Shower for adoptive mother

hmontty · January 2014

Hi, ladies.

I'm throwing a shower for a friend who is going to be adopting a child.

My question is, would the shower in this case be before or after the adoption?

Being adopted myself, I know my mom's shower was after my arrival, primarily because she got a call on Friday and picked me up on Monday...she had no idea when to expect a child to actually be given to her.

My friend is in the same case. Once she pays the fee, it could be two days or 12 months, literally.

I'd like to have a shower beforehand for obvious reasons, but a couple people expressed surprise at this, given that it could be many months between the shower and the child coming.

Opinions?

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

I would wait until the adoption is complete & maybe do it the weekend before baby is welcomed home? I understand that adoption can be a roller coaster & can fall through last minute. Either wait until baby is home or the very last weekend before he/she is expected to bless the household.

BBColt78 · January 2014

I don't have an opinion, but I wanted to say that I have seen this done both ways.

My only concern is, what if an adoption doesn't happen for them? Hopefully that's not the case, but I'm sure that's what most people would wonder. Hope it happens quick!

mileswithmyles · January 2014

I would wait until it is complete, in case, God forbid, something doesn't go through.

My friends did an adoption party once everything was finalized instead of a shower. Maybe you could do the same?

beachmamaNY · January 2014

My cousin adopted and shower was before. However, adoption was international, she was matched to a specific child, and there was a timeframe RE when they would go get her.

SuperTinkerham · January 2014

I would ask her what she would prefer. When we were exploring adoption, I said I had wanted to do more of a sip and see with adopted baby. I was terrified adoption would fall through and I would have baby stuff haunting me.

seells · January 2014

I would do it after they bring the baby home. Adoptions fall through and moms change there minds at the last minute. My parents had 3 adoptions fall through before they brought me home!

Frannavaldez9399 · January 2014

My family has thrown three adoption showers.. Each one after baby is home and ink is dry. The worry that something can fall through was enough for us to feel much more comfortable waiting. We had one couple ask to print on the invite that instead of gifts for them, they requested to have a large box at the entrance for donations to the local woman's shelter. Baby items. It turned out lovely. Of course most people brought two gifts. When asked, we told people the donate gift can be as simple as a pacifier or cheap three pack of bottles. Sorry to rant... After!!!

bhead81 · January 2014

We did it after B was born and home with me. It was a nice way for people to meet him and took some of the fear out of a possible failure with the adoption. While his adoption wasn't finalized it was a great way to celebrate him being part of the family.

iqwedding3 · January 2014

I don't see anything wrong with throwing it before the adoption is finalized. Waiting until they've received the child seems similar to waiting until after the birth. You could say the same thing in that the baby might not be born. If you have it after the adoption, there's a couple of issues:
-They may not be fully prepared for the child when it comes home, or they may have to make all their initial purchases before the shower.
-They may be too busy bonding to have a shower.

Shower for adoptive mother

Re: Shower for adoptive mother

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