked for my opinion on most of the details. We've talked about co-ed vs. just girls, but menu, cupcake flavors, pretty much everything so far. But most of those conversations went like this: Mom: "I was thinking of [doing this]" Me: "Sounds good to me!"

The only real input I gave was on one cupcake flavor because turtle cupcakes sounded amazing at the time.

stiches221 · January 2014

I asked my SIL to schedule mine for feb 22 cause my bday is the 21st and I already had family tell me they were coming to visit me on the 22nd so I figured I'd schedule it then so they could come too. Yes it's kinda early (I'll be 29w4d) but that way I won't be a whale and have to stop the party to rest and put my feet up like a couple of my friends did during their showers. And that'll give us more time to get everything else we need before baby girl shows up. My mother also had a history of having her babies early and had to be on bedrest from about 7mths on so I wouldn't be early too. So just incase I have any problems like that it'll already be out of the way early.

spacepotatoes · January 2014

ErBear1010 said:

I despise..DESPISE surprise showers. My first baby shower 8 years ago was a surprise and it was awful. I was in yoga pants, a cami, no make up...I looked hideous. There are no pictures. I also hate surprises. My wedding shower was supposed to be a surprise and I figured it out and went complete bridezilla on my mom because she knew I hated surprise parties and "didn't care". SO this one will not be a surprise. I see no issue in knowing the date-if not so you know when to dress up and when to wear sweats

Two of my bridesmaids tried to trick me into showing up for my bridal shower looking like a slob. They told me we were having a "DIY spa day" at one of their houses. They're really good secret keepers so I never suspected a thing. I didn't end up looking as sloppy as they'd hoped but I still wish I'd been prepared since everyone else around me was appropriately dressed.

ETA: to answer OP's question, I do know the date of one of them. There may be a 2nd one for my in-law's side of the family but I haven't heard anything about that yet.

talkthewholetime · January 2014

My sister hates surprises, ergo, I never get to be surprised

It's 4/12

getitdone · January 2014

Yep I know the dates of 2 of mine. Work did a surprise shower for my wedding so not sure if they will do anything for the baby but if they do I hope it is a surprise

deanna1313 · January 2014

Mine is either the first Saturday in April or the second depending on my Mom and my Aunt's schedules.

My bridal shower was a surprise and my stepfather spilled the beans on the date before hand. I was still so nervous walking into everyone saying surprise so I am going to be there first this time. I don't care and my Mom is cool with it. Everything else will still be a surprise.

mileswithmyles · January 2014

I know the dates of mine. I hate surprises. Plus, I want to make sure I actually put myself together those days so that I look cute.

I feel your pain. I would want to know.

Unknown · January 2014

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Motiejmr · January 2014

Surprise shower? That is interesting, you are having a baby.. Sooo it's not like there is much of a surprise to getting a shower. I would go crazy as well.

lanigillett · January 2014

I know the date and helped my mom with a few things, she not the most computer savvy gal out there.

whitneymarie003 · January 2014

My friends were going to throw a surprise shower but I asked for it not to be a surprise, agreeing with reasons listed by others above. I know the dates of the 2 I'm having, March 15th & March 29th. I don't think there's any harm in knowing the dates, you should be able to be prepared for it!

SurprisePartySue · January 2014

Oh I would HATE a surprise shower. I never look presentable unless I have to. So it would be an epic fail. I only know of one and it's for 3/30.

AugustGlass · January 2014

I know when mine are. I don't like surprises so a surprise shower is not up my alley. The only people I've known to have them, it was like a work shower so that's a little different since you're (probably) dressed decent at the office.

usernewname · January 2014

Mine's 3/16. I hate surprises as I am such a planner. Being team green is all I can handle for surprises in my lifetime :P

LunaBug924 · January 2014

I know the date of mine, and I definitely wanted to know. What I didn't want was to have every decision go through me like I'm the one planning. My mother and MIL are co-hosting, which is great. But they are so afraid of stepping on each other's toes that they have been asking my opinion on every. Single. Detail. Don't get me wrong, I am soooo grateful, but it would have been nice to leave a little mystery. Oh well. It will be lovely, I'm sure.

jfletcher3113 · January 2014

Oh, I wouldn't like that at all. I like surprises if they're true surprises but I hate when someone tells me they want to "plan a surprise" for me. That makes it not really a surprise because I know something is happening and then I sit there wondering when it is, what it is, where it is, etc. That's no fun for me.

Although the sentiment is nice, I don't think you're being irrational at all! They should at least tell you the date.

jjh471 · January 2014

We have to have two showers (DH's family lives over an hour away and many of them did not want to drive up, I don't blame them) so we needed to pick dates for both so there was no confusion. They are a week a part at the end of March.

