Q about how long TTC without help at our age (over35) — The Bump
TTC after 35

Q about how long TTC without help at our age (over35)

Since it has been put in our heads that TTC after the age of 35 is harder, is the amount of time you try to go it on your own with out going in to the DR for tests and treatments less than the amount of time for say a 27 year old? My girlfriend who was in her fairly early 20s trying to conceive was told to try for a year. Of coarse she was told to keep track of her cycle and all that good stuff. But since time is more of a concern for us ladies who are not "OLD" but past 35….please tell me that i won't walk into the Doc and be told come back in a year……

And just for the record i have been keeping track of my cycles for more than 6 months (had one REALLY wonky 45 day cycle and went right back to norm after the worst period EVER…..stress or change in habits i believe to be the culprit left my graveyard shift job, not sure if that throws it all off) Started temping last month and of coarse like many…..i was beyond confused and it made so sense to me! 

Anyway sorry so wordy.  but I'm starting to consider a trip to the DR in the next few months.  I think i spend a lot of time reading the trails and tribulations of the baby journey of you beautiful ladies and i feel for so many of you gals. I really think my husband will be so sad if he never is a father and don't want to rob him of that. I just see the journey it can be and i wonder if anyone here would say "I wish i didnt try on our own for so long….."

Thank you for reading…. :)
Me 38   DH 34
married 05-21-11 
started TTC right away

BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 

Re: Q about how long TTC without help at our age (over35)

  •  I'm 42 and when we started TTC a year ago, I went in for a 'pre-conception visit'. I discussed it with the midwife, so it was 'on the record' that we were ttc.

     I was planning to wait no more than 3 months, I'm 42. I did concieve though in two cycles (m/c though) and then again in 2 cycles (m/c again) at which point the OB said I should see an RE because I have no more time!

     So I would not wait longer than 3 months or so to make an appt.
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  • no longer then 6 months! I would also recommend if you can skip the OB and go straight to an RE do so. Otherwise get to the OB ASAP and get the referral to the RE.

    The difference is OB catch babies and help you through pregnancy - they don't know how to make babies. RE know how to make babies, understand the tests are more attentive to the details. You want the RE!

    best of luck

    My Ovulation Chart

    Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
    3 cycles clomid with Ob,
    1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
    Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
    clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
    1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
    2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
    3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.

    May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN 

    May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't. 

    February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing. 

    SURPISE BFP 4/2/2015!!!!!!!!!!

    Miscarriage 4/23/15


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  • My husband and I decided to try for a baby when I was 36. I decided to read 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' first before visiting doc. We got pg in two cycles and now have a beautiful 5 month old girl. This book really helped. We're going to try for another in a year or so (I'll be 38 or 39) and I will be using the TCofYF book again. But I think if we hadn't conceived after 2 cycles, I prob would have visited the doc around month 5 or 6 of trying. I think a year is a bit long to keep trying with no success. Go with your instincts. Good luck!
  • Thank you girls! Please excuse my ignorance…What is an RE? 
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away

    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
  •  That is a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I don't really know what endocrines are, lol, but these docs specalize in getting us pregnant, vs ob's who specalize in established pregnancies and births.
  • I'd go as soon as you want to get general conversations going.  6 months was my limit before needing to start more testing.

    Native NYC-ers living in Switzerland - First time parents - 36 + 37

    TTC: 8 Months / BFP: 2/8/2014 / EDD: 10/20/2014  

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I agree with the above posters - I would go as soon as you can to start the process.  I was told when we first started to come back if we weren't pregnant and if I was getting anxious after 6 mos (I was a few months shy of 35 then).  We waited simply because life got in the way - my husband had surgery, I started a new job, etc.  When we finally did go, my doctor said that was fine we waited but in retrospect I wish we hadn't waited until 16 months to go see the RE.

    The general guidance I have heard from drs and read: under 35 - if not pregnant after 12 mos, see an RE, if over 35 then after 6 mos.  I have heard that over 40 either right away or after 3 mos.

    Either way I agree with PP - make the appointment as soon as you can.  Good luck!!!
    ***signature/ticker warning***
    Me:37 DH:39
    TTC#1 since 3/2012

    Diagnosis : Unexplained Infertility

    3 BFN rounds Clomid + IUI
    IVF 1 - BFN, 1 Frozen
    IVF 2 - BFN, 5 Frozen
    FET 1 - BFP!!! EDD 1/24/15 Beta 1: 700, Beta 2: 2,156; 1st U/S 6w3d: HB 118bpm, 2nd U/S 9w3d: HB 171bpm

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I went to the RE after 6 months. That is standard medical advice for the over 35 set. I for one knew I had had good timing and was ovulating, so having had 6 real tries to get pregnant and not being successful, I was pretty convinced something was amiss (and it was).

    IVF #1 ET 1 d3 embryo 10/30/11 BFP
    3 Embryos frozen (1 d5, 2 d6)

    DS born 07/29/12

    FET #1 ET 1 d5 embryo 02/10/15 BFN

    FET #2 1 d6 embryo didn't survive thaw, transferred last d6. CP :(

  • Don't let doctors put you off or make you feel like you are being anxious if you are over 35 and have been trying for 6 months. If there is a problem there's a much better chance they can help you get pregnant if you are 35 rather than 38, and better at 38 than 40+. 3-4 cycles is all I'd wait at 40. 