I honestly didn't want to be surprised and both are Jack and Jill. DH works a rotating schedule, so he needed to take both days off of work anyway.

babyaotw · January 2014

I would have SO much anxiety if I was waiting around for a surprise shower, knowing it could happen at any moment! Yikes! I'm having two showers...I'm flying back home for one Feb 22, and having one with my local friends March 29th.

MunchkinMoon · January 2014

Ugh, I would hate that. Like PPs have said- you want to look presentable and be ready (no plans, deadlines, etc). Can you talk to them?

I most definitely know mine because I had to buy a plane ticket in order to attend it in March. No surprise there!

RedInLove · January 2014

libbylu7 said:

It could still be (kind of a surprise). You could know the date and nothing else? It would drive me nuts not knowing when they are!!

Like @libbylu7 said, it's one thing to know the date, but the rest could be a surprise - theme or colors, even the location if they want to pick you up and bring you there. I know my sisters are very involved in mine, and they already said they will be telling me the date because a surprise wasn't very feasible. I told them I had no problems with them keeping any amount of the details a surprise if they want to, but it's totally up to them.

manna1212 · January 2014

Thank you! I feel better about my reaction. I was pretty straight forward about how I am feeling about this, but it doesn't seem to be making a difference. I had a hormonal moment in from of DH today and got upset about it. I have a feeling he will be calling my sister about it....

Lauren1102 · January 2014

I know my dates, April 5th with my side and April 13th with his side. I need to know dates bc I work Saturdays from time to time.

Miggg · January 2014

I would never want a surprise shower and hadn't even heard of them before TB. I know the dates of two of mine and the others are TBD, probably end of march.

Cupcakes89 · January 2014

I'm having one extremely small shower sometime in April. Due to lack of family and friends in driving distance. I'm also helping plan it cause my mom is lost when it comes to planning baby showers and what not. I usualy hate surprises also! Luckily this low key one won't be too crazy lol

dogsombrero · January 2014

My Midwest shower is 2/22 at 29 weeks when my friend had space at the restaurant she manages. My East Coast shower (in my hometown with my huge family) is 3/1 at 30 weeks I didn't want to fly too late.

lrmrtn · January 2014

I hate surprises and knew my mom would throw one for me anyway. Plus she needs a guest list from me and I sometimes work on the weekends so she has to know my schedule.

tbiscuit18 · January 2014

I know the dates of mine. Especially since my sister is hosting one of them at my house, which is great for me! No need to haul gifts anywhere but upstairs to the nursery! Plus, DH already offered to be on clean up duty with my sister and mom.

pandadair · January 2014

ErikaLynn75 said:

I definitely want to know the date. My shower will be 6 hours away in my hometown, but even if I was nearby, I would want to know the date. What if you plan something for that day?

My mom has also asked for my opinion on most of the details. We've talked about co-ed vs. just girls, but menu, cupcake flavors, pretty much everything so far. But most of those conversations went like this: Mom: "I was thinking of [doing this]" Me: "Sounds good to me!" The only real input I gave was on one cupcake flavor because turtle cupcakes sounded amazing at the time.

Same here! Our last convo went: Mom: "What do you think of having a gelato bar?" Me: "You are a ridiculous bitch and I love it."

Also, I definitely know the date. March 8. They can't surprise us, though, because we have to come in from out-of-town. I'd hate the idea of a surprise shower, though. You're definitely not overreacting.

laurblum · January 2014

I don't see a problem in knowing the date. It's not like you don't know you're getting a shower at some point. I don't like surprise showers for reasons already mentioned by others. I want to look cute!! Now more than ever since I feel like a cow. Anyway, my mother and I talked a couple months ago and figured out a date in March. I know it's way early, but I wanted to try and have it by the time I was 30 weeks. That way if I still needed to shop or set anything up I would still have the energy. Or in the unlikely event that I go early, I would at least have the basics.

hfooter · January 2014

I wouldn't be up for a surprise shower and my mom knows that (she is throwing my shower). The date of my shower is March 23rd and I am due May 19th.

ThereBeDragons · January 2014

Yeah, not big on the surprise date- but I'd be fine with letting the hosts arrange everything else without my input. I just want to have the experience of a baby shower since this will be our only baby. I have absolutely zero preferences when it comes to the who when and where.

I think DH just threw my mom, SIL, cousin-in-law, and best friend at each other via email like a steak towards a pack of angry wolves and told them to sort it out. I'm honestly a little terrified since that email went out yesterday and today I've already had to soothe ruffled feathers from some minor dust up between mom and SIL. I just hope they can get something sorted out without bloodshed.

Get people together, slap a cake on a plate, call it good IMO. But that's probably why I've never been asked to help host a shower before.

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