  • My next annual checkup with my OBGYN is in May, and if I'm not pregnant by then we will have tried for 5 cycles, so I will be waving the red flag at that point. I will be 36 by then.
  • Hiya! Im 37, and after 2 months of TTC, I promptly took myself and my husband to an RE. Time, for once, is not my friend. And my RE agreed :)
  • Areej, what did the RE say when you went in? Assuming they ran some tests, but if everything was ok (not sure of your story) did they encourage you to keep trying naturally for a few more months? I want to be pregnant yesterday, as I'm sure everyone here does. Hate the idea of wasting 6 months trying on our own first.
  • I think if i go 2 more cycles i will get myself to an RE then…I told my hubby at his next physical to tell his dr we are trying to get PG. They are around to run some test on him that will make it impossible for us to conceive for 2-3 months on his end…..so  i want them to hake sure his BP meds are not getting in the way. I read that some do and his prescription i have read mixed reviews.
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away

    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
  • Hi Heather!

    My situation might be different because I am paying out of pocket. I went in and told the RE we would like to have a baby and I want the "surest" way to get there. He immediately said IVF. I asked him about IUI because I kind of wanted to try that, but then her reminded me that I asked for the "fastest" and "surest" way. At my age, he said, the chances of conceiving naturally at any given month is 15%. With IVF it shoots to 50% and with PDG with IVF it shoots up to 70%. So I said let's do it! The did all sorts of tests to make sure that there was nothing "blocking" our way and all is good! Now, had I wanted to go with insurance, after the age of 35, and RE will tell you try for 6 months. Anything over 6 months you are considered infertile. THEN the fun of testing and several different ways to get pregnant begins. I think you go through the whole different methods such as IUI and what not before they move you on to IVF. Mind you I did not have an INFERTILE diagnosis. I just chose to pay out of pocket and this makes me take control of what I want. From what I've been reading on theses forums and others, IVF is usually out of pocket and rarely covered by insurance. My honest opinion?? If you are above the age of 35 go straight to IVF. Good Luck!
  • Helpful info here. I just turned 41 and we are now TTC. :/
  • I am in your boat too! I'm 36 and been TTC since my honeymoon last August. First few months, didn't temp, didn't have that much sex really.  But the last 3 months have been temping and seems to be very normal cycle, normal O.  In the last 2 months, O temp shift around day 15 to 19, LP has been estimated 13 days.  My therapist, who is in her 70s, who has seen MANY women in their 30s and 40s and especially anxious types (I live in NYC!) said to me to wait a year. She said she has seen so many women give up at the 6 month mark and then get BFP in that second 6 month.

    So this month I'm going to try more often, I have 2 friends that said they had sex 5 or 6 days in a row and it worked.  I'm starting to get that more dissapointed feeling each month, but still am feeling hopeful, and I'm not making an appt with an RE until i get closer to the year mark.

    Also I am heartened by the Atlantic magazine article that basically says you can wait until 40 to start feeling time pressure.  https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/    I'm not sure if this has been discussed on the blog back in July when it came out.

    i'll do an intro at some point (i have been lurking for a while but just finally opened my account so i don't think i can post an intro just yet.

    happy to be in this forum, i was looking at the main TTC one for a while and it was full of meanies (and youngies). this forum seems to be a bit more down to earth. we are earth MAMAs - i am working on visualizing the energy of the baby coming into me.  I am eating very well, lots of homemade broths with chicken feet for gelatin, lots of good fats.  
    TTC#1 since Aug 2013, I'm 37, DH 41.  
    Maya Arvigo Abdominal massage (daily self care), plus TTC meditations.
    I'm very sensitive to diet (gluten, avoid processed foods) and environment. Have a history of inflammation and tendinitis before going off gluten in 2009.  
    July 2014 - RE Visit #1: Eggs look good, Endometrioma on R ovary, HSG showed blocked R tube close to ovary. DH SA normal 
    DX: Endometriosis probably the IF cause and gunking up tubes.  Since egg reserve is high, RE says I can wait a couple months and then get laproscopic surgery to remove endo & clear tube.  If that doesn't help then move to IVF. 
    Dec 2014 - Saw new RE - does not recommend surgery on tube as it isn't likely to help.  Doubts I have endometriosis.  My endometrioma shrunk to neglible size (yay!) 
    Seriously considering IVF in March/April
    12/17/14 - Natural BFP! 
  • See an RE, NOW. Also, start reading up on TTC >35. You will learn a lot and better prepare yourself to make your journey less stressed. Good luck!

    My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update - old blog.

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
    Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins
    First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12
    First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
    IVF #1
    : 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
    ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
    IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13
    ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
    IVF #3:
    NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
    ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN

    IVF #4: (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
    ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
    Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...
    IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
    BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
    2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
    2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
    2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
    IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
    5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
    6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
    7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
    EDD 3/18/15!

  • Thanks ladies. I will be considering an appt with an RE very soon I think. :)

    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away

    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
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